07-05-2006, 02:46 PM
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#61
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Franchise Player
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Calgary
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The crazies always come out at Stampede too...
The mall security at TD Square once caught a man masturbating in the stairway that leads down to the loading docks. Pants around his ankles and everything.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Grimbl420
I can wash my penis without taking my pants off.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Moneyhands23
If edmonton wins the cup in the next decade I will buy everyone on CP a bottle of vodka.
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07-05-2006, 06:02 PM
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#62
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In the Sin Bin
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There was a Hare Krishna monk walking up Hwy 16 between Vermilion and Lloydminster this morning who became the celebrity of the day on the radio stations in the region. They even asked listeners to go out and talk with him, which some did. Turns out that this is the third time this monk has walked across Canada, and that he wants people to stop and talk with him.
I also believe that this is then the second time I have passed this very monk on the highway, as I saw him between Strathmore and Calgary about two years ago.
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07-05-2006, 08:34 PM
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#63
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Franchise Player
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Sunshine Coast
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Here's one about a strange dog. When I was about ten we lived in a duplex next to my aunt and uncle. He got a young, medium sized mongrel, named it Bingo. We lived in a small town where people didn't bother fencing in their dogs in those days but my uncle found that he had to chain this one up as it chased cars and was a bit aggressive. The older it got the more aggressive it got and when a car came by it would run full out until it hit the end of the chain and go up in the air as the chain snapped it back. Eventually it would break the chain, go after the cars tires and bite the tires being thrown in a couple of loop de loops before the car was gone. The dog would then take off and I was recruited to help find it. I never wanted to find that dog and I think my uncle eventually shot it. Thinking back the dog probably had a brain tumour or something to make it so crazy.
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07-05-2006, 08:49 PM
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#64
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Franchise Player
Join Date: Oct 2001
Location: Clinching Party
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Quote:
Originally Posted by FireFly
The mall security at TD Square once caught a man masturbating in the stairway that leads down to the loading docks. Pants around his ankles and everything.
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LIES!
I hear from my friend about that episode. My friend said the guy's pants were not around his ankles, not even close. My friend also said that the guy wasn't masturbating but that his pants came undone accidentally due to the jostling from going down the stairs. My friend says it was all a misunderstanding and my friend thinks that guy should be allowed back in the mall. I also think the security guards don't have to be so rude and they should return my private property because they have no right to confiscate anyting.
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07-05-2006, 09:19 PM
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#65
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Franchise Player
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Hell
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Barnes
Ill have to look at the stuff he gave me.
There's maps, diagrams and everything. The guy was all business. Had a sharp suit on, no foil on his head. Everyone around us was very entertained with my questions.
Lets find him and toilet seat head and we'll interview em both. You ask the questions, I'll hold the camera.
CP Productions Presents: Calgary, a crazy persons history.
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07-05-2006, 09:21 PM
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#66
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Franchise Player
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Hell
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Quote:
Originally Posted by shane_c
My fiance told me this one the other day...
She was downtown waiting for the bus after work and this guy walks by with a balloon hat and sits down on a nearby bench. He takes off his backpack and pulls out a bottle of vodka and finishes whatever is left in it. He then throws the bottle in the bushes behind him. In the meantime one of the balloons in his hat busted which he thought was quite funny. Then he gets out some toothpaste, puts it on his finger, brushes his teeth and gets up and leaves. That evening we were watching the news and they were showing a shot of some guy down at Eau Claire making balloon toys for the kids. Guess who?
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shut up!!! it's the balloon guy from Eau Claire? wow didnt realize he was a drunk bum?  LOL
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07-05-2006, 09:34 PM
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#67
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Franchise Player
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Hell
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JiriHrdina
I have a similar story to MQS when I worked for Rogers Video. Just before midnight dude comes in with a copy of The Lion King to return. No receipt. No packaging. He wants his money though, right now. Weird looking dude too - skinny little guy with buggy eyes.
Anyhoo my boss says to him - sorry man no receipt no luck. Dude argues and they go back and forth a bit while I observe from the other station. Dude starts to get angry so my boss threatens to call the cops. Dude still won't leave. My boss gives me the nod and I pick up the phone and say to the guy "you see this..I'm dialing the cops right now". Dude still doesn't care and continues to yell.
Anyhoo, cops show up. And this little guy won't leave calmly. Must weight 150 pounds soaking wet but he puts up a fight. Takes these 2 big cops a good 5 minutes to haul him out of the store. But once he gets out there that's when the fun starts.
This is out front on 17 Ave SW and he wraps his legs around a tree. These 2 cops try their best but can't get him to let go. Another car shows up with 2 big boy cops and it takes all 4 of them yanking and pulling to throw this guy in the back of their car.
It was unreal how much of a fight this little guy put up. Adrenalin or drugs I suppose.
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PCP!
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07-05-2006, 09:45 PM
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#68
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Franchise Player
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Hell
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Quote:
Originally Posted by fotze
If you ask that guy will make you x-rated balloon animals if no kids are around.
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ah, thanks for the tip! LOL
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07-05-2006, 11:09 PM
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#69
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Franchise Player
Join Date: Oct 2001
Location: Behind Nikkor Glass
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I once saw this fat crazy woman who dropped her pants and started to urinate at Northland mall. This was near the old theatre (Now Gold's Gym) and as you may or may not know there is a slight downhill grade and her urine almost made it to the food court.
Her "boyfriend" was this crazy guy who would walk around wearing big headphones but they weren't plugged into anything... The cord would just dangle.
Ahhh memories...
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07-07-2006, 09:06 AM
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#70
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Not the 1 millionth post winnar
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Los Angeles
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RougeUnderoos
LIES!
I hear from my friend about that episode. My friend said the guy's pants were not around his ankles, not even close. My friend also said that the guy wasn't masturbating but that his pants came undone accidentally due to the jostling from going down the stairs. My friend says it was all a misunderstanding and my friend thinks that guy should be allowed back in the mall. I also think the security guards don't have to be so rude and they should return my private property because they have no right to confiscate anyting.
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Awesome post!
I once knew this crazy hockey player. He had ok skill, but would occasionally snap and take bad penalties. The wierd part was this nutty grin he always had plastered on his face - even when he was about to get pounded.
He would yell out the most insane stuff you have ever heard too..."ONE BUS, TWENTY STEERING WHEELS!" and "We have to play a hospital game. You know. Lots of patients!"
I think he moved to New York a few years back...
__________________
"Isles give up 3 picks for 5.5 mil of cap space.
Oilers give up a pick and a player to take on 5.5 mil."
-Bax
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07-07-2006, 11:09 AM
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#72
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In Your MCP
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Watching Hot Dog Hans
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Regulator75
Her "boyfriend" was this crazy guy who would walk around wearing big headphones but they weren't plugged into anything... The cord would just dangle.
Ahhh memories... 
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Wasn't that the same guy who would rollerskate down the pathways all the time? He was a big black dude, and IIRC he was some kind of musician.
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07-07-2006, 11:40 AM
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#73
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Had an idea!
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr.Coffee
Some stories came from my boss too. I don't know if I should get into specifics... but lets just say there was a gangbang in Pincher Creek involving more than one species, my boss, and some of the town's finest. And by finest I mean surely their ugliest. It was a bad night for the poor guy.
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Oh really? I live in Pincher Creek and would really like to know details.
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07-07-2006, 12:22 PM
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#74
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Ben
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: God's Country (aka Cape Breton Island)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Azure
Oh really? I live in Pincher Creek and would really like to know details.

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come on now, what your sister does in the comforts of her own home is her business not yours
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"Calgary Flames is the best team in all the land" - My Brainwashed Son
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07-07-2006, 12:26 PM
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#75
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Had an idea!
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Maritime Q-Scout
come on now, what your sister does in the comforts of her own home is her business not yours 
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Sicko.
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07-07-2006, 12:42 PM
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#76
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Ben
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: God's Country (aka Cape Breton Island)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Azure
Sicko.
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meh look where I'm from, of course I'm sick (and have a horrid sense of humour)
but it could be worse, I could be from Pincher Creek
__________________
"Calgary Flames is the best team in all the land" - My Brainwashed Son
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07-07-2006, 01:11 PM
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#77
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Franchise Player
Join Date: Oct 2001
Location: Behind Nikkor Glass
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tron_fdc
Wasn't that the same guy who would rollerskate down the pathways all the time? He was a big black dude, and IIRC he was some kind of musician.
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No, he's was a crazy white guy mid 40's I'd guess.
Heavy set, hair never combed... err washed.
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07-07-2006, 02:14 PM
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#78
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Had an idea!
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Maritime Q-Scout
meh look where I'm from, of course I'm sick (and have a horrid sense of humour)
but it could be worse, I could be from Pincher Creek 
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Better then coming from the Maritimes.......
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07-07-2006, 02:27 PM
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#79
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 Posted the 6 millionth post!
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Two encounters......
1) This guy calling himself "Rainbow Man" approached my buddy in an internet cafe, and tried to explain that the limosine used in the movie Pretty Woman was his, and that he owned a ranch with 20,000 heads of cattle where he parks his limo in the stable. Then he proceeded to tell us that he created the Internet, and that his website is purely coded by 14,000 email addresses, all of which are his. Apparently he also turns the Internet on and off with a switch, and that Mount Royal College hired him to be a the Professor of Internet studies so he can show his wonderful invention to eager and willing students. Next, he tried to explain that all the trees you see in video games are his own creations, and if you look hard enough, you'll see his digital signature on the bottom of each one. Finally, he pulled us over to his computer he was using to show us the websites he made, such as www.pepsi.com and www.ford.com. He explained that these were his own creations, and that the companies were stealing from his own brain children.
At that point, the Cafe owner told him to pay up and leave, and he couldn't because he had no money. So he made it very clear to me and my friends that he was going to return with $8000 to pay his charge. The guy next to me quipped "If he returns with $8000, I'm going to punch him in the face and rob him." He never came back. Rats!
2) Anyone ever been to the Denny's on 16th ave NW? I don't know if he's there, but one of the servers there must have had an obsessive compulsive disorder, because he absolutely couldn't stand a mess. He would quickly wipe up any crumbs that fell off our dish, he cleaned up the spills from our drinks, and made sure the floor we were walking on wasn't muddy. He did each cleaning job within 30 seconds of it happening, it was bizarre. We decided to ahve a little fun with him - we started throwing pancakes on the windows and sticking our food everywhere and smearing syrup all over the table (I know, I know, but we were drunk)...He didn't say a word, he just ran over and with furious vigor, he clean those spots like it was a freakin' hosptial. I'm pretty sure he was mentally handicapped, but it was funny nonetheless!
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07-07-2006, 03:28 PM
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#80
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Ben
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: God's Country (aka Cape Breton Island)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ozy_Flame
we started throwing pancakes on the windows and sticking our food everywhere and smearing syrup all over the table
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isn't this thread about OTHER people being weird
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"Calgary Flames is the best team in all the land" - My Brainwashed Son
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