Are people who follow their dreams a bit out to lunch?
So I was reading "dear prudence" letters today, and came across this one. Basically, a chick is married to a guy that has been "working" on a screenplay for six years. She's working the daily grind, and he's following his dreams.
Prudence gave some refreshing advice:
Thank you for this important corrective to the notion that all those with a passion should chuck the dull 9 to 5 and follow their muse. We read stories of people who sell their novel for a million bucks, or turn a cupcake recipe into an empire. Of course, it doesn’t make sense to write a profile of the guy whose been noodling over a script for more than half a decade and is a hopeless leech.
I've noticed this about a lot of people that pursue their dreams. They often turn off the logical side of their brain and want pats on the back and dole out smug smiles as they regale you with tales of their passions and their journey to satisfaction. 99.9 times out of 100, there are family members or RRSP savings suffering when somebody puts their dreams ahead of taking care of business and actually progressing through life with some forward momentum. I think there is a social expectation to congratulate people that shuck responsibility in favour of doomed-to-fail dreams, and you come off as a jerk if you poke holes in their fantasy.
The other annoying thing about these types is they think they're so interesting relative to a typical 9 to fiver that is responsibly going about their days and lives creating a better future for themselves and their loved ones.
What do you guys think of dreamers? Are you with me and Prudence, or are you wrong?
So I was reading "dear prudence" letters today, and came across this one. Basically, a chick is married to a guy that has been "working" on a screenplay for six years. She's working the daily grind, and he's following his dreams.
Prudence gave some refreshing advice:
Thank you for this important corrective to the notion that all those with a passion should chuck the dull 9 to 5 and follow their muse. We read stories of people who sell their novel for a million bucks, or turn a cupcake recipe into an empire. Of course, it doesn’t make sense to write a profile of the guy whose been noodling over a script for more than half a decade and is a hopeless leech.
I've noticed this about a lot of people that pursue their dreams. They often turn off the logical side of their brain and want pats on the back and dole out smug smiles as they regale you with tales of their passions and their journey to satisfaction. 99.9 times out of 100, there are family members or RRSP savings suffering when somebody puts their dreams ahead of taking care of business and actually progressing through life with some forward momentum. I think there is a social expectation to congratulate people that shuck responsibility in favour of doomed-to-fail dreams, and you come off as a jerk if you poke holes in their fantasy.
The other annoying thing about these types is they think they're so interesting relative to a typical 9 to fiver that is responsibly going about their days and lives creating a better future for themselves and their loved ones.
What do you guys think of dreamers? Are you with me and Prudence, or are you wrong?
His book, so good they can't ignore you, is basically about developing a skill first and then using that as leverage to a better, more free (if desired), lifestyle rather than quitting your 'job' to pursue a passion that will likely never pay off.
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Depends on the dream and the person's skill. If I wanted to write a book I would, but I certainly wouldn't quit my job to focus on something that isn't guaranteed to pan out.
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I think more pertains to taking action for yourself - seeing (dreaming of) an end goal, and making it happen. People who can walk the walk.
If someone can turn a dream it into reality, and do it successfully, that person deserves accolades. Just don't be a dick about it if it happens.
I like to dream as much as the next guy. I also look at buying a lotto ticket as buying a real cool daydream, so in fact I do get something of value when I buy a ticket a few times a year, whether I win or inevitably lose.
Successful people may deserve accolades, but something I notice with the follow-your-passions crowd is they want accolades just because they are following their passions; tangible achievement be damned.
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Depends on the dream and the person's skill. If I wanted to write a book I would, but I certainly wouldn't quit my job to focus on something that isn't guaranteed to pan out.
That's what I think, too. I am working on a book, but my day job and looking after my family and spending time with my friends comes first. The book may never happen - or if it does - it'll likely be when I have earned the time and flexibility in my schedule to make it happen. I'm not about to jeopardize my family's stability so I can reach for the stars.
Hi Stephen
A few years ago, I did a special called “The Dirty Truth.” In it, I challenged the conventional wisdom of popular platitudes by offering “dirtier,” more individualistic alternatives. For my inspiration, I looked to those hackneyed bromides that hang on the walls of corporate America. The ones that extoll passersby to live up to their potential by “dreaming bigger,” “working smarter,” and being a better “team player.” In that context, I first saw “Follow Your Passion” displayed in the conference room of a telemarketing firm that employed me thirty years ago. The words appeared next to an image of a rainbow, arcing gently over a waterfall and disappearing into a field of butterflies. Thinking of it now still makes me throw up in my mouth.
Like all bad advice, “Follow Your Passion” is routinely dispensed as though it’s wisdom were both incontrovertible and equally applicable to all. It’s not. Just because you’re passionate about something doesn’t mean you won’t suck at it. And just because you’re determined to improve doesn’t mean that you will. Does that mean you shouldn’t pursue a thing you’re passionate about?” Of course not. The question is, for how long, and to what end?
When it comes to earning a living and being a productive member of society – I don’t think people should limit their options to those vocations they feel passionate towards. I met a lot of people on Dirty Jobs who really loved their work. But very few of them dreamed of having the career they ultimately chose. I remember a very successful septic tank cleaner who told me his secret of success. “I looked around to see where everyone else was headed, and then I went the opposite way,” he said. “Then I got good at my work. Then I found a way to love it. Then I got rich.”
Every time I watch The Oscars, I cringe when some famous movie star – trophy in hand – starts to deconstruct the secret to happiness. It’s always the same thing, and I can never hit “mute” fast enough to escape the inevitable cliches. “Don’t give up on your dreams kids, no matter what.” “Don’t let anyone tell you that you don’t have what it takes.” And of course, “Always follow your passion!”
Today, we have millions looking for work, and millions of good jobs unfilled because people are simply not passionate about pursuing those particular opportunities. Do we really need Lady GaGa telling our kids that happiness and success can be theirs if only they follow their passion?
There are many examples – including those you mention – of passionate people with big dreams who stayed the course, worked hard, overcame adversity, and changed the world though sheer pluck and determination. We love stories that begin with a dream, and culminate when that dream comes true. And to your question, we would surely be worse off without the likes of Bill Gates and Thomas Edison and all the other innovators and Captains of Industry. But from my perspective, I don’t see a shortage of people who are willing to dream big. I see people struggling because their reach has exceeded their grasp.
I’m fascinated by the beginning of American Idol. Every year, thousands of aspiring pop-stars show up with great expectations, only to learn that they don’t have anything close to the skills they thought they did. What’s amazing to me, isn’t their lack of talent – it’s their lack of awareness, and the resulting shock of being rejected. How is it that so many people are so blind to their own limitations? How did these peope get the impression they could sing in the first place? Then again, is their incredulity really so different than the surprise of a college graduate who learns on his first interview that his double major in Medieval Studies and French Literature doesn’t guarantee him the job he expected? In a world where everyone gets a trophy, encouragement trumps honesty, and realistic expectations go out the window.
When I was 16, I wanted to follow in my grandfathers footsteps. I wanted to be a tradesman. I wanted to build things, and fix things, and make things with my own two hands. This was my passion, and I followed it for years. I took all the shop classes at school, and did all I could to absorb the knowledge and skill that came so easily to my granddad. Unfortunately, the handy gene skipped over me, and I became frustrated. But I remained determined to do whatever it took to become a tradesman.
One day, I brought home a sconce from woodshop that looked like a paramecium, and after a heavy sigh, my grandfather told me the truth. He explained that my life would be a lot more satisfying and productive if I got myself a different kind of toolbox. This was almost certainly the best advice I’ve ever received, but at the time, it was crushing. It felt contradictory to everything I knew about persistence, and the importance of “staying the course.” It felt like quitting. But here’s the “dirty truth,” Stephen. “Staying the course” only makes sense if you’re headed in a sensible direction. Because passion and persistence – while most often associated with success – are also essential ingredients of futility.
That’s why I would never advise anyone to “follow their passion” until I understand who they are, what they want, and why they want it. Even then, I’d be cautious. Passion is too important to be without, but too fickle to be guided by. Which is why I’m more inclined to say, “Don’t Follow Your Passion, But Always Bring it With You.”
Carry On
Mike
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I like to dream as much as the next guy. I also look at buying a lotto ticket as buying a real cool daydream, so in fact I do get something of value when I buy a ticket a few times a year, whether I win or inevitably lose.
Successful people may deserve accolades, but something I notice with the follow-your-passions crowd is they want accolades just because they are following their passions; tangible achievement be damned.
Do you have many run ins with the "follow-your-passions crowd"?
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Captain James P. DeCOSTE, CD, 18 Sep 1993
Successful dreamers have limitless passion and the drive to make their dream reality. This guy sounds like Tobias from Arrested Development.
I disagree. I think it's successful dreamers that you hear about. For every one of those, there are probably 10,000 unsuccessful dreamers that possess all the same attributes as the successful guy, but remain failures nevertheless.
Do you have many run ins with the "follow-your-passions crowd"?
Run-ins? Like does it come to fisty-cuffs? No, I wouldn't say I have many run-ins, but I do get annoyed when I talk to them. Particularly when they are handing out unsolicited life advice about following dreams and such, which they are prone to doing.
I don't see anything wrong with it if it is a decision between spouses.
If you are comfortable with one person working and the other pursuing a dream then why not. She is no longer happy with the situation, but her complaint seems to be that he has taken the time off and is not pursuing his dream very much. If he was actually working hard towards his goal then I think it is perfectly valid.
I disagree. I think it's successful dreamers that you hear about. For every one of those, there are probably 10,000 unsuccessful dreamers that possess all the same attributes as the successful guy, but remain failures nevertheless.
Opportunity and timing also make a big difference. My statement was in the context of screenplay couch sitter. Obviously the road to success is littered with failure and regret.
Nothing wrong with dreaming. But generally, if you're sacrificing family, friends, ability to provide for the family to be living off someone else amongst other things etc. and there is no clear results and perceived motion of going forward and making progress, you're a moron.
I want to travel the world and write a book. I'm not walking outside tomorrow with a backpack and a pad of paper hoping to hitch hike across the world and find inspiration in coffee shops for a novel.
IMO, the issue isn't dreaming. It's how you attempt to achieve your dream.
I think a lot of individuals who rely on the Bank of Mom and Dad are like this somewhat.
Last edited by DoubleF; 11-06-2014 at 02:11 PM.
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Are people who follow their dreams a bit out to lunch?
