Transit is the easiest place to cold approach. I spent last summer in Toronto, and would play "lost tourist" on the subway system. People love giving help, and if you're transferring onto the same train, by the time I get off, I usually had a number. Also great because in the tube there's no cell service so a lot of people just sit there like they did pre-cellphone.
But you'd actually have to be a tourist for this to work n'est-ce pas?
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Without going down the whole misogynistic line here that things like a video guide clearly represents, all I'll say is that it really is just stupid.
If it makes your life easier, great I suppose, but women are just human beings like anyone else, you don't need any special techniques to talk to them. There isn't some magic formula.
Just look at it this way: How would you look at some guy if he had to watch a video on "How to chat with friends!" just so he could go out for drinks with his buds? A little unfortunate and embarrassing, of course. It's the same thing. You could say it in a nice way if you wanted, but the guy would definitely be a "loser."
Or they could be a person with a disability or have extremely poor social skills, but I guess for a prick like yourself, it is hard to understand and empathize with others. A good friend of my GF's watches those videos on 'how to make friends' and also goes to toastmasters, because she does have a mild disability and can come across as awkward in social situations. She is certianly not a loser and I admire her for taking steps for her own personal growth.
Just because things come naturally to some, doesn't mean that you should judge others for not being as socially apt.
Without going down the whole misogynistic line here that things like a video guide clearly represents, all I'll say is that it really is just stupid.
If it makes your life easier, great I suppose, but women are just human beings like anyone else, you don't need any special techniques to talk to them. There isn't some magic formula.
Just look at it this way: How would you look at some guy if he had to watch a video on "How to chat with friends!" just so he could go out for drinks with his buds? A little unfortunate and embarrassing, of course. It's the same thing. You could say it in a nice way if you wanted, but the guy would definitely be a "loser."
My point is simply that videos and books and all that stuff are really embarrassing and disrespectful things to admit to using. The idea that you need a lesson on how to talk to a woman treats them like they're something more or less than human. They're just people. Just talk to them like people. It isn't magic.
Just look at Dion. He goes and he talks to them like they're human beings, and it seems to turn out just fine for him. Again, if you need to watch a video to learn to talk to people like they're people, you should probably just die alone.
Hah!
Maybe it's because you're 'heavily' tattooed you think you're so cool. Not everyone was blessed with normal working motor skills or knows how to talk to friends/make them. Everyone grew up differently with different settings.
Some people I went to school with just seemed to have problems saying the right things at the right times and that in itself could cause problems for them because some people might not want to be friends with 'socially awkward people'.
People watch videos on how to skate, does that mean they shouldn't ever learn to play hockey? Others watch videos on how to cook that means they are losers and should starve to death?
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If it makes your life easier, great I suppose, but women are just human beings like anyone else, you don't need any special techniques to talk to them. There isn't some magic formula.
Actually there are things that work, and things that don't. The whole premise about this stuff is you want them to have fun and feel comfortable, you can certainly argue about how people use these skills and make judgements on the morality of knowing only too well what triggers to push to get what you want, social engineering and all that.
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Just look at it this way: How would you look at some guy if he had to watch a video on "How to chat with friends!" just so he could go out for drinks with his buds? A little unfortunate and embarrassing, of course. It's the same thing. You could say it in a nice way if you wanted, but the guy would definitely be a "loser."
Guess you don't have or know socially akward people, or those who suffer from asbergers. I do and for them learning about how to interact with people helps, not everyone is as amazing as you
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My point is simply that videos and books and all that stuff are really embarrassing and disrespectful things to admit to using. The idea that you need a lesson on how to talk to a woman treats them like they're something more or less than human. They're just people. Just talk to them like people. It isn't magic.
Actually you must not understand what these guys are teaching because its exactly this they mostly try to get across. A lot of it is teaching guys with low self esteem and confidence how to become more confident and feel better about themselves. The bar is an environment where women often feel instantly stand off ish when men approach, and the nicer you are more often than not you will be received badly. Come in with confidence, humor and fun, and you will get treated differently, I speak from hard learned experience.
Its exactly about the reality of trying to gain the interest of a woman you like, and sorry but there is a science to it whether you like to accept it or not, all you have to do is learn how to be a better person, how to make people enjoy your company rather than them waiting for the moment for you to leave them a lone.
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Just look at Dion. He goes and he talks to them like they're human beings, and it seems to turn out just fine for him. Again, if you need to watch a video to learn to talk to people like they're people, you should probably just die alone.
Again, you seem to fundamentally misunderstand this whole pick up art, its an art, and the best guys at it treat women well and get treated well in return. But women do as a rule prefer certain ways of being approached and flirted with, not all of course but as long as you know how to read the signs you won't make an idiot of yourself.
As with all skills in life, learning more about what works and what doesn't has nothing to do with what kind of person you are, even though you seem to want to judge them harshly. I've never had trouble talking to women, but I am always open to learning more to improve myself, and while there are things in the pick up artist community that bother me, as a whole its helping thousands of guys all over the world meet women and improve their lives.
You are aware there a lots of lonely guys missing out on life because they just don't know what they are doing, these guys need help, and I'm very happy there is something out there to help them. Now what guys do with it is another thing, some will use their powers for good, some for evil, but that is with all things.
Just look at it this way: How would you look at some guy if he had to watch a video on "How to chat with friends!" just so he could go out for drinks with his buds? A little unfortunate and embarrassing, of course. It's the same thing. You could say it in a nice way if you wanted, but the guy would definitely be a "loser."
You mean like how Dale Carnegie's book "How to Win Friends and Influence People" has been a best seller and regarded as one of the best business books since its release in 1936?
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EDIT: I'll just stipulate my above post with "unless you have a disability." I do, however, stick to my statement.
If you need a video, or a course, or a book to talk to women, you should probably just die alone. The whole "art of the pickup" is misogyny in it's most basic form. Hey, if you need a book to learn how to properly interact with ALL people, then I get it, but most of these books are geared to speaking to women and connecting with them. If you need a book for that, you're a bad person.
If you can talk to literally any other human being, then congrats, you're already fully capable of talking to a woman.
You can make almost anything sound kind of racist when you put it like that...
Black people love to wear dresses.
Black people pee sitting down.
Black people use a different public bathroom than men.
See what I did there?
None of those statements sound racist to me. Black people like talking about themselves, black people love it when you ignore them, etc., sound kind of racist, or at the very least dehumanizing.
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Originally Posted by undercoverbrother
Men, women, kids, whites, blacks, yellows, all people like to talk about themselves. While the way he phrased it may seem dickish, it doesn't make it any less true.
I don't necessarily agree that it's true, but either way then say "people like talking about themselves" as opposed to singling it out as a gender-specific trait.
I can cold approach any lady and strike up a conversation and I usually do quite well until the uncontrolled bursts of laughter from my wife ruin things. Or she notices the snot and left over food from one of my kids on my shoulder. Outside of that I'm golden.
Outside of a few megamen here approaching and interacting with women is very difficult. I think it all comes down to confidence (not arrogance) and being comfortable with who you are. That alone can be extremely difficult for some, accepting you for you is a big step in damn near anything. I have no sage advice other than nothing ventured nothing gained and to always remember things are not so bad that they can't get worse.
The way I look at it anyone telling you they like you has to be a little flattering and make you feel good. No need to be rude and make them feel like an ass as I'm sure they had to work the courage up to approach in the first place. Of course there are exceptions.
EDIT: I'll just stipulate my above post with "unless you have a disability." I do, however, stick to my statement.
If you need a video, or a course, or a book to talk to women, you should probably just die alone. The whole "art of the pickup" is misogyny in it's most basic form. Hey, if you need a book to learn how to properly interact with ALL people, then I get it, but most of these books are geared to speaking to women and connecting with them. If you need a book for that, you're a bad person.
If you can talk to literally any other human being, then congrats, you're already fully capable of talking to a woman.
You're making a fool out of yourself here, brother. Especially on the internet - a place filled the absolute brim with socially awkward people who have issues interacting with humans and making friends in real life. Telling someone they should die alone because they need advice on how to talk to girls is some sad, ignorant bull####.
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But you'd actually have to be a tourist for this to work n'est-ce pas?
No, I don't think so. You just have to act like one. I guess the perceived vulnerability of a guy being lost gets girls to put their guard down or something. Or maybe girls are surprised a guy would actually ask for directions?
I don't necessarily agree that it's true, but either way then say "people like talking about themselves" as opposed to singling it out as a gender-specific trait.
Which is whyI said his phrasing was "dickish".
People really like talking about themselves, it is true:
In a new study [PDF] published in the respected Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, Harvard University researchers conducted a series of experiments to assess how much people liked talking about themselves and why. In one study, they scanned people’s brains while those people either revealed personal information about themselves or judged the personalities or opinions of others. In another experiment, researchers tested whether people preferred to answer questions about themselves, other people or neutral facts — participants got differing levels of monetary compensation depending on the question they chose. Yet another study explored whether people wanted to share their answers with others or keep them to themselves.
Why, in a world full of ideas to discover, develop, and discuss, do people spend the majority of their time talking about themselves? Recent research suggests a simple explanation: because itfeels good.
No, I don't think so. You just have to act like one. I guess the perceived vulnerability of a guy being lost gets girls to put their guard down or something. Or maybe girls are surprised a guy would actually ask for directions?
I have found all my best relationships have been built on a foundation of lies..
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I can cold approach any lady and strike up a conversation and I usually do quite well until the uncontrolled bursts of laughter from my wife ruin things. Or she notices the snot and left over food from one of my kids on my shoulder. Outside of that I'm golden.
Outside of a few megamen here approaching and interacting with women is very difficult. I think it all comes down to confidence (not arrogance) and being comfortable with who you are. That alone can be extremely difficult for some, accepting you for you is a big step in damn near anything. I have no sage advice other than nothing ventured nothing gained and to always remember things are not so bad that they can't get worse.
The way I look at it anyone telling you they like you has to be a little flattering and make you feel good. No need to be rude and make them feel like an ass as I'm sure they had to work the courage up to approach in the first place. Of course there are exceptions.
I disagree. Like anything in life it's more about practice than innate abilities or confidence. You can be as confident as you want but if you don't have enough experience literally hardwired in your brain it will be difficult. The best way to get better at it is just trying over and over. The best pickup artists generally have the most rejections as well but don't care.
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Originally Posted by rubecube
This kind of stuff just blows my mind. You have to either be joking or completely lacking self-awareness to not realize that this is a misogynist statement. Here's a good tip, if you think replacing the word "women" with say "black people" when makes your generalization sound kinda racist, it's probably also a sexist statement.
This is just ignorant. Women's brains are hardwired to naturally be more social and emotional, being aware of that doesn't make me a misogynist. I don't have any prejudice against women so awsome false accusation
EDIT: I'll just stipulate my above post with "unless you have a disability." I do, however, stick to my statement.
If you need a video, or a course, or a book to talk to women, you should probably just die alone. The whole "art of the pickup" is misogyny in it's most basic form. Hey, if you need a book to learn how to properly interact with ALL people, then I get it, but most of these books are geared to speaking to women and connecting with them. If you need a book for that, you're a bad person.
If you can talk to literally any other human being, then congrats, you're already fully capable of talking to a woman.
Are we all agreed that strombad is the arrogant, a-hole friend of a friend at a party that has to dominate all conversations with his opinion and everybody else rolls their eyes at as soon as he opens his mouth. You remind so much of my sister in-law it is scary. I don't hold her opinion in high regard either.
