How Drunk have you been?

[jd456]

During my sophomore year of college, I was getting ready to go out w/ some friends when I got into an argument w/ the girl I was seeing. So while we were pregaming, I sneaked about 4 or 5 shots of rum when no one was looking because I thought it would help me calm down. I get to the party and they're serving jungle juice w/ everclear. I didn't taste it so I had quite a few cups. There was a long line to play beer pong and by the time we finally got our turn, they were out of jungle juice. So some guy cuts in front of us w/ 2 bottles of beer and tells me I can't play w/o a drink. Apparently, we got into a heated argument and I stole his beer and told him to follow me outside if he wants it back. As I'm running my mouth, I manage to fall down the stairs and I bust my forehead open. My friends find me and walk me back home but at this point I'm looking to go w/ anyone. They told me I yelled at a cop down the street and challenged him. Somehow I got back to my dorm w/o getting arrested or beat up, but I woke up covered in blood (from the stairs) w/ no recollection of most of that night. As someone who is not really an aggressive person, it definitely wasn't my finest hour.

[flamesrule14]

Drunk stories are the best.

The worst I ever got was probably my safe grad for high school. I was still 17 as I had a late birthday and I was definitely a lightweight. Anyways get on the bus to drive to the secret location and I just start chugging my 26 of Fireball Whisky. Get to this location start having a couple beers and I maybe lasted an hour. I was the first person to be escorted home. I was high fiving everybody, high fiving porta potties, trying to jump over the fire and overall just being a drunken mess. As I was getting escorted home decided to ask just about every female volunteer to have sex with me. Puked pretty much everywhere. The field where the party was, vehicles that drove me home and just about every room in my house. Still to this day can't drink Fireball. Truthfully this night was probably my high school legacy. Being a pretty quiet shy guy everyone seems to see me as the drunken idiot at safe grad.

[keratosis]

Originally Posted by Minnie

I've never been drunk in my life. I've gotten to where I feel slightly buzzy but out and out drunk? Never happened.

Then explain the pictures.

Sent from my tablet, while drinking swill.

[Cheerio]

In half an hour I drank a 26 of absolut, and 2 shots of 151, woke up in a hospital in edmonton with puke covered clothes. Usually a mickey is enough to get me right dickered so that was a bad night.

[Bill Bumface]

It's not my story, and it's got nothing on most of these, but we had a buddy in University who went to the Den on Thursday night and woke up the next day in the hospital, completely damaged/beat up. He has no idea what happened. Campus security found him on the ground outside the Engineering building. His parents who seemed like traditional strict Chinese parents from what I remember got the call to come collect him from the hospital. His face was a mess. He still has no idea what happened after about 9pm that night. Pretty impressive.

[Coach]

During university I was coming home from a buddies place after a party. I had tried hash for the first time and was really drunk prior to doing so.

I made it through the party ok and some kind ladies offered me a ride home, even though I was walking distance. As soon as I stepped out of their car by my place I puked in the bushes by the sidewalk. Then stumbled my way down to my basement suite. I didn't recall any of this until the next morning. I woke up and saw a wet spot on my floor. My first inclination was that my roommates cat got into my room during the night, but wait, that spot is way to big for a cat. Did I spill water? I leaned down to smell it. Yes, that was urine and it all came back to me.

After stumbling down the stairs, I walked right past our bathroom, into my room and proceeded to whip it out and gloriously pee in the middle of my floor. this was not an accident. I did it fully knowing what I was doing. I guess the bathroom was just too far. Or maybe I thought I was still outside. My next purchase was Oxyclean.

[Coach]

Another one:

Me and some buddies were having a 2 beer/period time at the Dome. It was a friends birthday so we went out after and ran into some other friends who kept loading us up on jager bombs. So I was sufficiently cut. A friend comes over with this girl. My friend had told me about this girl before and also about her 4 hot sisters. So he introduces me to her and I say "Ohhhh you're the one with all the sisters that my friend wants to f***!" Needless to say, my friend did not get lucky and I forever have a stigma as a terrible wingman.

Disclaimer: My recollection is that I said "Ohh you're the one with the hot sisters" while not much better, would have definitely been a less vulgar way to go. But I have had enough witnesses tell me what I said that I must accept the truth.

[edmontonice]

As a 16 year old on a school trip at the Banff center. Someone booted for me and a friend. I decided to sprint down a hill, slipped and blacked out momentarily. Woke up on my back with my leg in front of my face, which I shoved away then screamed....I had broken my femur.

My friend ran up behind me having witnessed the whole thing: "your leg was bent all funny!"

[Pacem]

I have a breathalyzer at work. Took it out one night got up to .39x IIRC. Didn't blow at the end of the night, so who knows how high I would have got. I kinda remember blowing while gambling at the casino. Casino security is so awesome so long as your losing money.

Myself and a fellow co-worker see who blows the highest in the morning at work after a long night. So far the highest I have blown in the AM is a .077 with him not being to far behind at a .076. The hangover kicked in by like 2pm that day and it was bad.

[Ark2]

Originally Posted by Pacem

I have a breathalyzer at work. Took it out one night got up to .39x IIRC. Didn't blow at the end of the night, so who knows how high I would have got. I kinda remember blowing while gambling at the casino. Casino security is so awesome so long as your losing money.

Myself and a fellow co-worker see who blows the highest in the morning at work after a long night. So far the highest I have blown in the AM is a .077 with him not being to far behind at a .076. The hangover kicked in by like 2pm that day and it was bad.

Those breathalyzers are evil. They make competitive drinking even more competitive. The last time I used mine, I got so drunk that I blacked out and wasn't able to use it until the next morning when I woke up. Approximately 12 hours after when I figured my last drink would have been, I blew a 0.19. After that, I pulled the batteries out of the breathalyzer and buried it in a junk drawer.

[Senator Clay Davis]

Broncos Director of Player Personel Tom Heckert blew a 0.162....7 hours after getting arrested for DUI. Thats gotta put him in the 0.3+ range at the time of arrest, which means he might have been in the 0.4 range at some point. Good lord.

[polak]

I slammed into a wall sledding down the tbar hill in Kimberly. I wasn't ridiculously drunk but I'm 99% sure I would've been in a lot more pain if it hadn't been for my boozing when I decided to go down the entire hill on a saucer and not bail which slammed me into the stone wall at a very decent clip. I broke the bamboo fence poles before the wall. Then again, I probably would've been smart enough to bail before the wall if it weren't for the drinking...

The stupid things we do when we're drunk.

[SeeBass]

Originally Posted by gargamel

On the night of my last law school exam, a loaded classmate rented out a bar and pre-paid a $10,000 bar tab. He kept telling everyone that we needed to drink more for him to get his money's worth, so I was happy to oblige, but that much alcohol and a week's worth of studying-induced sleep deprivation was a bad combination.

I woke up the next morning in my bathtub wearing a girl's purse as a necklace, but there was no sign of the girl or my wallet. Thankfully a cop called me later that day to tell me that he'd found my wallet, but he asked if I remembered where I'd left it. I said I was pretty sure I'd lost it during my cab ride home the previous night. The cop laughed and told me that wasn't a taxi; it was a police car, but I had told him that he was the best cabbie ever. I guess I left me wallet there when I'd gotten it out to pay my fare.

When I went to the police station to pick up my wallet, the officer shouted, "that's the guy I was telling you about" to his fellow cops and pointed at me. They all laughed. I've never felt such pride and shame at the same time, but it turned out to be a pretty good night, at least for me. Not so much for the girl who'd entrusted me with her purse at the bar only to have me walk off to hail a police car, causing her to spend the night sleeping in the vestibule of her building.

You probably crapped on the floor at MacDonlds too

[Hatter]

On my 18th birthday, I went to a house party where about 6 of us attempted to work our way through 3 2-6's of 151. Being the intelligent kids that we were, we made sure to chase down the near volcanic heat of 151 shots with cans of Sprite. As a prank, one of my friends decided to fill an empty Sprite can with more 151, and handed it to me to chase my shot with.

After two deep drinks of my "Sprite", I immediately voided the contents of my stomach all over his kitchen floor, in what I have since decided was entirely karma, as I almost never vomit.

Later that evening, after switching to beer, I went on the world's briefest crime spree, deciding to liberate every "no smoking" sign from his apartment building, for (I presume) some sort of collage to put in my parents house. I assume another building resident called the police to report my brazen thefts, and shut down the party.

Fortunately for me, one of the police officers to arrive on the scene was a friend of my dad's, and took me home rather than arresting me.

I don't remember the ride home, but I have a vague recollection of my dad carrying me downstairs fireman style when I got home. I also had to replace my sheets, as I pissed myself at some point during the night.

Haven't drank like that since.

[blankall]

Only started getting "blackout" drunk recently. Think it coincides with my vastly increased intake of Whiskey.

A few months ago, a female friend of mine was nice enough to give me and a full car full of other drunks a ride home. The directions invovled taking 1 right turn. Apparently, I asked her to take a right, blacked out, then asked her to take a right again, blacked out, and asked her to take another right.

Needless to say, after about 30 minutes of driving we ended up back on the street the party was at. I then proceeded to ask her to take another right....she was not happy.

[Phaneufenstein]

Circa 2009

I was out on 17th with friends and a girl I was seeing at the time.
Had great fun and was severely drunk by the end of the night.
The plan was to go to her place after, as she lived within walking distance.
I don't remember getting there, but the next thing I knew, I wake up from a hard slap on my naked bottom.
I'm standing in darkness, in what I later realized was her walk-in closet in her bedroom with my penis in-hand.
She's yelling at me, very much upset.
To which I say: "WTF are you slapping me for"?
and she says: "You're pissing all over my clothes!"

Which I was.

It took her some time to calm down and she later explained how I couldn't find the door to the hallway to go to the washroom in my drunken sleep-walking state.

[bradster57]

Originally Posted by Ark2

Those breathalyzers are evil. They make competitive drinking even more competitive. The last time I used mine, I got so drunk that I blacked out and wasn't able to use it until the next morning when I woke up. Approximately 12 hours after when I figured my last drink would have been, I blew a 0.19. After that, I pulled the batteries out of the breathalyzer and buried it in a junk drawer.

I've never even thought about this before. If I go out on a bender and then drag myself to work the next morning, it's still possible I could get a DUI? Even 12 hours after my last drink? If so they should do 7AM Checkstops during the Stampede.

[FireFly]

Originally Posted by MattyC

During university I was coming home from a buddies place after a party. I had tried hash for the first time and was really drunk prior to doing so.

I made it through the party ok and some kind ladies offered me a ride home, even though I was walking distance. As soon as I stepped out of their car by my place I puked in the bushes by the sidewalk. Then stumbled my way down to my basement suite. I didn't recall any of this until the next morning. I woke up and saw a wet spot on my floor. My first inclination was that my roommates cat got into my room during the night, but wait, that spot is way to big for a cat. Did I spill water? I leaned down to smell it. Yes, that was urine and it all came back to me.

After stumbling down the stairs, I walked right past our bathroom, into my room and proceeded to whip it out and gloriously pee in the middle of my floor. this was not an accident. I did it fully knowing what I was doing. I guess the bathroom was just too far. Or maybe I thought I was still outside. My next purchase was Oxyclean.

This. When I'm blackout drunk, I pee on my floor. Or more accurately, on stuff that's on my floor. I've peed on paperwork and clothes. Literally, 10 steps from the toilet.

[Robotic]

When I was staying in a hostel, some guy was so drunk he pissed the bed from the top bunk. The guy on the bottom bunk wasn't to happy waking up to a golden shower.

[Jets4Life]

Back when I used to drink a lot, and had a bit of a problem with the sauce, I used to hide it, and went to seedy bars that I was sure nobody would recognize me at (mainly 90% Aboriginal bars on Main Street). I got so drunk, I urinated beside a ugly looking Native hooker standing on Main, and proceeded to get into an argument with her pimp. Next thing you know, 3 Indian gang members were fighting me. I blacked out, and woke up, immediately checked my wallet. Amazed that it still had all my ID and $60 cash, I called a cab, only to tell me my head was split open. So on his advice, I checked into the nearest hospital, and got stitched up.

Now I don't drink.