Tattoo as a deal-breaker?

[Yakbutter]

The idea of breaking up with someone because, "They got a tattoo even though she knew I don't like them." Sort of screams, "The world revolves around me."

She obviously likes tattoos and she gets some enjoyment out of them, How does your preference factor into this at all? Let her do what she wants.

[ken0042]

Originally Posted by Yakbutter

How does your preference factor into this at all?

She is doing something to herself that will cause him to see her as being far less attractive. Looks may not be the single most important thing in a relationship, but there does need to be physical attraction.

It's not like she got into a car accident and now has a scar; she intentionally did something to make her less attractive.

[Ark2]

Originally Posted by longsuffering

Or maybe she thought you wouldn't try to control what she put on her body.

Have you thought about asking her to wear an abaya?

Don't get me wrong. You have the right to end the relationship if the tattoos are a dealbreaker for you but you don't have the right to exercise control over her body.

Good lord, you're annoying

[4X4]

Originally Posted by Yakbutter

The idea of breaking up with someone because, "They got a tattoo even though she knew I don't like them." Sort of screams, "The world revolves around me."

She obviously likes tattoos and she gets some enjoyment out of them, How does your preference factor into this at all? Let her do what she wants.

Would you say the same thing if what she wants to do is eat chips for dinner every night, and the result is morbid obesity? Who are you to judge what someone else finds attractive? Tattoos are a turn off for this guy. Hang him!

Is it really so ridiculous? I once dumped a chick because she cut off her awesome hair and went for the dyke spike. WTF? Major turn off. Sorry. Is that me trying to control her, or am I just attracted to girly girls with long hair?

And lol @ longsuffering for trying to work in the 'control over her body' along with the abaya.
edit, damn, beaten by Ark

[SebC]

Originally Posted by Muta

I love creative tattoos on girls. Too bad my current girl doesn't have one. I am dissapoint.

Trade. Problem solved!

Personally, I'm not a fan of tattoos, but they're not a deal-breaker.

[Red Potato Standing By]

Meh, not superficial, but considering she had it planned before you got together, was kind of stupid starting the relationship in the first place. She maybe figured in the back of her head if you knew going into the relationship that she was going to do what she already had planned ,even though you have said you didn't like it,you still choosing to go out with her implied you could live with it.

[calgaryred]

Originally Posted by Zethrynn

Meh, not superficial, but considering she had it planned before you got together, was kind of stupid starting the relationship in the first place. She maybe figured in the back of her head if you knew going into the relationship that she was going to do what she already had planned ,even though you have said you didn't like it,you still choosing to go out with her implied you could live with it.

Have to agree there I can live with a lot but I admit tattoos are not for me, if it was like something small and petite and not an eye sore i could deal with it but something that i couldnt avoid seeing ya thats a deal breaker. In my relationships past that was something well known would be a deal breaker for me. She wants something like that thats cool but im not the right guy for her cause its not my taste, as would be for some if i grew facial hair had long hair had a ear pierced, was bald or wore certain clothes.

Sounds like she really didnt know your limits or you didnt really know her enough to know what was truly important to her, cause your constant disproval of her tattoos isnt going to change the amount she will get or the size they will be, or where she will put them, so its decision time.

[Buff]

A tattoo wouldn't be a deal breaker for me if it were done right. I'm just not a fan of tattoos, I just don't understand them. So, a tattoo wouldn't break the deal but it could be a strong factor in how attractive I think she is. Kind of like somebody who smokes. People find a smoker to be a turnoff too. So you think a person is attractive and you want to get to know her and you see the tattoo and then you either choose to:
a) get to know her anyway, there is something about her that can make that tattoo tollerable
b) forget about it, that tattoo isn't doing anything for her.

Whether I pursue a girl if she has a tattoo or not is moot since I've been married for over 11 years and was with her for 6 years prior to that.

[Yakbutter]

Originally Posted by 4X4

Would you say the same thing if what she wants to do is eat chips for dinner every night, and the result is morbid obesity? Who are you to judge what someone else finds attractive? Tattoos are a turn off for this guy. Hang him!

Is it really so ridiculous? I once dumped a chick because she cut off her awesome hair and went for the dyke spike. WTF? Major turn off. Sorry. Is that me trying to control her, or am I just attracted to girly girls with long hair?

And lol @ longsuffering for trying to work in the 'control over her body' along with the abaya.
edit, damn, beaten by Ark

I don't see the similarity between having some ink on your arm and purposlfully turning yourself into a fat slob. Maybe if she decides to tattoo a swatstikka on her face or something, but really it's a tattoo on her fore arm. Not a good analogy really.

As for breaking up with a girlfriend because you didn't like her new haircut... Ya that is kind of douchy. What would young think if a girlfriend did that to you? "Sorry gotta break up I don't like your haircut..."

Obviously people are allowed to like what they like, but to make ultimatums over superficial stuff like tattoos and hair. bizarre

[Euro Flame]

If you started to ask yourself that question,well then its time to go separate ways.

[JohnnyB]

Originally Posted by schteve_d

No, in all fairness to her she was planning this trip and the tattoo before we were together but we did know each other prior to our being in a relationship together

We have talked about it for almost as long as we have been together and I was never shy about telling her that I really wished she wouldn't do it. She was always intent on doing it and we even came to joke about it.

I really think that she thought I would "let it go" as I have her other tattoos but like I said, this one is different.

In all seriousness, if I were asked advice by a friend whose girlfriend of six months was upset about him getting a tattoo and had said something along the lines of "It would be ok if you were planning it before we were together, but it's not ok after starting the relationship" I would be telling him he was dating a nut job and that he should be pleased to get out of the situation before she starts trying to tell him how to live other parts of his life. You're that nut job girl in this situation.

If it's really a big deal to you, just end it. Don't expect someone to change what they do with their body for you after six months of dating, especially given the fact that what she wants to do isn't harmful or unhealthy and is a habit she already had when you started dating her. If you're going to be the nut job, at least exit gracefully with a clean break up.

Edit: Sorry, misread your post a little. I see you're saying the fact it was pre-planned makes it a little better on her side. In reality, whether it was pre-planned or not, you're still the one acting like a nut job. You've been dating six months and you have no reasonable grounds upon which to expect her to change what she does with her body for you. If you can't accept it, exit gracefully by explaining how nuts you are and that you just can't hack it.

[BBQorMILDEW]

I feel like ending it with a girl I'm seeing, based solely on the fact that she has a stupid dog.

[burn_this_city]

Tattoos shouldn't be a deal breaker on their own, but judging by the quality of the tattoo this girl got I can't blame you.

I can't help but look at someone funny when they have a collection of meaningless phrases and symbols permanently plastered to their body. I think for the majority, it's a regrettable phase they go through. With the popularity of them these days, someone is going to make a fortune in the removal business. I recently worked with an extremely attractive girl who was covered in them and she is now trying to get a bunch removed, kind of sad really.

[SeeBass]

Originally Posted by schteve_d

No, in all fairness to her she was planning this trip and the tattoo before we were together but we did know each other prior to our being in a relationship together

We have talked about it for almost as long as we have been together and I was never shy about telling her that I really wished she wouldn't do it. She was always intent on doing it and we even came to joke about it.

I really think that she thought I would "let it go" as I have her other tattoos but like I said, this one is different.

Ok put it this way then...

She comes back from Kelowna and tells you that she was going to get that tattoo but she decided to think about it cause you really don't like them.
This shows you that she is thinking of you in the future.

Now this is the kind of relationship you should be in.

[NBC]

Originally Posted by Cuz

Yup, and I married her

Mine too.

[Bmuzyka]

I can't stand the fad of people getting neck tattoos, or girls getting one behind the ear. Nothing says White Trash like a tattoo above the shoulder.

[Cuz]

Originally Posted by Bmuzyka

I can't stand the fad of people getting neck tattoos, or girls getting one behind the ear. Nothing says White Trash like a tattoo above the shoulder.

No no no, nothing says white trash like a boob tattoo

[Bmuzyka]

Originally Posted by Cuz

No no no, nothing says white trash like a boob tattoo

I think the behind the neck tattoo is the new boob tattoo lol

Also I was looking at a friend's pictures on facebook, and look what I found in her kitchen?

[meanmachine13]

Originally Posted by ken0042

She is doing something to herself that will cause him to see her as being far less attractive. Looks may not be the single most important thing in a relationship, but there does need to be physical attraction.

It's not like she got into a car accident and now has a scar; she intentionally did something to make her less attractive.

She probably doesnt think that it makes her look less attractive. In her eyes, she probably likes the look of it or she wouldnt have it on her arm.

I give her props. She is staying true to herself and is not molding herself to be exactly what her bf of 6 months wants her to be.

[stang]

Originally Posted by Bmuzyka

I think the behind the neck tattoo is the new boob tattoo lol

Also I was looking at a friend's pictures on facebook, and look what I found in her kitchen?

No visible tattoos.... Pass