Things your siblings did to you and vice versa

[dissentowner]

Share your stories of sibling wars here.
I have one sister, four years older than me and we spent our childhood at war.
When I was a toddler my mom would tell me if I touched my "doo doo" the Super Chicken would come and peck it off. I was freakin petrified this would happen and my sister borrowed this chicken halloween costume from one of her friends and waited until I was peeing one day and burst into the bathroom making a loud "bwaking" noise. I believe that experience took 10 years off my life. Every Sunday we would go to my grandparents for supper and my parents in their infinite wisdom seated her to the left of me and I am left handed and she is right handed so we would bang arms while eating. One day she was being particularily mouthy and I stabbed her hand with my fork. Another time we were both grounded and had to clean the house and she asked me to come see something. I went over and she sprayed me in the eyes with Windex. That sucked. The best time I got her was when I was 11 and she was 15. It was her birthday and she was having a party in the basement watching a Friday The Thirteenth marathon. Earlier in the day my best friend and I had gotten a set of his dads old work coveralls, old work gloves, and boots. My parents had this styrofoam head and I had an old style plastic toy hockey mask. We put our Jason together, stuffing him with clothes and tying the boots and gloves on. We mounted the head with hockey mask attached and then swiped some of my mothers red nail polish to put some blood on the mask. We his him in my room and waited for the party to commence. It was an all evening sleepover so we had to wait until it got dark. We took Jason out of my room and tied him to the clothesline post out back and added the final touch, a butcher knife I swiped from the kitchen. Then we rapped once on the basement window. Nothing. We rapped 3 times. Movie stopped and silence. We stood back and tossed a pebble at the window. Then after about 2 minutes we heard the back door open and low talking voices, my friend and I dashed behind the back bushes. All of the sudden we hear this girls terror filled voice "Jason! Run!" and somebody else screamed too. My parents bedroom window faces the backyard and my dad yanked it open. At this point my friend and I were laughing so hard we couldn't move. My dad came out back, told me it was a nice job but that I was grounded, told my friend to go home, and told my sister and her friends that it was just Laura's little brother being a brat.

[JohnnyB]

Smashed a bag of liquefied dog crap across my back.

[CaptainCrunch]

I had three older sisters so it was terrible. Not only did I take a literally beating from them that I couldn't do anything about, my dad was serious about the no hitting girls thing. But I also ended up in a lot of fights against bigger stronger guys when they treated my sisters wrong.

I had my ear pierced when I was sleeping one night.

I got smashed in the face with a bar stool when I tried to break up a fight between my two sisters.

When I got a particularly horrible report card, I tried to hide it away and my oldest sister rated me out so that she could lesson the blow of her own report card.

In the day and age when a minor could buy smokes if they had a note, I did constant smoke runs to 7-11.

I remember the bullying stopped when I was 13 and lost my temper and put my fist through a window. After a trip to the hospitals for stitches they never bugged me again.

I also nailed one of my sisters best friends for revenge and then told my sister that her friend was totally awesome and a psycho nympho.

[GreenLantern]

Dad told my brother and I we weren't allowed to golf in the back yard. I was around 6, my brother around 8. My job was to set the ball up on the tee for him, his job to whack it with the golf club. After a few successful hits and avoiding being caught I stood a little too close to my brother as he swung through and took the 3 wood in the side of the head. I remember seeing black, clutching the wall, as my senses returned to me I took my hand away from my face and it was covered in blood and I could feel the warm liquid leak down the side of my face. Panic began to set in.

Now instead of worrying about my well being or thinking he might have killed me, all my brother could say as I staggered to the door with blood gushing out of the side of my head was "DON'T TELL DAD, DON'T TELL DAD!!!!"

Needless to say, I told Dad.

[Bmuzyka]

I have 2 older sisters, who are 7 and 6 years older than me. My oldest sister was always known as having a temper, and so my Grandpa would always say she was a cranky kraut (We are Ukrainian, and we generally don't like to be called German, or be confused for Mennonites)
This eventually morphed into me and me other sister claiming Ang was adopted. The worst reaction this got from our parents was the old, "Get along kids!"
My dad worked in Libya for a few years on an Overseas job, and he always had a layover in Frankfurt, Germany. So I wrote a letter from my sister's "Real Parents", Hans and Olga. My dad went along with this, took the letter with him, and mailed it from Germany so it had a German stamp and Postmark.
Needless to say, my sister was not impressed. It took her a few years to be able to laugh about it.

[Rathji]

I kicked through the wall in the back of my sisters closet, and pissed into her garbage can.

[Huntingwhale]

During the WWF Attitude era, all young kids my age wanted to be WWF wrestlers, including me and my brother. One time I suplexed him on his bed and it broke the bed frame. We quickly covered up the damage with his mattress and forgot about it. About 2 years later, my Dad was changing my brothers sheets and absolutely lost it when he saw the broken frame. Since it happened 2 years earlier, me and my brother shrugged it off, which made him more angry.

Before my siblings understood the concept of money, I used to get all of us to put all our allowance money in a pile. We had to close our eyes and pick out the coins we wanted so that we all had an ''equal'' share. I always picked out the loonies and toonies and they got the smaller coins. This allowed me to buy Doom 64.

I cant find the youtube clip, but in the movie Hook there is a scene where Roofio swings the sword at Peter's face and the blade stops about an inch from his face. I used to to this to my brother with my mom's big butcher knife trying to re-enact the scene. Looking back now, I probably could have cut his face in half. Luckily I had great control.

One time I took one of my sister's panties and put it inside my brothers social studies binder and clipped it in. He said when he got to school to open his book to show his teacher his homework, everyone saw the underwear and the whole class laughed at him.

When my youngest sister was born, she was still very young and she had a toy kitchen set (the stove, oven, etc). I used to grab her hand and scream ''hot, hot!!" and put it on the burner. She'd scream and my mom would come running. Since she couldnt' speak yet, my parents had no idea why she was screaming.

When we would take a family outting, I would sit in the back seat of the family's suburban with my youngest sister who was still in a carseat. I would take her hand then put it on my other sister's hair who sat in the row in front of us. She would start pulling it and make my other sister freak out at her and then they would both be crying.

[Erick Estrada]

Originally Posted by CaptainCrunch

I had three older sisters so it was terrible. Not only did I take a literally beating from them that I couldn't do anything about, my dad was serious about the no hitting girls thing. But I also ended up in a lot of fights against bigger stronger guys when they treated my sisters wrong.

I had my ear pierced when I was sleeping one night.

I got smashed in the face with a bar stool when I tried to break up a fight between my two sisters.

When I got a particularly horrible report card, I tried to hide it away and my oldest sister rated me out so that she could lesson the blow of her own report card.

In the day and age when a minor could buy smokes if they had a note, I did constant smoke runs to 7-11.

I remember the bullying stopped when I was 13 and lost my temper and put my fist through a window. After a trip to the hospitals for stitches they never bugged me again.

I also nailed one of my sisters best friends for revenge and then told my sister that her friend was totally awesome and a psycho nympho.

WTF?

[CaptainCrunch]

My one sister got really upset when she found out that my full sized GI Joe action figure with kung fu grip had kidnapped Barbie and locked her in the Joe fortress while giving her pink corvette an appropriate cammo paint job.

[CaptainCrunch]

Originally Posted by Erick Estrada

WTF?

Yup, I woke up in one big hurry when that needle went through my ear lobe.

[Gobsgraham]

Ha. Great thread. I had an older brother and a twin brother so....

I had a dart thrown at my face while I was sleeping that hit me and stuck right between my two eyes.

I had a wire brush (bbq type) imbedded into my back.

My older brother tried to remove from the back seat of my moms car without moving the seat forward.. After breaking my collar-bone on the way out he picked my up and bodyslammed me on the ground.

I had mono for a while and my twin thought it would be funny to pull the lead out of .22 bullets and light them off inches from my head while I was sleeping.

Played tug of war with an Olfa knife. I lost.

Many, more but you get the point.

[the-rasta-masta]

When my sister was about 6 and I was 9, she used to have a cup in our house that only she was allowed to drink out of because it was her "special cup" or something. I grabbed it out of the cupboard one day and filled it with water and went up to her room and leaned against the door and took a big swig out of it, with the biggest ####-eating grin. She thought an appropriate reaction was to throw a a signed hockey puck at my head. Perfect aim, right in the nose. She was the youngest so she had my parents wrapped around her finger at the time and ran to them crying. I got grounded for two weeks and she got nothing. We both still laugh about her swindling skills.

[MrPlow]

I saw sleeping on the beach when my brother dumped a big bucket of cold water on me to wake me up. Of course I was scared half to death and as I was falling out of the beach chair I threw it at him.

Being my old brother, he caught the beach chair and smashed me in the face with it:


Had to get my buddy to drive me to Salmon Arm to get stitches.

It all worked out in the end, as my friend and I met some chicks in the hospital that were housboating so we ended up going up the lake with them for the long weekend! Thanks brother!

[GreenLantern]

Growing up my Mom was in a wheel chair, so if my brother and I did something wrong we could run upstairs to our bedroom and be safe from her wrath. Perfect plan, we can hide up here forever and sneak down at night time for food and supplies!

One problem, my older sister, otherwise known as The Enforcer to us, was about ten years older and did not like it when we exploited Moms handicap. So we'd sit up stairs hiding, Mom would say "Alright, that's fine, I will just wait till your sister gets home." And slowly we would emerge, head down, doing the Charlie Brown walk down the stairs. Better to deal with Mom than the wrath of The Enforcer.

See if your Mom hits you, well that is child abuse, but if your sister breaks a wooden spoon over your ass while spanking you then locks you in the closet? Well that is just siblings being siblings.

[puckluck2]

Originally Posted by fotze

My siblings and parents wrote me fake letters from a pen pal who owned a zoo. His name was Saul Maison.

But seriously, my brother used to tell me that him and my parents only imagined me and I didn't really exist.

No wonder why you turned out the way you did. Those monsters.

[BigBrodieFan]

My brother lit my hair on fire during Christmas Eve 'midnight' mass, while walking down the aisle with our single lit candles. He was behind me and I had hairspray on, and he put the tip of his flame on my long locks and I suddenly felt a POOF like a lighter on a spray can. Some guy covered my head with his coat and surprisingly, all it did was fringe it a bit. I still have an innate fear of fire- like I can't enjoy a campfire because I am always afraid someone will fall in.

[Vulcan]

My older sister and I used to get stuck washing and drying the dishes. I liked to dry because once the dish towel got a little wet, it was great for snapping the towel on her butt. It was an art form that's probably gone now with auto dishwashers. Well that would start the war and she would grab a towel and return the favour. Dishes and knifes would be thrown. Doing the dishes was a crappy job and neither of us liked it so I guess we would take out our frustrations on each other.

One time she said 'trust me' as she put her hands around my neck. I was curious until I passed out. She was a strong girl, she could walk around the house on her hands. I had choke marks around my neck for a week.

[pylon]

My older sister would make me dress up in a tutu and leotards and make me do ballet duets with her. I could do a mean pleigh.

[LIP MAN]

My brother (TheCommodoreAfro) and sister are a bit older than I. They had me eat milk bones when I was a toddler. My sister convinced me to call 911 all the time, although that stopped when the police came to the door. My brother would try out WWF moves, but that was pretty fun!

[GreenLantern]

Originally Posted by LIP MAN

My brother (TheCommodoreAfro) and sister are a bit older than I. They had me eat milk bones when I was a toddler. My sister convinced me to call 911 all the time, although that stopped when the police came to the door. My brother would try out WWF moves, but that was pretty fun!

Not to hijack your story ... but during a "time out" my brother also convinced me to call 911. I was around 6, him 8.. again. I chatted with the girl on the other end, don't remember what she said but she asked a lot of questions. My brother told me to tell her to shut up, so I did, multiple times and then hung up.

My Mom got a phone call back and then put us in the corners to wait while the Cops came to pick us up. Apparently pranking the police got you sent to 'little boys prison'. She told us all about how she was going to give our toys away to other boys since we wouldn't need them anymore.

We pleaded with her for hours, but it was no use, the cops were coming and we were doomed. Finally she said alright, the chief of police has agreed to waive the charges if you apologize to him. So I picked up the phone, talked to the chief for a few minutes, I said sorry and he told me not to do it again.

This was over 20 years ago... a few years back I was going through some of my things and I came across a journal my Mom had written about us as children.

She wrote that the lady phoned back and laughed when my Mom explained the situation, but Mom didn't find it as funny.. so she took matters into her own hands. I lived my whole life assuming I had talked with the Chief, I knew that I wasn't going to jail obviously later on... but I still thought the conversation was real. Turns out she had my Great Uncle phone back and pretend to be the Chief, give us a lot of guff and make us promise not to do it again. Well played.


I feel like I have told this story before on here..