And text of ad in question. Spoilers some possible swears.
Spoiler!
Quote:
3/9-3/10: LYING CHEATING SALE (White Rock, BC)
LAST MINUTE SPONTANEOUS ESTATE SALE. HUSBAND LEFT US FOR A PIECE OF TRASH. SELLING EVERYTHING WHILE HE IS GONE THIS WEEKEND WITH HIS FLOOZIE.
SELLING EVERYTHING AND MOVING HOUSE AFTER 10 YEARS OF MARRIAGE ....THIS IS ONE HUGE ASS ESTATE SALE...WAY TOO MANY ITEMS TO LIST...EVERYTHING! EVERYTHING FROM ART, FURNITURE, BOOKSHELVES, STORAGE CABINETS, HOUSEHOLD APPLIANCES, BOOKS, SPORTS STUFF, BOYS AND GIRLS CLOTHING, ELECTRICAL APPLIANCES, TOYS, GAMES, PING PONG TABLE, FOOSBALL TABLE, GARDEN POTS, SPEAKERS, BUILDING SUPPLIES & LOTS OF TOOLS ETC.
ALSO SELLING HIS FAVORITE RED LEATHER THEATRE SEATING SOFAS. TWO OF THEM WHICH SEAT THREE PEOPLE EACH WITH RECLINER FUNCTION.
LOTS OF TOOLS WHICH HE DIDN'T HAVE A CLUE HOW TO USE. TABLE SAW, SUPER SIZE INDUSTRIAL LADDER, TOOL CABINETS. LAWNMOWER AND YARD TOOLS TOO.
BRAND NEW SLIDING GLASS DOOR THAT HE NEVER GOT INSTALLED IS AVAILABLE TOO.
I WANT THE HOUSE EMPTY ON MONDAY WHEN HE RETURNS BECAUSE THAT WILL BE A SHOCK FOR HIM TO SEE. SO COME PICK OUT WHAT YOU WOULD LIKE SATURDAY AND SUNDAY AT 8 AM.
DON'T COME TOO EARLY (LIKE HE DID) BECAUSE I WILL BE THOUROUGHLY ENJOYING SOME WINE WITH MY GIRLFRIENDS THIS EVENING AS WE CLEAN OUT ALL THIS STUFF AND LIKELY BE NURSING HANGOVERS IN THE MORNING. SO PLEASE SPEAK SOFTLY TO THE LADIES WEARING THE SUNGLASSES: )
THERE ARE NOT ANY OF HIS CLOTHES FOR SALE THOUGH AS WE WILL HAVE ALREADY BURNED THOSE IN THE DRIVEWAY. HOWEVER, YOU CAN SEE THE ASHES OF HIS CLOTHES THAT HE IS GOING TO SEE, FOR NO ADDITIONAL CHARGE.
ESTATE SALE IS CORNER OF MALABAR AVENUE (14TH AVE) AND BERGSTROM STREET (136TH STREET) IN THE BEAUTIFUL CITY OF WHITE ROCK.
ALSO, I AM PUTTING THE HOUSE UP FOR SALE NEXT WEEK TOO, SO IF YOU HAVE ALWAYS WANTED TO LIVE IN THIS BEAUTIFUL CITY, YOU CAN LOOK AT THE HOUSE THIS WEEKEND TOO BEFORE IT HITS THE MARKET. TWO STORY, OCEAN VIEW CORNER HOME NEXT TO SCHOOLS, PARKS AND TWO BLOCKS FROM THE OCEAN. GREAT HOME DESIGNED FOR FUN AND FAMILY, WITH A SEPARATE ENTRANCE DOWNSTAIRS SUITE.
LIFE IS TOO SHORT TO WASTE TIME. GOD PUT MY EYES IN THE FRONT OF MY HEAD FOR A REASON. I AM LOOKING FORWARD TO MOVING FORWARD! SEE YOU TOMORROW AT 8 AM. FIRST COME, FIRST SERVED.
The Following User Says Thank You to First Lady For This Useful Post:
You know the situation: You've spent all day at Ikea battling the crowds, you've picked up your new Flugenlaven, you've dragged the boxes into the house and...
HOLY CRAP!!! Look at ALL those pieces!!! And what the f*** are these screws for? And where do these pins go? And exactly WHAT is the guy in the instructions doing with that hammer?
Why deal with all that frustration when you can let ME do it for you.
I'm one of those people who's freakishly good at putting together Ikea furniture; I've got several pieces in my house (bookcases, desks, tables, night stands, dressers, etc) and none of it has fallen apart yet.
My rate? $35/hr (with a minimum charge for 2 hours) which might sound expensive at first, but think of all the aggravation it'll save you.
I'll come to your home with all the necessary tools, put together your items and position it where you want it.
I'm available weekends to assist you with your assembly (within the Calgary area only).
Need more info...or want to book me? Drop me an email or text (no calls please).
^^^ I love this guys ad. There are several people out there that have made a career out of assembling Ikea furniture. I am also one of those freaks that doesn't have trouble with Ikea instructions. I actually find them quite easy. Anyway carry on.
^^^ I love this guys ad. There are several people out there that have made a career out of assembling Ikea furniture. I am also one of those freaks that doesn't have trouble with Ikea instructions. I actually find them quite easy. Anyway carry on.
__________________
My name is Ozymandias, King of Kings;
Look on my Works, ye Mighty, and despair!
The Following User Says Thank You to CaptainCrunch For This Useful Post:
http://calgary.kijiji.ca/c-community...AdIdZ478712026
" a happy guy here, in ma late twenties, its Fridaz!
if you think we might go along well, then hit me up and
lets explore cowtown. ma ride is all fuel up and ready to roll."
Lost: $3.1 Billion Dollars. Canadian currency, various denominations. Lost sometime between 2001-2013. Last seen with Public Safety Minister Vic Toews. May be in a gazebo in Parry Sound-Muskoka but not sure.
If found, please contact Stephen Harper (613-992-4211), Treasury Board Minister Tony Clement (613-944-7740), or Public Safety Minister Vic Toews (613-992-3128 ). Gift from Canadian taxpayers, great sentimental value
__________________
Quote:
Somewhere Leon Trotsky is an Oilers fan, because who better demonstrates his philosophy of the permanent revolution?
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to OffsideSpecialist For This Useful Post:
Not a funny one... just thought there might be a nerd or two here who might be interested.
Quote:
Date Listed 06-May-13
Price Free
Address Calgary, AB T3A 3W8, Canada
View map Storm Trooper replica kit (full size) never assembled. Ideal for someone interested in models/modeling. Originally cost $800 & pieces are all there.
Pick up in Edgemont. Probably best for someone experienced with modeling/assembly.
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