To move to another city for your GF or not?

[Trojan97]

Originally Posted by MrMastodonFarm

Give Calgary a try, a real try for a year. Calgary is obviously the best bet, for both of you. Her hang ups seem to be typical ignorant small town crap. Calgary has more to offer then anywhere you mentioned. You need to talk to her and see about giving Calgary a go. Tell her not to be twatty and stuck up about it either.

More importantly, film this portion of your talk with her and report back with visual evidence of her response.

[Jbo]

Of course, if she is reading this thread, and checking internet history, we have stumbled into an entire other world of relationship advice...

[Cowperson]

Originally Posted by Hi-Psi

Hey guys,

I have a question for you guys to discuss and provide input for. My GF and I have been together 4.5 years and we are getting to a crossroads and unsure how to proceed.

She feels that I'm being selfish by not compromising and moving to Red Deer but I honestly just can't see what's in that move for me other than being closer to her. While that is important to me, my friends are also very important . . .

Jason

You're valuing your friends more than you value her.

She values a two day a week job more than she values you.

You used to live together, then you made a conscious decision to live apart.

Sounds like youve already passed the crossroads part . . .

Just saying.

Mrs. Cowperson and I married in Northern Alberta, dead centre in the middle of her family and friends. Two years later, I moved to the Calgary area for a new career with the plan she would follow when her contract expired up north. It took 22 months and lots of 6.5 hour drives for both of us, but she eventually showed up and it's been 26 years later. Nowadays, she wouldn't live anywhere else.

Friends come and go and there are always new ones to be made. Time passes. You build a new life.

Not sure if that helps or not.

Cowperson

[cral12]

Wait for the next edition of "Ask Rhett" on the Fan960 morning show - sound advice I'm sure you'll receive.
***
It's how I ended up in Calgary (GF, not Rhett...lol)

[Deegee]

Originally Posted by corporatejay

"If you love her, you both should be unhappy".

Olds has been the best place for our family, it's a great town. Lots of important amenities, good jobs, no commute, and an awesome minor hockey program for our son.

[Hatter]

I'll play devils advocate on this one. Of course your situation with your loved one may turn out different.

My ex-girlfriend moved for work and I decided to stay put. I've regretted it ever since.

Your mileage may vary.

[Flames in 07]

Neither of you are ready for the next step. You both have stuff you prefer, over each other.

You know you are in the right relationship that will last as long as you hope when you BOTH say you are willing to move, and you approach the decision from there.

[corporatejay]

Originally Posted by Deegee

Olds has been the best place for our family, it's a great town. Lots of important amenities, good jobs, no commute, and an awesome minor hockey program for our son.

I was referring more the fact that it's a compromise that no one seems to want. Also, if he doesn't think Red Deer has the amenities he's looking for, Olds and the BP's isn't going to be nearly enough.

[Zarley]

Originally Posted by Northendzone

I'll never understand the whole I don't want to raise kids in the city line of thinking, cause last I checked country kids still do dope and get in trouble.

Yeah I'll never get this. I mainly grew up in Calgary, but spent a lot of time in Sylvan Lake as well. Sylvan was by far worse for drugs and general bad influences on a kid. I think it's the mentality of being "stuck" in a small town combined with the lack of things to do. Also, I think the city offers far more in terms of educational pursuits and recreational activities for a kid.

[topfiverecords]

What about moving to Red Deer on condition that it's only for 1 year, and then she has to look for an EMT position in/near Calgary.

[Jbo]

Originally Posted by topfiverecords

What about moving to Red Deer on condition that it's only for 1 year, and then she has to look for an EMT position in/near Calgary.

Sounds like a trap.

[Minnie]

Sounds like this relationship has been dying for a while and you both keep giving it a bit of CPR here and there, just enough to keep it gasping. It doesn't sound like it gives enough to either of you. Perhaps it's just time to call it a day and move on, quit flogging a dead horse?

[Hi-Psi]

Originally Posted by fotze

What is your job?

I'm also an EMT but at this point I work out of town for it 3 weeks at a time. I do plan to take a job closer to home though once we settle down.

[gargamel]

If she's working 48 hour shifts once a week, why not just use that time to make the short drive from Red Deer to Calgary to hang out with your friends? If that's too much of an inconvenience to be with the woman you love, then I suspect you aren't as sure about her as you claim to be.

[Table 5]

I'm pretty sure I would refuse a move to Red Deer too. I don't mind small towns if there's some sort of benefit (say scenery or atmosphere), but that places seems like such a gray, soul-sucking, non-entity of a town....a bigger Airdrie. She might be the one for you, but her being afraid of cities is not a good reason to hide in the middle of nowhere for the rest of your life.

[Sliver]

Dead Rear is a dead end. Don't do it, dude. I think if there's a chance to keep the relationship you'll have to sell her on Calgary.

What you have to do is pick an awesome area of the city and pretend it's your own small town. Take Lake Bonavista as an example (my wife and I moved here after putting the whole world on the table - we were literally willing to move anywhere). You can walk to a lake for boating, fishing and swimming in the summer; skating, sledding, ice fishing in the winter. There is a Safeway, doctor, dentist, two drug stores, pubs, multiple schools, restaurants, etc. in the community. The LRT goes into the community. South Centre Mall is across the street. Leisure Centre across the street. You can literally plant your life in the community as though it's the best small town on earth and never leave. There is even a fire station she could apply at. She is looking at Calgary as one big scary entity, but you can make it as small as you want if you pick the right community (Lake Bonavista is just an example, I'm sure there is a second and third best you could consider if you'd rather live somewhere else).

If she can't see that logic, I think it's time to move on. There are logical women out there, but you're in for a life of misery IMO if you land an illogical one that can't make smart decisions based on the best move for you as a family. Those chicks are always duds.

[FlamesAddiction]

Originally Posted by Handsome B. Wonderful

My completely Calgary-biased, male-biased point of view: I'm sure she can get a better job than working 2 days a week in Wetaskiwin.

But cars cost less.

[Hevishot]

Have you considered Innsifail? That way you are away from Dead Rear yet still an hour out of Calgary?

[Misterpants]

How has no one asked for pics yet?It sounds like in order for you two to come to an agreement, you will have to do some life mapping. Ask yourself what situation you want in 1, 2, 5, 10 years. If kids factor into the equation, that will HUGELY affect your/her career plans. If both of you can come to agree on a timeline of where you would like to be for these next stages of your life, you should be golden. Be specific and communicate ALL of your wants and needs.

[undercoverbrother]

Post her picture, then we can make an informed decision......