Teacher Charged with Sex Assault

[undercoverbrother]

Originally Posted by gargamel

If there's an imbalance of power, the person taking advantage of that imbalance is wrong, regardless of gender.

thank you

[DuffMan]

Originally Posted by East Coast Flame

Back in college there was this girl who was quite aggressive towards me and tried to hook up with me several times, I always said no and nothing ever happened. One night I was staggering drunk at the bar. I could barely talk and I threw up on myself and the bouncers threw me in a cab. She hopped in the cab with me, got me home, got me naked and proceeded to get on top of me and have sex with me. My roommate and the RA broke into the room and found me passed out naked with her naked on top of me.

Now, do you consider that rape? Because I sure do, and the Police and university sure agreed with me as she was kicked out of school and charged.

Hi 5 right up until that last paragraph

[polak]

Originally Posted by gargamel

If both (or all) participants are consenting and on equal footing, then it's none of our business. A high number of sexual partners shouldn't make a man more of a man or a woman less of a woman. If there's an imbalance of power, though, the person taking advantage of that imbalance is wrong, regardless of gender.

Thats great in theory but it's simply not how the world works. Fact of the matter is most men react differently to sex and a consensual male student - female teacher relationship is rarely going to have any sort of long term negative consequences that don't exist with any other type of sex.

I'd wager that 99% of the time, it's a victimless crime.

Were as with a consensual female student - male teacher relationship, societal factors put the student at risk.

Frankly though, I think if there isn't any sort of abuse of power and every one invloved is above the age of consent, the teacher shouldn't face anything more then losing their job. Just like any company that has policies in place regarding dating.

Technically a 17 year old dating a 20 year old cop is the exact same thing... If it was 100% consensual is it viewed as an abuse of power?

[undercoverbrother]

Originally Posted by polak

Thats great in theory but it's simply not how the world works. Fact of the matter is most men react differently to sex and a consensual male student - female teacher relationship is rarely going to have any sort of long term negative consequences that don't exist with any other type of sex.

I'd wager that 99% of the time, it's a victimless crime.

So to be clear a 40 yr old having sex with an underage 14 yr old is a victimless crime?

[polak]

Originally Posted by undercoverbrother

So to be clear a 40 yr old having sex with an underage 14 yr old is a victimless crime?

No. If you read my earlier posts I conceded that since the age of consent was raised to 16, I agree that any relationship with a 14 year old, regardless of consent is off limits.

a 40 year old having consensual sex with a 16 year old, im my mind, is a victimless crime. If the law wants to protect females because they may face more persecution and be more easily persuaded or whatever the claim is, then okay, but I don't see how a 16 year old, who will face almost no consequences, having consensual sex with his 40 year old female teacher should cost someone jail time.

[Red Potato Standing By]

No only if the 40 yr old is a female. Cause if he didn't want it he wouldn't get it up.

[Hemi-Cuda]

Originally Posted by FlamesAddiction

I'll put myself out there. I have only told a few people about this in my whole life and now I am posting it on the internet.. I was molested by my female babysitter from the age of like 8 to 13, and then it carried on a little after. I have had a few mental health issues that I attribute to that abuse. (And if anyone is wondering, she was 16 when it started and was actually pretty and popular in highschool).

For one thing, it wasn't consentual. If I didn't comply, I wouldn't be allowed to stay up or play with other kids. To be honest, I did enjoy it sometimes, but not in the same way you do when you are an adult, and most of the time I felt forced. Then there was the fact that my sibling found out and would constantly threaten to tell on me. Even though in hindsite, I know that I was innocent, it didn't feel that way at the time. I lived under constant fear of being found out and it was very stressful.

Some of the negative affects in my life that I attribute to are things like having an appetite for risky behaviour. I don't think too many guys here know what it is like to be completely bored of conventional sex by the time you ar 14. I never really had the "special" first time and got involved in some bad practices to try and satisfy my sexual needs when I got older. This led to a lot of shame, self-loathing and pain on people I care about. and I have had to go to therapy to deal with the social anxiety I have developed as a result of things in my childhood relating to the abuse.

this is different though, she forced you to do acts you didn't want to before you had even matured physically enough to understand them. in a case like this, hell yes the woman should be charged and sent to jail for a long time. but in all these cases of teenage boys hooking up with teachers in high school, i haven't seen any kind of coercion being mentioned. they have reached the point where they understand what their hormones are trying to tell them, so if a teacher comes on to them and they agree and they bang, i don't equate that to the same thing as actual child abuse

i also feel the same if it's a male teacher and the female student initiates (probably happens more often than the female teacher/male student combo, as this #### happens all the time and doesn't get reported). sure the teacher used poor judgement and should be fired, but he didn't force anything and should not be looked upon the same as a pedophile. things change when the male teacher is the one initiating, and that's simply due to the base trait of male dominance

[Red Potato Standing By]

Originally Posted by Hemi-Cuda

this is different though, she forced you to do acts you didn't want to before you had even matured physically enough to understand them. in a case like this, hell yes the woman should be charged and sent to jail for a long time. but in all these cases of teenage boys hooking up with teachers in high school, i haven't seen any kind of coercion being mentioned. they have reached the point where they understand what their hormones are trying to tell them, so if a teacher comes on to them and they agree and they bang, i don't equate that to the same thing as actual child abuse

i also feel the same if it's a male teacher and the female student initiates (probably happens more often than the female teacher/male student combo, as this #### happens all the time and doesn't get reported). sure the teacher used poor judgement and should be fired, but he didn't force anything and should not be looked upon the same as a pedophile. things change when the male teacher is the one initiating, and that's simply due to the base trait of male dominance

But it shouldn't matter if the teacher is male or female if they are the ones initiating it. Some females can be pretty dominate.

[Hemi-Cuda]

Originally Posted by Zethrynn

But it shouldn't matter if the teacher is male or female if they are the ones initiating it. Some females can be pretty dominate.

but as has been mentioned, at that age the way teenage girls and boys view sex is very different. a dominant adult male could give a girl severe social and relationship problems later in life. a dominant female might give a teenage boy some fond memories to look back on

EDIT: and to be clear by dominant i mean initiating only. if there's any kind of force or coercion involved with either gender then by all means it should be full sexual assault

[Red Potato Standing By]

You may be right, but there is a lot of coulds and mights. Men are also on the most part have it engrained in there brains that if they were to complain or have any bad emotions they would be viewed as unmanly. Geez how many manly men do you see would admit to being taken advantage by a woman?

[polak]

Originally Posted by Zethrynn

You may be right, but there is a lot of coulds and mights. Men are also on the most part have it engrained in there brains that if they were to complain or have any bad emotions they would be viewed as unmanly. Geez how many manly men do you see would admit to being raped by a woman?

Well now we're getting into hypotheticals.
Maybe sex should be outlawed all together cause men might be scared to come out if they were raped.

[_Q_]

Originally Posted by Minnie

You sound suspiciously like the Republican politicos in the US who say the following about rape:




Multiple other comments

Originally Posted by Zethrynn

No only if the 40 yr old is a female. Cause if he didn't want it he wouldn't get it up.

I actually do wonder sometimes if you two are males or if you are really sexually immature to realize how male anatomy works.

Here's a scenario to think about. When I was 19, I was at a house party with a few of my friends. Since I had some buddies that were a year or so younger than me, they had some girls there that were of questionable age (maybe in the 17-18 year old range). At one point I got pretty drunk and some girl started making advances towards me. I thought she was pretty nasty and was convinced she was under age. I tried to push her off, but she was pretty aggressive and then tried to get me aroused. Since I didn't want it I just kind of walked away and avoided her for the rest of the night.

Question is. Had I had sex with her, would I have been raping her or would she have been raping me? She was under 18, so under some of your definitions I would have been the rapist. But under some of your definitions she would have been the rapist since we would have had sex that I didn't really want. So which one is it?

I'm also curious to hear from anyone who had consensual sex when they were under age with an over age girl and what their experiences were like. I would like to know how it affected them short term and long term and if they actually feel like it was rape. I'm sure it has happened to some of you guys on CP.

[undercoverbrother]

Originally Posted by _Q_

I actually do wonder sometimes if you two are males or if you are really sexually immature to realize how male anatomy works.

Here's a scenario to think about. When I was 19, I was at a house party with a few of my friends. Since I had some buddies that were a year or so younger than me, they had some girls there that were of questionable age (maybe in the 17-18 year old range). At one point I got pretty drunk and some girl started making advances towards me. I thought she was pretty nasty and was convinced she was under age. I tried to push her off, but she was pretty aggressive and then tried to get me aroused. Since I didn't want it I just kind of walked away and avoided her for the rest of the night.

Question is. Had I had sex with her, would I have been raping her or would she have been raping me? She was under 18, so under some of your definitions I would have been the rapist. But under some of your definitions she would have been the rapist since we would have had sex that I didn't really want. So which one is it?

I'm also curious to hear from anyone who had consensual sex when they were under age with an over age girl and what their experiences were like. I would like to know how it affected them short term and long term and if they actually feel like it was rape. I'm sure it has happened to some of you guys on CP.

I find it interesting that you continue to move the target.

I will set aside the 14 yr age, because I assume you are not in agreement with a 14 yr old having sexual relations with a 40 yr old.

Let's take the age out of this all together.

Is it acceptable for an individual in a power of position to engage in sexual activity with an individual that is within the scope of that "power"?

[Red Potato Standing By]

Originally Posted by polak

Well now we're getting into hypotheticals.
Maybe sex should be outlawed all together cause men might be scared to come out if they were raped.

Hence why I changed it because it was not the word I was meaning. And where did I say sex should be outlawed? I am saying the double standard should be outlawed. Good for the goose good for the gander.

[_Q_]

Originally Posted by undercoverbrother

I find it interesting that you continue to move the target.

I will set aside the 14 yr age, because I assume you are not in agreement with a 14 yr old having sexual relations with a 40 yr old.

Let's take the age out of this all together.

Is it acceptable for an individual in a power of position to engage in sexual activity with an individual that is within the scope of that "power"?

If it's consensual on both sides then it's absolutely OK.

[polak]

Originally Posted by undercoverbrother

Is it acceptable for an individual in a power of position to engage in sexual activity with an individual that is within the scope of that "power"?

A cop is in a position of power.
The prime minister is in a position of power.
Your boss is in a position of power.

Should any of these people face jail time for having consensual sex (lets say dating) with someone that is under their authority? Personally, I don't think so.

Should they face losing that position of power? I'd say it's depends on how direct that power is.

If they use that power to force someone into sex then it's completely different and then they should face legal consequences.

[Red Potato Standing By]

Originally Posted by _Q_

I actually do wonder sometimes if you two are males or if you are really sexually immature to realize how male anatomy works.

Here's a scenario to think about. When I was 19, I was at a house party with a few of my friends. Since I had some buddies that were a year or so younger than me, they had some girls there that were of questionable age (maybe in the 17-18 year old range). At one point I got pretty drunk and some girl started making advances towards me. I thought she was pretty nasty and was convinced she was under age. I tried to push her off, but she was pretty aggressive and then tried to get me aroused. Since I didn't want it I just kind of walked away and avoided her for the rest of the night.

Question is. Had I had sex with her, would I have been raping her or would she have been raping me? She was under 18, so under some of your definitions I would have been the rapist. But under some of your definitions she would have been the rapist since we would have had sex that I didn't really want. So which one is it?

I'm also curious to hear from anyone who had consensual sex when they were under age with an over age girl and what their experiences were like. I would like to know how it affected them short term and long term and if they actually feel like it was rape. I'm sure it has happened to some of you guys on CP.

In your scenario were you in a position of authority?

[SeeBass]

Originally Posted by _Q_

If it's consensual on both sides then it's absolutely OK.

Like a hockey coach and a player perhaps

[_Q_]

Originally Posted by Zethrynn

In your scenario were you in a position of authority?

Why does it matter? I can lie and say yes. Let's say I was her supervisor at McDonald's. So who's raping who in this case?

[Red Potato Standing By]

And I am male and do understand how the anatomy works. I also can say no and still get a hard on.