Another tragic bullying story

[Skootenbeeten]

So the guy who posted her pics is going to just walk away scot free? Welcome to Canada!

[HPLovecraft]

Originally Posted by sclitheroe

Nah, the creep would have stalked and bullied via other means like snail mail, posters, pictures hung in public places she frequented.

This is not a new problem, nor one unique to online social media.

With the click of a mouse button you can humiliate a person in front of hundreds of other people with a great degree of anonymity. You can advertise a compromising photo to an entire school with little to no trouble or effort.

How many times have you heard of someone going outside and hanging posters up of someone over an entire province in order to humiliate them? You think this is possible to do in five minutes on a Friday night? And even if this type of thing was common (it's not, while humiliating people over social media is), it would be a whole lot easier to leave the town and begin anew in another one. Or have authorities become involved. Or parents, as they tend to understand snail mail better than e-mail.

The problem of bullying is not a new problem, nor is it unique to social media, no. However, social media certainly compounds the problem (even exponentially) and has the ability to drive people to drastic decisions far easier and with far less effort than ever before. You simply can't ignore the problem and say it's always been happening without basically sticking your head in the sand. This is something that needs to be taken seriously, not simply dismissed.

[Resolute 14]

Originally Posted by Ducay

Don't doubt that, but c'mon, kid lives in Vancouver and has internet access, life can't be that rough. I know about a billion people who would gladly trade places with her just to be in Canada and have access to school and a roof overhead.
Move out east, stop using the internet, quit going to school and build a teepee all day, go plant trees, there are about a million options to get away from it that are better than the decision she made.

Don't get me wrong, things were obviously bad enough that she did this, but I just don't get how someone can see that as the only option.

I would say you are ignorant. I don't mean that as an insult either, as I would also say you are extremely fortunate to be ignorant in this regard.

[Ducay]

Originally Posted by Resolute 14

I would say you are ignorant. I don't mean that as an insult either, as I would also say you are extremely fortunate to be ignorant in this regard.

And I totally accept this and all the other retorts to my posts.

When I said "I don't understand how...", I literally do not understand, it blows my mind. Like I mentioned, obviously this was her "only" option and was rational at the time, but me, mentally, I just can't get there to comprehend how it at all makes sense.

I lost a buddy to suicide in Grade 5 and ever since Ive never been able to wrap my mind around what could be so bad for a well-off elementary kid to do such a thing.

[flamesfever]

Originally Posted by sclitheroe

Computers are so pervasive this is impossible.

And that gets down to the more fundamental issue, which is this kid was not equipped, AT ALL, to make the right decisions when confronted with what was essentially a sexual predator. The entire thing could just as easily have played out in the playground.

This isn't a story or an issue about "cyber" anything.

Yes, computers are pervasive, however, parental control of children by parents, with regard to internet use, is possible, and I believe essential at younger ages, for the very reason you have outlined.

I believe this is definitely a "cyber" issue. The whole story began in cyberland, and continued in cyberland, even though it covered other areas.

[sclitheroe]

Originally Posted by flamesfever

Yes, computers are pervasive, however, parental control of children by parents, with regard to internet use, is possible, and I believe essential at younger ages, for the very reason you have outlined.

Really eh..so how do you control access to the webcam in someone else's basement? How is that possible?

[arsenal]

Originally Posted by Ducay

I lost a buddy to suicide in Grade 5 and ever since Ive never been able to wrap my mind around what could be so bad for a well-off elementary kid to do such a thing.

It has nothing to do with being well off, or having access to everything. It's a feeling inside, where you feel trapped inside a tiny box and you cannot escape. And outside that box is all the external forces that are keeping you trapped in there. I don't think I can even do justice in words to how it feels.

[flamesfever]

Originally Posted by sclitheroe

Really eh..so how do you control access to the webcam in someone else's basement? How is that possible?

Obviously you can't control what your kids do on the internet at someone else's house. However, you can in your own house, where your kids spend the great majority of their time.

I think your point illustrates how important it is for parents to immerse themselves in their kids life...to teach them right from wrong, to associate with kids who share the same values, to respect the wishes of their parents, etc. etc. etc. I also think many parents are naive when it comes to the potential dangers of cyberland, and will change with time, as stories like this surface.

I think normally most kids will use the internet responsibly. However, there are always going to be a few who don't. Kids who are younger, have mental health and possibly addiction issues are going to be particularly vulnerable to those who use the internet to harm others. And I believe parents should be particularly vigilant in these cases.

[Dion]

Originally Posted by Ducay

And I totally accept this and all the other retorts to my posts.

When I said "I don't understand how...", I literally do not understand, it blows my mind. Like I mentioned, obviously this was her "only" option and was rational at the time, but me, mentally, I just can't get there to comprehend how it at all makes sense.

I lost a buddy to suicide in Grade 5 and ever since Ive never been able to wrap my mind around what could be so bad for a well-off elementary kid to do such a thing.

Suicide is not a matter of choice. The profound depression that motivates most suicides is a disease. This disease causes a level of pain so profound that it twists one’s ability to assess risk, to make good choices, to maintain a sense of future possibilities. When people act out of this depression, they are not exercising free choice. They are falling victim to a disease. This disease is not about logic or self interest. It is about an immediate desire to be dead

[Mean Mr. Mustard]

Originally Posted by Dion

Suicide is not a matter of choice. The profound depression that motivates most suicides is a disease. This disease causes a level of pain so profound that it twists one’s ability to assess risk, to make good choices, to maintain a sense of future possibilities. When people act out of this depression, they are not exercising free choice. They are falling victim to a disease. This disease is not about logic or self interest. It is about an immediate desire to be dead

I agree in part but suicide is a choice - it is obviously an awful choice that people make and for reasons that really they can only understand but it is a choice none the less. To say that people don't have the choice in my opinion makes it a situation in which the people are helpless to the disease/illness of depression, which isn't the case at all. Suicide such as this one is a choice that is made by people who are not thinking logically or rationally and are solving a temporary problem with a permanent solution. The fact is that people always have a choice, not just the people who do suffer from depression but also those that surround them as well, they have the choice to reach out and contact those people who do suffer from depression and who have suicidal ideations.

I understand from reading your posts on the subject that this is a very personal issue for you as well so I mean absolutely no disrespect by these comments by the way and I am not minimizing the impact that depression has on the person because I have seen it myself in family members, friends as well as myself to a certain degree and I know how pervasive it is and how it warps your thoughts into thinking you are worthless.

I actually had a boss force me to write out a list of things about myself I didn't like while I was at work which really upset me a great deal and while I know am strong enough that I would feel confident in telling him to screw off, I will admit now that writing a list for someone of every fault about myself, for someone with already low self confidence really made me think about suicide, just with being tired and not thinking straight. Oddly enough this is the first time that I have mentioned that to anyone and I guess the anonymity of the internet is the only reason that I feel confident in doing so sadly enough.

[puckluck2]

Originally Posted by Dion

Suicide is not a matter of choice. The profound depression that motivates most suicides is a disease. This disease causes a level of pain so profound that it twists one’s ability to assess risk, to make good choices, to maintain a sense of future possibilities. When people act out of this depression, they are not exercising free choice. They are falling victim to a disease. This disease is not about logic or self interest. It is about an immediate desire to be dead

Um why are you ripping off the author of this without quoting or giving credit to him?

[hmmhmmcamo]

Originally Posted by Iginla

Um why are you ripping off the author of this without quoting or giving credit to him?

Um who the f cares?

[OutOfTheCube]

So... as far as I know, Facebook doesn't allow nudity in pictures, and would axe any account featuring it almost immediately. If they (the family/girl) reported the guy as a stalker, and that the images were also of an underage girl, I imagine the police would get involved almost immediately. They take the whole 'child pornography' thing pretty seriously. How did this escalate as far as it did?

[Reanimate]

This is gonna sound cruel. But if you are being harassed on Facebook. Close your account. You can't be tagged or followed any longer.

This girls parents are ####ing tools and sound like they are the exact candidates for a study in why you should have a license to be a parent.

[hmmhmmcamo]

Originally Posted by Reanimate

This is gonna sound cruel. But if you are being harassed on Facebook. Close your account. You can't be tagged or followed any longer.

This girls parents are ####ing tools and sound like they are the exact candidates for a study in why you should have a license to be a parent.

This was the dumbest thing I read on the internet today....well done.

[Reanimate]

Originally Posted by hmmhmmcamo

This was the dumbest thing I read on the internet today....well done.

What's dumb about what i said? She was being harassed on FB. Her parents should not have let her be on it anymore. They failed this poor girl. They are as much to blame as anyone.

[KelVarnsen]

Originally Posted by Reanimate

What's dumb about what i said? She was being harassed on FB. Her parents should not have let her be on it anymore. They failed this poor girl. They are as much to blame as anyone.

How? They moved, changed schools. They tried to help this poor girl out, but sadly were unable.Blaming the parents is a low blow, and you know it.

Blame the mother####er who terrorized her.

[Reanimate]

Originally Posted by KelVarnsen

How? They moved, changed schools. They tried to help this poor girl out, but sadly were unable.Blaming the parents is a low blow, and you know it.

Blame the mother####er who terrorized her.

Posting a picture of an under aged girls chest anywhere is a federal offence. Call the cops.

Changed schools? Really? You think that's the best course of action these irresponsible parents could do? Get real.

[hmmhmmcamo]

Originally Posted by Reanimate

Changed schools? Really? You think that's the best course of action these irresponsible parents could do? Get real.

no you're right...making her close her FB account would have fixed everything

[KelVarnsen]

Originally Posted by Reanimate

Posting a picture of an under aged girls chest anywhere is a federal offence. Call the cops.

Changed schools? Really? You think that's the best course of action these irresponsible parents could do? Get real.

Do you really thinking blaming grieving parents, who are probably already thinking they could have done more is the best strategy here? Because you are wrong, by all accounts these parents tried to help their poor child, and sadly she took her own life. I don't blame her do doing so, or her parents for doing what they felt was best.