Fathers Age Seen as Determining a Baby's Disease Risk

[pepper24]

A good buddy of mine is a Pediatrician and convinced that the spike in autism is due to a new parenting trend called Attached Parenting. It's a controversial method that includes having your kids sleep in your bed well into their infant stage and basically holding them all day. Any sign of crying you hold and comfort the kid. It's a stem off of the helicopter mom, breastfeeding your preschool kid parenting technique.

His thought is that by being held all the time starring at clothing and skin the baby isn't overly stimulated mentally along with the child lacking the independence of exploring on their own which hurts development of the brain during crucial years.

It's an interesting thesis especially as the large spike in autism correlates to when Attached Parenting was introduced in the late 1980's. I'll have to ask him about the male age study next round of beers.

[Danijam]

Originally Posted by Muta

My great uncle Peter was a bachelor for life. Owned his own dental practice, flew an airplane everywhere, always had girlfriends and loved visiting his family. He died a happy man in his 60's.

In his 60s?! Kids or no kids, that seems sad to me.

[GGG]

Originally Posted by pepper24

A good buddy of mine is a Pediatrician and convinced that the spike in autism is due to a new parenting trend called Attached Parenting. It's a controversial method that includes having your kids sleep in your bed well into their infant stage and basically holding them all day. Any sign of crying you hold and comfort the kid. It's a stem off of the helicopter mom, breastfeeding your preschool kid parenting technique.

His thought is that by being held all the time starring at clothing and skin the baby isn't overly stimulated mentally along with the child lacking the independence of exploring on their own which hurts development of the brain during crucial years.

It's an interesting thesis especially as the large spike in autism correlates to when Attached Parenting was introduced in the late 1980's. I'll have to ask him about the male age study next round of beers.

Well...... i would be willing to bet money he is wrong.

To preface i do not practice attachment parenting and think cosleeping is stupid and breastfeeding 5 year olds disgusting but to blame attachment parenting on autism seems foolish.

Looking at non industrial cultures kids being carried constantly was a way of life. Look rural asia and africa. Baby wearing in general is a throw back practice not a modern one. Attachment parenting is also a significant minority and not a mainstream practice. If anything the increase in dual income families has led to more kids a daycare and therefore less kids getting held.

Its really just baseless speculation from someone in a position who should know better than to speculate given the damage jenny macarthy has caused

[Hemi-Cuda]

Originally Posted by Danijam

In his 60s?! Kids or no kids, that seems sad to me.

live hard, die young. what's left after your 60's? a walker, prunes, and watching The Price Is Right. i hope i die before i hit 70, and that my death is spectacular enough to warrant a front page byline

[Muta]

Originally Posted by Danijam

In his 60s?! Kids or no kids, that seems sad to me.

Why? He was happy. I knew him very well. He loved life.

[Danijam]

Originally Posted by Muta

Why? He was happy. I knew him very well. He loved life.

Just seems like if he was so happy he might not have minded another decade (or two).

[RougeUnderoos]

Originally Posted by Danijam

Just seems like if he was so happy he might not have minded another decade (or two).

Very few of us have a choice in the matter.

[KeepCalmCarryOn]

105% of the people I know who say "they don't want kids" are actually just ugly people who couldn't find a girl to make kids with. I think they use it as a crutch.

[RougeUnderoos]

Originally Posted by KeepCalmCarryOn

105% of the people I know who say "they don't want kids" are actually just ugly people who couldn't find a girl to make kids with. I think they use it as a crutch.

That's a good point. Ugly people never have kids.

[KeepCalmCarryOn]

Originally Posted by RougeUnderoos

That's a good point. Ugly people never have kids.

I was being glib - I didn't litterally mean all ugly people don't have kids (just look at Edmonton - RIM SHOT!) - It's just the same in my eyes as the old saying "the guys who brag about having sex the most are having it the least".

The people I know who moan and whine about being socially-prosecuted consciousness objectors to parent hood are the guys who have to pay for sex. I think it makes them feel better at night if they can fool themselves into believing "I don't want kids and love being single" as opposed to "why doesn't anyone want meeeee". Which is fine, I just see it as a coping mechanism for many people.

[KeepCalmCarryOn]

I should also add that I personally don't know any loving couples in their child rearing years who haven't at least tried to have a kid. Some people can't, and don't have the cut of the jib to adopt so they don't have kids... But my point is they tried.

I'd like to know how many of the "I don't want to give up my prime years" folks are in long term relationships? Be interesting to see (though now that I have said my piece I'd expect a lot of people to show me wrong)...

[GGG]

Originally Posted by KeepCalmCarryOn

I was being glib - I didn't litterally mean all ugly people don't have kids (just look at Edmonton - RIM SHOT!) - It's just the same in my eyes as the old saying "the guys who brag about having sex the most are having it the least".

The people I know who moan and whine about being socially-prosecuted consciousness objectors to parent hood are the guys who have to pay for sex. I think it makes them feel better at night if they can fool themselves into believing "I don't want kids and love being single" as opposed to "why doesn't anyone want meeeee". Which is fine, I just see it as a coping mechanism for many people.

Then is the opposite also true? That parents who proclaim that having kids is great and fufilling really are the ones that resent having kids and wish that they were single?

I think in both camps you have resentment and people who enjoy their choice.

[KeepCalmCarryOn]

Originally Posted by GGG

Then is the opposite also true? That parents who proclaim that having kids is great and fufilling really are the ones that resent having kids and wish that they were single?

I think in both camps you have resentment and people who enjoy their choice.

Fair point.

I don't mean to play devil's advocate but saw some of the non-parent chest thumping and thought i'd add my two cents. Not really a concern of mine either way as I don't have to make that decision yet but... KEEP CALM AND CARRY ON with your discussion everyone! Whatever you choose I hope you are happy in life, as that's all that matters.

[rubecube]

Originally Posted by KeepCalmCarryOn

I should also add that I personally don't know any loving couples in their child rearing years who haven't at least tried to have a kid. Some people can't, and don't have the cut of the jib to adopt so they don't have kids... But my point is they tried.

I'd like to know how many of the "I don't want to give up my prime years" folks are in long term relationships? Be interesting to see (though now that I have said my piece I'd expect a lot of people to show me wrong)...

I've been with my current girlfriend for a year and a half, previous one for three years...so yeah.

[chemgear]

Hmmm, I was under the impression that most studies indicate that general overall happiness peaks right after a couple gets married. It drops after having kids and never really gets back to the original levels until they grow up and are out of the house. (Obviously large generalities there.)

In fact if I remember correctly, there was a large study that was done in 2009 the loudly proclaimed that their work showed proof (that ran contrary to most other studies) and that happiness actually increased as the number of children went up. Several months later they had to retract the entire body of work because the researchers later realized that their spreadsheets/data was messed up.

Regardless, I've always been of the notion that once you have kids, your life is no longer about "you" and becomes all about them for the rest of your life. Or for the next two decades. At least if you are doing it correctly. There are rewards to be had either path I am sure.

[chemgear]

Ahhh here we go:





This video is pretty good too - brings up some taboos and #4 starts at 11:10

http://www.ted.com/talks/lang/en/ruf...ng_taboos.html


(Again, not saying having kids is terrible - just something to be considered/thought through perhaps.)

[Muta]

Originally Posted by Danijam

Just seems like if he was so happy he might not have minded another decade (or two).

The hell are you implying? He died of lung cancer you insensitive dick.

[Delthefunky]

Originally Posted by troutman

You are not bad people. It is a wise person that can recognize they are not ready for the commitment.

do not want the commitment

[Five-hole]

So I'm happily married and have been with my wife for 3.5 years now, and we're pretty sure we don't want kids. At least not right now. We're selfish and we know it.

And yet the greatest thing in the world is my nephew. What an awesome dude.

And yet the second greatest thing in the world is giving him back at the end of the day.

And yet I wonder if I'm going to hit 50 and see my friends with their teenager offspring going off to college and wonder if I missed out. I golf with strangers who are a dad/son twosome and think, huh, that seems pretty great too.

Fart! I have no idea.

[Sliver]

Originally Posted by Muta

The hell are you implying? He died of lung cancer you insensitive dick.

I think danijam would be insensitive if she knew he died of lung cancer, which of course she couldn't possibly know so your outrage is a little misplaced.

Plus, you said he died a happy man, which implied he was also ready to go (to me, anyway).

Sorry for your loss, though.