How much do you assess your financial value in marriage consideration and thereafter?

[JohnnyB]

Edit： I know this is probably an ' important in the rest of the world but not here' type of conversation, but here goes anyways...

Just finished having a very interesting conversation with a good friend of mine on a broad variety of topics including your worth upon entering a marriage. This was interesting to him because we are both in China and he knows well from the position that he is in that people here will pay as much as 30,000,000rmb for citizenship to Australia or to the UK. He has both citizenships and has had two multimillionaire women propose to him in virtue of such. He has turned them down because he is confident he can find a multimillionairesse who he also wants to be with.

I'm already a married guy, but he was pushing me to consider the fact that my Canadian and British citizenship carry a combined 60,000,000rmb value to people here in dealing with family issues and that I should constantly be conscious of this.

In reality, I know this is how people think here in China, so I think he has a great deal of reason on his side. Life in China has often made me think that my idealism is a phenomenal practical failing.

What do others on here think about it?

[ranchlandsselling]

Ummmmm.... I'm a bit confused. Are you wondering about the marrying for someone else to get citizenship debate? If so, that is interesting and I'm also a dual citizen and am curious if I could get my fiance on side with this. Financial freedom for a bit of fraudulent marrying

[Daradon]

I never thought about it, but I'm all ears for more info.

[Knalus]

My marriage is the biggest asset I have, even considering the fact that my wife isn't employed. That needs to be taken into consideration.

[JohnnyB]

The thing is that financial worth is a standard consideration for marriageability here in China, especially in Shanghai. I don't agree with it from a moral point of view, but I know that is how many people here function and that it is a serious practical consideration.
Just want to get others weighing in on how they would consider the wealth a person brings in assessing the viability of a marriage, or how someone should assess the value of individual wealth in ongoing family relationships thereafter.

Edit: If you were worth say $10,000,000 and you knew that family relations only cared about money, how would this affect your relationship with them?

[Kavvy]

I am so confused.... Is this thread actually talking about what I think it is?

[JohnnyB]

Originally Posted by Kavy

I am so confused.... Is this thread actually talking about what I think it is?

Well, if it is... welcome to life in China!!
That's more or less how it is here. Painfully so.

[Regular_John]

Originally Posted by JohnnyB

The thing is that financial worth is a standard consideration for marriageability here in China, especially in Shanghai. I don't agree with it from a moral point of view, but I know that is how many people here function and that it is a serious practical consideration.
Just want to get others weighing in on how they would consider the wealth a person brings in assessing the viability of a marriage, or how someone should assess the value of individual wealth in ongoing family relationships thereafter.

Edit: If you were worth say $10,000,000 and you knew that family relations only cared about money, how would this affect your relationship with them?

Typically someone marrying "for the money" is labeled a gold digger, and somewhat shunned by the community.

"Net worth" isn't really a topic that's discussed when it comes to relationships & marriage. Yes, most people wan't a partner who isn't dirt poor, and can hold a job, but beyond that it's not really a consideration.

Now we do have a concept of a prenup, basically an agreement that if the marriage goes south/breaks up than it outlines how assets/money will be distributed. But that's typically only used with the mega rich. I'd be surprised if there was wide spread use by anyone with a net worth of less than $1,000,000.

[troutman]

http://www.cic.gc.ca/english/informa...d/marriage.asp

It is a crime for foreign nationals to marry Canadian citizens or permanent residents only to gain entry into Canada. Citizenship and Immigration Canada (CIC) is working to prevent these fraudulent marriages.

[JohnnyB]

Originally Posted by troutman

http://www.cic.gc.ca/english/informa...d/marriage.asp

It is a crime for foreign nationals to marry Canadian citizens or permanent residents only to gain entry into Canada. Citizenship and Immigration Canada (CIC) is working to prevent these fraudulent marriages.

To be clear, that's not what my wife is about at all. But, for the rest of the family, I don't know.

Personal worth in Shanghai is related for many, many people to monetary worth only. Obviously something like a citizenship isn't something that is provided a clear financial value upon entering into a marriage, but it does hold a clear financial value if you are in China. That's kind of how things are here. When you're in shallow circumstances, should it be considered in dealing with family? Would you?

[Daradon]

Originally Posted by troutman

http://www.cic.gc.ca/english/informa...d/marriage.asp

It is a crime for foreign nationals to marry Canadian citizens or permanent residents only to gain entry into Canada. Citizenship and Immigration Canada (CIC) is working to prevent these fraudulent marriages.

Lol, no kidding.

[JohnnyB]

I need to head to bed, but will check in on this when I get up to see what people are saying.

[GirlySports]

Shanghai girls are the biggest snobs.

/bitter

[JohnnyB]

Originally Posted by GirlySports

Shanghai girls are the biggest snobs.

/bitter

I agree, though my girl is not typical Shanghainese at all in that regard.

I figured you would probably have more understanding that anyone on this topic though.

Either way, I need to get some sleep. It's 4AM here.
Will log on in the morning.

[Cecil Terwilliger]

I'm not 100% sure what you're asking. Are you wanting to know if I (or CP) considers the net worth, annual salary or earning potential when we pick a mate? Basically am I trying to marry rich?

Or are you asking if I'd marry someone to get rich knowing that the trade off was that they only wanted to marry me to gain Canadian citizenship but would make it worth my while financially?

[Bertuzzied]

Originally Posted by GirlySports

Shanghai girls are the biggest snobs.

/bitter

Why are you bitter? is it because they have snow white-like skin? hehe

This guy my wife knows did some sort of crazy immigration marriage where he got like $40,000us. Big bucks but he was really sad she wouldn't sleep with him though.hehe

[JohnnyB]

Originally Posted by Cecil Terwilliger

I'm not 100% sure what you're asking. Are you wanting to know if I (or CP) considers the net worth, annual salary or earning potential when we pick a mate? Basically am I trying to marry rich?

Or are you asking if I'd marry someone to get rich knowing that the trade off was that they only wanted to marry me to gain Canadian citizenship but would make it worth my while financially?

Sadly/Hilariously, I think this would be understood right away on a Chinese discussion forum, because it is so normal.

The question is how would you assess you value in entering a marriage and how would you approach dealing with your worth in interactions with family or even your betrothed.

[Nammer403]

Originally Posted by JohnnyB

Sadly/Hilariously, I think this would be understood right away on a Chinese discussion forum, because it is so normal.

I agree, in the Asian community theres always people asking

[troutman]

“Try not to become a man of success. Rather become a man of value.”
― Albert Einstein

“The scholar does not consider gold and jade to be precious treasures, but loyalty and good faith.”
― Confucius

What is a cynic? A man who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing.
Oscar Wilde

I conceive that the great part of the miseries of mankind are brought upon them by false estimates they have made of the value of things.
Benjamin Franklin

[JohnnyB]

Originally Posted by troutman

“Try not to become a man of success. Rather become a man of value.”
― Albert Einstein

“The scholar does not consider gold and jade to be precious treasures, but loyalty and good faith.”
― Confucius

What is a cynic? A man who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing.
Oscar Wilde

In modern China, nobody gives a s#%t what the scholar thinks because he isn't driving a BMW and can't afford any mistresses....