Tipping a server

[MarchHare]

Originally Posted by jaydorn

Trolls wish they could be this good, Springs1 is in a league of their own, what's a step above trolls? Morlocks? Yeah, we're getting Morlocked here, and in just an exquisite manner.

See, the very best trolls are the ones about whom you can never be sure if they're trolling or genuinely mentally disturbed. I honestly have no idea where Springs1 fits. If she's a troll and has been able to maintain the facade for this long, then I salute her. I've been posting on BBSes, usenet, and web forums for nearly two decades, and never have I encountered a troll so dedicated to his or her craft. This is absolutely masterful work, the stuff of legends.

If she's really crazy, though...

[Senator Clay Davis]

Originally Posted by Springs1

Common sense, DUHH, because what they do affects ME PERSONALLY by if they pay their server 20% when they did poorly, all they are doing is REINFORCING THAT BEHAVIOR that ends up at OUR TABLE, understand? Shouldn't this be a bit of COMMON SENSE, HUH?

No it doesn't affect you at all. The reason: Most of these people get paid as low as possible. Tipping them more isn't the reason they will continue to be mediocre servers. Pay them a decent wage and then maybe they'll have pride in their work. But like I said when they would be paid less if it were legally possibly, how can expect them to care at the level you want them to?

I NEVER EVER ONCE SAID THAT!! I said REDUCE the tip if the service is no-so-great and only stiff if it's horrible.

But I get that these people get paid dick all, and as a decent human being I choose to kick in a decent tip. Perhaps its because I've worked in the service industry and can appreciate how badly some workers get crapped on by customers, like you, who literally bitch at any and everything because to them, its just some random server they could care less about, so they don't mind trampelling on their emotions and feelings.

We have had WORSE service at fine dining. For example, a place where our check was $293 or so for just us(cheapest steak was $89), our waiter took 8-10 minutes to get my first soft drink, 8-10 minutes to get my refill on my soft drink, and MOST IMPORTANTLY FORGOT MY MARGARITA FROM THE BAR WITH *****NO APOLOGY****** and I wasn't mean either. I said "thank you" even when he brought it back, STILL NO SORRY to speak of. No comp either, not even from the manager that came by to ask how our visit was(we didn't call him, he came to us).

Seriously? These people are exceptionally busy and have a hard job. They make mistakes. You can either be a normal human being and forgive human error and let it slide, or you can do what you do and rant and rave across the net about crappy service. Perhaps he should have said thank you, but would him have saying thank you made you do a 180 on your feelings about the service? From the rest of your posts, thats doubtful, you would find something else to get pissed at.

So what you are saying is BS!! The COSTS OF THE FOOD MEANS ***********NOTHING***************!! It all has to do with the *{PERSON}* SERVING YOU!! We have had better service at Denny's, IHOP, and Waffle House even and that's cheaper than the other chains like Applebee's, Outback, Etc.

The cost of food is low. Because they pay their employees low. So yes, it has everuthing to do with it. There are always going to be people who will work as hard at $4/hr as they do $40/hr. But you expect everyone to have the same approach as you. Seems kind of miopic to me.

WHY, when I know how *I* would do the job that if I wanted the customer's money, I'D BUST MY BUTT AND THEN SOME FOR THEM, WHY SHOULD I ACT LIKE THEY SHOULD BE LAZY WHEN ***I***** WOULDN'T BE, HUH?

Because thats you. Amazingly everyone is different. If you expect everyone to do things to your specifications, why exactly do you ever leave the house? You seem to expect everyone to do the things "I would". Based off that, shouldn't every server just piss and moan like you do?

I am not treating people like crap though. If anything, the servers are being JERKS not apologizing the majority of the time they do mistakes, no being considerate such as doodling on the check, bussing a table instead of getting what you asked for such as your check or refill, etc. THOSE people are treating us like crap. It's the OTHER WAY AROUND and YOU KNOW THAT IS THE GOD'S TRUTH!!

Yes you are treating people like crap. You expect everyone to bend over backwards to ensure you have the exact service you want. If you want exactly what you want, do it yourself. Seriously, why eat out anymore if you have nothing good to say about it (other than the obvious you suck at cooking defense)? If almost everytime I ate out it was a horrible experience, I probably would choose to stop eating out, and yet you almost seem to get a sick pleasure from it, probably because without it you couldn't rant and rave like you do now. Ultimately you strike me as someone who even if they got letter perfect service would find something (the weather, the parking spot you ended up with) to complain about.

[MarchHare]

Originally Posted by Springs1

Common sense. Then you will know exactly where I live.

We already know you live in Louisiana; you've said so yourself. I'm not asking for your street address, zip code, or phone number, just the name of some restaurants in your area. Nobody could use that information to precisely identify you as living in one specific home.

[undercoverbrother]

Originally Posted by MarchHare

We already know you live in Louisiana; you've said so yourself. I'm not asking for your street address, zip code, or phone number, just the name of some restaurants in your area. Nobody could use that information to precisely identify you as living in one specific home.

I would suggest her home is "mobile"

[puffnstuff]

You know what? If you take a regular Springs1 post and put it through the translator it gets even more spectacular.

[Senator Clay Davis]

Originally Posted by Springs1

Common sense. Then you will know exactly where I live.

You think any of us give a flying F where you live? I think most of us think you live in an asylum.

[Springs1]

Originally Posted by Senator Clay Davis

No it doesn't affect you at all. The reason: Most of these people get paid as low as possible. Tipping them more isn't the reason they will continue to be mediocre servers. Pay them a decent wage and then maybe they'll have pride in their work. But like I said when they would be paid less if it were legally possibly, how can expect them to care at the level you want them to?

It does. If everyone tipped like us, the servers couldn't pay their bills. UNDERSTAND? THEY WOULD ******LEARN******* TO BUST THEIR BUTTS OR QUIT because they wouldn't even be making min. wage even.

But I get that these people get paid dick all, and as a decent human being I choose to kick in a decent tip. Perhaps its because I've worked in the service industry and can appreciate how badly some workers get crapped on by customers, like you, who literally bitch at any and everything because to them, its just some random server they could care less about, so they don't mind trampelling on their emotions and feelings.

All you doing is REINFORCING THEM TO FORGET OR MESS UP THE SAME THINGS AGAIN.

They trample on MY FEELINGS, NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND. They don't say their sorry most of the time, they don't try their best most of the time, and they sometime even put cleaning up over what you asked for as if that has feelings and is going to tip them, especially when there's no wait for a table either.

Seriously? These people are exceptionally busy and have a hard job. They make mistakes. You can either be a normal human being and forgive human error and let it slide, or you can do what you do and rant and rave across the net about crappy service. Perhaps he should have said thank you, but would him have saying thank you made you do a 180 on your feelings about the service? From the rest of your posts, thats doubtful, you would find something else to get pissed at.

Don't you mean "SORRY", NOT "THANK YOU." If he would have said "Sorry" instead of 12%, he would have received 15%. If he would have said "SO SORRY", he would have gotten 17%. Understand how it works? YOU BE MEAN, I BE MEAN BACK TO YOU JUST AS UNCARING AS YOU WERE TO ME. BE NICE, I WILL BE NICER TO YOU IN THE TIP JUST AS YOU WERE TO ME. AN EYE FOR AN EYE!!

If it's a REAL MISTAKE, HE WOULD HAVE SAID HE WAS SORRY, PLAIN AND SIMPLE!!

The cost of food is low. Because they pay their employees low. So yes, it has everuthing to do with it. There are always going to be people who will work as hard at $4/hr as they do $40/hr. But you expect everyone to have the same approach as you. Seems kind of miopic to me.

Their pay is the same $2.13/hr even at fine dining. They work for TIPS, NOTHING MORE. So what you are saying doesn't make *ANY* SENSE WHAT-SO-EVER!!

Because thats you. Amazingly everyone is different. If you expect everyone to do things to your specifications, why exactly do you ever leave the house? You seem to expect everyone to do the things "I would"

It has to do with FEELINGS.

Yes you are treating people like crap. You expect everyone to bend over backwards to ensure you have the exact service you want.

No I DON'T. I AM NICER THAN THEY ARE TO ME!!

They want that money, it's their *JOB* TO BEND OVER BACKWARDS FOR IT. YOU DO WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO TO MAKE THAT GOOD TIP. Just read http://stef319.hubpages.com/hub/Conf...-A-Food-Server

I definitely know where you're coming from with servers, though. I will agree that 90% of our servers ARE lazy. They drive me crazy; as lazy as they are with their tables (who are providing their tips), imagine how lazy they are when it's time to do sidework and help clean the restaurant. They're always on their cell phones, outside smoking cigarettes, flirting with the cooks, when they should be paying attention to their guests. And I bet they get your orders wrong all the time because you're right-they are lazy. They expect a 20% tip always. They wonder why they get "stiffed" on a tip sometimes. It's because they didn't deserve a tip!

Even stef319 agrees. YOU SOUND LIKE THE SERVERS SHE'S COMPLAINING ABOUT, LAZY!!

If you want exactly what you want, do it yourself.

You sound LAZY, FOR REAL, VERY LAZY!! If you don't want the job, DON'T TAKE IT!!

Ultimately you strike me as someone who even if they got letter perfect service would find something (the weather, the parking spot you ended up with) to complain about.

No, I have had PERFECT service before with ZERO COMPLAINTS!!

[flames_1987]

The best part of this is her trying to play it off as people coming onto her blog to agree with her, when it's clearly her and the exact same writing style OF CAPS LOCK in random places.

[WhiteTiger]

Yep, I have to agree. This is one expert level troll. If she actually went into a restaurant with this kind of attitude, soon enough there wouldn't be a place in town that would allow her back in, much less "up to 3 times a weekend". *snicker*

[Springs1]

Originally Posted by Senator Clay Davis

You expect everyone to bend over backwards to ensure you have the exact service you want.

That's YOUR JOB TO BEND OVER BACKWARDS AND FORWARDS. Customer says BOO, YOU GO TO DO WHAT THEY SAY IF YOU WANT AND EXPECT THAT BIG TIP!!

Servers are the mercy of the customers as to how much they make.

You sound lazy saying

If you want exactly what you want, do it yourself.

NO, I won't. MY MONEY GIVES ME THE RIGHT TO WANT IT MY WAY AND TO GET IT MY WAY IF YOU WANT MY MONEY!!

[WhiteTiger]

Originally Posted by flames_1987

The best part of this is her trying to play it off as people coming onto her blog to agree with her, when it's clearly her and the exact same writing style OF CAPS LOCK in random places.

I was thinking "Wow, in 10 years you've gotten 2 people to agree with you. Clearly, you are right about this..."

[Springs1]

Originally Posted by flames_1987

The best part of this is her trying to play it off as people coming onto her blog to agree with her, when it's clearly her and the exact same writing style OF CAPS LOCK in random places.

NO, did you read Stef319 at first? I was DISAGREEING WITH HER BLOG:

This was her first response to me:

First of all Springs1, there's no need to use such profanity. Did I stress that I work in a FINE dining restaurant, with carefully assembled dishes?? I'm not lazy; in fact I am far from it. Yes, indeed I AM there to satisfy you, as a guest. I can guide you to the perfect wine pairing for your dinner; I can recommend the most popular local dishes. I will provide intelligent conversation, a friendly disposition, and I will do my best to make sure that you will have a pleasurable experience. And you probably will. And just so you know, it's not usually lazy servers who get your substitutions wrong; it's almost always the cooks who misread the tickets that come back to the kitchen. I cannot stress enough how busy a kitchen gets, and substitutions severely slow a kitchen down. I'm sorry, it's just the way it is.
I understand that you want to get the best possible experience when you go out to dinner; from what I gather you are very finicky. You stated that you make substitutions on a regular basis. I could understand a "no tomatoes", but it usually doesn't end with one request. It's usually followed with a "no onion, light cheese, sauce on the side, and mushrooms instead of peppers". Our menu is quite extensive; my point is that you should pick out an item that has everything you like. This way you're guaranteed the most flavorful dish possible, as our chef spends a lot of time building a flavor profile on his dishes. And our chef GETS PISSED when guests ask for omissions/substitutions. It is an INSULT to suggest that you can create a better dish than he. If you want the best dinner for your money, pick an item on our menu that requires no subs/omissions. That way you're getting a dish that has been designed by a very prominent chef.
As for the separate check issue. My time is more valuable in the dining room. Or the kitchen. Not on the computer. We have two computers and seven servers. There is no time for separate checks. I am insulted that you said I was lazy. When I have guests, I am all over them at all times, making sure that they are satisfied. Some of the longest times I have been apart from my guests are when I am separating and cashing out separate checks. It's selfish of you to demand so much of my time when I should be doing other things that are way more important to my other guests' dining experiences.
I doubt that you tip 25-30% on your bill because you realize that you are a pain in the ass. Most people like you put your server through hell and then leave a standard tip. You probably send items back as well, and I bet that you forewarn your server with a threat to send back anything that doesn't meet your "standards".
And by the way, I have been quite accredited with awards throughout my career in hospitality. I make very good money as a server; I am also a paralegal (and a part-time student), but the majority of my income comes from serving on the weekends. I have done very well for myself, and I continue to enjoy my job(s) most of the time. It's when I have to deal with people like you that my job becomes difficult.

[flames_1987]

Originally Posted by WhiteTiger

I was thinking "Wow, in 10 years you've gotten 2 people to agree with you. Clearly, you are right about this..."

She has literally used those exact same sentences/paragraphs/arguments, she tried to use as other posters. Oh Springs1...that is low...even for a troll

[Springs1]

Originally Posted by flames_1987

The best part of this is her trying to play it off as people coming onto her blog to agree with her, when it's clearly her and the exact same writing style OF CAPS LOCK in random places.

Then here she started to see where I was coming from:

Springs, to be 100% honest, that blog was the first one I have ever written. I'm looking for a new paralegal job and I was on job websites when I saw an ad for "hub pages: make money at home writing". I thought, "Hey, what the hell. I'll check it out". So I'm trying to figure out what to write about, and then it came to me. "Stef, write about what you hate about work". And I did it off the top of my head based on random irritants from the prior weekend. Then I got your comments and I was SOOOO pissed!!! But all you knew about me was my 20 minute bitch session. And you kept calling me lazy. I couldn't go to sleep so I had to grab another beer to calm down. After reading my blog, I understand why you thought that. That's why I called it a "confession", cause if I waited on you, you'd never in a million years think that I was annoyed with anything. I am a really nice person, but I have my bad days, and when I have my bad days at work I have to keep it in and pretend like everything's awesome. I used this blog to vent some frustration and was kind of looking for some other servers to join in and vent with me. But I wasn't trying to condone any bad behavior toward guests. I'm new to this. Maybe I really should focus on the positive rather than the negative. You're a woman and you know when you've had a rough weekend and you're pushed to your limits and you just can't take one more person asking for one more thing of you.
I definitely know where you're coming from with servers, though. I will agree that 90% of our servers ARE lazy. They drive me crazy; as lazy as they are with their tables (who are providing their tips), imagine how lazy they are when it's time to do sidework and help clean the restaurant. They're always on their cell phones, outside smoking cigarettes, flirting with the cooks, when they should be paying attention to their guests. And I bet they get your orders wrong all the time because you're right-they are lazy. They expect a 20% tip always. They wonder why they get "stiffed" on a tip sometimes. It's because they didn't deserve a tip!
That's why I said that I don't want other servers taking my food out. I don't trust them at all. They don't read the kitchen slips, they bring a steak out without a steak knife, they forget sides, and they auction off food. It ends up costing me more time cause not only do I have to apologize for their order delivery not being correct, but I still have to go back to the kitchen and get whatever they forgot. And god forbid that the guest asks THEM for something because not only will they not get it, but they won't even have the courtesy to tell me what the table wanted.
I go out to eat whenever my boyfriend have time, which is not very often, and I absolutely agree with you that most servers are very lazy. I don't request much; I'm pretty simple when it comes to ordering, as well as my boyfriend, but I do request my steaks AS RARE AS POSSIBLE. Now, what are the odds that I'm going to get a true rare steak? About 50/50,which is ridiculous.
I always critique my servers, and my boyfriend gets pissed, but I expect my server to provide me with good service. I'm a little different with my requests, though.
Here are my problems:
The server should know which wines are available on the wine list. Know what you're out of. I don't know how many times I ordered a bottle of wine and the server comes back and says, "sorry, we're out of that". The server should know what alcohol is available; it is just as bad as not having a particular food item.
Another big problem I have: I like to take my time; obviously if I'm ordering a bottle of wine I want to sit and relax. I tell the server ahead of time that I do not want them to put the food order in right away, and I want plenty of time between courses. Exception to this is if it's a busy night, but since I always work weekends it's usually on a Monday or Tuesday and restaurants aren't busy so it's no big deal to sit long and take up that space. Plus, the way we order when we go out, we spend a lot and I let the server know that I'm also a server so that waiter or waitress has a good inclination that it's gonna be a good tip. But my food still comes out fast.
Also, dishes are hardly ever cleared between courses. And wine service is almost never up to par. The server should be around to fill my glass, like I do with my guests. Now, I admit that I'm not around every time they need their glasses to be filled, but I at least try to fill once around appetizer time and once while they're eating dinner (when I check back to see how everything is)-which, by the way, is TWO minutes after the dinner is brought out, not when I'm almost finished. Also, I do not appreciate the female servers flirting with my boyfriend. I'm a pretty good looking girl (so I think) and when I wait on a couple, I stand closer to the female, and ALWAYS pay more attention to her. If the couple is joking with me, I ALWAYS take the girl's side on ANY issue, as to not offend the woman. Some of these skanky girls flirt with him, thinking that he's paying and he'll leave her a bigger tip. Couldn't be further from the truth, though, cause if I pay, I leave the tip, and if he pays, I leave the tip as well. He's an IT guy and leaves the tipping to me. So flirting with my boyfriend will only decrease your tip.
Anyway, sorry to get you upset over my blog. I was just blowing off some steam. And please know that there really are some good servers out there who want you to have a good time when you go out. We are out there; we may be few and far between, but we do exist.

[WhiteTiger]

Originally Posted by Springs1

That's YOUR JOB TO BEND OVER BACKWARDS AND FORWARDS.

Um, no...actually. There are reasonable limits to what someone is expected to do at their job, and perform to every single customers special whimsy is not one of them. They are expected to do well, but they are never expected to bend over backwards and forwards for you. That's just backwards thinking. Most service industry style folks get warned about folks like you in that there is nothing you can do to 100% please them. There will always be something about what your server did that you don't like. As a manager, you just tell your employees to not let the special basket cases get to them, and to keep working well with the reasonable people.

[Springs1]

Originally Posted by WhiteTiger

I was thinking "Wow, in 10 years you've gotten 2 people to agree with you. Clearly, you are right about this..."

You just don't want to admit that most servers ARE LAZY AND WORLD IS LAZY WITH DOING MORE WORK. Seriously, YOU DON'T WANT TO ADMIT SHE IS RIGHT. Most servers want to text on their cell phones, smoke breaks, flirt with the cooks, etc. They don't want to do the *WORK* for the money.

How many servers REALLY bust ass you know for real? I truly don't know too many, because they are RARE that the WORK HARD AND TRY THEIR BEST.

[Zee]

Springs1 has consumed a *LOT* of SALIVA and PHLEGM...

[Springs1]

Originally Posted by WhiteTiger

Um, no...actually. There are reasonable limits to what someone is expected to do at their job, and perform to every single customers special whimsy is not one of them. They are expected to do well, but they are never expected to bend over backwards and forwards for you. That's just backwards thinking. Most service industry style folks get warned about folks like you in that there is nothing you can do to 100% please them. There will always be something about what your server did that you don't like. As a manager, you just tell your employees to not let the special basket cases get to them, and to keep working well with the reasonable people.

But as a server, you are there to make the most money you can make, so if you can do something, you SHOULD if you EXPECT that 20%-25%-30% tip. If you don't, don't expect a good tip then. You cannot complain if you aren't WILLING TO BUST YOUR BUTT. That's just like complaining you made a bad grade, but didn't study. HOW THE HELL DO YOU FEEL YOU HAVE *ANY* RIGHT TO COMPLAIN IF YOU WERE TOO LAZY TO STUDY? SAME EXACT THING!!

Such as a server saying "I got a 13% tip the cheap #######s." The server really thinking about it "Did I really try my best?" NO, so I guess I can't expect 20% then.

[flames_1987]

Springs1, it's ironic your plea for people to work harder, when you've spent hundreds of hours talking about this online.

[Senator Clay Davis]

Originally Posted by Springs1

But as a server, you are there to make the most money you can make, so if you can do something, you SHOULD if you EXPECT that 20%-25%-30% tip. If you don't, don't expect a good tip then. You cannot complain if you aren't WILLING TO BUST YOUR BUTT. That's just like complaining you made a bad grade, but didn't study. HOW THE HELL DO YOU FEEL YOU HAVE *ANY* RIGHT TO COMPLAIN IF YOU WERE TOO LAZY TO STUDY? SAME EXACT THING!!

You might be shocked to learn this, but this goes both ways too. There are a lot of people out there who get great service by someone who busts their ass off, and they tip like crap. Tiger Woods and Scottie "No Tippin" Pippen are a couple of examples, leaving $2 tips on $500 bills. So while you may expect someone to bust their ass off to the extreme, it doesn't ensure a good tip.