Attachment Parenting & Time Breastfeeding Cover

[Resolute 14]

This is the kind of thread where those NSFW threads taunt me here at work...

Pretty obvious that Time is using the cover to create controversy (and sales), but without having read the article, kinda creepy.

I have a coworker who is probably the most extreme helicopter parent I've ever known. I wouldn't be surprised if she breast fed her kid until 7 either. Kid's 17 now, and I am undecided as to whether he's going to live in his mommy's house for the rest of his life, or whether he's going to disappear the day after his 18th birthday, never to be heard from again. For his sake, I actually hope the latter.

[firebug]

I admit, we fall into the attachment parenting side of things - but not the political end of it.

We co-sleep (have a 15-month old in the bed now), nurse till kids are older (around 2 or 2.5) and really don't care what other people choose to do or not do.

I wouldn't trade co-sleeping for anything - really has been the best choice for us (YMMV).

[Bill Bumface]

How do you hump?

[Drury18]

Originally Posted by Rathji

Because they drink from the awesomest milk container in the world?

I think you are wrong about the implications, but I also don't fully understand what the 'attachment parenting' that is described in the article entails, so I might be out to lunch.

Actually my post had less to do with breastfeeding for long periods on its own, but more of the other typical behaviours of attachment parenting. The child being strapped to a parent 24/7, sleeping in the parents bed and never in their own, jumping to every single cry (literally, every single cry), not allowing them to have independent play via helicopter parenting where the child goes more then a foot away and they panic, leash children, etc.

Ironically, breastfeeding until they are 10 would probably be the least harmful of these behaviours and yet the one most focused on.

And Puxlut, I'm completely with you on your statement about breastfeeding. I think many women feel the same way but its stigmatized to make those sort of statements when it comes to your children.

[firebug]

Originally Posted by fotze

Did you not read that he was married and has kids?

How do you hump. Good one.

I've found that the frequency of humping is highly dependent upon the quantity and quality of sleep that the parents receive. Co-sleeping allows us to have far better sleep quality and quantity compared to how we hear other, non-co-sleeping, parents self-report.

If you are a married couple with kids and aren't humping regularly... you're doing something wrong.

(Parent of 3 kids; 7, 4 and 1)

[Rathji]

Originally Posted by Drury18

Actually my post had less to do with breastfeeding for long periods on its own, but more of the other typical behaviours of attachment parenting. The child being strapped to a parent 24/7, sleeping in the parents bed and never in their own, jumping to every single cry (literally, every single cry), not allowing them to have independent play via helicopter parenting where the child goes more then a foot away and they panic, leash children, etc.

Ironically, breastfeeding until they are 10 would probably be the least harmful of these behaviours and yet the one most focused on.

And Puxlut, I'm completely with you on your statement about breastfeeding. I think many women feel the same way but its stigmatized to make those sort of statements when it comes to your children.

For very young kids (typically under 6 months?), that is actually a pretty important to do so they understand that their basic physiological needs will be met ( See Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs) and allows them to be more 'well adjusted' as they grow up. Kids who don't have those needs met with enough regularity often have lots of problems associated with it ( commonly known as Attachment Disorder)

Now this isn't claiming that someone who doesn't jump to their kids every cry is being neglectful or that it will cause problems down the road if you let your kid cry a bit, but I don't think it cases any harm if you do. Also, in a normally developed over about 6 months of age this doesn't apply in the same way, and I am pretty sure the 'letting them cry it out' tactic is much better than the constant attention that you indicate happens with the parent style.

[GGG]

The WHO recomendation of breastfeeding until two is partially due to large swaths of the world not having access to clean drinking water or good nutrition. Breast milk then becomes a safe source and better nutrition then might otherwise be available. The length of time breast feeding benefits is different depending on what your other nutrional options are.

One thing I do question about attachment parenting is that it is the kids choice to quit breastfeeding or co-sleeping. In people who have done this that I know it seems to me and some admit that create an environment that encourages continued co-sleeping and breast feeding.

Because the parent is part of the relationship their actions towards breast feeding and co-sleeping affect the kids opinion of what is normal. Isolated from society why would a child ever want to stop breast feeding? What reason would they have to think that is not normal. Same with co-sleeping, when would the desire for privacy naturally occur? In my opinion it is the childs exposure to the outside world that leads them to want to stop these behaviours. So in my opinion giving the child the choice on whether they want to breast feed or not is very similar to raising a child a christian and claiming they have the choice on whether or not they want to be one. A five year old isn't capable of making that choice.

Also the concept of the kid making a choice certainly isn't a natural choice as its often portrayed. Evolutionarly children were weened by their parents and kicked out of the nest. So this movement is certainly a product of our modern society and not from nature.

All of that said parents can make their own choices and they probably aren't doing any real damage. I think any parent who has an opinion on how to parent generally is caring more than one who doesn't. (other than the anti-vaccine people). I am also a big fan of baby wearing over strollers because it is signifcantly more convenient after they are out of the bucket car seat that just clips into the stroller. They don't run off, they don't get into trouble, you don't have a stroller getting in the way of other people. I'm don't go crazy never put your child down baby wearing but if I am going shopping I choose the Ergo carrier over the stroller until the age of 2 when I make them walk.

[Rathji]

Originally Posted by firebug

I've found that the frequency of humping is highly dependent upon the quantity and quality of sleep that the parents receive. Co-sleeping allows us to have far better sleep quality and quantity compared to how we hear other, non-co-sleeping, parents self-report.

If you are a married couple with kids and aren't humping regularly... you're doing something wrong.

(Parent of 3 kids; 7, 4 and 1)

I know, but the wife says the horse tranquillizers are not for the kids.

(Parent of 3 kids; 4 2 and <1)

Oh wait, that's what I did wrong. 3 kids under 5!

[KTrain]

Originally Posted by firebug

Co-sleeping allows us to have far better sleep quality and quantity compared to how we hear other, non-co-sleeping, parents self-report.

On the rare occasion that one of our children wants to sleep in our bed (nightmares and the like), it always ends up something like this:



I'll sleep on the couch before sharing a bed with my 3 and 4 year old kids. They're animals.

[Bill Bumface]

Originally Posted by firebug

I've found that the frequency of humping is highly dependent upon the quantity and quality of sleep that the parents receive. Co-sleeping allows us to have far better sleep quality and quantity compared to how we hear other, non-co-sleeping, parents self-report.

If you are a married couple with kids and aren't humping regularly... you're doing something wrong.

(Parent of 3 kids; 7, 4 and 1)

So which kid gets the front row seat? Are they old enough to clap after?

Call me traditional, but I don't think I want my kids to be in the same room when my soon to be wife pulls out the football helmet and strap-on.

[CaptainCrunch]

Originally Posted by hulkrogan

So which kid gets the front row seat? Are they old enough to clap after?

Call me traditional, but I don't think I want my kids to be in the same room when my soon to be wife pulls out the football helmet and strap-on.

I have enough trouble with the dog in the room, thank god I don't have kids walking in

[Rathji]

Originally Posted by hulkrogan

So which kid gets the front row seat? Are they old enough to clap after?

Call me traditional, but I don't think I want my kids to be in the same room when my soon to be wife pulls out the football helmet and strap-on.

You sure you want to be in the room at that point either?

[Wormius]

Originally Posted by firebug

I admit, we fall into the attachment parenting side of things - but not the political end of it.

We co-sleep (have a 15-month old in the bed now), nurse till kids are older (around 2 or 2.5) and really don't care what other people choose to do or not do.

I wouldn't trade co-sleeping for anything - really has been the best choice for us (YMMV).

We only do it when it's really cold in the house. Kids are like, Nature's little space heaters.

[Bill Bumface]

Originally Posted by Rathji

You sure you want to be in the room at that point either?

... no.

help.

please.

[Methanolic]

I'm on the fence, Shrug/Cringe. That is all.

BITTY?

[Drury18]

Originally Posted by Rathji

For very young kids (typically under 6 months?), that is actually a pretty important to do so they understand that their basic physiological needs will be met ( See Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs) and allows them to be more 'well adjusted' as they grow up. Kids who don't have those needs met with enough regularity often have lots of problems associated with it ( commonly known as Attachment Disorder)

Now this isn't claiming that someone who doesn't jump to their kids every cry is being neglectful or that it will cause problems down the road if you let your kid cry a bit, but I don't think it cases any harm if you do. Also, in a normally developed over about 6 months of age this doesn't apply in the same way, and I am pretty sure the 'letting them cry it out' tactic is much better than the constant attention that you indicate happens with the parent style.

I completely agree that as a small infant, yes you do need to attend to the crying as that is different then when they become a little older. Obviously you don't just let a newborn scream it out and turn the other way. That's irresponsible and doesn't help the parents understand what the cries actually mean so that when they do get to that age (I believe its 6 months as well) where you can let them go, you are comfortable knowing what the cry is. Plus at that age, they aren't advanced enough to have figured out the whole training the parents with crying thing yet like an older baby would be.

[trublmaker]

time to let go lady. Is she doing this for herself, the kid with a full set of teeth now who can eat real food or just for the publicity/shock value?

[Iowa_Flames_Fan]

I think it's amazing when people feel free to judge the way that others choose to parent.

It's a big world, and kids are raised in a million different ways. 99% of them turn out perfectly fine.

I try to mind my own business; and I hope for the same from others when it comes to how I parent my own kids. In fact, when people stick their noses into our business, that's generally one of those times that I let out the "other guy."

[trublmaker]

Originally Posted by Iowa_Flames_Fan

I think it's amazing when people feel free to judge the way that others choose to parent.

It's a big world, and kids are raised in a million different ways. 99% of them turn out perfectly fine.

I try to mind my own business; and I hope for the same from others when it comes to how I parent my own kids. In fact, when people stick their noses into our business, that's generally one of those times that I let out the "other guy."

I think people open themselves up for critizism when they have their picture plastered on the cover of a national magazine cover

[Iowa_Flames_Fan]

Originally Posted by trublmaker

I think people open themselves up for critizism when they have their picture plastered on the cover of a national magazine cover

People also open themselves up for criticism when they act high and mighty about their own parenting styles. I'm not about to pretend I have all the answers--nor am I about to act like I actually care how long mothers breastfeed children that aren't mine. It's none of my business.