A-Hole Things You Do Just to be an A-Hole

[Sliver]

Do you ever find yourself doing super a-hole moves for no good reason? I don't do them all the time, but probably about once a month.

Example: When I'm driving along in the summer and I see a convertible coming up beside me, I may take that opportunity to squirt my windshield washer fluid so mist will get on the guy. It's obviously a super jerk move, but it makes me laugh on the inside. I do this with a straight face, too, so it looks like I'm just a clueless dope, which, from the victim's perspective, I think is more forgivable than an intentional a-hole.

I noticed I've passed this trait on to my four-year-old son, as well. Like if I'm taking him out of the bath and I've planned just perfectly for his toes to clear the side of the tub, he'll extend his foot at the last second to catch them on the tub just so I have to strain to get him up and over. Does it with a straight face, too, just like his old man.

Anybody else have this little mean streak in them, or is it just me and my son?

[Lobotroth]

I usually have about one blatant a-hole moment a week. Yesterday I got pissed at these two kids because they budged in front of me at Mac's, they genuinely didn't know that they did it so my anger was entirely unnecessary.

I will say that I seem to be the victim of everyone else's a-hole moments, that or everyone is just an a-hole all the time.

[shermanator]

When clients call me for help to fix their mistakes, and then start getting angry with me or trying to change my solution, I can be quite a dbag.

[HotHotHeat]

I get upset sometimes at the way people look... Mostly because they look stupid. It's unfair of me to judge based on looks, but it's next to impossible sometimes.

Has anyone noticed that the lines between hipster style and Guido/Jersey Shore style are blurring?

[CaptainCrunch]

Wiping my junk on a girls curtains as I reach for my pants and shoes for the sprint to the door.

[Table 5]

Originally Posted by Sliver

I noticed I've passed this trait on to my four-year-old son, as well. Like if I'm taking him out of the bath and I've planned just perfectly for his toes to clear the side of the tub, he'll extend his foot at the last second to catch them on the tub just so I have to strain to get him up and over. Does it with a straight face, too, just like his old man.

Next time he does it, put him back in the tub and leave him there. That'll learn him.

There, that's my a-hole move for the day.

[REDVAN]

I'm not surprised Silver started this thread.

[malcolmk14]

If someone is parked right on the yellow line in a parking lot, I'll pull in so my passenger door is so close to their driver door that they have to be less than 120 pounds to get into it. I'll even back in if necessary to make this possible.

If I'm on a narrow side street and some guy in a big Ford F-350 taking up 3/4 of the road comes towards me, I sit there in my Cavalier until he backs up and pulls over so I can go by. I'm not the one with the gigantic car on a tiny road, jerkface, you are!

[MrMastodonFarm]

I've stopped being patient with people as I'm exiting the ctrain and they're trying to get on. If they are too close to the entrance while I'm trying to exit and don't give people a route out, I'll make my own.

[MoneyGuy]

When I can't sleep I walk up and down alleys stealing extention cords. Can't help myself.

[Sliver]

Originally Posted by malcolmk14

If I'm on a narrow side street and some guy in a big Ford F-350 taking up 3/4 of the road comes towards me, I sit there in my Cavalier until he backs up and pulls over so I can go by. I'm not the one with the gigantic car on a tiny road, jerkface, you are!

It's that brave strategic approach that made you one of the stars of the Wannamaker era, Malcolm.

[Puppet Guy]

if I'm getting off a crowded C-Train and someone makes no effort to clear the doorway for people I'll drop my heel right on top of their foot (where foot meets shin).

[malcolmk14]

Originally Posted by MrMastodonFarm

I've stopped being patient with people as I'm exiting the ctrain and they're trying to get on. If they are too close to the entrance while I'm trying to exit and don't give people a route out, I'll make my own.

Absolutely one of the most infuriating things that happens on such a regular basis.

If there's no room for me to get off the train, I'm coming off anyway unless it's an elderly or handicapped person, or a child under 10 blocking the door.

[bradster57]

^^ I do both of those moves too.

A few years ago at the Chinook underground parking, I saw a car taking 2 spots. Normally it wouldn't bother me but it was Saturday and there wasn't a spot to be had in the entire parking lot. So I squeezed in as tight as I could next to this car making it physically impossible to get into his car. I had to get out of my car through the passenger door.

Probably deservingly, he left me a nasty note when I got back.

[VladtheImpaler]

Originally Posted by CaptainCrunch

Wiping my junk on a girls hair as I reach for my pants and shoes for the sprint to the door.

fyp

[malcolmk14]

I don't know if I'm necessarily an a-hole I just believe that society functions better when people act within certain norms and don't inconvenience other people when they choose to do something outside of the standards of society.

Parking on the line, well, you're violating a standard of conduct and you can deal with the consequences of what happens when someone parks next to you.

Driving a huge vehicle that crosses the centre-line on a road, again, deal with the consequences of having a huge vehicle.

Driving a convertible on the highway, well, there are unknown elements like fluids from other cars and other things that can and do happen. Deal with it.

Drove to the end of the left lane on Crowchild and expect to get in front of me to get onto Eastbound Glenmore? I don't think so buddy.

If I can help teach people these simple lessons and thereby make society function just a tiny bit more efficiently, I'm happy with that.

[Misterpants]

Apparently I do the "A-hole" laugh. Here's how it works...

Someone makes a minor joke at someone else's expense. You laugh harder than you really should which:

a) makes the person who is the butt of the joke feel much shame
b) makes the teller of the joke feel bad for telling the joke
c) makes the butt of the joke even madder at the teller of the joke because you can usually incite others to laugh harder than they normally would too.

Win-win-win.

[Bring_Back_Shantz]

Somtimes I kill cats.

[CaptainCrunch]

Originally Posted by Misterpants

Apparently I do the "A-hole" laugh. Here's how it works...

Someone makes a minor joke at someone else's expense. You laugh harder than you really should which:

a) makes the person who is the butt of the joke feel much shame
b) makes the teller of the joke feel bad for telling the joke
c) makes the butt of the joke even madder at the teller of the joke because you can usually incite others to laugh harder than they normally would too.

Win-win-win.

I take that a step further, I will make sure that I tell a terrible joke and follow it up with a really insincere phony laugh.

[Muffins]

When I see a d-bag on the road weaving around people behind me i'll slow down to match the speed of the car beside me so he has nowhere to go. If a middle finger comes my way, I give them a thumbs up and a big smile.

Originally Posted by CaptainCrunch

Wiping my junk on a girls curtains as I reach for my pants and shoes for the sprint to the door.

i'd say that's a lot better then some of the alternatives......like their cat