lol at Canucks fan and self-professed practitioner of the art of ####oldry, Blaster86, just not getting it.
People have sex all the time, in and out of relationships. The issue here is the lies and deception that accompanied that sex, not to mention subjecting their respective partners to risk of disease wrongfully and without their consent.
Given that betrayal, I think the OP is justified in asking how he should respnd. My advice is to stay out of it if you can. If you can't, and they drag you in to it, you'll need to think about which friends in the group mean the most to you, including considering their respective characters, in the event you have to choose.
__________________
The great CP is in dire need of prunes!
"That's because the productive part of society is adverse to giving up all their wealth so you libs can conduct your social experiments. Experience tells us your a bunch of snake oil salesman...Sucks to be you." ~Calgaryborn 12/06/09 keeping it really stupid!
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to fatso For This Useful Post:
Mostly everyone here seems to be providing some blanket statement as a solution to your problem Titan.
Why don't you evaluate the situation given your circumstantial perspective?
If this friend was aware of how his actions would negatively affect the husbands of the wives he slept with, there is an intent of malevolence in my opinion. He may argue that he wasn't, in which case I would suggest he is full of #### or gravely mentally lapsed.
I assume you are familiar enough with these couples to accurately gauge the impact this had on them (whether it be there emotional well-being or sexual health) and assess your friends level of culpability accordingly.
So, if the marriages were open relationships, who cares. Otherwise, apply your discretion as you see fit.
I had a friend cheat on his girlfriend at the time and ended up passing along herpes. The woman that this happened to is one of the sweetest, most dedicated, and loving people I had known.
It was tough, since I had been friends with him for the longest time with him. It came upon me that he hadn't properly anticipated the health related consequences of his actions. Long story short, I didn't find any serious known grievance on his part and forgave him.
Last edited by something; 03-03-2012 at 10:29 AM.
The Following User Says Thank You to something For This Useful Post:
All you can do is support everyone and make sure you don't get too close to what you don't agree with in all of it.
I have nothing but respect for you for wanting to remain friends in this difficult situation. You may not agree with everything, but you are loyal which says something about your character. Most people now days don't have your integrity.
Ignore all the people who want to get dirt because it is just their immaturity showing.
The Following User Says Thank You to Playfair For This Useful Post:
Having a #### is also a basic human function. Why then should my friend get mad if I take a dump on his wife's chest? Just because an urge is normal doesn't mean their aren't consequences. If I have a biological urge to eat the sub you just purchased, shouldn't I be able too?
The Following User Says Thank You to Street Pharmacist For This Useful Post:
To me, this is pretty much the worst thing a man can do to another friend. I personally wouldn't discard the guy as a friend, but the level of friendship I had with him would certainly be dropped down a few notches. I just couldn't bring myself to trust a guy who does that, and when you can't trust a friend with something as major as that, what kind of friend is he?
Morality and sex are ridiculous. No harm no foul. No one gets hurt, and if there is emotional hurt, again, that is a "them" problem. Let them handle their own problems, remain friends with both.
Edit - Puckluck has it ri Puckluck has it rig Puckluck has it cor. Nope, can't type it
Wow. Pure ethical egoism. Whether you agree with it or not, some people attach emotion to sex. If these people had agreed to an open relationship prior to the marriage, then fine no foul, but you have people who have sworn an oath of fidelity and flat out betrayed someone else's trust. Hell, if the two people involved had told their respective spouses ahead of time what the plan was, that would've been fine because at least it would've been honest.
It's just a giant ###### canoe move. If you love and respect someone, you don't intentionally commit acts that will hurt them.
Having a #### is also a basic human function. Why then should my friend get mad if I take a dump on his wife's chest? Just because an urge is normal doesn't mean their aren't consequences. If I have a biological urge to eat the sub you just purchased, shouldn't I be able too?
No kidding. You can justify a lot of horrible things with the "natural instinct" argument.
Having a #### is also a basic human function. Why then should my friend get mad if I take a dump on his wife's chest? Just because an urge is normal doesn't mean their aren't consequences. If I have a biological urge to eat the sub you just purchased, shouldn't I be able too?
haha our world would be immensely more interesting if we all behaved a little more like animals... just unleashing on biological impulses.
Originally I laughed at Blaster's first post because I thought he was joking... but then I read on in amazement that he was being serious. Then I remembered... oh yeah... this is the guy that likes Transformers movies.
*cue response about a machine swinging a tree or some crap.
The Following User Says Thank You to Mr.Coffee For This Useful Post:
They are all your friends. So continue to be their friend and stay out of their business otherwise. But picking sides and/or getting involved is the worst course of action you can take.
I was good friends with a couple (met the guy first) and when they broke up, the guy took issue I still referred to his ex-girlfriend as my friend. I made it pretty clear that the person who makes me pick sides is going to be on the losing end of it. He accepted that, and we're still good friends to this day.
To me, this is pretty much the worst thing a man can do to another friend. I personally wouldn't discard the guy as a friend, but the level of friendship I had with him would certainly be dropped down a few notches.
That's a "them" problem. #### it. People are gonna have sex, don't worry about it. Let the good times roll imo. Never understand why sex is such a big deal. Open relationships agogo baby.
Easy to say sex is no big deal when you're not having any
I honestly don't see how this situation can work out without you having to totally cut off some people. From the perspective of 2 people here, the others have totally ruined their lives.
I'd find it very strange if your group of buddies did not ostrasize the friend how slept with the other guys wife on their own. I think this is a decision that will get made for you.
Easy to say sex is no big deal when you're not having any
nah... he touched his buddy's lady's boob by accident once, so he's clearly liberated and the rest of us are all repressed with respect to sex and, well, human nature.
To be fair, though, given he's a Canucks fan we should all be glad he didn't try to bite said boob or pull her hair. I mean, Blaster86 does have SOME limits.
__________________
The great CP is in dire need of prunes!
"That's because the productive part of society is adverse to giving up all their wealth so you libs can conduct your social experiments. Experience tells us your a bunch of snake oil salesman...Sucks to be you." ~Calgaryborn 12/06/09 keeping it really stupid!
Regardless of what you do, this situation will probably affect your friendship. Your opinion or trust with either person involved will likely be negatively affected. Ultimately though, give it time. Time does heal things sometimes. Whether or not you want to continue being friends is up to you. If you do, act natural, act like you normally do. In this way, the other people don't find that you are judging them. Friendships, relationships, and trust go hand in hand. People make mistakes. It's up to you whether or not you deem them acceptable or not. If it doesn't really involve you, it shouldn't affect you too much. Those couples though...i do wonder whether or not they will reconcile, or if the couples could ever hang out again. I couldn't imagine what i would do if my significant other slept with one of my friends. Probably go on a pretty sizable bender. Well, just be glad it didn't happen to you
