My wife and I are attempting to potty train our son, who is 32 months old.
We've let him free ball around the house for the past few months and he goes to to pee in the potty all by himself, without even having to tell us, but as soon as he needs to poop, he asks us for a diaper.
When we ask if he wants to poop on the potty instead, he FREAKS and starts crying and throwing a tantrum.
I've tried the non pressure approach; tried sitting him on both the potty, the toilet with a baby seat attachment, and on just the toilet seat; bribing with chocolate, and even bringing the iPad to keep him busy while on the throne, but it is not getting us anywhere at all.
He does the typical walk to the corner and hides while pinching one in his diaper, without any problems, and he doesn't seem to go through any pain while pooping, so we are not sure why he fears doing it on the potty, especially when he is very comfortable with peeing there.
I'm not a parent and I don't even really like kids, but what about starting by giving him the diaper and getting him sit on the potty with it to do his business. Get him used to sitting on it first maybe?
Edit: I guess he already sits on it fine to pee, I have no idea in that case.
Our daughter was the opposite. She had no problem dropping kids off, but peeing was her issue. It just got to the point where when we knew she had to go, we'd park her on that potty and she wasn't allowed off till she went. I remember her sitting there for probably an hour with her face just about turning purple and her legs squeezed together a couple times. Finally she'd just give up. We'd just praise the hell out of her and shower her with smarties and she just slowly gave in to the routine.
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It took our oldest boy a while to drop deuces in the toilet. He wasn't scared to like yours, but he just wouldn't do it. He was stubborn and we had to bribe him with treats. He just took a while. Our 2nd boy is doing good with it.
Boys, in general, take longer to potty train than girls do. Don't sweat it. He'll do it when he's ready.
What I describe below has mostly worked for our 2 year old boy-girl twins (he had zero interest in anything to do with the potty before we started and she was a little further along but not poopint). It took us about 4 days. This is not for the feint of heart/single person who hasn't been in the trenches.
Spoiler!
Pick a time when you are available to not leave your home for a few days in a row and make a production of getting all of the diapers out of the house (this is as much to prevent you from regressing as it is him). Turn the heat up and have him in underwear so you can see exactly what's going on. He'll have accidents but that's part of it - don't make a big deal about them, just clean up, take him back to his room to get new underwear and start again.
Throughout the day, you tell him every 15 minutes or so to tell you if he has to use the potty. You are not to ask him if he needs to go because a toddler will tend to say no and the point is to make it be his decision.
Anyway, if he's pee trained already, the hard part is passed because he already can use the toilet, he just doesn't. Taking away his diapers (and only place he's ever pooped) will probably force him to poop his pants but in the grand scheme, it's not that much different than the alternative. Be patient and keep a keen eye on him and when he starts straining, you scoop him to the potty. He'll probably stop and may well end up holding it in for a day or two but eventually you'll catch him mid-poop. Scoop him, run to the potty and have him finish there, even if half ends up in his underwear. If anything falls in the toilet, big deal and big treats.
This means no diapers at naps, bed time, whatever because he will wait you out if he knows there are diapers available. Prepare to clean up messes and be woken in the night with wet beds. You can help with the sheets by using pads on top of the bed sheets.
It sucks but it worked my kids and their 2.5 year old cousin, all in the same week.
We experienced the EXACT same situation as the OP with our son when he was also 2 and 1/2. It was tough for us because potty training went so easy with his sister, our first child.
We tried everything .... Pretty much just like the OP. It really seemed he was just scared of pooping on the toilet, which was odd, given he peed on it all the time.
Out of desperation, I created a "Special" diaper just for him. I made a huge deal of it. It was just a diaper with the butt cut out of it. When my son asked for a diaper, we used the new special diaper and went to sit on the toilet instead of hide in the corner. At first he protested a bit (but nothing like the screaming of trying before) but he sat and pooped! It took one more time after that with the special diaper, but he learned through those 2 experiences that using the toilet was not to be feared. From then on, he asked for the toilet instead of the diaper. From there, it was just a couple months of the typical training accidents.
During the entire time, there was tons of positive encouragement and rewards. Regrettably, the was some negative pressure too, when emotion got the better of my wife and I. Really try to stay as positive as possible; it's the only thing that works at that age.
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tell her to draw a picture of you holding a gun shooting monsters. Child Services will take her from your home. It might scare the crap out of her. Perhaps they will put her on the potty at the same time.
(note: You might get strip searched with this strategy)
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My 2.5 year old won't drop a deuce in the potty.
