My wife & I are separating - Page 10 - Calgarypuck Forums - The Unofficial Calgary Flames Fan Community

Wormius · 01-02-2012, 06:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CaptainCrunch

Set her up on a date with me, I'll destroy her confidence and self esteem, destroy her and turn her into a lesbian.

And I'll do it for free.

Lesbian? That won't work. Bisexual would be better. More options for re-marriage and minimize spousal support payments.

Dion · 01-02-2012, 06:22 PM

If she went behind your back you should expect nasty divorce proceedings. Lawyer up and make sure you take her to the cleaners. Anyone who would serve divorce papers on NYE is bottom feeding scum.

The kids are going to get hurt emotionaly by this.

CaptainCrunch · 01-02-2012, 06:22 PM

Lesbian's can get married in Canada, the effect would be the same.

J pold · 01-02-2012, 06:27 PM

Yup. I'm never getting married.

grizz29 · 01-02-2012, 06:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by J pold

Yup. I've never getting married.

Never getting married or having kids!

Wormius · 01-02-2012, 06:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CaptainCrunch

Lesbian's can get married in Canada, the effect would be the same.

Smaller population to draw from. Re-marriage could take forever.

Superfraggle · 01-02-2012, 06:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wormius

Smaller population to draw from. Re-marriage could take forever.

He's going to crush her, then turn her to the other side. Naturally, given the state he plans to leave her in, she will manage to turn her first few female lovers back towards the straight team. Net win for team straight!

Doesn't help the spousal support, I guess, but his options become more plentiful.

Wormius · 01-02-2012, 06:54 PM

So, more to the topic, how does spousal support work when the husband and wife have salaries that are comparable or are in a pole-position style where each will at some point make more than their former partner and kind of continue in a alternating pattern of who has the higher salary.

Bane · 01-02-2012, 06:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CrazyCaper

Update to this thread...

Got served with divorce papers on New Years Eve!! I was under the impression that we could resolve our differences through mediation but she ended up doing this behind my back. Not sure what my next move should be.

Any suggestions? Reasonable ones?

Thanks,
CrazyCaper

Honestly, it wouldn't matter when the divorce papers were served, it would still hurt regardless. So put the fact that it happened on NYE out of your mind.

The crux of the situation is that it takes two people and lots of hard work on both their parts to repair/save a relationship. By serving you papers, the odds of reconciliation at this point are slim to none. Not impossible mind you, but very unlikely. It will depend on how willing she is to discuss the situation.

If she pursues the divorce to its conclusion, then hopefully she will be reasonable and make it an amicable split and process, however, for your own sake you should find a good lawyer to consult with/retain in case things turn ugly.

Hang in there, lad!

Bane

troutman · 01-02-2012, 07:33 PM

Being served divorce papers does not mean you are headed to court necessarily. It could be all she wants from the court is a divorce, and you will resolve all other matters in a settlement. Court also allows each of you to demand full financial disclosure from each other.

Not very nice to serve on NYE.

CrazyCaper · 01-02-2012, 07:46 PM

There's more to the story than I've told...
We've been separated for just over a year. About 6 months ago, her boyfriend moved in and they live in my house with my kids and his kids too!! In all honesty, I just want to off-load the house, get shared custody of the kids and try and move on with my life. Some tough slugging ahead though!!! Thanks for the kind words guys/girls. They are appreciated.

Clarkey · 01-02-2012, 08:11 PM

How did she think that living arrangment is a good idea??

Northendzone · 01-02-2012, 08:12 PM

Yikes, what a messy situation for all the kids involved, if it makes you feel any better, this relationship is likely headed for a train wreck, hopefully your kids are spared the mess.

Remember, your family (you and your kids) are your priority, make sure you take care of that first.

pylon · 01-02-2012, 08:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CrazyCaper

There's more to the story than I've told...
We've been separated for just over a year. About 6 months ago, her boyfriend moved in and they live in my house with my kids and his kids too!! In all honesty, I just want to off-load the house, get shared custody of the kids and try and move on with my life. Some tough slugging ahead though!!! Thanks for the kind words guys/girls. They are appreciated.

I certainly hope, you are not putting a nickel towards that mortgage. There are some things worth destroying your credit for, and that is one. In a million years, I would not pay the bills for some other a-hole and his kids, UNDER MY F'N ROOF.

GirlySports · 01-02-2012, 08:17 PM

so sad..

can I apologize somehow?

Vulcan · 01-02-2012, 08:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pylon

I certainly hope, you are not putting a nickel towards that mortgage. There are some things worth destroying your credit for, and that is one. In a million years, I would not pay the bills for some other a-hole and his kids, UNDER MY F'N ROOF.

I understand these feelings having gone through this crap before but this isn't a time to get angry and do something stupid. If he's paying the mortgage, that is going towards the support of his children. As others have said get a lawyer as soon as possible and get the property divided equably with terms of custody.

afc wimbledon · 01-02-2012, 08:43 PM

Its a hell of alot easier said than done, but the best way to survive a divorce is to let go of all of the ill feelings and just see it as a business contract negotiation.
The less pissed you are when you walk in to the lawyers office the less it will cost you.

Dion · 01-02-2012, 10:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CrazyCaper

There's more to the story than I've told...
We've been separated for just over a year. About 6 months ago, her boyfriend moved in and they live in my house with my kids and his kids too!! In all honesty, I just want to off-load the house, get shared custody of the kids and try and move on with my life. Some tough slugging ahead though!!! Thanks for the kind words guys/girls. They are appreciated.

You have a good attitude about the situation. The fact you have kids means you won't be able to get her out of your life. Make sure you deal with any anger issues you might have regarding her. In the end you're going to have to deal with her on an on going n basis until the kids have grown up and left home.

Issues might arise in the future where one or both of your kids might decide they don't want to visit thier mother anymore and live just with you. My sister went through a similar type divorce and encourged both my niece and nephew to spend time with thier father. Regardless of how she felt about her ex she felt it was necessary that her kids had both parents in thier lives.

Hope everything works out for you

MoneyGuy · 01-02-2012, 10:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by J pold

Yup. I'm never getting married.

Don't write off marriage. It can be great. I've been married for over 30 years and can recommend it when you're with the right person.

return to the red · 01-02-2012, 10:55 PM

Step 1 - Stop being the nice guy, I understand keeping it hospitable for the kids sake but it sounds as though she is throwing compassion out the window so it's time to stand up for yourself

Step 2 - Legal advice, it's never too early to talk with a lawyer yourself because things can go sideways very quickly

Step 3 - Get things signed as quickly as possible, the more people she talks to and the longer it drags out the sense of entitlement grows exponentially

Remember Bitches be Crazy