So..whats your best advice on parenthood

[T@T]

Originally Posted by the crispy badger

I just found out this morning that i'm going to become a dad for the first time at age 37, whats the best piece of advice you fathers are willing to give me?

Didn't read the whole thread and maybe it's been stated but ...just be yourself, no matter what people tell you you'll most likely end up teaching what you were taught.

I'm sure you were taught well.

[MikeMc]

Patience, find the humor in parenting (it's either laugh or cry a lot of the time) and keep the long term in mind (you aren't raising kids, you're raising adults).

[Bigtime]

Just keep your tv on Treehouse and start watching. Might as well get used to it now.

Plus you can start to formulate all sorts of behind the scenes stories and plots for the characters (did a hunter kill Max and Ruby's parents? Will Caillou ever die in a fire? Just what the heck is going on In the Night Garden? I think the main character is stranded at sea, and hallucinates the entire Night Garden every night to escape the prospect of his eventual death.).

[Russic]

Originally Posted by Bigtime

Just keep your tv on Treehouse and start watching. Might as well get used to it now.

Plus you can start to formulate all sorts of behind the scenes stories and plots for the characters (did a hunter kill Max and Ruby's parents? Will Caillou ever die in a fire? Just what the heck is going on In the Night Garden? I think the main character is stranded at sea, and hallucinates the entire Night Garden every night to escape the prospect of his eventual death.).

When my sister-in-law moved she told her daughter that Caillou stayed in Calgary. A tough ruse to keep burning, but absolutely worth it.

[photon]

#### the Night Garden. That is all.

[BigBrodieFan]

As a mom to two boys, here's what I have:

1) Tell your wife to have an epidural. People who want to do natural birth are crazy. I decided to do this and it was the dumbest most unbearably painful decision of my life. Tell her to take the drugs.

2) Don't let your baby sleep with you. Ever. Put a bassinet beside the bed for the first few months. If you have the baby in the bed, you will be constantly worried that you will crush the baby in your sleep and you will therefore get no sleep at all. Also, when the kid gets older it's creepy to have him/her in bed with you and if that keeps up, you will never have sex because your kid is in your bed or you'll be worried that the kid will climb in bed with you. This is true.

3) Get some gripe water. You can find this in a pharmacy. When you have a screaming baby with colic this helps soothe them.

4) As soon as the kid is old enough, get a lightweight folding stroller- so much easier to card around than those giant atrocities that block sidewalks and take three hours to take out/put in your trunk.

5) It's your business what religion you are and how you choose to guide them spiritually, but don't go over the top with the whole 'You'll go to hell if you do this or don't do that.' Answer questions the kid might have about religion as honestly as you can, and encourage questions.

6) Be honest with your kid. If they ask you if you've ever done anything wrong, don't be high and mighty. 'I got perfect grades' builds resentment, etc.

7) Let them try a variety of activities. If they want to try a musical instrument, let them. Sports, clubs, swimming..whatever. The more they are exposed to the better. It's always better to say 'Been there, tried that' then 'Never tried it before.'

8) Love them so much it hurts. Let them know you're their biggest advocate on the planet no matter what they do. Let them know you'll always be there for them, no matter what. And tell them you love them every day. That's the the best thing for any kid, if you ask me.

Congratulations!!!

[Bigtime]

Originally Posted by BigBrodieFan

As a mom to two boys, here's what I have:

1) Tell your wife to have an epidural. People who want to do natural birth are crazy. I decided to do this and it was the dumbest most unbearably painful decision of my life. Tell her to take the drugs.

I'm going to disagree with this point. You want us guys to tell our wives that have spent the last 9 months with a parasite inside of them (possibly making them sick and miserable) what to do with their own body when the time for labour comes?

We are expecting kid #2 in late June and once again the choice to use drugs or not during labour will be my wife's choice, and hers alone. I will be there to help her out in any way she wants (and if she asks my opinion at that time I will supply it).

The woman runs the show when it comes to childbirth. Sure you can talk about the birth plan beforehand, but as we found out the first time most of that "plan" goes right out the window in the heat of the moment, and I let my wife do what she wanted to have that baby.

[Bertuzzied]

Originally Posted by Bigtime

Just keep your tv on Treehouse and start watching. Might as well get used to it now.

Plus you can start to formulate all sorts of behind the scenes stories and plots for the characters (did a hunter kill Max and Ruby's parents? Will Caillou ever die in a fire? Just what the heck is going on In the Night Garden? I think the main character is stranded at sea, and hallucinates the entire Night Garden every night to escape the prospect of his eventual death.).

Make sure you don't let them watch too much treehouse or tv though. A couple of my friend's kids who are 3 and 4 years old need glasses already, because thats all their parents did. They let their tv babysit their kids.

I let my son watch 20 minutes of tv 3 times a week. He seems to really appreciate the tv alot more and is pretty well behaved at home. now when we go out, thats another story.

[BigBrodieFan]

Originally Posted by Bigtime

I'm going to disagree with this point. You want us guys to tell our wives that have spent the last 9 months with a parasite inside of them (possibly making them sick and miserable) what to do with their own body when the time for labour comes?

We are expecting kid #2 in late June and once again the choice to use drugs or not during labour will be my wife's choice, and hers alone. I will be there to help her out in any way she wants (and if she asks my opinion at that time I will supply it).

The woman runs the show when it comes to childbirth. Sure you can talk about the birth plan beforehand, but as we found out the first time most of that "plan" goes right out the window in the heat of the moment, and I let my wife do what she wanted to have that baby.

It was just a little joke to start the advice... sorry

[Bigtime]

Originally Posted by BigBrodieFan

It was just a little joke to start the advice... sorry

No need to apologize, I was just presenting the view from the guys side of that. I don't want to end up in the doghouse before the baby is even born!

My wife and I did talk about all of that stuff months before the due date, she wanted to try and keep the birth as natural as possible. Perhaps a little gas or something at the most to help with the pain, well that all went out the window when the gas made her vomit, a few minutes after that she was asking for the epidural and we were in business.

I was impressed watching the doctor come in and set that epidural up in mere minutes. Dude earns his paycheque with skills like that.

[kootenayguy9]

Originally Posted by Bigtime

Just keep your tv on Treehouse and start watching. Might as well get used to it now.

Plus you can start to formulate all sorts of behind the scenes stories and plots for the characters (did a hunter kill Max and Ruby's parents? Will Caillou ever die in a fire? Just what the heck is going on In the Night Garden? I think the main character is stranded at sea, and hallucinates the entire Night Garden every night to escape the prospect of his eventual death.).

I would say instead get used to Disney Junior. I can tolerate that channel more than Treehouse.

[freedogger]

Originally Posted by kootenayguy9

I would say instead get used to Disney Junior. I can tolerate that channel more than Treehouse.

My 4 year old doesn't even no what commercials are. We were away over Christmas and they started yelling at us to fix the tv when some came on. Just a handful of movies is all they have ever seen.

[photon]

Lol that's funny, my kid's the same way, doesn't understand that the shows are on the PVR, so when we're somewhere with only "live" TV, he still doesn't get why you can't pick and choose.

[afc wimbledon]

Originally Posted by BigBrodieFan

As a mom to two boys, here's what I have:

1) Tell your wife to have an epidural. People who want to do natural birth are crazy. I decided to do this and it was the dumbest most unbearably painful decision of my life. Tell her to take the drugs.

2) Don't let your baby sleep with you. Ever. Put a bassinet beside the bed for the first few months. If you have the baby in the bed, you will be constantly worried that you will crush the baby in your sleep and you will therefore get no sleep at all. Also, when the kid gets older it's creepy to have him/her in bed with you and if that keeps up, you will never have sex because your kid is in your bed or you'll be worried that the kid will climb in bed with you. This is true.

3) Get some gripe water. You can find this in a pharmacy. When you have a screaming baby with colic this helps soothe them.

4) As soon as the kid is old enough, get a lightweight folding stroller- so much easier to card around than those giant atrocities that block sidewalks and take three hours to take out/put in your trunk.

5) It's your business what religion you are and how you choose to guide them spiritually, but don't go over the top with the whole 'You'll go to hell if you do this or don't do that.' Answer questions the kid might have about religion as honestly as you can, and encourage questions.

6) Be honest with your kid. If they ask you if you've ever done anything wrong, don't be high and mighty. 'I got perfect grades' builds resentment, etc.

7) Let them try a variety of activities. If they want to try a musical instrument, let them. Sports, clubs, swimming..whatever. The more they are exposed to the better. It's always better to say 'Been there, tried that' then 'Never tried it before.'

8) Love them so much it hurts. Let them know you're their biggest advocate on the planet no matter what they do. Let them know you'll always be there for them, no matter what. And tell them you love them every day. That's the the best thing for any kid, if you ask me.

Congratulations!!!

I have to agree, my ex swore by it, a few swigs calmed her right down, didn't do butkus for the baby though.

[Flamesoholic]

Originally Posted by Bigtime

No need to apologize, I was just presenting the view from the guys side of that. I don't want to end up in the doghouse before the baby is even born!

My wife and I did talk about all of that stuff months before the due date, she wanted to try and keep the birth as natural as possible. Perhaps a little gas or something at the most to help with the pain, well that all went out the window when the gas made her vomit, a few minutes after that she was asking for the epidural and we were in business.

I was impressed watching the doctor come in and set that epidural up in mere minutes. Dude earns his paycheque with skills like that.

Yeah I did the same thing. We had been going to some classes before our son was born and had decided between the 2 of us that I would try (try) to go as long as possible without meds as I could (silly broad). Well I ended up being 10 days overdue and had to be induced. Well that crap makes labour hit you like a fricking freight train to your tender bits and after 5 hours of constant 30 second contractions with 30 second breaks and no gas (cause they ran out with the patient before me), I was BEGGING for the drugs.
Once that doctor rushed in and spoke those beautiful words, "I'm here to give you your epidural" and had it done mere minutes later, it was relief I didn't know was even possible. After another 18 hours of labour with no results, my boy was delivered by emerg c-section (had the cord wrapped 2x around both legs). I'm not sure how I would have been able to get through that without the epidural. Marvellous things they are. I completely admire women who can go through labour and delivery without any drugs by choice, but I'm happy with the choice I made.

TL;DR epidurals are awesome. Support your wife if she asks for one.

Skip forward 5 months and now my little man is teething. Does anyone have any good advice for that? We've got Camilia Teething Liquid, but does anyone have better suggestions? We've been told he's still a little young to give ibuprofen which they say would work better than tylenol.

[Bigtime]

Originally Posted by Flamesoholic

Skip forward 5 months and now my little man is teething. Does anyone have any good advice for that? We've got Camilia Teething Liquid, but does anyone have better suggestions? We've been told he's still a little young to give ibuprofen which they say would work better than tylenol.

Have you tried putting some of those teething toys in the fridge or freezer to cool them down? Our daughter loved that when she was teething.

[billybob123]

Originally Posted by Flamesoholic

Skip forward 5 months and now my little man is teething. Does anyone have any good advice for that?

We had the refrigerated rubber-ish teething rings. They seemed to "help" but basically teething is the "hold on and hope" and then get frustrated two weeks later when it all starts again.

[red sky]

My baby girl is going to be 6 weeks old on Thursday. Crazy, it is amazing how fast it goes. My only advice I can give you is to do what you have to do to survive. The first while you'll be exhausted, no doubt, so if the baby isn't sleeping well on his/her own then try co-sleeping. Don't worry too much about what other people are doing as your child will no doubt be different. We need to supplement our baby with formula *gasp* as my wife doesn't have enough fat in her milk. You do what you have to do. Congrats and best of luck! Those little buggers will test your patience and as someone mentioned earlier, you won't get much of a reward at the beginning. Our baby is just starting to smile, and it makes everything worth while. Rhyming is fun!

[socktape]

we used a tablet that we got from a health food store for teething.. seemed to do the trick.. add a couple crushed tablets to water.

[Russic]

To piggy-back on what Flamesoholic and red sky said:

- If your wife is induced the epidural shouldn't be much of a discussion (imo). My wife was induced and we failed to understand exactly how bad it would be to go without. The doctor even tore a bit of a strip off the nurse who induced us for not explaining further. In the end it was our mistake to make, but a gentle reminder would have been cool.

- I'm shocked at how many people have problems breast-feeding. There are many nurses who will understand, and there are many who will basically try to make your wife cry if her body isn't reacting. It blew my mind how many have the attitude that not being able to breast feed is because you aren't trying hard enough. If you have to supplement with formula don't let a**holes get you down. Yes breast-feeding is better but don't let the boob nazis sink their teeth too far into you.