I could give you all kinds of advise but it would be pointless, in a few months time you will discover that your wife/girlfriend is actually going to make all the decisions and your job is to smile and go along with it, best bet is to put a heater and a TV in the garage/workshop/garden shed.
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Having just had a 2 year old with one of those hyperventilate crying meltdowns because they didn't want to nap. SCREAM FATA ALOT. I actually had to sit there and hold his eyes closed with my fingers until he fell asleep.
One thing I can never figure out is that kids hate sleep more than death.
Also, they come out of the womb about a year and a half too early. They are totally not done yet when you get it. Can't even hold up its own goddam head, like what the fata! What kind of useless mammal comes out so bloody useless. Bloody giraffe can walk within minutes. Stupid humans.
Damn woman and their tiny vagina's, if they were bigger they could carry the kid until they could walk and then drop em.
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My name is Ozymandias, King of Kings;
Make sure mommy gets lots of sleep and rest. A rested mommy is a happy mommy. A happy daddy doesn't exist if there isn't a happy mommy.
Ugh! My wife totally didn't want me to take 8 months off on parental leave, but I did. The only stipulation is that this time i do the night shift 1am to 9am. I figured easy, piece of cake.....
I CAN'T WAIT TO GET BACK to work! I haven't had more than 6 hours sleep for the past 2 months and average about 3.5. While my wife has slept through the nite since day 2.
Also, they come out of the womb about a year and a half too early. They are totally not done yet when you get it. Can't even hold up its own goddam head, like what the fata! What kind of useless mammal comes out so bloody useless. Bloody giraffe can walk within minutes. Stupid humans.
I could give you all kinds of advise but it would be pointless, in a few months time you will discover that your wife/girlfriend is actually going to make all the decisions and your job is to smile and go along with it, best bet is to put a heater and a TV in the garage/workshop/garden shed.
spare the rod, spoil the child. I've actually never had cause to discipline my kid like this, but don't let that stop you if you feel it is appropriate..
Never underestimate what your child is capable of. Fear and poor self esteem are learned.
Actions speak much louder than words when raising a kid. Your child will copy everything you do, so if you want them to be awesome, start acting awesome first.
Don't let your wife/girl believe anything she reads on the internet because the internet is stupid and wrong. Find what works for you and go with it. Kids don't care what the experts say, if he likes chocolate and ketchup, he is going to eat it.
Routine is king. It's like young kids can't handle surprises until they are 5 or 6. They love knowing what is going to happen next.
Try and remember that you can spoil children by giving them too many things but you can rarely spoil children by giving them too much love.
Keep this in mind in the early years. My guy is 22 months...toys are great, but only because he can lure dad to play with some of them. He's happiest when his parents are engaged with him.
As another older person when my first kid was born...get in shape, and put yourself thru military calibre mental stress tests. If it's a boy you'll need a lot of energy...and as you be sexually deprived, and mentally stresses you will have days where you want to snap, and you can't, at least not at the kid. Save it for that co-worker you don't like, or an ex wife, or dbag neighbor.
But going to your job will seem like a vacation at times, and there are moments where that little one holds onto you where you know there isn't anything in the world you value more than this little boy of yours.
__________________ "Some guys like old balls"
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The best advice I think is that you're already a better parent than you think. Trust your instincts on what to do/what not to do, what's dangerous or safe, what is appropriate for your kid, what their individual needs are, etc. It's a lot harder to screw up than you'd think, assuming you're a relatively normal adult - most kids do in fact live long enough to become adults themselves.
My little guy is just about 4 months old now. I'll be brutally honest - the first 2 months are pretty rough. Up every couple of hours in the night, feeding, ####ting, etc. You'll be extremely tired (as will your wife), and there isn't a lot that you'll be getting back from the baby. It will feel extremely frustrating and unrewarding.
Then... they start recognizing you, smiling at you, laughing, and getting into a bit of a routine. And you won't be quite as tired either. The baby will turn a corner at 2-3 months and things will get a whole lot more manageable and enjoyable.
second, as the father of a 4, 2.5 and 9 month old, and around the same age, I will offer the following advice.
enjoy sleeping in now, because you won't get to do it again until you are old
stuff changes after the baby comes. You can prepare all you want, but everything changes and you can't understand until it happens. Prepare for that
Minivans are not bad things, especially after the first kid. THere is comfort in knowing that you can toss the kids in the van while loading the car seat for the youngest, and the kids are not loose in a parking lot
what your wife's body will go through is nuts. Wait for the day you see her walk with one leg pointed sideways because her hips shift. It happens around 8 months or so. It looks freaky and looks like it hurts.
Epidurals are your friend. THere are no heros in there. Get your wife to get one.
At the delivery, you are a complete afterthought/inconvenience for the hospital staff. Plan for that.
find out early where to go park at the hospital. Seriously, it will take a lot of stress off your plate when the day comes.
Knocked up isn't that far off from the truth on this
There is an entire industry built around paranoid first time parents. Every crib you look at will likely be recalled or deemed no longer safe by subsequent models. Same for strollers, toys, carseats, etc. You will spend a fortune. A good stroller or two are good investments though
Have fun and enjoy a laugh or two with the mom. It really is enjoyable.
congrats again
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"OOOOOOHHHHHHH those Russians" - Boney M
My little guy is just about 4 months old now. I'll be brutally honest - the first 2 months are pretty rough. Up every couple of hours in the night, feeding, ####ting, etc. You'll be extremely tired (as will your wife), and there isn't a lot that you'll be getting back from the baby. It will feel extremely frustrating and unrewarding.
Then... they start recognizing you, smiling at you, laughing, and getting into a bit of a routine. And you won't be quite as tired either. The baby will turn a corner at 2-3 months and things will get a whole lot more manageable and enjoyable.
Enjoy the next few years because at around 14 or 15 they become whining puking little pricks that keep you up a night again
None the less still think yourself lucky, girls at 13 become sobbing screaming wackjobs, you are stuck with that basically until some poor b###### takes her off your hands.
Last edited by afc wimbledon; 12-31-2011 at 03:23 AM.
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