So..whats your best advice on parenthood - Calgarypuck Forums - The Unofficial Calgary Flames Fan Community

the crispy badger · 12-30-2011, 09:23 AM

I just found out this morning that i'm going to become a dad for the first time at age 37, whats the best piece of advice you fathers are willing to give me?

CaptainCrunch · 12-30-2011, 09:39 AM

the 5 and 2 is your friend

burn_baby_burn · 12-30-2011, 09:39 AM

Say good bye to spare time.

Seriously, enjoy it. I try to treasure every moment with my kids. Sure there are trying times. However, being a parent is such a rewarding experience. Best advice? Soak it all in. Before you know it, you're little baby will be all grown up.

zuluking · 12-30-2011, 09:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by the crispy badger

I just found out this morning that i'm going to become a dad for the first time at age 37, whats the best piece of advice you fathers are willing to give me?

You're already doing it - soliciting advice from CalPuck.

You could also search CalPuck for all previous advice provided to prospective new dads...

MarchHare · 12-30-2011, 09:53 AM

On behalf of all your friends who do not have children of their own (they will thank me for this), I will offer the following piece of advice:

Don't talk about your kid all the damn time. Your friends (mostly) don't care. When you're together with your buddies, talk about sports or the news or movies or books or music or all the things you talk about now. Don't be one of those parents who won't shut up about their kid as if it was the only child that has ever been born.

keratosis · 12-30-2011, 09:56 AM

Take it easy, enjoy the moments. Before you know it they'll be grown up.

8sPOT · 12-30-2011, 09:56 AM

To get your mind and body ready for when baby comes, I suggest setting your alarm clock to go off at random intervals.

5am, 3am, 1:30am, try different combinations, some nights set it 4 or 5 times, some nights just once.

8sPOT · 12-30-2011, 09:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MarchHare

On behalf of all your friends who do not have children of their own (they will thank me for this), I will offer the following piece of advice:

Don't talk about your kid all the damn time. Your friends (mostly) don't care. When you're together with your buddies, talk about sports or the news or movies or books or music or all the things you talk about now. Don't be one of those parents who won't shut up about their kid as if it was the only child that has ever been born.

Easy for you to say, my kid is the fastest runner, quickest learner in the world. How can I not talk about the greatness that is my son?

The Yen Man · 12-30-2011, 09:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MarchHare

On behalf of all your friends who do not have children of their own (they will thank me for this), I will offer the following piece of advice:

Don't talk about your kid all the damn time. Your friends (mostly) don't care. When you're together with your buddies, talk about sports or the news or movies or books or music or all the things you talk about now. Don't be one of those parents who won't shut up about their kid as if it was the only child that has ever been born.

It's kind of like at work, when all your coworkers talk about their kids. I try to be nice and listen, but I honestly don't really care. Its nice once in awhile to listen to it, but seriously its ALL they talk about.

albertGQ · 12-30-2011, 10:01 AM

Congrats. You will enjoy it. Parenthood is the best thing that has ever happened to me. They're hard work and expensive. But when your son runs to the door when you're on your way out to work and says "I love you daddy. I don't want you to go to work. I want you to stay home with me and play". Your heart just melts

albertGQ · 12-30-2011, 10:02 AM

I try not to talk about my kids too much but I'm definately guilty of pulling out my iPhone to show people pics and videos of my kids. LOL

Titan · 12-30-2011, 10:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 8sPOT

Easy for you to say, my kid is the fastest runner, quickest learner in the world. How can I not talk about the greatness that is my son?

I have some really bad news. The paternity test came back and ...

Rathji · 12-30-2011, 10:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by albertGQ

I try not to talk about my kids too much but I'm definately guilty of pulling out my iPhone to show people pics and videos of my kids. LOL

I am the same. People in my office are really interested in my kids though, so they tend to ask about them all the time. Whenever they do, I suck them into checking out the latest photos.

As for the OP, this isnt the advice you came here looking for, but I will give it anyway.

Breastfeeding doesn't help after 6 months.
Breastfeeding reduces sex drive in most women.
You do the math.

As for actual advice about being a dad, I would say do everything you can to teach them all the time.

Almost everything I do with my kids has a purpose or something for them to learn. If I am playing with my kids, I go to my computer and teach them to type the alphabet, or get them to 'help' on a puzzle game on the wife's iPad. Challenge them and they will grow. Even my baby, I push her to do things all the time - like pushing her favorite toy a few inches out of her reach to encourage crawling or holding something just out of her reach to build eye hand coordination.

flamesfever · 12-30-2011, 10:24 AM

Before I had kids, I thought of having to make big long speeches to them, about how they should act, live etc. But once I had them, I realized that all I had to do was answer their questions. So be knowledgeable enough about yourself, as it applies to your own values and beliefs, to be able to guide them along what you consider to be the right path to living a good life. You should be aware that you are their role model, particularly in the early years.

I think normally, once you see them, the natural instincts kick in to love, protect and nurture them, to the best of your ability.

I also think you should keep in mind that, when you get old, your kids will be your main support system. So make sure you give them enough of your time, love and support while they are growing up, and it will return to you in spades. I know this from experience.

burn_baby_burn · 12-30-2011, 10:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MarchHare

On behalf of all your friends who do not have children of their own (they will thank me for this), I will offer the following piece of advice:

Don't talk about your kid all the damn time. Your friends (mostly) don't care. When you're together with your buddies, talk about sports or the news or movies or books or music or all the things you talk about now. Don't be one of those parents who won't shut up about their kid as if it was the only child that has ever been born.

Since the OP is 37, I'm assuming most of his friends already have kids. Its his turn to brag, since he has probably been in your shoes.

habernac · 12-30-2011, 10:34 AM

Louis CK is right, you will never have sex again.

The best piece of advice I have? Kids are all different. Listen to advice, mentally delete anything that doesn't apply to yours and enjoy.

MarchHare · 12-30-2011, 10:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by burn_baby_burn

Since the OP is 37, I'm assuming most of his friends already have kids. Its his turn to brag, since he has probably been in your shoes.

That's not necessarily a correct assumption these days. Statistically, most couples are waiting later in life to have children, and (particularly in the West) more and more people are choosing not to have children at all. I'm in my early 30s, and I have several friends in their late 30s/early 40s who do not have children.

Also, why should it be "his turn to brag"? Perhaps it should be his turn to show the world that not every parent is an insufferable bore who is only capable of discussing their children and nothing else.

Gobsgraham · 12-30-2011, 10:36 AM

Kids will do whatever you let them get away with. kids aren't bad. Their bad behaviours are because their parents are lazy and don't enforce the rules. I hate hearing people complain there kid won't stop climbing in to bed with them. Well...take the kid back to their own bed and stop complaining about it.

Other than that, have fun with them and enjoy them. Cherish their smiles and laughter. Nothing makes me happier than hearing my kids laughing hysterically.

redforever · 12-30-2011, 10:46 AM

Try and remember that you can spoil children by giving them too many things but you can rarely spoil children by giving them too much love.

There are very few things you are in control of so pick your battles.

And as others have said, they grow up far too quickly, so enjoy them while you can. Make memories today.....don't work too hard now thinking you will make memories tomorrow.....because none of us know what tomorrow might bring.

CaptainCrunch · 12-30-2011, 10:50 AM

Children makea good source of cheap labor making your weekends much less labor intensive.

Once they hit the age of 5 they can do rudementary labor like sanding, painting and light lifting

when they hit 7 lawn mowing, unsupervised car washing and clearing snow are realistic.

when they hit 10 its the bonus years. Light construction, full house painting, heavy lifting, tree removal are all possible.

at 12 to 15 they hit their stride, dry walling, garage construction and extremely heavy lifting are all part of developing a childs "Character"

Remember minimum wage does not apply to family members

Some key phrases to remember

Get me a beer son

My T.V. my shows

My house my rules

And the all encompassing, in my day