How much do YOU give as a wedding gift?

[karl262]

It really depends. A few people have said if its open bar and a nice venue, AND you are really good friends or relatives, then open your wallet for sure. I think $150 per person on the invite is a nice generous amount. If they are being stingy and making you pay for drinks, even a toonie bar or whatever, then maybe go a little less.

[Barnet Flame]

A couple of hundred bucks sounds reasonable. While I understand the 'cover your plate' points, what are you supposed to do if you get invited to some ridiculous over the top ostentatious wedding from hell?

If people want to piss tens of thousands of dollars down the drain, you shouldn't be expected to foot the bill.

[Rathji]

I think if you give what you can afford, then that is good.

For me, as a student these past few years, any weddings I have gone to have either involved no gift (or simply re-gifting something from my wedding) or $50 cash at most.

Now at my wedding, one lady gave us a god awful bent up candle holder and used candles. She was my wife's aunt, and living on next to nothing, so I certainly was not upset. That said, as a student, my wedding was financed by less than $2000 cash, including food and clothing (venue was free) - for about 100 people, so anyone who gave us ANYTHING probably was well above what we spent on the wedding.

[The Yen Man]

My standard for a good friend in the past would be $100 a person. So if I brought a date, it'd be $200. If it was any of my cousins, I'd probably double it, and if it was my brother, it'd probably be $2,000. Luckily I don't have too many weddings to go to, as all my close friends are a few cousins I grew up with, and I only have one brother.

[Robotic]

I've been to a couple weddings in the past few years, and I've always given $200 (from the girl and I). We've recently accepted going to a destination wedding next year. I'm wondering what would be acceptable to give if I'm already paying $2400 for 2 of us and a weeks time off from work to be able to go. To be honest I'm tempted to not give anything as we're expected to pay for ourselves to get there, and we're only friend and not family.

[Ace]

Originally Posted by Barnet Flame

A couple of hundred bucks sounds reasonable. While I understand the 'cover your plate' points, what are you supposed to do if you get invited to some ridiculous over the top ostentatious wedding from hell?

If people want to piss tens of thousands of dollars down the drain, you shouldn't be expected to foot the bill.

In this instance I would decline the invitation, and send them a gift I can afford with the RSVP stating I can't attend, but wish them congratulations (this is assuming it's not immidiate family, or a VERY close friend)

I always ensure I give cash, and at least the amount it cost for me and my spouse to attend the dinner. I remember what it is like starting out and I don't want anyone burdened after the wedding because of the costs of said wedding (even if it was their choice).

[Russic]

Originally Posted by Robotic

I've been to a couple weddings in the past few years, and I've always given $200 (from the girl and I). We've recently accepted going to a destination wedding next year. I'm wondering what would be acceptable to give if I'm already paying $2400 for 2 of us and a weeks time off from work to be able to go. To be honest I'm tempted to not give anything as we're expected to pay for ourselves to get there, and we're only friend and not family.

I wouldn't give a gift in this instance, but I'm realizing I fall on the cheaper side of the coin in comparison to a lot of the other posters. Must be all the guys pulling in $100,000/year!

[Barnet Flame]

Originally Posted by Ace

In this instance I would decline the invitation, and send them a gift I can afford with the RSVP stating I can't attend, but wish them congratulations (this is assuming it's not immidiate family, or a VERY close friend)

I always ensure I give cash, and at least the amount it cost for me and my spouse to attend the dinner. I remember what it is like starting out and I don't want anyone burdened after the wedding because of the costs of said wedding (even if it was their choice).

If it is such a burden - it is their choice - not yours. If they want to be overly lavish, it is up to them and it should not affect the size of the gift.

I don't understand such materialistic attitudes. Weddings aren't occasions that should be treated like balance sheets, they are meant to be about people getting married amongst the people they care about. If you don't care enough to be there - fine, but other than that, the whole point of it is being lost.

[jar_e]

I'm getting married in April and am not expecting a single penny. We saved up for the wedding, invited who we wanted, and we're just looking forward to celebrating everything. I'm not going to say no to gifts, but I am by no way expecting people to "cover their plate" or anything. Seems kind of ridiculous if that's what people are expecting when they have a wedding now.

[Barnet Flame]

Good luck - hope it goes well.

[Northendzone]

To me you should at least cover your food and drink and a little extra......also I'd say to most folks getting married that they should limit the guest list to folks that are meaningful in their lives, rather than inviting 500 people to your wedding.

I also think it is insane to drop tens of thousands on one day......

[taco.vidal]

Thanks for the responses everyone and feel free to keep them coming.

Like I mentioned, I haven't been to a wedding in a while. Most of my friends, and myself, could married within a window of a few years. Since then, Ive turned down a few wedding invites while still sending some "token" gifts where it wasn't realistic for me to attend.

My goal in "gifting" at a wedding has always been to cover the costs incurred and then enough to be left over for a gift for the bride and groom.

I could get into my views about the commercialization of weddings as a money making entity for couples but I received views points that gave me enough to think about.

[Pizza]

wow, im surprised at how high many of you have set the bar at $100 - $200

most weddings i`ve attended are friends who are also in their mid 20`s and money is alittle harder to come by

[puckluck]

Some of the figures in this thread are ridiculous. If I would listen to them I'd be tossing out $3000 or more a year just for weddings. Lebanese people invite pretty much anyone and everyone to their wedding. $50 a person is fine by me.

[BlackArcher101]

$50-$150 if I know the couple but not really an active friend. $300 if I'm close to the couple.

[stampsx2]

I rather stay home. I don't want to give ridiculous amounts of money for a wedding. I think it's crazy that parents have to give thousands of dollars of their hard earned money for a party. I find it equally crazy that I have to pay 2500 dollars/ per person to go to your wedding in the caribbean.

[IliketoPuck]

Originally Posted by albertGQ

We had a decent venue and open bar. The meal was $55/plate. One couple gave us $50 total.

Don't be that couple

We got married this summer. $60 per plate. Twoonie bar.

Family of 7, in addition to no gift, left us with bar tab at the end of the night.

Don't be that family.

[Pizza]

Originally Posted by IliketoPuck

We got married this summer. $60 per plate. Twoonie bar.

Family of 7, in addition to no gift, left us with bar tab at the end of the night.

Don't be that family.

ouch
friends not giving anything is one thing but having the immediate family stiff you on your wedding really sucks

[IliketoPuck]

We weren't too happy about it to say the least.

The rest of our friends and family were very generous, so it was more of a...."well we just won't be talking with them anytime soon."

[darklord700]

You guys are very generous. When I was working in the wedding industry, I've seen gifts ranging from salad bowl to soap dish.