I would make all the women in this thread http://forum.calgarypuck.com/showthread.php?t=97609 mine. Every single one of them... well maybe not the really ugly ones. I think as punishment, whoever posted ugly girl pics has to have that girl for eternity.
Outlaw all firearms except for hunting rifles. Want to defend your home? Buy a dog.
Extend hunting season to reduce the number of deer on the highway.
Legalize Marajuana. Release non violent possession offenders.
Create "pedophile island" and mandatory life sentences for child abusers. They're not evil, but they are sick, and it isn't something we can cure.
Tax religious institutions like every other institution.
Prohibit circumcision until the age of 18. Ditto for Tattoos and eyelid removal.
Strengthen DUI laws - 1st offense 6 months no driving. 2nd offense, never drive again.
Apply the Charter of Human Rights to religious institutions - you can't discriminate on the basis of gender or sexual orientation (i.e. prevent women priests)
Mandate (and fund) all public schools have at least one arts related (music, theatre, fine arts) and one physical education elective available to all students should they choose to take it.
Prohibit smoking within 50 feet of an entrance or exit to a building.
I'd be horrible, just brutal. Whenever I am overthrown I would be right up there with Hitler and Stalin in the history books. The atrocities I partake in would be things written in the history books for all of life.
But man, what a ride.
I can't wait 'til facistflamesfan thanks this post.
First thing - Shoot all the politicians
Second thing - Shoot all the lawyers
Third thing - Make Corporations and monopolies (including things like the 3 main phone companies in canada having an in effect monopoly) Illegal.
Followed by a long list slight alterations like making all drugs legal, but taxed. The more heavy drugs would be more heavily taxed. That way you save money by having nobody go to jail for possession/distribution, no crime lords, and you get the money to help treat people who want to kick the habit etc.
I'd pay Van Halen to reunite to make the greatest rock album of all time, then I'd print one copy for me and murder Van Halen, then sell the album on E-Bay for several billion Crunch bucks. I'd have Black Sabbath re unit and they'd follow me around as my personal theme song players, that theme song, "Its Raining Men"
Wow, some of you would be king for exactly 6 months before your people overthrew you and took back power.
Great long term plan you got going there. What ever happened to effective kings? Geez.
What are they going to do? Attack me with boards with nails in it? I have all the guns baby.
Further proclamations.
Angelina Jolie will be the royal foot stool
Every Sunday will officially be football Sunday, all antique shops, coffee shops, walmarts and bed bath and beyonds will be closed. Strip clubs will have buck a bucket specials by order of the king.
Children should be seen and not heard will no longer be a suggestion, it will be a royal proclamation.
There will be a yearly hunting season for journalists, politically motivated celebrities and anyone who uses the word irregardless. We need to thin the heard.
Anyone who dresses hipster, claims to have discovered independent bands before they got record deals, or d0uche bags who claim that Picard is better then kirk will be declared essential servants and be put to work cleaning free range dog parks and our massive natural fertilizer pit.
the user of the word bitches to describe woman in a friendly sense will be subject to summary road side executions.
__________________
My name is Ozymandias, King of Kings;
Look on my Works, ye Mighty, and despair!
Last edited by CaptainCrunch; 11-23-2011 at 11:12 PM.
If I were king I would immediately revoke my crown and give back the powers to the original leaders. Because being the king of everyone would be unfair.
