Lending friends and family money

[Table 5]

Originally Posted by DuffMan

destination weddings are stupid. It's like telling people we don't want anyone at our wedding.

And that's the beauty of them. Half of the people at your wedding you don't really give a crap about anyway, but feel obligated to invite because they would be slighted otherwise. A destination wedding ensures that a lot of the deadwood (ie the quasi-relatives that you never see anyway) don't end up costing you.

[Slava]

Originally Posted by TorqueDog

We're professionals, we don't exactly buy our business attire at Wal-Mart. It was the men's clothing store on the second level of Scotia Centre, beside West, before it relocated.

I barely even consider that lending money. I know it is, but I would do that kind of thing for sure. If we count that type of thing then I've lent money for family and friends fairly regularly....it might be a situation where I book concert tickets or sports tickets and its just easier to do on one credit card. You know the other people are good for it, its just the situation.

[Cecil Terwilliger]

Originally Posted by Table 5

And that's the beauty of them. Half of the people at your wedding you don't really give a crap about anyway, but feel obligated to invite because they would be slighted otherwise. A destination wedding ensures that a lot of the deadwood (ie the quasi-relatives that you never see anyway) don't end up costing you.

The problem though is that you are forcing numerous members of your family to pony up thousands of dollars to see you get married.

It puts an incredible strain on the relatives who are obligated to attend. My sister just tied the knot a year or two ago. If she'd said we're going to Hawaii, I'd have said "thanks, good luck. See you when you get back". I simply can't afford it. And then I'd look like the bad guy. If I'm going to be forced to spend $2k on a wedding it better be my own.*

*Because I know someone is just waiting to jump all over me for this comment...No I'm not an idiot, I know a wedding would cost more than $2k. Just trying to illustrate that the money could be better spent, like a real vacation of my own choosing or my own wedding or whatever. Also, I'm not a cheap ahole who hates his family, just that I definitely couldn't afford that kind of expense when my sis tied the knot.

[TorqueDog]

Originally Posted by Slava

I barely even consider that lending money. I know it is, but I would do that kind of thing for sure. If we count that type of thing then I've lent money for family and friends fairly regularly....it might be a situation where I book concert tickets or sports tickets and its just easier to do on one credit card. You know the other people are good for it, its just the situation.

It barely feels like lending money when you get it back the next day or in a relatively short period of time, I know what you mean.

[Swarly]

It all depends on the person. There are people I know that I would not lend $20 to unless it was a life or death kind of situation and expect that money to be gone. However I have a couple of other friends that I would and have lent to and borrowed from for multiple thousands of dollars for very frivolous items, including gambling and vacations.

With those friends it is more often the lendee that recalls the debt, many conversations of " here is the $300 I owe you" and the lender responding " when did I give you that?". Of course that is years and years of friendship, starting with $20 loans and building up a 'credit rating'.

Based on your comments of him living paycheck to paycheck and being an idiot with money you did make the correct choice.

[Rathji]

I once loaned a very large amount of money to a relative, for what seemed like a sure thing at the time, then I realized just how little some people value their family relations. I am still dealing with the aftermath of that screw up.

Small amounts, no problem, but as someone has already pointed out, don't loan something you can't afford to lose.

[afc wimbledon]

Originally Posted by Table 5

And that's the beauty of them. Half of the people at your wedding you don't really give a crap about anyway, but feel obligated to invite because they would be slighted otherwise. A destination wedding ensures that a lot of the deadwood (ie the quasi-relatives that you never see anyway) don't end up costing you.

Its also a huge favor to your mates as all of the brides maids, reasonably attractive aunts and any other random bints are drunk, emotional and have no homes to go to, basically fish in a barrel.

[3 Justin 3]

That is ridiculous. If one of my friends came to me and asked for a couple G's for a vacation that didn't even include me, knowing that he probably can't pay it off, then get upset? I'd slap them in the face and walk away.

What a monkey.