Anyone else have a psycho ex? - Page 4 - Calgarypuck Forums - The Unofficial Calgary Flames Fan Community

afc wimbledon · 10-10-2011, 04:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pizza

does anyone else get the feeling the OP has 3 or more kids?

It sounds kinda odd to refer use the term "Oldest" and "Youngest" when there's only 2 kids to mention

There is also the ex's kid, who is younger than his oldest, I assume 7 or 8 maybe, so thats 3 kids in this mess so far.

Sylvanfan · 10-10-2011, 04:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by afc wimbledon

There is also the ex's kid, who is younger than his oldest, I assume 7 or 8 maybe, so thats 3 kids in this mess so far.

The way I read it is that the mother of the first kid already had an older kid before they had dissent owners first kid. That women has since went back to Australia presumably with her other kid. He has this kid full time, and has partial custody of the younger one.

Really if you have two kids, what do you call them? Kid 1 and Kid2?

afc wimbledon · 10-10-2011, 04:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sylvanfan

The way I read it is that the mother of the first kid already had an older kid before they had dissent owners first kid. That women has since went back to Australia presumably with her other kid. He has this kid full time, and has partial custody of the younger one.

Really if you have two kids, what do you call them? Kid 1 and Kid2?

I think the current psycho ex he has just had his youngest with has a kid as well, so he has his two plus a 'step son'.

PIMking · 10-10-2011, 04:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by afc wimbledon

I never made any money in salaried positions but I have had a contract to house several 'disturbed' (mostly addicted criminally involved kids) and that I am very good at, I generally take kids that look like they will be a nightmare to live with and then calm them down and 'normalise' them over the course of a few years. It is the only way I have ever been able to 'fix' kids.

That's what he specialized in and drug abuse. He still works with clients.

dissentowner · 10-10-2011, 04:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Pizza

does anyone else get the feeling the OP has 3 or more kids?

It sounds kinda odd to refer use the term "Oldest" and "Youngest" when there's only 2 kids to mention

I only have two. She has a 7 year old son that I am not the father of. I have my 11 year old son and my 6 month old son.

afc wimbledon · 10-10-2011, 04:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dissentowner

I only have two. She has a 7 year old son that I am not the father of. I have my 11 year old son and my 6 month old son.

How long were you two together? how is her son dealing with it and how have you treated her son?, your step son, are you taking him out with your kids and acting like he is still part of your family or have you just dumped him like his mum?

dissentowner · 10-10-2011, 04:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by afc wimbledon

How long were you two together? how is her son dealing with it and how have you treated her son?, your step son, are you taking him out with your kids and acting like he is still part of your family or have you just dumped him like his mum?

I still do things with her son, yes. What do you mean just dumped him like his mom? Her and I mutually agreed it wasn't working. Are you honestly giving the advice it is better we stay together and fight and I will be miserable just because we share a child? Ya, eff that.

afc wimbledon · 10-10-2011, 04:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dissentowner

I still do things with her son, yes. What do you mean just dumped him like his mom? Her and I mutually agreed it wasn't working. Are you honestly giving the advice it is better we stay together and fight and I will be miserable just because we share a child? Ya, eff that.

No, I am trying to work out if she has gone psycho on you because her son is devastated he has lost his dad, because even if the 'adults' in this picture don't see it your kids were no doubt desperate for you guys to become a family for them.

And for the record, if you and she can stay together, not fight, be unhappy but give your kids a good family you should man the eff up and move back, once you have a kid, or 3 in this case your and her happiness is irrelevant.

simmonjam1 · 10-10-2011, 05:02 PM

Go to court, get everything legal. Try to get custody or split custody. Pay what you are mandated to the woman.

If she is really a nut, it is just as toxic to the child to be brought up in a situation where you two are constantly fighting or you are walking on eggshells to not piss her off. Just my opinion.

afc wimbledon · 10-10-2011, 05:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by simmonjam1

Go to court, get everything legal. Try to get custody or split custody. Pay what you are mandated to the woman.

If she is really a nut, it is just as toxic to the child to be brought up in a situation where you two are constantly fighting or you are walking on eggshells to not piss her off. Just my opinion.

This I would agree with, at the end of the day the question is 'what is best for the kids?' I managed 7 years in brutally bad marriage for my daughters sake before it got so ugly I judged me staying was causing my daughter more harm than the life I could create for us apart.

Red Potato Standing By · 10-10-2011, 05:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by afc wimbledon

No, I am trying to work out if she has gone psycho on you because her son is devastated he has lost his dad, because even if the 'adults' in this picture don't see it your kids were no doubt desperate for you guys to become a family for them.

And for the record, if you and she can stay together, not fight, be unhappy but give your kids a good family you should man the eff up and move back, once you have a kid, or 3 in this case your and her happiness is irrelevant.

So you think that to people who are miserable are gonna be good parents?
You don't think the kids are not going to pick up there parents hate each other? I don't think that would be any better.

afc wimbledon · 10-10-2011, 05:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Zethrynn

So you think that to people who are miserable are gonna be good parents?
You don't think the kids are not going to pick up there parents hate each other? I don't think that would be any better.

Depends on the parents, to be frank most marriages go through lousy patches, often when kids arrive, sometimes you just find meaning in life elsewhere.

If two people are at each others throats it isn't a good idea but if they can agree to keep it together for the kids and treat each other with respect its workable and better for the kids, I am about to leave for thanksgiving with friends who have a completly loveless marriage and are only together as their son has MD, once he dies they will seperate, they don't hate each other though, they havn't loved each other in a decade, and I know he uses hookers occasionally, their kid will die in a few years though so they hold it together and he comes over and sobs on my shoulder occasionally when we crack the single malt.

Red Potato Standing By · 10-10-2011, 05:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by afc wimbledon

Depends on the parents, to be frank most marriages go through lousy patches, often when kids arrive, sometimes you just find meaning in life elsewhere.

If two people are at each others throats it isn't a good idea but if they can agree to keep it together for the kids and treat each other with respect its workable and better for the kids, I am about to leave for thanksgiving with friends who have a completly loveless marriage and are only together as their son has MD, once he dies they will seperate, they don't hate each other though, they havn't loved each other in a decade, and I know he uses hookers occasionally, their kid will die in a few years though so they hold it together and he comes over and sobs on my shoulder occasionally when we crack the single malt.

I see your point,and but I think it is few and far between that you can find two mature enough adults to be able to do that.

afc wimbledon · 10-10-2011, 05:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Zethrynn

I see your point,and but I think it is few and far between that you can find two mature enough adults to be able to do that.

I think there may be more than you think out there, most marriages go through this at times, I think it also helps if you resign yourself to it, if you know you are staying for at least the next decade and you can't bitch at the wife you find outlets to keep yourself alive.

Its the couples that expect things to be perfect that can't manage it generally (and usually women are worse than men at this)

3 Justin 3 · 10-10-2011, 06:44 PM

There is only one man who can help.

afc wimbledon · 10-10-2011, 07:09 PM

Dissentowner,

I shall ask the obvious question that came to me as I was cooking the cranberry sauce, you have got some couples counselling for both the relationship and the break up I assume?

LGA · 10-10-2011, 07:24 PM

I have one psycho ex and one ex that really messed with my head.

The psycho ex phones me every Valentines day to let me know how well her life is going and it always ends in a screaming match. I tried ignoring her one holiday and she left around 70 text messages, so I've just come accustomed to getting ready to yell on that day.

The other ex went from dating me to dating my roommate, and childhood friend. Except we hadn't broken up when she started dating him...since that time I've become extremely paranoid of basically everyone I meet. Every girl I become interested in I just assume will one day ruin my life, and I kind of expect them to do it by messing with my friends.

But your story makes me glad I never had a kid with these girls. Being forced to stay connected would suck. In other words, I really hope you manage to work things out.

Crazy Flamer · 10-10-2011, 07:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dissentowner

But she isn't raising him herself. I am doing my part for half the week, some of you are making it sound like I walked away from the whole thing. Sitting down and talking with her has been done, she is abdament I move in with them and give up any job and be a stay at home dad while she goes back to work. If I won't do that she wants half my pay plus to pay for day care expenses. She has also threatened to move away if I don't reconcile.

Do you have a court order? If so, she can't just move away with your son. If you don't have a court order, get one!!!! And if she is as crazy as you claim, make sure you get a police enforcement clause in it. That way, you can get the police to help enforce your parenting time in case she pulls any stunts.

Trust me, I speak from experience. I have kids with two of my exes. The mother of my oldest boy is great. We've had our up and downs but we get along really well.

The mom of my twins, well she's just bat #### crazy. I hate saying that because she's their mom but there's simply no other way to put it. Some of the insane stunts she has pulled, I wonder if I well ever be able to trust her.

dissentowner · 10-10-2011, 07:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by afc wimbledon

Dissentowner,

I shall ask the obvious question that came to me as I was cooking the cranberry sauce, you have got some couples counselling for both the relationship and the break up I assume?

Yes we have.

VladtheImpaler · 10-10-2011, 08:06 PM

I offered this advice to a lawyer colleague of mine, who thought he had impregnated a woman, and was looking forward to hundreds of thousands of $$$ in child support...

Until you are married, nothing but oral or anal.

Luckily, I never had any kids with my ex-wives.