Baby on the way... tips for a first time parent?

[The Goon]

Re: Baby names. Make sure to not run names by anyone else because they will shoot them down. Pick a name between the two of you (maybe have a couple of backups) and don't take any guff.

Even if you give your kid a stupid name.

[Russic]

Originally Posted by Sliver

The ones that do tend to be passive-aggressive about it, which makes it easy to deny if you bust them on it. Plus who wants to ruin a social even by fighting with your friends?

Bingo. It's generally going to be a friend or acquaintance in a social situation where it's not acceptable to absolutely unload on them. It might even be somebody without kids. Those ones are a damn riot. You want to channel your inner Fotze but it just isn't the place to do it.

[sfpipes]

Count me amongst the CP faithful on the way to parenthood. We are due in March and this thread has some great info in it. So a big thanks to you all for sharing your knowledge and experiences. It should be quite an adventure. I already feel like I'm losing sleep. I'm a bit of a worrier, so I allow myself to get worked up over all the pains and weird feelings my wife gets. I need to work on that. Any ideas on how I can just relax and go with it. Other than the obligatory, "man up and grow a pair". Thanks.

[COGENT]

Originally Posted by red sky

Any new parents-to-be $hitting bricks with the financial change from being DINKS to, well, not being DINKS. Mat leave should be interesting and most months should be okay but we may stuggle some times. Luckily we have decent savings.

It's terrifying. Now that I'm 6 weeks in though it's surprising how we adapted to the necessary lifestyle. More or less, I don't get to go out for lunch every other day anymore.

[habernac]

Originally Posted by The Goon

Re: Baby names. Make sure to not run names by anyone else because they will shoot them down. Pick a name between the two of you (maybe have a couple of backups) and don't take any guff.

Even if you give your kid a stupid name.

Just say no to stupid baby names.

[Jedi Ninja]

This explains why I agreed to buy the minivan without putting up much of a fight...

Study: Fatherhood Lowers Testosterone

[Byrns]

+1 to all great tips that have been mentioned. I'll also say that don't feel guilty if you don't immediately fall in love with your kid at first sight. It took me a several months before it really kicked in. My first thoughts when I saw my daughter were fear that I was going to break her somehow!

Now, it's total mushy love for her, and my favorite times are when she comes running to me with a big hug. (she's 17 months now)

Oh and get a wireless webcam for the baby's room. I got this sucker off of Ebay and it's awesome. (night vision, pan tilt, wifi) And there are iOS apps for it too. Google for reviews

http://www.ebay.ca/sch/Consumer-Elec...=p3286.c0.m282

[Boblobla]

I forgot one more thing, it is called and excersaucer. We call it the circle of neglect...

Awesome for getting 10 minutes to do #### around the house.

[Sliver]

Originally Posted by Byrns

+1 to all great tips that have been mentioned. I'll also say that don't feel guilty if you don't immediately fall in love with your kid at first sight. It took me a several months before it really kicked in. My first thoughts when I saw my daughter were fear that I was going to break her somehow!

Great point. If you don't feel it right away, it'll come...don't worry.

[tete]

Is there any need for a monitor if your place is all on one floor? We're in an apartment style condo, abeit a good size (1900 sq. ft) and think that it's pretty likely we'd hear the kid fairly easily in our place.

[yads]

Originally Posted by red sky

Any new parents-to-be $hitting bricks with the financial change from being DINKS to, well, not being DINKS. Mat leave should be interesting and most months should be okay but we may stuggle some times. Luckily we have decent savings.

Don't stress about it too much especially if you have backup savings. My wife grossly overestimated how much money we'd need as a result we barely had to tap the baby fund we had set aside. One thing to remember is that you're going to be so busy that you won't be spending money on entertainment at anywhere near the rate you had before.

If you're still planning to contribute to any RRSPs I would suggest getting a form from work that will have them lower your taxes to compensate for your contributions. That way you don't have to wait till tax season to get your money.

[Byrns]

Originally Posted by tete

Is there any need for a monitor if your place is all on one floor? We're in an apartment style condo, abeit a good size (1900 sq. ft) and think that it's pretty likely we'd hear the kid fairly easily in our place.

If you only care to hear when the kid is crying you don't need one, but having a camera one allows you to close their door and see what they're up to without opening it. Especially useful when they get a bit older.

[Scoopdogg]

Originally Posted by sfpipes

Count me amongst the CP faithful on the way to parenthood. We are due in March and this thread has some great info in it. So a big thanks to you all for sharing your knowledge and experiences. It should be quite an adventure. I already feel like I'm losing sleep. I'm a bit of a worrier, so I allow myself to get worked up over all the pains and weird feelings my wife gets. I need to work on that. Any ideas on how I can just relax and go with it. Other than the obligatory, "man up and grow a pair". Thanks.

H and B and/or a good bottle of scotch!

[HockeyPuck]

Originally Posted by The Goon

It's Baby Goon's first birthday tomorrow, and it has been one long learning experience.

He had crazy rashes all over his body, and we only found through trial and error that he has a dairy sensitivity - when my wife cut out the dairy, he cleared up. I hope he grows out of it.

We've been lucky in some respects - he has been sleeping through the night since he was a month old, but unlucky in others - he is an awfully picky eater, and mealtime can be a nightmare.

There has been nothing in my life quite like how I felt the first time he looked at me and said "Dada". He is a very loving boy and a year later, I still can't believe he's in my life.

I would do the dad brag thing and post the first year retrospective video we made, but I'm under orders not to show anyone before his birthday party this weekend.

-Diapers - Pampers Dry Max
-We got a Graco stroller (Alano Flip-It, I think) where the top pops out and clips into the car seat. Very handy for transporting him around.
-You get a lot of clothes as gifts, but you go through a lot as well. Laundry seems like a never-ending task.
-Identify the deathtraps in your house and the moment the baby starts moving, get some gates and safety equipment up. Our guy is an incessant explorer and we are having to make adjustments almost every day.

You're little guy and my son sound quite similar - he's got terrible eczema, so we're going to try cutting dairy as you guys did. Hopefully it works.

My son is 18 months now and started walking around 2-3 months ago. I always look forward to coming home from work cuz he always greets me at the door - always the best feeling to have someone so happy to see you when you get home.

We also have a 3 month old, and the adjustment from 1 child to 2 is greater than the adjustment from DINK to 1 child. Before, I could come home, play with my son for a few hours and then give him back to Mrs. Hockeypuck and I could do my own thing... not so much any more.

[Canada 02]

ha, I thought DINK meant 'doing it, no kids', as if to proclaim you've mastered birth control.

dual income...

[Bertuzzied]

Originally Posted by Canada 02

ha, I thought DINK meant 'doing it, no kids', as if to proclaim you've mastered birth control.

dual income...

Doing it no kondom.

[fredr123]

Originally Posted by fotze

Ours had terrible excema too. You would walk into his room and he would look like a pro-wrestler with blood all over his face from him scratching it. After multiple trips to doctors including emergency room visits we got the right cream. Got hydrocortisone and the over the counter Spectro gel. Try that first. The dairy thing seems like some bullcrap the doctor says in the place of 'I have no idea'.

Babies' skin is so soft and sensitive, I can't think of any of our friends or family who had babies in the past 5 or so years that haven't experienced some degree of skin irritation. Probably caused by all the chemicals we use every day. Or global warming. One of the two.

Also, baby nails are super sharp.

My daughter has a scar on her nose from where she scratched herself as a baby and my son scratches until he bleeds all the time. One of our friends has had little mittens on her new born since the first night he exited the womb to keep him from clawing the crap out of himself.

[redforever]

Originally Posted by fredr123

Babies' skin is so soft and sensitive, I can't think of any of our friends or family who had babies in the past 5 or so years that haven't experienced some degree of skin irritation. Probably caused by all the chemicals we use every day. Or global warming. One of the two.

Also, baby nails are super sharp.

My daughter has a scar on her nose from where she scratched herself as a baby and my son scratches until he bleeds all the time. One of our friends has had little mittens on her new born since the first night he exited the womb to keep him from clawing the crap out of himself.

First thing to get rid of, if you have not already done so, is fabric softener. Use those dryer balls, or whatever they are called, instead.

Second, put all baby clothes through a second rinse because any soap residue is real tough on most baby skin as well. That includes baby bedding as well.

[Russic]

Money - We were very concerned about income, but just as the wise Ian Malcolm taught us all in Jurassic Park, "life finds a way". We have a kid in daycare now costing us $850/month. I have no idea where the money comes from as we make exactly what we made before, but everything works out. You adjust your life and everything fits. It was mentioned before, but your entertainment budget goes through the floor because you aren't generally going out, drinking a ton or eating crazily.

If you want it to be cheap, having a kid can actually be done on a budget. Some parents go straight off the deep-end and spend thousands on each item. Kijiji is your friend. Second-hand clothing stores are AMAZING and you can get great stuff for a couple of bucks. Don't forget kids don't need much. Love them, hug them and give them a box to play with. They don't need a $150 anything with flashing lights and crap.

Monitors - Personal experience here, but getting rid of our monitor was one of the best things that ever happened to our sleep patterns. I was hesitant of this as my wife heard it through a sleeping class she took. We got rid of the monitors and I immediately noticed I wasn't waking up in the middle of the night staring at it. Babies sound like they're drowning all the time and it bothers me. I'd sit there unable to sleep just waiting to see the little sound notification light flick on. It was brutal.

Worrying - I have unfortunate news. It'll probably get a lot worse and it won't go away (apparently it keeps going until grandparenthood). The good news is that it exists because you'll love your kids unlike anything else. I wouldn't trade this for anything, but there are times when it is really truly scary. The only thing you can do is try to be realistic. Baby proof to the best of your ability and know that your kids will hurt themselves (sometimes pretty badly) but that's all a part of growing up. Everybody has a few horror stories to tell, but it's all worth it.

[Scoopdogg]

Originally Posted by redforever

First thing to get rid of, if you have not already done so, is fabric softener. Use those dryer balls, or whatever they are called, instead.

Second, put all baby clothes through a second rinse because any soap residue is real tough on most baby skin as well. That includes baby bedding as well.

We used a specific baby detergent that worked great for our kids. These baby detergents don't have as many of the scents and crap in them so they're better for the bambino.