Baby on the way... tips for a first time parent?

[mrbanffgirl]

Originally Posted by 4X4

To the chagrin of many (I'm sure), I have decided to procreate, and my fruit of my loins will be unleashed upon society in about two months. This thread is awesome. Ninja change, eh Hesla? I'll be patting myself on the back once I master that.
Cloth diapers? I don't even need to try them to decide that there's no way in hell I'll wash poo off of cloth and then use that cloth again. I like the sounds of this Diaper Genie that's being touted in this thread. After googling it, I have decided that it is a must. This is the image that sold me: lol, "hell sausage"...
As for strollers, bassonettes, and cribs, I have a MIL that is going ape-sh*t over her first (and probably only) grandchild, so we've already accumulated a lot of the necessities. I don't think I'd be too scared to use a second hand baby seat, though. I mean, it should be somewhat obvious if the thing is in good shape, no? As long as there are no cracks or any visible signs of damage, I think it'd do it's job as well as a brand new seat, unless the new ones have built in airbags or something.
The video monitor has been a bit of a discussion. Someone told us that it was excessive and that it was just an extra $200 for nothing, but another someone vehemently disagreed and said that it's the difference between going to the nursery every time the baby cries, or being able to see that the baby is fine. Soo, I don't know. I'm already a 5-6 hour per night sleeper, but I don't think there's any reason to chintz on a monitor when it could cut into the 5-6 hours that I definitely need. Maybe I can find one on kijiji for a lot less than $250 it is at Babies R Us.

You mean there's gonna be another one of you!! yikes!
Seriously.... Congratulations
Having just come off of all of this my self here is my 2 bits
- Disposable All The Way! (i too had an issue with the doodoo over)
- A stroller with larger wheels, the ones with the smaller wheels are useless on anything but hard ground.
- With our little gal, we didn't use a monitor at all. get a schedule down early, keep with it and stay wit it as best you can. but at the same time, don't limit what you want o do for it. enjoy your time out, and suffer a bit later. Kids are resilient.
- Car seats, spend the money on a good one with a base that stays in the car. makes life WAY easier! or try and get a good second hand one. Despite what you hear, the nurses at the hospital WILL look at what you are taking your kid home in (they did with us!, and passed! whew!)
take your time to get to know your little one and what they need. all kids are different, and will not be like you friends who's baby is a nightmare, or a dream. they are yours! have fun, sleep when you can and get a rythm down early.
Most of all ENJOY!

[habernac]

Originally Posted by You Need a Thneed

Disagree. Always better to let kid sleep in your room then to cry in a different room. The more sleep everyone gets, the better. It's not too hard to break a sleeping in mommy and daddy's room habit when they are ready.

Letting them cry it out is better for them and makes them get used to sleeping in their own room. Letting them sleep in your room ensures you don't ever get laid again.

Congrats, 4X4!!

[Wormius]

Like I said, its personal. Our first kid, we jusr wanted
him to sleep so we could sleep and we succumbed to laziness, and now he still pines constantly to stay with us even as he starts school. Kid #2 - exclusively slept in crib / own bed except when travelling, no bed time issues at all.

My own view is, the baby wakes up, you are up anyway, a 10 ft
walk to the nursery to feed is just semantics. I also think its more fair for parents to take turns going to nursery than for both to be woken up by a baby in the bed getting shuffled around for a feeding or diaper change, etc.

But anyway, every child is different and that is why we all have different experiences.

[mrbanffgirl]

Originally Posted by habernac

Letting them cry it out is better for them and makes them get used to sleeping in their own room. Letting them sleep in your room ensures you don't ever get laid again.

Congrats, 4X4!!

Agreed!! My wife had to literally hold me back from going to check on the baby. If they are crying, they are OK! as long as it is not for hours on end. if you let them cry it out for awhile, they will go to sleep. if you open the door every time there is a whimper, it is positive reinforcement of something that will guarantee, you will not get another quiet night for a long time!

[Rathji]

Originally Posted by habernac

Letting them cry it out is better for them and makes them get used to sleeping in their own room. Letting them sleep in your room ensures you don't ever get laid again.

Congrats, 4X4!!

In the first 3 months of a babies life, the shorter time periods they are let cry the less attachment issues they develop as they age. This is why the prototypical 2nd child is less independent than a first or only hcild.

[goaliegirl]

Originally Posted by Wormius

Agree with the above, especially routine.

There is some debate about letting kids share your bed or sleep in your room... But don't do it. Its like inviting a vampire into your house. Start the routine early and don't get lazy about it - their crib/bed only or you will regret it. Maybe. Depends on how you feel about having a good nights sleep.

Yeah don't let your kid sleep in the bed past 3ish months or so... I just tucked my 4 year old into our bed. The really bad thing about that is she did sleep mostly in her crib until about a year, then I felt bad one night when she was sick and let her sleep in ours.. she has not left since. Even if we put her into her own bed she eventually ends up in ours, babies grow and while a 0-2ish year kid might be a nice fit, a 4 year old is not. We did not have this issue with our older 2 they were sleeping in their own room from 3ish months.

I would say the best advice I could give to a new parent is to cheap out when they are small(outside of safety things like carseats and such). I have a 12 year old and he costs me a small fortune and I wish I could go back to buying his clothes from Walmart, and giving him a cardboard box to play with... instead my reality is brand name everything, cause "mom my friends have it", FML

[Slava]

Originally Posted by habernac

Letting them cry it out is better for them and makes them get used to sleeping in their own room. Letting them sleep in your room ensures you don't ever get laid again.

Congrats, 4X4!!

This...as soon as the baby is either 12lbs or 3 months. They develop their own coping mechanisms and EVERYONE in the family gets a better sleep!

Otherwise, particularly with your first, you know that night where your girl and child are in the hospital overnight, but you go hack home? Don't phone anyone, just watch a game have a beer and enjoy a great nights sleep! That is easily the best thing you can do. Its your last time for a few months, most likely!

Oh, and congrats fellas! I think that most of us are a little terrified at a prospect of a newer model 4x4 running around, but we'll manage!

[CKPThunder]

Wow this thread is bringing back a lot of memories (good and bad). We had twins 20 months ago and I can honestly say, the last 20 months have been great but a blur. Let's see if I can remember what we did to answer C02's questions.

We have one crib with the sliding rail and one without. We don't use the sliding rail and it's worked ok but as your child gets older it does get harder and harder to pull them out of their crib. If your wife had a hard labor or C-section, this might be difficult for her for a while.

We used glass bottles when the twins were tiny but switched to plastic once they could hold the bottle themselves. Babies who can hold a bottle can also throw a bottle and I'd rather have a plastic bottle hit the floor than a glass one.

Disposable diapers. We use Pampers Baby Dry. The Pampers Dry Max have something in them that really irritated our children. Our friends son received a bad rash or burn from the Dry Max but for others, they were great. We also had issues with Huggies cause after a wet diaper our kids had what looked like a lot of tiny pellets stuck to their skin. I guess whatever Huggies used to dry up the diaper started to fall back onto the baby.

We only used a standard baby monitor. If you get one, get a good one. The cheap ones make a hissing static noise after a while which gets real annoying when you are trying to sleep. As for a video monitor, just hook up a day/night web cam so you can use your smartphone to look in on the baby. Why spend the money on a video monitor when you will never use it once they grow up.

We had to use formula. Monitor how your kids react to formula. We used Similac Advanced in the beginning and we realized that none of our twins were pooping. Once we slowly switched over to Enfamil, the pooping started up again. I'm not saying one is better than the other but I'm sure one of them is better for your child. The trick is to find the one best for yours.

Our twins slept in one crib in our room for the first 5 months. Afterwards, they moved to their own crib in their own rooms. We tried some sort of sleep training and I have to give a big thumbs up to sleep training. The first 3 days were hell but now our kids sleep quite well by themselves which makes it so much nicer for everyone.

Someone mentioned routine. I so agree with this. Once our kids got into a routine, they knew what to expect.

Take lots and lots of pictures and videos. I look back to last year and I can't believe how much our kids have changed. It's great looking back at older pictures cause your mind blocks out all of the pain and lets you just remember everything as sheer bliss.

Congrats to all the upcoming fathers and mothers! Enjoy the ride!

[Howie_16]

Tips for the first time parent? How's this for a valuable tip: RAISE YOUR KIDS PROPERLY! Like me and my brand new son:



He was born on 9-10-11, and he shares his birthday with Tim Hunter and Joe Nieuwendyk!

[habernac]

congrats, Howie!

[You Need a Thneed]

Originally Posted by habernac

Letting them cry it out is better for them and makes them get used to sleeping in their own room. Letting them sleep in your room ensures you don't ever get laid again.

I assure you, we let our kids cry it out. However, when my oldest was around 1, letting her cry it out was the most useless thing you could try. She would cry for an hour, finally fall asleep, and wake up 15 minutes later, and take an hour of crying again. If we put her in our room, there would be no crying, and she'd be sleeping really quick. We ended up taking the crib mattress out and laying it beside our bed on the floor. I wasted many hours sitting beside her in her room (she'd be quiet then) waiting for her to fall asleep before we figured that out.

Let your kids cry it out, but if that clearly is not working try something else.

Our second falls asleep for good after about 5 minutes of crying, if we have to let him cry.

[Russic]

I swear by letting them cry, but my advice is to be very careful with who you mention it to. I have had enough conversations with people that have told me my son will grow up to be a serial killer to last a lifetime. It's a lot like dog training in that if your method is viewed as a little too firm, some people will have no problem telling you what you're doing is wrong. It's not a method for everybody and I would never judge a couple that couldn't go through with it. It worked beautifully for us but it wasn't easy. Personally I disagree with You Need a Thneed, but that's ok. We each have our system that works for us and that's what is important.

I only mention it to parents that are having problems and ask my opinion (or perhaps a message board on the internet... I'm not afraid of you people).

[fredr123]

To follow up on russic's post above, when you decide not to get your kid vaccinated because, you know, autism, don't tell anyone on this board. They will make you feel like an idiot for doing what you feel is best for your kid.

[Sliver]

Originally Posted by Russic

I swear by letting them cry, but my advice is to be very careful with who you mention it to. I have had enough conversations with people that have told me my son will grow up to be a serial killer to last a lifetime. It's a lot like dog training in that if your method is viewed as a little too firm, some people will have no problem telling you what you're doing is wrong. It's not a method for everybody and I would never judge a couple that couldn't go through with it. It worked beautifully for us but it wasn't easy.

I only mention it to parents that are having problems and ask my opinion (or perhaps a message board on the internet... I'm not afraid of you people).

I don't think you have to be careful who you mention crying it out to as it's fairly accepted as standard parenting practice right now. The only objection I have to it is it really doesn't work for every kid, and I've bolded the parts in your post that can bother people that it doesn't work for. Much like breastfeeding doesn't work for everybody, crying it out doesn't work for everybody - it's not necessarily a matter of not having the mental fortitude to handle the difficulty. My daughter would cry so hard she'd start barfing when we did cry it out with her. With additional comfort and some deep-knee bends, we could get her to go to sleep. Cry it out worked like a charm for my son.

The difficult part with giving new parents parenting advice is nothing will work for your kid like it did for ours. View every tactical piece of advice you get as something you can try, but don't expect it to work for you like it did for me. Cry it out may work. Deep knee bends may work. Going to sleep with your wife's tit in their mouth may work. Who knows. Anyway you slice it it's hell, really.

[fredr123]

Originally Posted by fotze

Same goes for punching in the face as a method of correcting behaviour.

Especially if you take your kid in to the Children's Hospital. Mah, any weird bruises, knife wounds or chronic broken bones and you get the third degree.

[ma-skis.com]

Originally Posted by 4X4

As for strollers, bassonettes, and cribs, I have a MIL that is going ape-sh*t over her first (and probably only) grandchild, so we've already accumulated a lot of the necessities. I don't think I'd be too scared to use a second hand baby seat, though. I mean, it should be somewhat obvious if the thing is in good shape, no? As long as there are no cracks or any visible signs of damage, I think it'd do it's job as well as a brand new seat, unless the new ones have built in airbags or something.

We've passed along second hand baby seats and used second hand babyseats, and just check the expiry date on the seat, apparently the plastic or straps can get brittle over time. And make sure it has not been in a car accident, (we've only given them or received them from people we knew).

If it has been in an accident, there could be cracks you can't see type thing, which is why it's reccommended not to take them from people you don't know.

[J pold]

All these parenting threads do is make me never want to have children, and also gain a new found respect for the job my parents did.

[bc-chris]

Originally Posted by 4X4

To the chagrin of many (I'm sure), I have decided to procreate, and my fruit of my loins will be unleashed upon society in about two months.

so if i read this correctly.... in november of 2027 everyone should stay the hell off the road becuz you'll be teaching 4x4jr everything you know about driving!!

[Russic]

Originally Posted by bc-chris

so if i read this correctly.... in november of 2027 everyone should stay the hell off the road becuz you'll be teaching 4x4jr everything you know about driving!!

Actually I think if you keep out of the the left lane you should be fine.

[Russic]

Originally Posted by Sliver

I don't think you have to be careful who you mention crying it out to as it's fairly accepted as standard parenting practice right now. The only objection I have to it is it really doesn't work for every kid, and I've bolded the parts in your post that can bother people that it doesn't work for. Much like breastfeeding doesn't work for everybody, crying it out doesn't work for everybody - it's not necessarily a matter of not having the mental fortitude to handle the difficulty. My daughter would cry so hard she'd start barfing when we did cry it out with her. With additional comfort and some deep-knee bends, we could get her to go to sleep. Cry it out worked like a charm for my son.

The difficult part with giving new parents parenting advice is nothing will work for your kid like it did for ours. View every tactical piece of advice you get as something you can try, but don't expect it to work for you like it did for me. Cry it out may work. Deep knee bends may work. Going to sleep with your wife's tit in their mouth may work. Who knows. Anyway you slice it it's hell, really.

It's a personal decision I find. Cry it out is an accepted method just like a choke chain is an accepted method of dog training, but you're bound to run into people who get mad at you for it. Whether you tell people or not is totally up to you. I just got sick of people essentially calling me a shi**y parent to my face, so I stopped mentioning it.

My apologies if I implied that you didn't have what it takes for the cry it out method, that wasn't my intention. I see how that can come off as condescending.