Calling all crotchety married people.

[VladtheImpaler]

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Cow, I think you meant to use a word other than "spendthrift". Perhaps, just "thrifty"...

[Table 5]

Originally Posted by Displaced Flames fan

Also, you should have had this discussion with her before getting married!

Ha, believe me I tried, but whenever I bring up anything like this, I get a set of naive little deer eyes looking back at me. My side of the family is pretty open about discussing financial matters so we're always swapping tips and stories, but it seems like her family didn't really talk about this kind of stuff at at all, so the kids are a little uninformed about matters of finance.

So far, I basically handle all finance/investment matters in the house, and will probably have to do so going forward. I'd love to have her be more involved, but she does so many other things that I have a feeling it's going to be up to me to decide. I've already had this discussion with myself a few times, but wanted to reach out to see what the brain trust of CP is doing.

[Rathji]

Originally Posted by MarchHare

My wife and I came up with our system when we were unmarried but living together. She moved into my apartment, so for the first few months she paid me cash for her share of the rent and utilities. When we went out for dinner together, we'd have conversations like, "You paid last time, I'll pick up the tab tonight." "No, I think you got the last one, it's my turn." After a few months of this, we figured it was easier to open two joint account (described above) for our shared expenses but keep our personal money separate. It's been working fantastic for us ever since.

This is another great reason to live together before getting married, IMO. If we had vastly different attitudes towards money that would have caused marital strife down the road, we would have realized it very early.

Then keep doing it.

We have a joint account for expenses, and separate accounts that she takes all my money out of on payday.

As has been mentioned here in a couple posts, we general agree on most major expenses or changes to the budget but we get a small allowance to do with what we want that is tied to additional income we bring it over top of our regular pay. She has her Scentsy direct seller business and I have my IT contact work.

[Table 5]

Originally Posted by Cowperson

You didn't say that right off which probably means you and your spouse probably have roughly the same point of view and should be fine if you've already had two years of experience together.

Neither of us spends a lot of money on things that don't go towards a long-term goal (I probably am a little more liberal with it) so you're right, we're mostly in the ballpark. The one issue is that I'm deathly afraid of (non-mortgage) debt of any kind...we're she's a little more uh "American"? But I'm working on that. I don't see money being a huge issue to be honest, but it's better to be prepared going forward.

[Table 5]

Originally Posted by fotze

Well first things first, your wife in all likelihood, needs a new pair of glasses, so budget for that.

You've got it all wrong....she needs even crappier glasses. This face ain't gonna get prettier, no need to disappoint her further.

[transplant99]

No advice on finances here...but just wanted to say congratulations.

[Sliver]

Congratulations. Pics of the bride?

[Table 5]

Just picture Fotze with a wig.

[Sliver]

I've never seen Fotze.









I never want to.

[Sliver]

So a spitting image of your mother?

[Locke]

Originally Posted by Table 5

Just picture Fotze with a wig.

I have seen fotze. All I have to say is, congratulations on marrying someone short enough that she doesnt have to get on her knees to 'service the account' but you'd figure the stubble would be a bit of a deal breaker.....

[Slava]

My wife and I have everything going into one account and everything coming out of the same account. Its just the easiest system.

We also have the "allowance", although when we we poorer it was a bigger concern.

I take care of all of the bill payments and investing and budgeting. My wife has absolutely no idea about what shes invested in, or her account values, let alone mine. In that vein shes one of my best clients!

[Locke]

Originally Posted by Slava

My wife and I have everything going into one account and everything coming out of the same account. Its just the easiest system.

We also have the "allowance", although when we we poorer it was a bigger concern.

I take care of all of the bill payments and investing and budgeting. My wife has absolutely no idea about what shes invested in, or her account values, let alone mine. In that vein shes one of my best clients!

The ones that dont ask questions always are, arent they?

[Wormius]

Originally Posted by CM ONE

Just give her all the money now.

Don't set the expectations so high to start.

[Thumper17]

You really should have sorted this about before tying the knot.

That said, the idea I had would be that, since I like videogames and electronics and thats expensive, and womenfolk often like exspensive clothes and bags. We would have seperate luxury spending accounts. So we can buy our own stuff, and then there would be a joint account for all the bills/kids/gasoline etc.

And I HATE HATE HATE HATE the idea of a credit card and I never want to own one. So she could have the credit card.

[Rubicant]

We have one joint account where all paycheques go in - and all expenses go out. Also from there, money gets filtered into savings (RRSP, TFSA etc...) automatically so it is like another bill.

I can understand having your own bank account and splitting expenses with everything left being your own I guess if you make similar money - but if you don't that could become a problem.

In terms of expenditures, we both are pretty reasonable in not pissing money away, so we don't consult for something like clothing / going out for drinks with friends. Any major expenditure is at least discussed before hand but I'm the minister of finance and usually make the call either way.

I would think the key is that you need to discuss money and figure out something that works for both. Don't let resentment build up over it, as it will poison the relationship and magnify the bumps in the road that always come.

[Sliver]

Originally Posted by Thumper17

And I HATE HATE HATE HATE the idea of a credit card and I never want to own one. So she could have the credit card.

What do you hate about a credit card? The credit aspect? Because you can get a credit card that debits your account so you're not actually using credit.

They are so convenient, you don't have to carry bulky cash, and you can earn points even with the free ones. I don't get what there is to hate about them.

[Rubicant]

Originally Posted by Sliver

What do you hate about a credit card? The credit aspect? Because you can get a credit card that debits your account so you're not actually using credit.

They are so convenient, you don't have to carry bulky cash, and you can earn points even with the free ones. I don't get what there is to hate about them.

Credit cards are convenience cards for me. The balance gets paid every month in full, I get points for things, everyone is happy.

The only time I can see hating a credit card is if you get in over your head and carry a balance. That would follow in the vein of financial management 101 - spend less than you make.

[MarchHare]

And I HATE HATE HATE HATE the idea of a credit card and I never want to own one. So she could have the credit card.

Off-topic a bit, but there's nothing wrong with credit cards if you use them responsibly. I use my card all the time for ordering stuff online or making large purchases bigger than my debit transaction limit (e.g. buying a new computer). The important thing is to spend within your means and not carry a balance from month-to-month.

[Rubicant]

Originally Posted by Slava

My wife and I have everything going into one account and everything coming out of the same account. Its just the easiest system.

We also have the "allowance", although when we we poorer it was a bigger concern.

I take care of all of the bill payments and investing and budgeting. My wife has absolutely no idea about what shes invested in, or her account values, let alone mine. In that vein shes one of my best clients!

It's the exact same thing with us. Perhaps my wife and I should have a talk - if I died she would have no idea where / how much money we have.