Don't Bully Fat Kids

[Dion]

Originally Posted by burn_this_city

That honestly makes me sick, especially the stuff posted after she died. Hopefully those kids wake up one day and realize they're a bigger peice of garbage than they ever imagined. I can't believe no one loses it and offs a couple dirtbags like that.

It makes me angry that it takes suicides by kids to wake up a nation about bullying being a real problem. Being told to walk away and ignore the bullies is not how you deal with this issue. It makes me sad inside that people still believe that.

[BigBrodieFan]

Originally Posted by Cain

Hindsight it is easy to say he should have just punched him once and walked away. He starts out by trying to grab the kid to stop the punches, they wrestle for a bit and he gets the little kid in a bad place. The rage that probably overwhelmed him during those moments probably also contributed.

Easy to nitpick after the fact. For anyone who has been in a fight, unless you are a trained fighter it is not uncommon for you to just 100% let instinct take over. A measured and appropriate response will not really be on the mind of the bullying victim, and nor should they have to shoulder all of the responsibility. Nobody blames a dog that bites someone when it is being subjected to torture. The smaller kid picked on a kid who had had enough and reaped the consequences. Nobody is permanently hurt physically after the fact, and a lesson is learned (hopefully).

Once you go down the road of what could have happened, life becomes much too scary to even contemplate on a day to day basis.

I agree.

[BigBrodieFan]

Originally Posted by Cain

I already quoted you, so sorry for the double quote!

I think you are asking too much for a kid to walk away from two punches to the face, especially as this might not have been the first time. What about how your kid might be seriously hurt by being essentially sucker punched and then hit multiple times after? The first option isn't to try to kill the guy, but clearly the bigger kid waited a while and took a bunch of shots before reacting, it isn't like he didn't try other tactics to defuse the situation.

I never asked him to walk away. I listed 5, 6 ways he could have handled the situation and said he had every right to defend himself.

[burn_this_city]

Originally Posted by Dion

It makes me angry that it takes suicides by kids to wake up a nation about bullying being a real problem. Being told to walk away and ignore the bullies is not how you deal with this issue. It makes me sad inside that people still believe that.

Makes you wonder how much exposure they had to real bullying? Unless you were home schooled how could you think that turning the other cheek is going to get any results.

[BigBrodieFan]

Originally Posted by Rathji

So you would severely discipline your child, who was obviously not provided with the tools to properly combat this torture, be they physical, mental or by providing him with a system where he feels like he can get help with these things?

Seriously?

Lets blame the kid because, as you admitted, he didn't know any better and the system has failed him.

That's not going to fata him up at all...

No, I would seriously discipline MY KID because he WAS/IS provided with those tools. I NEVER blamed THIS KID and said specifically that he did NOT have the tools or knowledge to combat this bully, and therefore handled it the only way he could. MY KID is different altogether.

[burnin_vernon]

Originally Posted by MarchHare

My mother gave me that same exact spiel when I was being bullied by other kids in elementary and junior high school. "They're only trying to get you to react," she said, "if you just ignore them, they'll leave you alone." NO THEY WON'T. If kids don't stick up for themselves, they just prove to the bullies that they're an easy target, and they'll continue to be tormented mercilessly. I wish now I hadn't listened to my mother and instead fought back just once against the rat ####### punks who picked on me virtually everyday.

This could not be more true. Fighting with older siblings all my life made me pretty strong as a kid and I got into several fights up to the 3rd grade. I never bullied anyone, but I didn't know my own strength, I guess, because I always hurt kids in fights.

Fast forward to age 12 where I had become a FK who was aware of my strength. After relentless torment due to my weight, my mom told me not to show that it bothered me or it would get worse. I tried it her way for a while but it wasn't until I tossed aside one of the bullies like a ragdoll that they stopped, and eventually befriended me. If he came at me after the throw I surely would have hurt him a lot more.

I also witnessed another 16 year old kid get bullied every single day on the bus ride home. When he finally took a physical stand, it ended instantly.

Don't listen to mom. There's little chance she could understand what a bullied boy goes through.

[Dion]

Originally Posted by burn_this_city

Makes you wonder how much exposure they had to real bullying? Unless you were home schooled how could you think that turning the other cheek is going to get any results.

Not very much i'm afraid. The issue should have been dealt with years ago. Kids shouldn't have to live in fear of going to school.

[Dion]

The standard bromides are "Tell your kids not to bully or to allow bullying in their presence. Look how hurtful bullying is -- it drove this child to suicide! You don't want that on your conscience. Cool people like the President oppose bullying."

None of these message are useful. They have no impact. If they did, with anti-bullying program after program, admonition after admonition, warning after warning, why does bullying persist?

Kids don't usually bully people to hurt them, nor do they permit bullying in their presence because they're sadistic or cruel. They -- bullies and bystanders alike -- do it to feel good about themselves. And that's a tough feeling to tackle.

Furthermore, for kids to stand up for a victim would invite being ostracized and marginalized themselves -- which virtually no kids can withstand. In a sense, recounting stories of the horrors of bullying serves as a warning to children of what awaits them if they dare to intervene in the bullying process.

What this is about is that many -- if not most -- teenagers are walking around feeling acutely vulnerable themselves. Bullying gives one group of kids the chance to boost their self-esteem by belittling others. And the larger group passively consents -- sometimes even joins in, even if it violates their own values -- as a way to attain a higher social niche for themselves.

And nothing can combat the power of that kind of esteem-booster for most children.
In fact, the same is true for adults.

The sad news is that bullying -- demeaning outsiders and "others" as a sign of belonging and in order to feel better about oneself -- is as American as apple pie.

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/...ican-apple-pie

[Vansmack]

Originally Posted by The Goon

Wow, this video has taken off worldwide. Way to go CP for getting things started!

Article

No offense but CP did not get this started. Its been all over reddit for days, which is probably where the OP saw it first.

[4X4]

Some kids are probably better off being ignored rather than have a mommy pussifying them. Hug the bully? lol Are you trying to get your kid's ass kicked? Sometimes you need to push back. Show some spine. It's like George McFly getting picked on in school and going on getting picked on all his life. If you don't stand up for yourself at some point, you're going to go through life with no confidence, and you're going to get picked on and relegated all your life.

Some people are just so oblivious it's embarrassing. BrodieFan, I can't believe you'd punish your fat kid for slamming that skinny little son of a bitch. If I was fat kid's dad, I'd take him out to a game or some kind of father son thing, and spend the drive talking about how important it is to stand up for yourself sometimes, and that he did a damn commendable job of it that day.

[getbak]

Here's what your child will grow up to be if you teach him to hug the bully:

[chemgear]

Originally Posted by burn_this_city

how could you think that turning the other cheek is going to get any results.

But that's what the bible says . . . and that cannot possibly be wrong.

[burn_this_city]

Originally Posted by getbak

Here's what your child will grow up to be if you teach him to hug the bully:

Little billy might turn into a white box with a red x? Oh noooes!

[getbak]

Originally Posted by burn_this_city

Little billy might turn into a white box with a red x? Oh noooes!

Weird, shows up for me in all browsers. I changed the link, does this one work better? The new photo is better anyway.

[CaptainCrunch]

Originally Posted by chemgear

But that's what the bible says . . . and that cannot possibly be wrong.

Yeah, but in the bible, God had your back.

you might turn the other cheek, but then god would smite your enemy, send locus to his farm land, infest his widow with boils and force their rich uncle to sacrifice the dead guys children on top of a mountain top.

All while snapping a dollar bill and handing it to Satan while laughingly saying

Here you go Lucifer . . . one American Dollar

[Rathji]

Originally Posted by 4X4

Some kids are probably better off being ignored rather than have a mommy pussifying them. Hug the bully? lol Are you trying to get your kid's ass kicked? Sometimes you need to push back. Show some spine. It's like George McFly getting picked on in school and going on getting picked on all his life. If you don't stand up for yourself at some point, you're going to go through life with no confidence, and you're going to get picked on and relegated all your life.

Some people are just so oblivious it's embarrassing. BrodieFan, I can't believe you'd punish your fat kid for slamming that skinny little son of a bitch. If I was fat kid's dad, I'd take him out to a game or some kind of father son thing, and spend the drive talking about how important it is to stand up for yourself sometimes, and that he did a damn commendable job of it that day.

While I am certain I wouldn't punish my son if he did the same thing, I would certainly let him know that what he did was a little bit reckless and could have had far more severe consequences.

I would then make sure he knew of some alternatives to that slam, ones that could be more effective against someone who he might not be able to toss so easily. Punching a kid directly in the nose or knocking the wind out of him with a punch to the solar plexus would be ideal actions imho. Giving him the skills to deal with this stuff before it gets to the point where his rage is making him do things is the ideal course of action here.

I think Mrs. Rathji said it best, when I discussed this incident with her, that her dad taught her to never start a fight, but he also taught her how to finish one fast if someone else decided to start one with her.

[chemgear]

Originally Posted by CaptainCrunch

Yeah, but in the bible, God had your back.

you might turn the other cheek, but then god would smite your enemy, send locus to his farm land, infest his widow with boils and force their rich uncle to sacrifice the dead guys children on top of a mountain top.

All while snapping a dollar bill and handing it to Satan while laughingly saying

Here you go Lucifer . . . one American Dollar

I forgot to color the text above (green was for sarcasm, right?)

[Knalus]

Originally Posted by burn_this_city

That honestly makes me sick, especially the stuff posted after she died. Hopefully those kids wake up one day and realize they're a bigger peice of garbage than they ever imagined. I can't believe no one loses it and offs a couple dirtbags like that.

I'm kinda sorry to bring this up, but someone did lose it, and tried to off people like that. Bullying in school can result in very different responses from people.

[BigBrodieFan]

Originally Posted by 4X4

Some kids are probably better off being ignored rather than have a mommy pussifying them. Hug the bully? lol Are you trying to get your kid's *** kicked? Sometimes you need to push back. Show some spine. It's like George McFly getting picked on in school and going on getting picked on all his life. If you don't stand up for yourself at some point, you're going to go through life with no confidence, and you're going to get picked on and relegated all your life.

Some people are just so oblivious it's embarrassing. BrodieFan, I can't believe you'd punish your fat kid for slamming that skinny little son of a ***. If I was fat kid's dad, I'd take him out to a game or some kind of father son thing, and spend the drive talking about how important it is to stand up for yourself sometimes, and that he did a *** commendable job of it that day.

I don't have a fat kid.

My son is very tall, muscular, and he's very athletic and very popular with his peers and his teachers.

I'd be angry with him for slamming a kid less than half his size because I'd be afraid he'd hurt him. He knows better than that. If some wimpy little turd is going to slap him, the appropriate thing to do would be to push him away, punch him back, or restrain him. I would hope that my son would know not to slam him in the concrete. I really doubt he'd ever be in that position in the first place. As I said, the big kid in the media right now didn't know any better. Yes, maybe the bullies should have known better than to pick on such a big kid and yes, maybe the big kid 'showed him.'

Every kid is different. I guess you'd just have to know me and my kids to understand what I am saying. I asked my husband about it and his initial reaction was the same as everyone's basically 'Good for the big kid!' Then I asked him what he'd do if our oldest son reacted that way to some little twerp and he said 'I'd kill him, he'd kill the poor kid. He knows better'

I am assuming you all know my family and understand where I am coming from, where really, only a few people on these boards know me. My mistake in getting too personal.

If you would read the thread, you will see I DID say

1) The 'big kid' (I NEVER called him 'fat') should have defended himself.
2) Bullying is not okay


No one seems to bother reading what I write, so I'll just stop here.

I really hope the best for the bigger kid and I hope he gains some self esteem and starts to participate in sports. Like my husband says, he'd be a hell of a lineman.

[Dion]

Casey Haynes father speaks out..... Please note the part where he says his son was never taught to hit and how he had been bullied for years. Maybe now some here will understand WHY HE SNAPPED and did what he did.

Everyone has a breaking point and it took Casey a few years before he snapped.

Casey's father said yesterday his son had been the victim of bullying for several years and feared for his safety if he spoke about the fight.

"There'll be reprisals from other kids in the school and he still has to go to school somewhere," he said.

"He's not a violent kid, it's the first time he's lashed out and I don't want him to be victimised over that.

"He's always been taught never to hit. Apparently other people's parents don't teach their kids that."

Students said violence was a daily occurrence with fights often filmed and posted online.

"The fights I have seen here, it's horrible. It really makes me feel unsafe," one said. A classmate added: "People pick on him every single day, they hit him around and stuff, and he just got sick of it and let out the anger."

http://www.dailytelegraph.com.au/new...-1226022076411