Dead Donkeys and Liberals - Calgarypuck Forums - The Unofficial Calgary Flames Fan Community

DementedReality · 12-06-2005, 12:27 PM

A young man named Paul bought a donkey from an old farmer for $100.00.
The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day.
When the farmer drove up the next day, he said, "Sorry son, but I have some bad news...the donkey is on my truck, but he's dead."
Paul replied, "Well then, just give me my money back."
The farmer said, "I Can't do that. I went and spent it already."
Paul said, "OK then, just unload the donkey anyway".
The farmer asked, "What are ya gonna do with him?"
Paul said, "I'm going to raffle him off."
To which the farmer exclaimed, "You can't raffle off a dead donkey!"
But Paul, with a big smile on his face, said, "Sure I can. Watch me. I just won't tell anybody that he's dead."
A month later the farmer met up with Paul and asked, "What happened with that dead donkey?"
Paul said, "I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at two dollars a piece and made a profit of $698.00."
Totally amazed, the farmer asked, "Didn't anyone complain that you had stolen their money because you lied about the donkey being dead?"
And Paul replied, "The only guy who found out about the donkey being dead was the raffle winner, when he came to claim his prize.
So I gave him his $2 back plus $200 extra, which is double the going value of a live donkey, so he thought I was a great guy."
Paul grew up and eventually became the Prime Minister of Canada, and no matter how many times he and his party lied or how much money they stole from the Canadian voters, as long as they gave them back some of the stolen money, most of them continue to think he is a great guy.

Winsor_Pilates · 12-06-2005, 04:04 PM

??? What's the point of this

DementedReality · 12-06-2005, 04:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Winsor_Pilates

??? What's the point of this

i thought it was amusing, so i shared it ... apparently you didnt.

Shawnski · 12-06-2005, 04:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Winsor_Pilates

??? What's the point of this

Err, what's the point of your post?

I thought it was a pretty good joke/jest.

arsenal · 12-06-2005, 04:55 PM

I thought it would be better if you replace Martin with Chreiten, and it would be fine. As far as the Gomry Inquiry goes, Martin had no knowledge or part of the Ad Scandal. While I detest and dislike the Liberals, I personally have no quams with Martin. He has done some stupid things, but he has also done some smart things. If Harper and Martin switched parties, the Conservatives would win a majority IMO.

transplant99 · 12-06-2005, 04:55 PM

Beautiful.

transplant99 · 12-06-2005, 04:59 PM

Quote:

Martin had no knowledge or part of the Ad Scandal.

Sure thing he didn't.

May not be "proveable as proof is a proof" and all. But he really was the guy in charge of all monies that the Feds spent.

So either he knew what was happening, or he was so incompetant he didn't know...you decide which is worse.

Liars and cheaters tend to stick together...vote Fiberal again and find out for sure....for the 8th time.

FireFly · 12-06-2005, 05:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DementedReality

i thought it was amusing, so i shared it ... apparently you didnt.

I agree that it was amusing.

Winsor_Pilates · 12-06-2005, 08:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by transplant99

Sure thing he didn't.

May not be "proveable as proof is a proof" and all. But he really was the guy in charge of all monies that the Feds spent.
So either he knew what was happening, or he was so incompetant he didn't know...you decide which is worse.
Liars and cheaters tend to stick together...vote Fiberal again and find out for sure....for the 8th time.

Keep harping on that conspiracy thoery.

May not be proovable, but Transplant said so, it must be true.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shawnski

Err, what's the point of your post?

I thought it was a pretty good joke/jest.

I guess we disagree. I thought it was pretty lame and made no sense, but to each their own. I'm glad you enjoyed it.

Shawnski · 12-06-2005, 09:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Winsor_Pilates

I guess we disagree. I thought it was pretty lame and made no sense, but to each their own. I'm glad you enjoyed it.

I did, and just since you didn't, perhaps THIS one you might....

_______________
Here is a new version of an old truth !
Something to think about at election time.

THE ANT AND THE GRASSHOPPER

CLASSIC VERSION:

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a fool, and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The shivering grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.

THE END

THE CANADIAN VERSION:

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a fool, and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. So far, so good, eh?

The shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others less fortunate, like him, are cold and starving.

The CBC shows up to provide live coverage of the shivering grasshopper, with cuts to a video of the ant in his comfortable warm home with a table laden with food.

Canadians are stunned that in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so while others have plenty.

The NDP, the CAW and the Coalition Against Poverty demonstrate in front of the ant's house. The CBC, interrupting an Inuit cultural festival special from Nunavut with breaking news, broadcasts them singing "We Shall Overcome."

Sven Robinson rants in an interview with Pamela Wallin that the ant has gotten rich off the backs of grasshoppers, and calls for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his "fair share".

In response to polls, the Liberal Government drafts the Economic Equity and Grasshopper Anti-Discrimination Act, retroactive to the beginning of the summer.

The ant's taxes are reassessed, and he is also fined for failing to hire grasshoppers as helpers. Without enough money to pay both the fine and his newly imposed retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the government.

The ant moves to the US, and starts a successful agribiz company.

The CBC later shows the now fat grasshopper finishing up the last of the ant's food, though Spring is still months away, while the government house he is in, which just happens to be the ant's old house, crumbles around him because he hasn't bothered to maintain it.

Inadequate government funding is blamed, Roy Romanow is appointed to head a commission of enquiry that will cost $10,000,000.

The grasshopper is soon dead of a drug overdose, the Toronto Star blames it on the obvious failure of government to address the root causes of despair arising from social inequity.

The abandoned house is taken over by a gang of immigrant spiders, praised by the government for enriching Canada's multicultural diversity, who promptly set up a marijuana grow op, and terrorize the community.

THE END

DementedReality · 12-06-2005, 09:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Winsor_Pilates

I guess we disagree. I thought it was pretty lame and made no sense, but to each their own. I'm glad you enjoyed it.

win some, lose some ... no skin off my back.

Patek23 · 12-06-2005, 09:44 PM

somewhat racist, but still humorous.

Quote:

THE CANADIAN VERSION:

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a fool, and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. So far, so good, eh?...

4X4 · 12-06-2005, 09:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Flaming Homer

somewhat racist, but still humorous.

Please tell me you're referring to Shawnski's ant story...

Patek23 · 12-06-2005, 09:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 4X4

Please tell me you're referring to Shawnski's ant story...

yup

moon · 12-06-2005, 09:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Flaming Homer

somewhat racist, but still humorous.

Somewhat rascist???

How so?

Patek23 · 12-06-2005, 10:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by moon

Somewhat rascist???

How so?

accusing the immigrant's of being pot growers and terrorizers of the neighborhood while to good ol' canadian works his ass of and recieves nothing, also unless I'm reading wrong the grasshoppers are meant to be the natives.

Don't know how you don't see it..............

Mike F · 12-06-2005, 10:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by transplant99

Sure thing he didn't.

May not be "proveable as proof is a proof" and all. But he really was the guy in charge of all monies that the Feds spent.

So either he knew what was happening, or he was so incompetant he didn't know...you decide which is worse.

Liars and cheaters tend to stick together...vote Fiberal again and find out for sure....for the 8th time.

From the Interim Gomery Report:

"The Minister of Finance establishes the fiscal framework within which overall government spending takes place. Once that framework is set, departments are responsible for the management of expenditures allocated to them, with general oversight by the treasury board. The Department of Finance and its Minister have no oversight role for other departments' expendatures, other than setting the financial context via the fiscal framework."

If Martin should have known, but didn't due to incompetence that is exactly the sort of thing Gomery would have found and revealed. But the truth is that Martin was completely cleared -- both of wrong deeds and incompetent omissions.

But don't let the truth stop you from going on with your "Fiberals, liars, crooks" campaign. What's that word for someone who keeps throwing out baseless accusations in order to paint someone in a negative light? Something about "mongering"?

moon · 12-06-2005, 11:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Flaming Homer

accusing the immigrant's of being pot growers and terrorizers of the neighborhood while to good ol' canadian works his ass of and recieves nothing, also unless I'm reading wrong the grasshoppers are meant to be the natives.

Don't know how you don't see it..............

I got the immigrant part but figured they could be immigratns from anywhere so don't see how race was involved.

Didn't realise the grasshoppers were natives just assumed they were lazy folks. Pictured them as hippies from BC really or Quebecquois.

metallicat · 12-06-2005, 11:18 PM

http://www.ctv.ca/servlet/ArticleNew...hub=TopStories

And CTV reports on more/new corruption. Allegedly.

Jayems · 12-06-2005, 11:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shawnski

I did, and just since you didn't, perhaps THIS one you might....

_______________
Here is a new version of an old truth !
Something to think about at election time.

THE ANT AND THE GRASSHOPPER

CLASSIC VERSION:

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a fool, and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The shivering grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.

THE END

THE CANADIAN VERSION:

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks he's a fool, and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. So far, so good, eh?...
THE END

That was awesome. Great read, I've figured out who the Ant and The grasshopper is finally, just trying to piece together one more thing...