Any Parents care to share Child care experiences?

[GGG]

One thing no matter where you choose to go is do an unannounced inspection of the dayhome after you meet them for the first time but before you put down a deposit. This way you see what is actually going on and not what they want you to see.

Also after your kids start their pick them up early unannounced occasionally just to see what is happening. I went the dayhome route and it took a few to find one that we are comfortable with. So whatever route you choose trust your instincts and check references. I am sure there are good and bad dayhomes and day cares.

[fredr123]

Our daughter is presently three. When she turned one, my wife went back to work and we took our daughter to a non-registered day home. Cost and the level of one-on-one care were big concerns for us. We went through a lot of trouble interviewing many day home providers before we settled on someone who not only had good credentials but also felt right. She had two kids of her own and ours was one of the younger ones there.

When our son, who is now 18 months old, turned one we put both our kids in a different day home. The first day home lady moved too far south. We went through the same effort to find a good provider but this one just isn't quite as "right" as the first one. Our daughter is one of the oldest ones at the home and there does seem to be more sickness running through this place.

Between the two homes, I noticed that when our kids were the younger ones there they tried really hard to keep up with the older kids and seemed to progress in certain areas of development a little faster than I had expected. Our daughter tells us she's bored on the days when she's at the day home with just babies.

Having an understanding employer is necessary when you use a day home. Moreso now than before, there are last minute calls telling us the day home is closed due to illness, etc. Even though you have a day home lined up, you need alternative care in your back pocket just in case. That wouldn't be a concern for day care.

[edn88]

My wife and I had considered a nanny as well (many of our friends had gone that route) and at the same time put our name in for a daycare downtown (it had a one year wait list). We were completely on the fence - and could not make up our mind until a spot came open at the daycare and we had to make up our mind fairly quickly. The pressure of having to make a relatively quick decision gave us a lot of clarity and in the end we chose to do a daycare.

The problems we saw with the nanny was the problem with sick time and vacation (when your nanny is away you need a backup service or stay home with your kids). The benefits (and there were many we had not thought of) of the daycare is that there was always someone there. What we found after our child was in the daycare was that his socialization skills increased, and his ability to walk, talk, and pretty much do everything increase dramatically as he played with other kids and felt the posative effects of peer pressure. And as time went on, it was clear having a proffesional child care service was preparing him for life better than a single nanny could (yeah, I know that sounds wierd, but that is what you are doing - prepping your child for life).

We were fortunate as we had the best of both worlds - my wife only worked three days a week, so our child was only in DC for three days - and got four days of time with one or both of us.

[macker]

I would avoid daycare/dayhome scenerios if possible. I realize this may not be possible but you may be able to cut expenses etc. to make it work as many people go back to work and end up paying 40-60% of their take home pay on daycare/dayhome anyways so it doesn't really make sense. Your childs early years are priceless and pass way to quick so be there for as many of these moments as you can. You are the best person to raise your child so see if you and your wife can align your schedules so that you are there for him/her. Passing your child from place to place sends an early message to your child and the most important thing you have to offer your child is your time. People always grumble about the cost of daycare/dayhomes etc. without even taking a moment to factor in the true cost. It is greater than most people want to acknowledge imo. Structure your life to make it work.

[Rathji]

Originally Posted by macker

I would avoid daycare/dayhome scenerios if possible. I realize this may not be possible but you may be able to cut expenses etc. to make it work as many people go back to work and end up paying 40-60% of their take home pay on daycare/dayhome anyways so it doesn't really make sense. Your childs early years are priceless and pass way to quick so be there for as many of these moments as you can. You are the best person to raise your child so see if you and your wife can align your schedules so that you are there for him/her. Passing your child from place to place sends an early message to your child and the most important thing you have to offer your child is your time. People always grumble about the cost of daycare/dayhomes etc. without even taking a moment to factor in the true cost. It is greater than most people want to acknowledge imo. Structure your life to make it work.

While this is a very valid point, and it is what I currently do because of finances, there are also valid reasons to having a child in daycare.

Your child gets interaction with other kids, you can get someone who is trained in early childhood education to help things. You also need to consider that not every minute you spend with your kids is 'quality time', take for example dragging 3 kids around to do errands for 4-6 hours. Would it be better for them to be in someone else's care and playing with other kids, or fighting with you because they want a chocolate bar at the grocery store or screaming from the back seat of the car?

[sclitheroe]

Originally Posted by Rathji

While this is a very valid point, and it is what I currently do because of finances, there are also valid reasons to having a child in daycare.

Your child gets interaction with other kids, you can get someone who is trained in early childhood education to help things. You also need to consider that not every minute you spend with your kids is 'quality time', take for example dragging 3 kids around to do errands for 4-6 hours. Would it be better for them to be in someone else's care and playing with other kids, or fighting with you because they want a chocolate bar at the grocery store or screaming from the back seat of the car?

Who has 4-6 hours of errands to run around doing every day?

[Rathji]

Originally Posted by sclitheroe

Who has 4-6 hours of errands to run around doing every day?

Probably not every day, but I know there are days when my wife is busy from the time she wakes up until when I get home. In these situations, my wife often drops the kids off to be taken care of by one of our many child care options: play group, babysitter, grandparents, other family etc, since there is almost no way that they will have a worse experience being with other kids all afternoon than cramped up in their car seats, being pulled out at every store.

Realistically, not many people would feel the need to put their kids in daycare when they go run errands, but I was pointing out that not everything a parent does with their kid is productive or the best thing for the child, even though they are the parents.

[Sliver]

Originally Posted by macker

I would avoid daycare/dayhome scenerios if possible. I realize this may not be possible but you may be able to cut expenses etc. to make it work as many people go back to work and end up paying 40-60% of their take home pay on daycare/dayhome anyways so it doesn't really make sense. Your childs early years are priceless and pass way to quick so be there for as many of these moments as you can. You are the best person to raise your child so see if you and your wife can align your schedules so that you are there for him/her. Passing your child from place to place sends an early message to your child and the most important thing you have to offer your child is your time. People always grumble about the cost of daycare/dayhomes etc. without even taking a moment to factor in the true cost. It is greater than most people want to acknowledge imo. Structure your life to make it work.

I used to think like that and my wife stayed home for 2.5 years with our first and one year with our second, but we actually changed our thoughts on it. She now works 3-4 days/week and the kids are in daycare the days she works. I think it's abnormal for a child (compared to how human beings have historically been raised) to be raised by just one person - I think a more communal way of raising young kids does them more good than harm if they're in the right environment.

Plus not everybody enjoys looking after small kids (say under five). I mean if you like it, great, but we would find it a little boring if we didn't have the challenges and external stimulation that work provides.

Our plan is to actually increase the time we spend with our kids as they get older - I think pre-teens and teens need their parents more than little kids in a lot of ways whereas pretty much anybody can teach tots how not to hit, how to wash their hands, and all the other little basic things they need to know.

BTW, what message is it you think you're sending your kids by putting them in daycare?

[ma-skis.com]

Originally Posted by Sliver

BTW, what message is it you think you're sending your kids by putting them in daycare?

yes, i'd like to know what message is being sent too since clearly i am intentionally sending my child some kind of message.

[Prototype]

There's no way my wife and I could afford a nanny, or for her to stay home full time.

We lucked out though, as my best friend's wife opened up her dayhome after we moved into town (Airdrie, two blocks away from friends). Not only is it close, and someone we trust, we get the friends and family discount.

Other than that, a drive into Calgary is sometimes needed for Grandma to watch the little one.

As far as the difference, I had always thought there's more holes in the commercial day care centres, from horror stories, and friend of a friend stories I've heard. But it's a blanket statement, as I'm sure there's some good ones out there.

[ma-skis.com]

for the OP I'd just go with whatever feels right for the both of you, the surprise visits are key, you should be allowed to stop by and grab your kid or see what is happening at any time. Particularly with this age group since your child won't have any ability to accurately communicate what is happening with the caregiver.

One thing that we noticed, was that it was more convenient to have the daycare / dayhome near work rather than near home. Particularly if you had somewhere to go after work and needed to grab your kid, and then head out, say to the mall, run an errand, pick something up go to the grandparents, near work was easier. Another thing was that they spent less time in the actual care center, we used that time to try to pry out knowledge from our toddler about how the day was.

the last thing we found out about dayhome/daycare was if the dayhome provider got sick, you had to call in sick too, there was no option if anything happened, at least with a daycare they could shuffle staff around for cross coverage. If calling in sick or taking personal days is an issue with your workplace that may also be a consideration.

edit: make sure there is no tv where ever you go, that way the time is spent interacting or doing crafts playing or doing something not just sitting there and tuning out. I always felt if i paid that much for care, it'd better not be for a handful of dvds

[Sylvanfan]

Yeah, as great as it would be for my wife to stay home for the next 4 years and 9 months...she'd completely lose all her work skills and than I'd have to pay for another education for her. Ideally she's only working part time, but I think it's important my wife go back to work to keep up her skills, and also to socialize with some other adults!

So either way whether it's a dayhome or a day care I also would like for my son to get used to playing with other kids and being around them. Yeah, he'll get sick once inawhile, but there is no way in hell that we're home schooling him, so getting him exposed to other kids and the good and bad that comes with it won't hurt him. Afterall....I expect him to be able to come home from school when he's 10 and hold down the fort like I had to when I was a kid. Lucky for him he won't have to walk uphill both ways to school hauling a wagon with square wheels thats loaded with rocks like my Dad and I had to.

[edn88]

The crappiest part of having a kid in daycare is that he brings home germs, and lots of them. I was sick all the time when he was in his first two years of daycare.

The upside is he has developed a much better immune system than if he was at home all the time.

[billybob123]

Originally Posted by edn88

The crappiest part of having a kid in daycare is that he brings home germs, and lots of them. I was sick all the time when he was in his first two years of daycare.

Amen. I rarely used to get sick; now my kid (2 yrs old) brings home something from daycare and enjoys drinking from my cups, eating from my plate, and ramming his fingers in my mouth, so I inevitably get his colds. He gets over them in a three days, I fight it for a month.

"It's good for him to get sick. It's good for him to get sick. It's good for him to get sick. COUGH COUGH COUGH COUGH COUGH"

My wife went back after 5 mos maternity leave. I hadn't paid enough EI when our son was born so I don't get paternity (it would be unpaid); we had to scramble to find something. We were on lists at daycares. Our preference was daycares since I was so terrified of the 'bad dayhome' stories. We managed to find a spot last-minute and have been nothing but thrilled. I'm convinced my kid gets his talking, walking, playing, dressing skills from the daycare since he's surrounded by older kids in his 'class'. Since then several of my work colleagues have had kids and some have found great dayhomes. I echo the earlier comments about checking, rechecking, and then checking again on them. The best is recommendations from friends, colleagues, etc since then you get a first-hand reference on good/bad.

Good luck!

[ricoFlame]

i'm sure you already have, but contact your local day home society, thats how we found the best fit for our son and that best fit our needs/high demands.

[pope04]

I had a live-in nanny for about one month seven years ago. The day after she lost my three-year-old son (he was returned by a complete stranger half an hour later) I quit my job and became a stay-at-home dad. Now I work full-time and my wife works around me, so we need very little child care.

[Northendzone]

here are my thoughts:

generally speaking your child will get more colds and stuff - that it was happens when they are exposed to more kids.

dayhome - kids tend to be able to watch more tv - sometimes the kids tell you that the dayhome lady was haviong a nap while she was caring for them. also need to deal with the provider getting sick and what not - be prepared to use holiday days on short notice - sometimes not as much structure

daycare - more structure, more rules, more variety. usually not issues with dealing with last minute changes to schedule......

[The Goon]

Aside from daycare vs. dayhome vs. staying home...

...in Calgary, does anyone have any daycare or dayhome recommendations? We are looking now for late Aug/early Sept.

[CM ONE]

Originally Posted by The Goon

Aside from daycare vs. dayhome vs. staying home...

...in Calgary, does anyone have any daycare or dayhome recommendations? We are looking now for late Aug/early Sept.

My main advice is GET ON IT NOW! A lot of the good ones have waiting lists.

[Ashartus]

Originally Posted by The Goon

Aside from daycare vs. dayhome vs. staying home...

...in Calgary, does anyone have any daycare or dayhome recommendations? We are looking now for late Aug/early Sept.

What part of the city?