Different Fart Smells (do not read if you don't like farts)

[puckluck]

I love the smell of my farts. I usually fart under my blanket and than stick my head under.

[Jimmy Stang]

I once farted so loud in my sleep that it woke me up and it took me a few seconds to figure out what had happened. Even my wife still thinks that one was funny. Apparently I sat up and was kind of panicked and disoriented. Then I realized what it was and couldn't stop giggling before eventually falling back asleep.

[T@T]

Originally Posted by puckluck

I love the smell of my farts. I usually fart under my blanket and than stick my head under.

Let me take a wild guess...single?

[Calgary '89]

Originally Posted by flamesdyehard

I was wondering if anyone has ever noticed that thier farts smell different depending on what they've been eating.

Example:
When I drink draft beer my farts tend to smell eggy, and really have good hang time.

When I eat seafood my farts tend to smell almost like crude oil, and are very intense, but disperse rather quickly.

On occasion I get farts that smell almost like a garbage dumpster, I still haven't figured out why.

Chicken Noodle soup smells almost the same coming out as it does before I eat it.

I find this really fascinating, anyone else notice trends?

I had a bad case of these during poker night recently. Not a big hit with the crowd but I laughed all night.

[T@T]

Originally Posted by fotze

gay?

Scared of his doctor, what was he, a cahcktologist? The next progression to gay is liking the smell of poo, or some would say poo in gaseous form.

These are the rules i have read in the pope's gay protection handbook.

lol

[puckluck]

Originally Posted by T@T

Let me take a wild guess...single?

Wrong. Bitches love my farts.

[mikey_football]

Dog. Farts.

My poor old dog is turning 9, and all of a sudden she has just started crankin' them out like no tomorrow. No change of diet, or anything. Even my 89 year old grandfather (who can barely smell/hear/etc...) notices them farts during Thanksgiving, christmas, etc.

The best is when she is sleeping, and absolutely lets one rip. She wakes herself up, looks at us, then sniffs the air like "who was that?" Then follows the smell all the way to her butt. She then looks at us stupidly like: "was that me?" Then proceeds to fall back asleep like nothing happened.

Yes you dumb dog. You cleared my grandfather's nostrils and sent my 5 year old daughter into stitches......thanks.

[HPLovecraft]

Originally Posted by mikey_football

Dog. Farts.

My poor old dog is turning 9, and all of a sudden she has just started crankin' them out like no tomorrow. No change of diet, or anything. Even my 89 year old grandfather (who can barely smell/hear/etc...) notices them farts during Thanksgiving, christmas, etc.

The best is when she is sleeping, and absolutely lets one rip. She wakes herself up, looks at us, then sniffs the air like "who was that?" Then follows the smell all the way to her butt. She then looks at us stupidly like: "was that me?" Then proceeds to fall back asleep like nothing happened.

Yes you dumb dog. You cleared my grandfather's nostrils and sent my 5 year old daughter into stitches......thanks.

She could have some type of intestinal tract issue at her age. Maybe even cancer.

[Mtt48]

One time I drank a lot of draft beer, got really hammered, and ended up going to Tim Horton's on the way home. I had the chili. Anyways, the next 2 days my farts were out of this world nasty. Everyone around me was furious with me, but they could not be contained. Anyways, my girlfriend ended up staying at her parents house those nights and I have not had that chili again.

[flamesdyehard]

Originally Posted by HPLovecraft

She could have some type of intestinal tract issue at her age. Maybe even cancer.

That is not what this thread is about... Killjoy.

[HPLovecraft]

Originally Posted by flamesdyehard

That is not what this thread is about... Killjoy.

It's possible that all of you have cancer. Seriously, go to the doctor. You may be smelling tumor farts.

[flamesdyehard]

Originally Posted by fotze

Gay?

Scared of his doctor, what was he, a cahcktologist? The next progression to gay is liking the smell of poo, or some would say poo in gaseous form.

These are the rules I have read in the Pope's Gay Protection Handbook.

Well call me Gay then, because I love cranking out a good fart and then eating it for supper under my blanket. There is nothing more satifying than waking up and smelling nothing but ass all over the room. Love it errrrytime.

[flamesdyehard]

Originally Posted by HPLovecraft

It's possible that all of you have cancer. Seriously, go to the doctor. You may be smelling tumor farts.

It's also possible that I'll get hit by a car tomorrow. I don't worry about it. I am just concerned with getting the most out of every fart. Sometimes I will hold in a poo just for the purpose of filtering a few more nasty farts out. It's worth the pain.

[flamesdyehard]

Originally Posted by Calgary '89

I had a bad case of these during poker night recently. Not a big hit with the crowd but I laughed all night.

What do you think causes this?

[Red Slinger]

Originally Posted by mikey_football

Dog. Farts.

My poor old dog is turning 9, and all of a sudden she has just started crankin' them out like no tomorrow. No change of diet, or anything. Even my 89 year old grandfather (who can barely smell/hear/etc...) notices them farts during Thanksgiving, christmas, etc.

The best is when she is sleeping, and absolutely lets one rip. She wakes herself up, looks at us, then sniffs the air like "who was that?" Then follows the smell all the way to her butt. She then looks at us stupidly like: "was that me?" Then proceeds to fall back asleep like nothing happened.

Yes you dumb dog. You cleared my grandfather's nostrils and sent my 5 year old daughter into stitches......thanks.

My previous dog had a hilarious reaction when it came to his farts. He would be sitting around minding his own business, as dogs are apt to do, when out of nowhere we'd hear pop one out. Firstly, I've never had a dog that had audible farts before. As a matter of fact, my current dog will sleep right through it when she releases her own unique SBD concoction of "boiling vomit, rotting garlic & squirrel". She'll peel the paint off the walls, send us running for cover and not even open her eyes. I'm pretty sure she revels in. If she had thumbs I'm pretty sure she'd grab a blanket and Dutch Oven herself. Anyhoo...unlike my current WMD my previous dog was loud, harmless and hilarious. He'd toot and jump up like some invisible fart monster was attacking his arse. We have hardwood mostly so we'd hear his nails frantically trying to get some traction to escape from the terrible beast. Once in a while we'd be in another room in the house and hear him scrambling on the hardwood for dear life and we knew that his fart-arse monster was after him.

By the way, I heard once that Ethel Merrimen filed for divorce from Ernest Borgnine (RIP) because he would give her the Dutch Oven on a regular basis.

Yep, here it is> http://www.democraticunderground.com...ss=105x6346649

But things weren't exactly coming up roses for the Merm: she was allegedly subjected to the silent and deadly "Dutch Oven," which involved Borgnine releasing toxic fumes in bed while trapping her under the sheets.

My hero.

[Komskies]

Originally Posted by Mtt48

One time I drank a lot of draft beer, got really hammered, and ended up going to Tim Horton's on the way home. I had the chili. Anyways, the next 2 days my farts were out of this world nasty. Everyone around me was furious with me, but they could not be contained. Anyways, my girlfriend ended up staying at her parents house those nights and I have not had that chili again.

Tim Horton's chili has nothing on 7-11 chili. Put that on some nachos and you will fart for weeks.

[CaptainCrunch]

Originally Posted by Red Slinger

.

By the way, I heard once that Ethel Merrimen filed for divorce from Ernest Borgnine (RIP) because he would give her the Dutch Oven on a regular basis.

Yep, here it is> http://www.democraticunderground.com...ss=105x6346649



My hero.

[Frank MetaMusil]

Originally Posted by HPLovecraft

It's possible that all of you have cancer. Seriously, go to the doctor. You may be smelling tumor farts.

Doesn't holding the farts in give you cancer?

[Suzles]

Originally Posted by Red Slinger

By the way, I heard once that Ethel Merrimen filed for divorce from Ernest Borgnine (RIP) because he would give her the Dutch Oven on a regular basis.

Had to thank you for the dog story as it made me laugh so much but also so you know Ernest Borgnine is still alive - 93 years old!

[mikey_football]

Originally Posted by HPLovecraft

She could have some type of intestinal tract issue at her age. Maybe even cancer.

Thanks HP, but she has yearly vet checkups as all dogs do. (Last one was 2 weeks ago actually). The doctor did all those tests, and cleared her to be a healthy, happy, old dog that can't hold the farts anymore.

The worst is when she hasn't been farting all day, and guests come over. She sits, starts wagging her tail, and these loud obnoxious farts just start flowing out with every wag, in rhythm.