Except that you run the risk of the fake cough failure where coughing creates super pressure and your fart comes out far louder and more rattley then the cough that you were using to hide the sound.
So, I let one go in the van the other day and my 5 year old said it sounded like "a trumpet fart". Didn't smell though.
My wife's father, who is pushing 60 I'd say, ripped one when walking up the stairs a few years back in front of a house full of company and, without missing a beat, said "speak oh toothless wonder". I laughed for days.
You know, you can almost enjoy the smell of your own farts.
I have two young boys, and sometime is can be a real gas at my house.
The other day, my 2.5 year old was finished in the tub, so he pulled the plug, then he sat on the drain (hence blocking the drainage of the water), and he let a few farts go. The echo of it was quite amusing... at least his laughter helped make it amusing.
I was taking the elevator down to the ground level at work one day and was spaced out reading the news on those elevator screens. I felt a small rumble in my stomach due to the prior nights wing and rib fest, so as the door opened to the ground level, I ripped a helty and hot one then proceeded to get off the elevator.
At least I thought I was on the ground level. I was actually on the 6th floor. And an older lady got on the elevator. Immediately I knew the consequences. It was, as George Carlin once said, a fart that could end a marriage.
She gave me a really nasty look as we finally departed on the ground level.
I was taking the elevator down to the ground level at work one day and was spaced out reading the news on those elevator screens. I felt a small rumble in my stomach due to the prior nights wing and rib fest, so as the door opened to the ground level, I ripped a helty and hot one then proceeded to get off the elevator.
At least I thought I was on the ground level. I was actually on the 6th floor. And an older lady got on the elevator. Immediately I knew the consequences. It was, as George Carlin once said, a fart that could end a marriage.
She gave me a really nasty look as we finally departed on the ground level.
You need to learn the art of blaming others, as soon as she got on you had to blame the imaginary dude from the 7th floor in a convincing way.
There's nothing better than a pee fart. You know, you've been putting off going to the washroom, and it's built up, so you get to the washroom and it feels like the best piss you've ever taken, and then you cut a great loud one, echoing through the washroom.
I was taking the elevator down to the ground level at work one day and was spaced out reading the news on those elevator screens. I felt a small rumble in my stomach due to the prior nights wing and rib fest, so as the door opened to the ground level, I ripped a helty and hot one then proceeded to get off the elevator.
At least I thought I was on the ground level. I was actually on the 6th floor. And an older lady got on the elevator. Immediately I knew the consequences. It was, as George Carlin once said, a fart that could end a marriage.
She gave me a really nasty look as we finally departed on the ground level.
that's when you get off on the 6th floor and wait for the next elevator
Road trip farts are the best. Hit the window lock so no one can roll the windows down, blast a filthy one, sit back and enjoy the wretching sounds your friends make.
I'm a fan of crowded room farts too, because no one knows where it came from. Especially effective in the hallways leading to Flames games.
Except that you run the risk of the fake cough failure where coughing creates super pressure and your fart comes out far louder and more rattley then the cough that you were using to hide the sound.
Or you poop your pants a little.
Yes, nobody wants to be the skidmark steve in the group. Same could be said for the sneeze I suppose. A form of double cleansing.
Road trip farts are the best. Hit the window lock so no one can roll the windows down, blast a filthy one, sit back and enjoy the wretching sounds your friends make.
I'm a fan of crowded room farts too, because no one knows where it came from. Especially effective in the hallways leading to Flames games.
Ah yes my favorite trick in the book, except one time i wasn't quick enough and my cousin managed to sneak the window down to stick his head out. He released the button and I still had my finger on it so up it went. I had no idea what he was screaming about until i looked over and saw his head stuck in the window...serves him right for trying to avoid.
I'm pretty sure my ass was what caused the end of my first marriage
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Had one of these the other night - GNL (Gambled 'n' Lost). You take a gamble that it's going to be a fart and stay where you are, but tragically come to realize that this is much more than a fart... Next big gamble: do you put your underpants in the laundry basket and hope your wife won't notice, do you wash 'em out yourself, or do you throw 'em away?
