RANT: Calgary Minor Hockey

[Traditional_Ale]

Originally Posted by DementedReality

why is that brutal? im tired of being looked at by HC and association insiders with contempt and condescension.

WTF? You sound like you're whining about high school. Did you piss in someones cornflakes?

[RinkRat]

I've worked at my local Arena's for 10 years now, The parents directly involved with their given Minor hockey Associations, are always the worst.

Occasionally we get some overzealous parents that are positive their child is the "one" at the Atom age even......but overall it's the coaches, team managers, and minor hockey directors/volunteers that cause the most grief.

Oddly enough the parents that do have something to brag about like their son going #2 overall in the WHL Draft are very humble. Now heres hoping Tye Rattie has a breakout year in portland.

[DementedReality]

hey, well i guess im the only one who feels HC thinks little of the parents. rant off

[troutman]

The videos encourage good parents to confront the problem parents. Is this the best idea?

[Traditional_Ale]

Originally Posted by troutman

The videos encourage good parents to confront the problem parents. Is this the best idea?

If there are only one or two bad apples, the rest of the parents can mob-mentality them into behaving. Usually.

[DementedReality]

i know i said rant off ... but i cant believe HC thinks its their place to teach me how to parent my child!

for example, the question:

WHich basic human need is Sandra potentially jeopardizing for her son?
Safety
Physiological
Esteem
Love

So now, its not just about treating coaches and refs and other players with respect, they are going to teach me how to best develop my child away from the rink too?

I get it, parents are a problem but really, why is it HC place to teach us about parenting?

[CaptainCrunch]

I coached football, and I can tell you that some parents are the worst thing out their for their kids. Especially the ex jock of an old man who tries to recreat his career through his kid.

I've been screamed at and abused by Parents for playing little Johnny more then their little billy. I've been yelled at when we didn't win.

Its not all parents, but in every sport there are bozo's, and if they have to cast a wide net to calm them down or get rid of them, then cast away.

[Frank MetaMusil]

Originally Posted by CaptainCrunch

I coached football, and I can tell you that some parents are the worst thing out their for their kids. Especially the ex jock of an old man who tries to recreat his career through his kid.

I've been screamed at and abused by Parents for playing little Johnny more then their little billy. I've been yelled at when we didn't win.

Its not all parents, but in every sport there are bozo's, and if they have to cast a wide net to calm them down or get rid of them, then cast away.

Are these videos for all parents with kids enrolled in sports, or just specific to "hockey parents"?

[MelBridgeman]

Dood, as a coach for many years in calgary minor hockey at the aa and aaa level, this is needed, but you know the saying, it's always a small group the ruins it for the rest of us. So don't take it personally. But the biggest issues we coaches have IS some parents. Which in our mind is understandable, right off the bat there is a conflict, the coaches are trying to do whats best for 19 kids (the team) and parents wants whats best for their kid.....Having a group of parents who are 100% behind the coaches has never happened especially at the bantam aa/aaa level when superstar johnny was a star in community hockey and then plays quadrant hockey and he is no longer top dog, some parents have a harder time with that adjustment then their kids.

Everyone needs to be on the same page to have a successful season..bad coaches can ruin a season, bad kids can ruin a season and so can some bad parents. In the past few years a lot of quality coaches have just packed it in. It does need to be addressed.

Also i should note, that a lot of good coaches who write their end of season scouting reports for next level coaches ALSO scout parents. IT is true that when trying to decide between kid A and Kid B, that in the past we have chosen Kid A because of a bad scouting report on parents of Kid B.

[troutman]

Originally Posted by Frank MetaMusil

Are these videos for all parents with kids enrolled in sports, or just specific to "hockey parents"?

The videos describe all kinds of sports.

[DementedReality]

Originally Posted by CaptainCrunch

I coached football, and I can tell you that some parents are the worst thing out their for their kids. Especially the ex jock of an old man who tries to recreat his career through his kid.

I've been screamed at and abused by Parents for playing little Johnny more then their little billy. I've been yelled at when we didn't win.

Its not all parents, but in every sport there are bozo's, and if they have to cast a wide net to calm them down or get rid of them, then cast away.

and i maintain the parents who do what you describe are not going to be effected by a video course.

and at the risk of repeating myself, its not just the video. its the entire culture of Hockey Calgary that is condescending to parents.

[Frank MetaMusil]

Originally Posted by DementedReality

and i maintain the parents who do what you describe are not going to be effected by a video course.

and at the risk of repeating myself, its not just the video. its the entire culture of Hockey Calgary that is condescending to parents.

This is why I asked if it's a course specific to hockey. I'm sure you aren't alone in feeling like this, but if your kid enjoys hockey isn't that a good enough reason to do it?

[pope04]

Originally Posted by Frank MetaMusil

Is there a link somewhere to this stuff? Curious to know what the "course" consists of.....

I just finished the course so my two kids can play...........45 minutes or so, which you can do in one shot or over time.

Really, it's not that big of a deal. You do have to pay attention as there are "vignettes" and you have to answer questions.

I had a brief conversation this week with a lady whose son has played on my boy's team for a couple of years. Super nice woman, but very loud and obnoxious at games. She stated that after taking this course, she'll modify her behavior at games...hopefully.

Is this course going to make a world of difference? Maybe not, but it's a good start. 45 minutes is a small price to pay.

[DementedReality]

Originally Posted by Frank MetaMusil

This is why I asked if it's a course specific to hockey. I'm sure you aren't alone in feeling like this, but if your kid enjoys hockey isn't that a good enough reason to do it?

of course, thats why he is in hockey ... he loves it and makes great friends.

i can do without the elitism, clearly!

[Locke]

As a coach myself (soccer) I strongly abide by the 24 hour blackout. Only after games though, and its usually just to let the parents cool down so they can rationally explain their issue rather than have a screaming match with me.

The parents of kids that I coach learned quite quickly that they'll not win a yelling match with me, I am my father's son and I can be louder than anyone if I want to be. But thats not the point right?

I usually have an exception to the 24 hour rule, particularly in indoor soccer, which is that I stay at the pub after the game writing up my post-game notes and match report, if a parent wants to come in and talk to me, they are welcome to do so, but the pints are on them.

True story:

I coached a kid for a year and a half and this season would have made it 2 years, but I took all I could, as soon as another team opened up I flat out refused to take him. As soon as they handed me the registration list I crossed his name out immediately, and I mean literally within seconds of holding that list there was a line through his name rather than under it. Its that simple.

Why? His Dad. Plain and simple. His father was the single greatest soccer coach the world has ever seen that has never volunteered or coached a day in his life. The true story is that this man's kid was awful. I mean, absolutely, flat out, downs syndrome brutal, but he had a great attitude, was a wonderful team player and the whole team liked him, but he got less playing time than others and he understood why. Up until last season when he seemed to have finally inherited his dad's attitude and walked off the field after making a really hilariously awful mistake.

He quit on the team. That was the last straw. I was willing to put up with his father's attitude for a while based on the kid himself, but as soon as he displayed the same attitude he was cut right then.

This season, hes not on my team and hes upset about it. His friends are on my team but he made the final cardinal mistake, he got his dad to complain first to me, then to the club. Club had my back, and when I finally talked to him he knew exactly what he'd done.

Parents have a huge influence, no matter how badly you wished they didnt. That influence can go either way, it can be very positive, or it can be disastrously cancerous. Be a good parent, and you know what, if you have that much of a problem with the coaches then become one and change it.

As for me, I've taken more abuse over the last 5 years than I'd care to admit to, but I've also had 100% backing from a large majority of parents and the club, and it makes a huge difference.

[pope04]

Originally Posted by DementedReality

i dont know how anyone who has done this program isnt insulted by the condescending approach.

You realize that there are ESL/literacy issues? They had to target this course to the lowest common denominator.

[pope04]

Originally Posted by DementedReality

those 2 parents who really dont know this stuff arent going to change from a video!

Maybe after watching this course, one of the 8 "good" parents will feel empowered to enlighten the "bad" parents. Or maybe some of the "bad" parents will glean just a little something from this course.

[flambers]

24 hour policy "protects" the Coach from basically dealing with "stuff" the team manager can handle. Coach should be focusing on the kids not the parents. Of course not all parents are difficult.

I have heard this rule with Minor Hockey and Soccer.

Also I know many Coaches from Hockey who are totally "burnt" out due to Problem Parents.

Online course in my opinion was really well done and it was implemented last year.

[Sample00]

I have been a coach in minor hockey. I have been the President of a Minor Hockey Association. In every situation you will have good and bad from each side. Thats just the way it is.
Hockey Alberta states that it is a requirement to take a Speak Out course as one of the criteria for being a coach. The course revolves discusses the do's and don'ts of adult behaviour around the athletes. This course should be required of ALL parents of minor hockey players for your son or daughter to play. That is my opinion of course.
Hockey Calgary is a very large organization. I suspect that their issues are greatly amplified as compared to a rural community association, but probably not a lot of difference in the problem areas.
You may not like the videos or course but for the sake of your child, take it, sit through it and watch it, hell, take notes, because there will come a time in your son's/daughter's minor hockey career where you will need to reference that course. I guarantee it.

[pope04]

Originally Posted by fotze

This is my sons first year in timbits.

Good lord, fotze! How the time flies! It seems like just yesterday you posted the post-birth pics.