09-15-2010, 09:50 PM
|
#1
|
Powerplay Quarterback
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Victoria
|
Help us roast a 40 year old
Mrs Camo and I are going to a 40th birthday party this weekend and the victim’s wife wants all of the guests to prepare roast style jokes.
Birthday boy is thin, fashionable, baby faced, very successful artist, from Winnipeg  , obsessed with 1950’s kitsch – and in spite of all that he really is a cool dude. He’s a confident guy so we don’t really think anything is off limits.
CP, work your magic!
|
|
|
09-15-2010, 09:52 PM
|
#2
|
That Crazy Guy at the Bus Stop
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Springfield Penitentiary
|
Show everyone a picture with you bangin' his wife.
|
|
|
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to Cecil Terwilliger For This Useful Post:
|
|
09-15-2010, 09:54 PM
|
#3
|
Franchise Player
|
It'll take forever to roast something that size. Bring lots of water and go with a low temperature.
__________________
|
|
|
09-15-2010, 10:26 PM
|
#4
|
Scoring Winger
|
So if I understand this correctly, you want the internet to make you look funny.
|
|
|
09-15-2010, 10:32 PM
|
#5
|
First Line Centre
|
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ramsayfarian
So if I understand this correctly, you want the internet to make you look funny.
|
Easy for you to criticize. You look funny without the internet.
|
|
|
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to frinkprof For This Useful Post:
|
|
09-15-2010, 10:33 PM
|
#6
|
Playboy Mansion Poolboy
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Close enough to make a beer run during a TV timeout
|
What high school did he go to?
I'm just wondering if there's a chance I know him; same age as me and both of us from Winnipeg........
|
|
|
09-15-2010, 10:38 PM
|
#7
|
Powerplay Quarterback
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Victoria
|
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ramsayfarian
So if I understand this correctly, you want the internet to make you look funny.
|
No, I do a great job looking funny on my own. Fortunately, everyone will be focusing their attention on Mrs Camo, who is smokin  , so it doesn't matter.
Have anything funny to contribute?
|
|
|
09-15-2010, 10:43 PM
|
#8
|
Scoring Winger
|
Quote:
Originally Posted by frinkprof
Easy for you to criticize. You look funny without the internet.
|
At first I thought that was an insult, then I had my 10 year old niece explain it to me.
To make up for my transgression, I will contribute a joke for the roast.
"Bob has such lame-ass friends, that they had to consult the internet to suggest insults and this was the best they could come up with. "
|
|
|
09-15-2010, 10:46 PM
|
#9
|
Franchise Player
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: In my office, at the Ministry of Awesome!
|
Quote:
Originally Posted by hmmhmmcamo
Mrs Camo and I are going to a 40th birthday party this weekend and the victim’s wife wants all of the guests to prepare roast style jokes.
Birthday boy is thin, fashionable, baby faced, very successful artist, from Winnipeg  , obsessed with 1950’s kitsch – and in spite of all that he really is a cool dude. He’s a confident guy so we don’t really think anything is off limits.
CP, work your magic!
|
Wait, he's a thin, fashionable, baby faced artist who's into '50s kitsch?
Why don't you just finally out the guy?
Or you could go with "Hey, dirt called, it says you're old".
__________________
THE SHANTZ WILL RISE AGAIN.
 <-----Check the Badge bitches. You want some Awesome, you come to me!
|
|
|
09-15-2010, 10:48 PM
|
#10
|
First Line Centre
|
My suggestion: send Ramsayfarian in your place. Just watch out that he doesn't run off with your wife.
|
|
|
09-15-2010, 10:50 PM
|
#11
|
Franchise Player
Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Maple Ridge, BC
|
Say that he's gayer than jizz on a moustache.
|
|
|
The Following User Says Thank You to VANFLAMESFAN For This Useful Post:
|
|
09-15-2010, 10:54 PM
|
#12
|
First Line Centre
|
How thin is he? You could always go with 'First time I saw you in shorts I wasn't sure if those were actually your legs or if you were riding a chicken'.
|
|
|
09-15-2010, 10:57 PM
|
#13
|
Powerplay Quarterback
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Victoria
|
Quote:
Originally Posted by frinkprof
My suggestion: send Ramsayfarian in your place. Just watch out that he doesn't run off with your wife.
|
that's preposterous, my wife is too fat to run anywhere
|
|
|
09-15-2010, 11:01 PM
|
#14
|
Powerplay Quarterback
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Victoria
|
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bring_Back_Shantz
Why don't you just finally out the guy?
|
That's the obvious angle. I more want to rip on his profession only because I'm extremely jealous of how he gets to spend his time.
|
|
|
09-15-2010, 11:06 PM
|
#15
|
That Crazy Guy at the Bus Stop
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Springfield Penitentiary
|
Bring up bad or embarrassing things or stories about him. Then make fun of him for it.
Example
Everyone knows Bill already uses Viagra and he's just turned 40. Like that one time in Vegas when he kept going limp when he was with that she-male prostitute.
|
|
|
09-15-2010, 11:08 PM
|
#16
|
Lifetime In Suspension
|
Quote:
Originally Posted by hmmhmmcamo
That's the obvious angle. I more want to rip on his profession only because I'm extremely jealous of how he gets to spend his time.
|
"I remember the time he was painting with a collaborator. They made magic on the canvas. And after that they painted something."
|
|
|
09-15-2010, 11:12 PM
|
#17
|
Powerplay Quarterback
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Mahogany, aka halfway to Lethbridge
|
Here's a few attempts...
Hey bud, I've seen your place and Mad Men called, they need their s... back!
You know what else was popular in the 50's? Yo' Gramma!
We're all glad you're a successful artist since we all know you could never hold down a real job with your hookers and blow habit...
And now for my gift... a viagra sample pack... or maybe you really do like shopping for 50's kitsch?
What's grey and wrinkled?... An elephant? You wish, buddy... Of course so does your wife...
__________________
onetwo and threefour... Together no more. The end of an era. Let's rebuild...
|
|
|
The Following User Says Thank You to onetwo_threefour For This Useful Post:
|
|
09-15-2010, 11:19 PM
|
#18
|
Powerplay Quarterback
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Victoria
|
Quote:
Originally Posted by onetwo_threefour
Here's a few attempts...
Hey bud, I've seen your place and Mad Men called, they need their s... back!
You know what else was popular in the 50's? Yo' Gramma!
We're all glad you're a successful artist since we all know you could never hold down a real job with your hookers and blow habit...
And now for my gift... a viagra sample pack... or maybe you really do like shopping for 50's kitsch?
What's grey and wrinkled?... An elephant? You wish, buddy... Of course so does your wife...
|
nice work man...this is the direction we want to go
Last edited by hmmhmmcamo; 09-15-2010 at 11:19 PM.
Reason: or woman...if that's the case
|
|
|
09-15-2010, 11:28 PM
|
#19
|
Franchise Player
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: east van
|
Quote:
Originally Posted by kirant
It'll take forever to roast something that size. Bring lots of water and go with a low temperature.
|
20 minutes a pound at around 325.
|
|
|
09-15-2010, 11:34 PM
|
#20
|
Powerplay Quarterback
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Mahogany, aka halfway to Lethbridge
|
Depending on your audience...
I know a couple other 40 year olds that paint... Of course they're brain injured...
You're so full of yourself you can't find a canvas big enough for a self-portrait.
Your artwork has always been an inspiration to me. It's inspired me to look the other way...
BTW... I'm a man, man...
__________________
onetwo and threefour... Together no more. The end of an era. Let's rebuild...
|
|
|
The Following User Says Thank You to onetwo_threefour For This Useful Post:
|
|
Posting Rules
|
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
HTML code is Off
|
|
|
All times are GMT -6. The time now is 02:19 PM.
|
|