Over Protective Parents [Split from WGMG]

[Antithesis]

Originally Posted by sclitheroe

There’s two different ideas forming in this thread - one is the “when I was a kid” mentality.

The other one though, the one that interests me, is what happened to MY generation that I see so many people my age raising kids in such an over-protective, paranoid, sissy-state mentality. Maybe that element has always existed, I don’t know...but there’s something absurd and surreal about being told your kid, who rides a tricycle slower than they can run, should have a helmet on, otherwise they will suffer a grievous concussion.

I agree with much of what you've said here in this thread, in fact, I think we may have very similar parenting styles (aka, ones that make other parents aghast) ... as a teacher I have seen first hand, over and over, the seriously negative effect Helicopter Parents can have.

With respect to the tricycle thing, I agree that a helmet while riding a tricycle may not be needed for safety's sake, it may be good to have your kids use one to get in the habit of doing so. That being said, when transitioning a kid to a bike, I suppose you could say, "I'll trade you that tricycle for a bike and a helmet" and go from there. In all honesty, though, my arguing this point is all conjecture as my kids aren't even tricycle age yet.

[CaptainCrunch]

Originally Posted by Mr.Coffee

Parents today probably know more about potential danger or head injuries than parents of yesterday.

What's wrong with wearing a helmet?

Nothing is wrong with wearing a helmet, we made sure that all the sissy, namby pamby kids that hung out with us wore protective headgear.

The rest of us obviously knew how to fall.

[sclitheroe]

Originally Posted by Antithesis

With respect to the tricycle thing, I agree that a helmet while riding a tricycle may not be needed for safety's sake, it may be good to have your kids use one to get in the habit of doing so. That being said, when transitioning a kid to a bike, I suppose you could say, "I'll trade you that tricycle for a bike and a helmet" and go from there. In all honesty, though, my arguing this point is all conjecture as my kids aren't even tricycle age yet.

Which is exactly how we did it The big girl bike came with a helmet, and there were no questions asked.

[sclitheroe]

Originally Posted by Mr.Coffee

Parents today probably know more about potential danger or head injuries than parents of yesterday.

What's wrong with wearing a helmet?

If a kid needs a helmet to pedal a tricycle at less than adult walking speed, then they need a helmet all around the house too.

[Boblobla]

Originally Posted by sclitheroe

If a kid needs a helmet to pedal a tricycle at less than adult walking speed, then they need a helmet all around the house too.

Are you a parent? I am not being argumentative, just curious. I have a kid on the way and I am sure some of my opinions of dangers will change once he has arrived.

[Antithesis]

Originally Posted by sclitheroe

Which is exactly how we did it The big girl bike came with a helmet, and there were no questions asked.

Interesting, I actually thought of that while posting but decided to blaze ahead with the other point just for the sake of discussion. I'd imagine when it is time for the tricycle thing (probably in the spring?) we will do the no-helmet for now, but you get one with a bike strategy.

I think people almost feel as if parenting is a competition, like, you have to beat the other parents at caring for your kids. You know what, as long as my kids are happy and safe, and think I'm pretty good at being a Dad, that's good enough for me.

[sclitheroe]

Originally Posted by Boblobla

Are you a parent? I am not being argumentative, just curious. I have a kid on the way and I am sure some of my opinions of dangers will change once he has arrived.

Yup, parent of 3.

[Coach]

I think a lot of it is the sensationalism of the news. I mean I was pretty young at the time. But my parents never talked about us getting abducted or anything. And now all I hear is about the latest threats to our kids and health etc. All the parents feeding their kids organic stuff and shoving medicine down there troats for every little cold they get. Then we wonder where all these new allergies and stuff come from. Eat some freaking dirt!

EDIT: PS I love CC's post. Maybe minus the knives and I was raised pretty much the same. It hasn't been since i moved out that I've become "friends" with my Dad. Cuz he was a mean SOB growing up. If it wasn't done his way you slept in the garage. My little brother used to ride his bike around no helmet, no shoes, no shirt. When he was like 5. Wore out the treads on his tires before he outgrew the bike.

[afc wimbledon]

Originally Posted by CaptainCrunch

Man, I was raised in the generation of no harm no foul, if its a bruise its cool, if its a cut girls loved it by wouldn't admit it. Where your dad taught you how to defend yourself, where you didn't wear bike helmets or wrap your kids in bubble wrap. Where a cast was a right of passage and a black eye was absolutely awesome.

Where you didn't swarm during a scrap, and kicking your opponent when he was down was the act of a sissy girl fighter.

I was raised in a generation where your parents didn't give you a ride to school unless there was a damn good reason, where whether it was 30 above or 30 below you walked to the damn bus, usually when it was dark and you used back alley's as a short cut. And you never ever held your parents hands when you crossed the streets, every kid had a folding knife, and you warned your buddy that it was going to hurt when you shot him with a bb or pellet gun.

We weren't precious, or honey or baby, we were hey you, and sit down and shut up or better yet ssssssh the adults are talking now.

When the age of 18 is when you were free whether you moved out or went away to university, and if you were going to stay home you paid rent and laundry service.

I was raised in a generation where you got a swat on the butt if you acted up, bad grades meant a major grounding and a act of disrespect got you hauled behind the hypothetical woodshed for a wailing.

We weren't our parents best friends in the whole wide world, they were the law and we existed at their suffereage, but no matter how bad times were, we always had clothes, good food, and the other necessitates.

Where we ran out the door in the summer and it wasn't "Call me pokey" or "Don't leave my sight" but "Be home when the sun comes down"

We had a social structure, we didn't beat up younger kids, and nerds were a target for a swirly or a red belly.

Our society is going through a period of softening, and it won't be long until our leaders are whimps, mamma's boys and sissy's that need their blankey.

Meanwhile out jungle Charlie doesn't get no r'n'r just a little rat meat and some rice.

[sclitheroe]

Originally Posted by Antithesis

I think people almost feel as if parenting is a competition, like, you have to beat the other parents at caring for your kids. You know what, as long as my kids are happy and safe, and think I'm pretty good at being a Dad, that's good enough for me.

Yup. Ultimately, parents have to do what they have to do to be to be parents. For some people, that means following the school bus, over-sized, mis-adjusted helmets for the tricycle that the kid can barely pedal, leashes in malls, not being allowed to cross the road in the cul-de-sac, etc.

Look again at that picture in the Herald article that started this thread - there are a great many parents who go around thinking about their kids with the kind of fear and dread being portrayed there. I’d like to know how/where that came from for this generation of parents. Maybe its the specialty cable channels that have force fed us a vision of what a perfect household looks like.

I actually know a family who will not drive on a highway in a single vehicle with their kids - they take two cars, so that if one of them is in a fatal accident, at least the kids will have one parent left. I asked her what would happen if one of them hit the other one and wiped them both out, and she looked like she was going to cry. I didn’t mean to upset her, it was just the first thing that came to mind.

[Antithesis]

Originally Posted by sclitheroe

Look again at that picture in the Herald article that started this thread - there are a great many parents who go around thinking about their kids with the kind of fear and dread being portrayed there. I’d like to know how/where that came from for this generation of parents. Maybe its the specialty cable channels that have force fed us a vision of what a perfect household looks like.

I'd imagine that a lot of it has to do with the amount and accessability of news that this generation has that others did not. You have so much news, that the time has to be filled with something, so people get this idea that being a kid is substantially more dangerous now than it was when we were kids.

Not to mention, and maybe this is getting into weird conspiracy-theory type stuff, but when we were kids, not only was there less news, but there was a completely different 'villain' to focus the viewer on (Communists) where right now, there isn't really that built in enemy, so news channels have to find something else to scare people with to get them to watch. After all, "Everything is alright; being a kid today is safer than it was 25 years ago" isn't exciting enough to get eyeballs glued to the TV.

[4X4]

My first reaction before reading the article was to likely agree that people are crazy. Then I opened the article and saw a familiar face.

I know Krista very well, and I swear that she's not crazy, and she's not a helicopter parent. I haven't called her to ask why she was following the bus, but I'm sure there's a reasonable explanation. She's a very logical person, and probably one of the smartest people I've ever met. Maybe she just wanted to know the route or something. Lol. I'm having a hard time defending this because if I didn't know her, I'd be piling on about the over-protectiveness of 'parents these days', but since I do know her, and I can vouch for her sanity (friendship with me notwithstanding), and I'm here to tell you that there MUST be a reasonable explanation.

And FTR, that's a pretty bad pic. She's a doll.

[urban1]

Google "Peter Lenz". This 12 year olds recent death has raised a lot discussion about parenting.

http://www.theglobeandmail.com/life/...rticle1690935/

He was 13 years old, 4-feet, 11-inches tall, weighed fewer than 100 pounds and died racing a motorcycle capable of reaching speeds of more than 200 kilometres an hour. The other racer involved in the fatal crash was only 12.

To those outside the racing world, it’s a shock that boys so young would be allowed to race so fast. But for those more familiar with motor sports, it was only the death of racing star Peter Lenz that shocked, as kids his age and younger are increasingly common competitors on high-speed tracks across North America.

Many kids start with motocross dirt biking at four, and mini-bike riding as young as seven, then move up to light full-size motorcycles at about age 13. Canadian motorcycle racing star Brett McCormick, for instance, was racing on an adult-size bike at age 13.

[Antithesis]

Originally Posted by 4X4

My first reaction before reading the article was to likely agree that people are crazy. Then I opened the article and saw a familiar face.

I know Krista very well, and I swear that she's not crazy, and she's not a helicopter parent. I haven't called her to ask why she was following the bus, but I'm sure there's a reasonable explanation. She's a very logical person, and probably one of the smartest people I've ever met. Maybe she just wanted to know the route or something. Lol. I'm having a hard time defending this because if I didn't know her, I'd be piling on about the over-protectiveness of 'parents these days', but since I do know her, and I can vouch for her sanity (friendship with me notwithstanding), and I'm here to tell you that there MUST be a reasonable explanation.

I'm not writing this post in order to disparage your friend, far from it, but schools make bus route maps available to parents in the week leading up to school beginning. While I disagree with helicoptering/overprotective behavior, as a parent, I can see how it happens and how easy it could be for some to give in to that type of urge (for lack of a better word).

As an outsider, with little explanation regarding the situation from the woman involved, I'd say it really seems like a case of someone simply being uncomfortable with the first day back/separation blues. I can't help but wholeheartedly disagree with her characterization of this incident as being a confirmation of her fears that school buses are unsafe. If the driver is at fault for anything in this case, it is being far too accomodating to her. Without knowing anything of her child's situation, it does seem like classic helicoptering to me (but you'd know better than I regarding her parenting style). After all, I can't really see any rationale for this action on her part; what possibly could it have accomplished?

Again - I'd just like to reiterate that I'm not trying to say anything insulting toward your friend, just my outside observations. Would love to hear her reasoning for this.

[sclitheroe]

Originally Posted by Antithesis

As an outsider, with little explanation regarding the situation from the woman involved, I'd say it really seems like a case of someone simply being uncomfortable with the first day back/separation blues. I can't help but wholeheartedly disagree with her characterization of this incident as being a confirmation of her fears that school buses are unsafe. If the driver is at fault for anything in this case, it is being far too accomodating to her.

According to the article, the bus rolled 10 feet - that’s 1/4 it’s total length, and she was screaming. That’s a bit odd. The issue here, and it would be unfair to dismiss her feeling and attitudes toward bus safety, is that she was this wound up about it prior to the trip, necessitating her following it.

[4X4]

Originally Posted by Antithesis

I'm not writing this post in order to disparage your friend, far from it, but schools make bus route maps available to parents in the week leading up to school beginning. While I disagree with helicoptering/overprotective behavior, as a parent, I can see how it happens and how easy it could be for some to give in to that type of urge (for lack of a better word).

As an outsider, with little explanation regarding the situation from the woman involved, I'd say it really seems like a case of someone simply being uncomfortable with the first day back/separation blues. I can't help but wholeheartedly disagree with her characterization of this incident as being a confirmation of her fears that school buses are unsafe. If the driver is at fault for anything in this case, it is being far too accomodating to her. Without knowing anything of her child's situation, it does seem like classic helicoptering to me (but you'd know better than I regarding her parenting style). After all, I can't really see any rationale for this action on her part; what possibly could it have accomplished?

Again - I'd just like to reiterate that I'm not trying to say anything insulting toward your friend, just my outside observations. Would love to hear her reasoning for this.

I appreciate your careful wording. She's an old friend, and I'm not looking to debate character.

I really have no idea what actually happened that day. I just know that she's not the kind of weirdo that I would be imagining if I read this story and didn't know her.

I bolded the one part because one of the explanations I've dreamed up was that maybe her kid has major anxiety issues. Just a possible explanation that I probably never would have bothered to think of if I didn't know Krista.

But aside from this story in particular, I think I agree with the general sentiment of this thread. When I was a kid, I had to walk to the friggin bus stop. I can only imagine asking my mom for a ride. She probably would have laughed in my face. Oh, and I had to make my own lunch, too.

[4X4]

Originally Posted by sclitheroe

According to the article, the bus rolled 10 feet - that’s 1/4 it’s total length, and she was screaming. That’s a bit odd. The issue here, and it would be unfair to dismiss her feeling and attitudes toward bus safety, is that she was this wound up about it prior to the trip, necessitating her following it.

Ok, I don't want to go overboard with my defense of her, but screaming when a school bus starts to roll is not entirely unreasonable. I mean, chicks (and even some dudes) scream when a bee flies near.
The "fact" that it was only 10 feet is moot. The scream likely happened when the bus started to move, not when it moved 10 feet and stopped. What shoudl she do? Wait for it to move more than 10 feet before losing her sh*t?

Anyway, not trying to stir the pot here. Just saying that when you really think about how some things are worded, they can easily be taken more than one way.

[sclitheroe]

Originally Posted by 4X4

Ok, I don't want to go overboard with my defense of her, but screaming when a school bus starts to roll is not entirely unreasonable. I mean, chicks (and even some dudes) scream when a bee flies near.
The "fact" that it was only 10 feet is moot. The scream likely happened when the bus started to move, not when it moved 10 feet and stopped. What shoudl she do? Wait for it to move more than 10 feet before losing her sh*t?

Anyway, not trying to stir the pot here. Just saying that when you really think about how some things are worded, they can easily be taken more than one way.

Yeah, I mean who really knows how far it moved exactly anyways in a story like this, whether it was a slow creep or a lurch, etc.

Like I said, it’s more interesting to me how one gets to the point that they feel obligated to follow a school bus, because she’s definitely not the only one that does it; I can look out my window and see two or three other houses where that was the day-1 pattern. On the same block are other parents who will DRIVE their kids a block and a half to the school bus stop every morning.

[Calgaryborn]

Well if it makes any of you old timers feel better about the next generation: My 10 year old got 24 staples and some internal stitches on his inner thigh after taking a jump on his mountain bike this spring. He landed on one of the handles of his brother's bike. It left a real cool "L" shaped scar on his upper thigh. Unfortunately he'll have to know the girl pretty well before showing it to her.

[Rhettzky]

Originally Posted by sclitheroe

Like I said, it’s more interesting to me how one gets to the point that they feel obligated to follow a school bus, because she’s definitely not the only one that does it; I can look out my window and see two or three other houses where that was the day-1 pattern.

It's just the first day of class anxiety and the parents attempt to make their kid feel as comfortable as they can. Not saying I'd ever follow a bus but my daughter was extremely anxious about her first day of class. She had no troubles in pre-school or kindergarten but grade one was the first time she would be spending a full day and lunch hour at school and she was really scared about not eating lunch at home. So we did everything we could to get her prepared for her first day. She was still scared up until the last minute but after it was over she could hardly wait to get back for day two.