The "funny posts from around CP" thread

[YourMother]

Does anyone else remember spoonboy? He had some pretty ridiculous posts...no one could figure out if he was a troll or actually handicapped

[socalwingfan]

Polly Peena had the best drive-by posts of all time

[Dorkmaster]

I had a good chuckle at the end of the vote for my mom Pillsbury contest thread.

[algernon]

I would like to read Lanny_Mcdonald's last post(s). I bet they'd be funny.

[YourMother]

Another classic was JiriHrdina being called a Mexican

[ResAlien]

Originally Posted by YourMother

Another classic was JiriHrdina being called a Mexican

Alas, that post has been deleted and is in Mod board limbo. An oldie, but my take on that exchange

[Phanuthier]

I don't have the link, and someone else posted it in some CP HOF thread, but the time when MMF wouldn't accept his Fata.

[Heavy Jack]

Originally Posted by TheyCallMeBruce

This post made me laugh for days.

Your signature sort of gave that away...

For my favorite quote look in my signature as well :P Made me laugh out loud the first time I read it lol

[Jimmy Stang]

I had a good laugh at krazycanuck's jihad that won his mom a kitchen suite. After announcing that he won (post 332), some of the losers in the contest got their noses out of joint and one of them, "conscience", joined us for a couple of days on CP (around post 360). Obviously, she didn't know what she was walking into.

http://forum.calgarypuck.com/showthread.php?t=83916

[puckluck]

Originally Posted by Conscience

You as a collective group do know how to dig a real big hole

Originally Posted by KevanGuy

Fortunately we can fill it with a new kitchen suite.

I laughed.

[Rathji]

Originally Posted by Jimmy Stang

I had a good laugh at krazycanuck's jihad that won his mom a kitchen suite. After announcing that he won (post 332), some of the losers in the contest got their noses out of joint and one of them, "conscience", joined us for a couple of days on CP (around post 360). Obviously, she didn't know what she was walking into.

http://forum.calgarypuck.com/showthread.php?t=83916

I had no idea that thread blew up like that, I assumed the voting had just got crazy.

[Scoopdogg]

JurassicTunga12
Backup Goalie



Join Date: Mar 2010
Exp:


How many goals will we score next season in total
Just for fun.

My Predictions

Iginla - 35
Backlund - 20
Bourque - 25 - 30
Stajan - 20
Hagman - 25
Kotalik - 20
Higgins - 15 - 20
Langkow - 20
Dawes - 15
Nystrom - 10
Glencross - 10
Sutter - 10
Moss - 15

Bouwmeester - 10
Giordano - 15
Regehr - 5
Sarich - 5
Pardy - 5
Pelech - 5
Staios - 3

Total: 278 Goals <-- could be off



MODS: If this is not worthy of it's own thread, delete if you wish.

[Prototype]

I think it got lost in one of the server moves, but the KevanGuy picture thread had me in tears back in the day.

[wooohooo]

Originally Posted by Jimmy Stang

I had a good laugh at krazycanuck's jihad that won his mom a kitchen suite. After announcing that he won (post 332), some of the losers in the contest got their noses out of joint and one of them, "conscience", joined us for a couple of days on CP (around post 360). Obviously, she didn't know what she was walking into.

http://forum.calgarypuck.com/showthread.php?t=83916

I just re-read the whole thread. Oh man that was great...

[Locke]

Originally Posted by malcolmk14

http://forum.calgarypuck.com/showthr...36#post2022736

Take note of who he is calling a troll.

Still cracks me up to this very day!

[First Lady]

I might be a bit bias.... okay very bias.... but I like this one.....

http://forum.calgarypuck.com/showthread.php?t=67562

Never in my seismic career have I had so many standby days on a prairie job. The winds are blasting, the helicopter is grounded (we were looking at every option) and even the plows wont go out.

I should have known from the first omen of the morning. I had a magnificent movement. I could almost hear an angelic choir singing as my body eagerly purged the remnants of the chili soup from the other night as the paint on the walls bubbled to the beat. While aglow in the aftermath of my intense and monumental creation, I reluctantly depressed the lever to send my aftermath to its watery grave. Instead of the expected clockwise circling of a prairie burial at sea, the roiling waters rose and threatened the rim of the bowl. I had plugged the ^%$&^%$ toilet solid. Thankfully the dreaded waters ceased to rise a short centimeter from the top of the bowl and remained there. My preparations for the building of an arc were deferred.

Shamefully I trod to the front desk to inquire as to the whereabouts of a trout-pusher (plunger for non-initiates). Tommy Lee was on duty. Not the rock star but the nearly as famous Korean man who has only recently mastered the English term of "herro". Of course simply asking for a plunger was futile; I had to play a graphic game of charades with him in a lobby where other guests dejected by the weather lingered. Finally the candle lit above his little head as I furiously depicted myself standing above a toilet and pushing feces down the hole with something in my hand rather than using my hand itself.

This led to another odyssey as Mr. Lee and I toured every maintenance and laundry room in the motel searching for the elusive plumbers’ helper. Our efforts were for naught though it was enlightening to see all those hidden treasures that guests take for granted and rarely view in those rooms dedicated to the running of such as fine institution as this. None of the regular staff was in yet as it is indeed the first day of the New Year and apparently one had run off with the plunger.

Sadly I had to leave my floating mess and leave for the field only imagining how fine the view and aroma would be when some unfortunate and likely hung over maid finally gets to my room. We only made it about 15 km from town when we pulled over for almost an hour to await the word from the line crew as to whether we would have a plow or not.

With a profound lack of foresight, I had let my bladder fill as my morning coffees made their way through my system quickly as they were unencumbered by breakfast. Upon returning to the motel and nearly at the point of saturation I had nowhere to relieve myself. I had to beg a coworker from across the hall to use his toilet. I mean beg as he made me promise that I was only peeing and not pooping as he had experienced my flatulence before and no amount of money in the world was going to let my arse touch his toilet seat.

As I blissfully relieved myself with a pressure that only long suffering can create, I peered around the small room. From behind the toilet I saw peeking what appeared to be a wooden handle. I lean around to inquire more closely and JOY!!!! It was the missing plunger. The coworker had gotten it last night for his plugged toilet and forgot to return it.

I marched proudly from his bathroom and across the hall to my own. I had plunger in hand but did have growing trepidation. Upon lifting the lid my fears were proven correct. Things had gone from bad to worse as the immersion had caused the creation to transform into something rather looser. There was no way to knock something aside and plunge without the dread squishing. I simply had to dive in and start pumping at it.

Either way no sense going into detail; that would be gross. The toilet is now clear.

So how is your morning going babe?

[worth]

[puckluck]

That's the user REN who ate his pubes?

[burn_this_city]

Yes!

[jschick88]

A year to date. The Heatley to Oilers Saga. Probably one of the best nights I ever had on CP.

http://forum.calgarypuck.com/showthr...heatley+oilers