Giving up your seat...

[anyonebutedmonton]

I want to hear some opinions on something that happened to me this morning, specifically from others who are forced to ride the c-train daily. Normally if I realized that someone is struggling, be it for disability or old age, I would give up my seat for them without question. I understand that some people have a more difficult time standing than a 24yr old male who is in decent shape. Here is the situation that occurred this morning:

I get on at crowfoot which provides me the benefit of normally getting a seat as it is the first stop. I often skip a train that is full and wait the extra 5 - 10 minutes so I can get a seat for the ride in. This morning I was reading on my iPad, not paying attention to much (its 7am and I am half asleep) when a 50ish lady bluntly asks me "can I have your seat". I of course gave it to her partly out of chivalry but also partly because of how public her request was. It was obvious she asked me in a way that no one would turn her down.

The more I thought about it the more it kind of pissed me off. She was by no means in a position where standing would have been uncomfortable. The only reason my ungodly 1hr commute is bearable is that in the mornings I can sit with my coffee and read. Do I owe it to someone, who has the ability to stand, to give up my seat simply because she is a woman and is older than me? Honestly if that were the case every day I would look at another form of transportation. Should I feel bad for sitting every time an oldish age female boards the train and has to stand? Honest question...

[Northendzone]

my thought is that you should ahve given up your seat - you are 24 - she is possibly twice as old as you.

i do understand your frustration in having to give up your seat though and I suppose it was awkward the way she made the request.

[worth]

While I don't really endorse people asking for a seat, I would still say yes, you owe the seat to a woman, regardless of age.

The pussification of our society is mind boggling. People can go for days without verbally talking to each other or even acknowledging anyone because they have their headphones in and their thumbs texting away. Not referring to you specifically, but just a general disconnect between people these days, and a lack of manners and good will towards others.

I'm a stout advocate of the olden days of manliness and giving your seat up is something that all gentlemen should be taught and actually put to practice, however, it doesn't seem like the majority of people care anymore.

[SteveToms]

MOD EDIT: Not appropriate

[GreenLantern]

She should never have asked you and put you into that position in the first place.

To avoid this situation, put ear buds in. Even if you aren't listening to anything just put them in and then most likely nobody will even ask you.

I understand it is the polite thing to do to give up your seat etc.. but just because you are young doesnt mean she can take advantage of you like that. I think that she should be ashamed of herself.

[Phaneuf3]

Being able to stand briefly/walk somewhat normally is sometimes different then being able to stand in a moving vehicle for 30-40 minutes without pain or discomfort for some people.

Also, what fotze said.

[worth]

Originally Posted by GreenLantern

To avoid this situation, put ear buds in. Even if you aren't listening to anything just put them in and then most likely nobody will even ask you.

This is the attitude I'm talking about and I find this very sad.

[GreenLantern]

Mod edit

[albertGQ]

Thats why you sit in the middle set of seats. Those aren't priority seating

I take the bus and make an effort to sit in the back so I am not required/forced to give up my seat. My bus ride is long and would rather drive then stand the whole way

[GreenLantern]

Originally Posted by worth

This is the attitude I'm talking about and I find this very sad.

Screw that. This woman took advantage of him. She knew he wouldn't say no that is why she asked. If it was me I would have said Nah, then waited for the next old person to come along and given THEM my seat. Right in front of this old hag.

There are two types of people in this world that really piss me off, those who take advantage of others, and draft dodgers.

[albertGQ]

Also, my knees are not 100% due to sports so it is uncomfortable for me to stand the whole trip. That is why you sit in the back of the bus. The old and disabled never go back there, especially those long acordian style buses

[Jackpot_Smooth]

Originally Posted by Northendzone

my thought is that you should ahve given up your seat - you are 24 - she is possibly twice as old as you.

i do understand your frustration in having to give up your seat though and I suppose it was awkward the way she made the request.

Would an in-shape 24 year old woman be expected to yield her seat to a 50+ year old woman that is neither disabled and in relatively good health?

what if the woman approached a 40 year old man and asked for the seat? is it slightly less justified?

maybe un-chivalris (sp?) of me but i feel that if you're able to stand, one should not have to yield their seat because of older traditions and expectations. That being said, if someone out right asked me like that i would have given up my seat to to avoid a confrontation.

[amorak]

You're a young man - The only person you DON'T give your seat up to is a YOUNGER man. Any woman gets your seat. In fact, you're a jerk for not having OFFERED her your seat. I see a tonne of nerds on their iphones, etc on the bus when i am forced to take it who let woman stand. You're a man, show some balls and stand, let a lady have your seat. I never sit, I always offer my seat to the woman.

[frinkprof]

Just for clarification, where did this request occur? Was i at Crowfoot or shortly thereafter?

[MJM]

I'll always give up my seat for the elderly, a pregnant woman, a child (or a mother with a small child), or someone who clearly has a disability (mental or physical). Other than that, not a chance, and I would told that woman in a not so polite way what to do with herself.

Why the hell do I have to give up a seat just because someone is a little older than me or is a woman? You want equal rights (no sexism or ageism), than it works both way. You can't have it both ways. I most certainly won't be going out of my way to help a generation who made it for the first time that the generation beneath them will be worse off than they are.

[enthused]

Do you sit at a desk all day? I'm sure standing on the train to and from work wont kill you, in fact, I think it'd probably be good for you.

[Huntingwhale]

I always put in my earbuds and stare out the window without making eye contact. That way people never ask me for the seat. Although if l do see an older person l will voluntarily give it up. If it were a younger lady and she asked me that in an 'embarassing' type manner like she did, l would say sure, but only if you go out on a date with me. That way you don't look like a giant puss for giving up the seat and she get embarassed back.

[GreenLantern]

Originally Posted by amorak

You're a young man - The only person you DON'T give your seat up to is a YOUNGER man. Any woman gets your seat. In fact, you're a jerk for not having OFFERED her your seat. I see a tonne of nerds on their iphones, etc on the bus when i am forced to take it who let woman stand. You're a man, show some balls and stand, let a lady have your seat. I never sit, I always offer my seat to the woman.

Ok well if we are living in the 30s still then maybe next time you should give her a nice firm pat on the bottom for support, and mention how great it is she decided to leave the kitchen for a day to run errands for her busy husband.

Maybe mention that to all of the women on the bus, then take up smoking because we all know how popular that is in the 30's.

[SteveToms]

This thread is so full of stupid.

[Rhettzky]

I find it odd that she would ask. But maybe she had early arthritis or some joint pain issues. I would have given up my seat but I tend to stand on the C-train when it's packed anyways because I'm not a fan of having aisle a$$es at face level.