My wife & I are separating

[Rerun]

Originally Posted by username

What ends up costing a person more? Spending 5 grand on a lawyer to quickly end a divorce and be able move on with your life or plotting how to beat your ex in the divorce and causing all sorts of emotional pain for you, your ex and your kids?

It shouldn't be about money, that's just one small aspect of a divorce.

... it all comes down to how reasonable your soon to be ex-wife is being.

[troutman]

Originally Posted by Rerun

A guy I know who got screwed in the divorce settlement (she had a very good lawyer... he had an incompetent one) would beg to differ.

Whoever said women are the weaker sex never had to face a women in divorce court who was out to make her husband pay for all the perceived wrongs he's done her throughout their marriage.

I assume you are only hearing one side of the story.

The law in Alberta (Canada) does not take into account "perceived wrongs" in determining support and division of property.

[T@T]

Originally Posted by username

What ends up costing a person more? Spending 5 grand on a lawyer to quickly end a divorce and be able move on with your life or plotting how to beat your ex in the divorce and causing all sorts of emotional pain for you, your ex and your kids?

It shouldn't be about money, that's just one small aspect of a divorce.

5 grand..lol

It cost me over 17 grand on 2 lawyers, over 30 grand in spousal support over 18 months only to end up giving her the house with little mortgage left on it.

If lawyers see equity their eyes light up and they'll drag it on and on till someone gives and they get a good chunk. The second lawyer I hired (first one was an idiot) who I since became friends with flat out admitted that's the way it works with the high priced divorce lawyers.

Dumbest thing you can do is get lawyers involved when you can hire an arbitrator for $1000.00 who will split things up fairly and do your own mutual divorce for $300.00.

The toughest part is getting the wife to agree with no lawyers, the women are protected far to much in this province and they know it.

[T@T]

Originally Posted by troutman

I assume you are only hearing one side of the story.

The law in Alberta (Canada) does not take into account "perceived wrongs" in determining support and division of property.

What do you do for a living again?

[Rerun]

Originally Posted by T@T

5 grand..lol


Dumbest thing you can do is get lawyers involved when you can hire an arbitrator for $1000.00 who will split things up fairly and do your own mutual divorce for $300.00.

The toughest part is getting the wife to agree with no lawyers, the women are protected far to much in this province and they know it.

Totally agree with this. If you can come to a reasonable and fair resolution, without lawyers, this is the best way to go.

.... but then everyone has their own idea of what is fair and reasonable.... even before a lawyer whispering in his or her ear.

[troutman]

Originally Posted by T@T

the women are protected far to much in this province and they know it.

I strongly disagree.

[Jetsfan]

If you need a place to vent or let off some steam...

http://www.experienceproject.com/gro...te-My-Wife/409

[Ozy_Flame]

CrazyCaper, DEFINITELY play Lotto Max tonight. Get 5 tickets and cross your fingers. I'm almost certain you'd cheer up and feel better about the whole situation with $50 million in your pocket!

[VladtheImpaler]

Originally Posted by Ozy_Flame

CrazyCaper, DEFINITELY play Lotto Max tonight. Get 5 tickets and cross your fingers. I'm almost certain you'd cheer up and feel better about the whole situation with $25 million in your pocket!

fyp

[pylon]

Sorry to hear about the split... definitely sucky.

But... is it really a good idea to plot your divorce strategy in an online forum? I would think there is a pretty good chance she knows your identity on here, and could be contacting all the recommended lawyers as they are being posted. Just sayin....

[VladtheImpaler]

Originally Posted by pylon

Sorry to hear about the split... definitely sucky.

But... is it really a good idea to plot your divorce strategy in an online forum? I would think there is a pretty good chance she knows your identity on here, and could be contacting all the recommended lawyers as they are being posted. Just sayin....

A bit paranoid, but that's why I suggested he PM me instead of posting a name.

[-TC-]

Originally Posted by troutman

I strongly disagree.

As do I. That was not my experience at all. In fact, my ex went in this a laundry list of stuff she wanted and got none of it. I got joint custody, a reasonable level of child support and very fair access to my daughter...who, by the way, now lives with me full time.

Collaberative family law is low-key and focused at protecting the rights of the child to have reasonable access to both parents and away from confrontation and expensive legal battles.

[T@T]

Originally Posted by troutman

I strongly disagree.

Any examples?

I have one on a personal note.

My wife was a professional making 6 figures, because I allowed her to quit her job and stay home with the kid (she claimed she was cranky because of stress at work) I had to continue to pay for her to stay home when we separated. She refused to go back to work and the judge wouldn't make her.

After 19 months and about $500 grand of my losses later the papers were signed she was at work the next day.

I would love to see a case where a professional man could get away with that crap. I have a feeling the judge would march him to a job.

[CrazyCaper]

Originally Posted by pylon

Sorry to hear about the split... definitely sucky.

But... is it really a good idea to plot your divorce strategy in an online forum? I would think there is a pretty good chance she knows your identity on here, and could be contacting all the recommended lawyers as they are being posted. Just sayin....

She knows I post on here but doesn't know my logon. She has been pretty civil up to this point and I'm hoping things can remain that way. I guess we'll see if she lives up to that end of the bargain.

[T@T]

Originally Posted by CrazyCaper

She knows I post on here but doesn't know my logon. She has been pretty civil up to this point and I'm hoping things can remain that way. I guess we'll see if she lives up to that end of the bargain.

You don't need to log on to read this forum.

[Rerun]

Originally Posted by Ozy_Flame

CrazyCaper, DEFINITELY play Lotto Max tonight. Get 5 tickets and cross your fingers. I'm almost certain you'd cheer up and feel better about the whole situation with $50 million in your pocket!

But if you win..... don't cash in your ticket until AFTER the divorce is finalized!!!

[pylon]

Originally Posted by VladtheImpaler

A bit paranoid, but that's why I suggested he PM me instead of posting a name.

Fair enough, but after what I saw a friend of mine go through with a vindictive ex wife / nasty divorce I would still be careful. She actually was sending women to the pub he used to go out for the odd day after work to trap him into cheating. Even when he proved this was the case through phone records, he still got cleaned out by the court system and she now has a fully furnished, 2400 sq foot home with a clear title .

[bossy22]

I paid less than $5k for my lawyer, but I interviewed 5 lawyers before I picked mine. We had gone through mediation before, and had agreed upon our assets. I then found a lawyer who was willing to just get the rest of the process completed without going after more, which was surprisingly tough. The usual response was, "it's in your best interest if we go over her banking and taxes, etc." When I said, "I don't care, we've come to an agreement, which I feel is fair", most of the lawyers said I'm probably getting screwed. I just said, I know I am, and I accept that. They all seemed to have an agenda to get try to get more money, which means a battle, which in turn can get ugly, and more expensive. I wanted it done, for me and the kids.
My lawyer let me do it my way. She had a more expensive retainer, but in the end, saved me a lot more.

[pylon]

Originally Posted by T@T

You don't need to log on to read this forum.

I think he means she doesn't know his handle on here. However, your situation is pretty unique, as there are some pretty specific details to identify your situation, without knowing your handle.

[Tron_fdc]

Dude, talk to a lawyer. It will be the best thing you do.

My ex was all cool with everything, up until the point her friends started talking to her about what she "deserved", and BANG. All of a sudden I'm threatened with losing half of everything, even though she was working, we had no kids, and had a house with a depreciating value on it. What her friends thought she deserved was about 5 times what she actually got.

Like I said, women are strange when it comes to this. They will deal PURELY on emotion, while guys look a little more objectively at the situation.