Bullying in schools, what can be done?

[troutman]

Disabled boy bullied on bus:

http://cnews.canoe.ca/CNEWS/Canada/2.../13909846.html


A five-year-old Saskatchewan boy who has been the target of bullies has been told he can't ride the bus anymore, his father says.

Robert Coomber says an older student gave his son Ryan a black eye during the bus ride home on May 4.

When he went to the school, he said the principal laughed it off and said his son was likely lying.

[photon]

Originally Posted by mikey_the_redneck

Where did I say the school system should support the offenders? I was making a sarcastic comment. Should I use green text for you next time?

Putting "frankly" in front of a comment usually would lead one to believe that you mean the comment frankly, not sarcastically.

Should we ask how many others thought "Frankly, if your kid is completely unable to deal with adversity then they should be home schooled...." was sarcastic and how many thought you were serious? Sounds like backpedaling...

Originally Posted by mikey_the_redneck

It is much easier to train kids to deal with bullying properly than try to eliminate bullying.

It is? It's easier to train hundreds of kids from every background and every temperament than it is to deal with one bully? Sure.

How about do both?

Originally Posted by mikey_the_redneck

Bullying will NEVER be 100% absent from the school system.

Of course not, just like there will always be violent crime. But neither should be tolerated either.

Originally Posted by mikey_the_redneck

But you are right photon, we should just shield children from everything so we end up with a nation of wusses....

Yup, because otherwise they'll be decimated by the tigers that roam the offices and the streets. Gotta toughen them up, Principal Skinner, RELEASE THE HOUNDS!

There's this concept called age appropriateness.

Originally Posted by mikey_the_redneck

The school system is just like the legal system in some ways. The teachers hands are tied.... We must put the onus on the kids to deal with it the best they can.......or in extreme cases you may have to bring the cops in.

"I know you are only 7 year old but the teachers aren't going to help so hopefully you figure this out before you commit suicide, or hopefully I figure out how bad things really are and call the cops before something serious happens."

[Traditional_Ale]

Originally Posted by troutman

Disabled boy bullied on bus:

http://cnews.canoe.ca/CNEWS/Canada/2.../13909846.html


A five-year-old Saskatchewan boy who has been the target of bullies has been told he can't ride the bus anymore, his father says.

Robert Coomber says an older student gave his son Ryan a black eye during the bus ride home on May 4.

When he went to the school, he said the principal laughed it off and said his son was likely lying.

This passage really hit home:

He said Ryan doesn't understand why he can't take the bus anymore, but also seems to accept he will be bullied.

"He just sees it as,'This is my life, this is what I get to look forward to the rest of my life,'" Coomber said, adding he will continue to speak out until something is done. "I'm not stopping. I refuse to quit."

[Sly]

Originally Posted by HeartsOfFire

Maybe in your experience, Sly. But don't kid yourself, there is a schoolyard pecking order, and there will be kids that will get picked on, provoked and not.

In terms of pecking order, I was the kid that was embarassingly inept in gym class but did exceptionally well academically, was in chess club, and was socially awkward. I never had that outgoing vibe. I was shy, reserved, and preferred solitude over a group of good friends. I was easy pickings for alpha males.

I'm just saying that there sometimes is more to the story than the "bully picks on harmless skinny kid".

[Antithesis]

Schools are in a difficult place when it comes to bullying ... first schools don't really have much power to enforce things right now. Suspend a kid for bullying another one? Sure, but then you're playing the odds that you're not just giving the kid a quick vacation, and that their parents actually care enough to help with the discipline. After school detentions are almost non-existent; lunch hour ones can be quite difficult as well. Expelling kids (this is actually a type of suspension) doesn't happen a lot ... according to the School Act, every kid in Alberta has to be going to school somewhere (illegal not to) so when you 'expel' a kid, he or she gets sent somewhere else. This can be a really political game, fair or not. If you're sending one of these kids to a school, at some point, they are going to expect you to take one of theirs back. What if that kid is a drug dealer? Brings weapons to school? Violent? What if you're better off with the bully?

And what is the place for a school in dealing with cyber-bullying? It (mostly) doesn't happen at school ... so the school can only really do something about the issue if it carries over to school.

OP, I'm a teacher, and I'll tell my son and daughter to deal with bullying the same way your kid did. If they got suspended for knocking some moron out after trying to deal with it in non-violent ways first, it'd be ice cream for dinner for a week. I'm sure that the Principal and staff of the school may feel the same way, but the thing is, it becomes a slippery slope (which I know no one wants to hear) when you suspend one kid for fighting, but not another kid because he'd been bullied.

[redforever]

Originally Posted by Sly

I'm just saying that there sometimes is more to the story than the "bully picks on harmless skinny kid".

Usually not. The problem of the bully has to be addressed. Excuses should not be made for the bully or their actions.

[Buzzard]

Originally Posted by Sly

I'm just saying that there sometimes is more to the story than the "bully picks on harmless skinny kid".

Get real dude.

That's like saying sometimes there's more to the story about "man rapes woman".

I would venture a guess to say that 99 times out of a 100, a bullied kid is innocent.

[Antithesis]

Originally Posted by redforever

Usually not. The problem of the bully has to be addressed. Excuses should not be made for the bully or their actions.

Could not agree more. I have absolutely no sympathy for bullies. There is no excuse for their behavior.

[Buzzard]

nm double post

[Sly]

Originally Posted by Buzzard

Get real dude.

That's like saying sometimes there's more to the story about "man rapes woman".

I would venture a guess to say that 99 times out of a 100, a bullied kid is innocent.

Comparing a bullying to raping is a good comparison.

Don't get so up tight, I'm just inputting from my junior/high school experience.

[Antithesis]

I mean this honestly, not snarky, because I'm curious: in your experience Sly, what would someone who had been bullied done to deserve it? Perhaps we're using different definitions here.

[V]

Originally Posted by fotze

Or what you would do if your kid was the bully.

When I was in Grade 9 my friends and I bullied my brother and his friends that were in Grade 7. I'm not proud of it. It only lasted a week, though, because my brother told my Dad after a week, and I got the whooping of my life. And grounded for what seemed like an eternity. It was unpleasant as hell. And it didn't take long for me to grow up and learn what a d-bag I had been.

Active parenting plays a monstrous role in the prevention of bullying. Unfortunately it seems as though parents are letting their kids down on both sides of the equation.

[Traditional_Ale]

Originally Posted by Antithesis

I mean this honestly, not snarky, because I'm curious: in your experience Sly, what would someone who had been bullied done to deserve it? Perhaps we're using different definitions here.

As an adult we can easily see there is no excuse.

As a child, though, say the person being bullied was obviously a disfuctional loner who's only way to communicate was to lash out, even just verbally. Randomly insulting someone, their mom, etc etc etc, would seem pathetic and contemptable as adults, but to a child it is an instant in to make sure the kid gets his comeuppance, even though they may already be in so much psychological trouble they really don't deserve it.

Can't really ask a kid to make this connection, though.

Its a s***ty situation.

[Boblobla]

Originally Posted by Antithesis

I mean this honestly, not snarky, because I'm curious: in your experience Sly, what would someone who had been bullied done to deserve it? Perhaps we're using different definitions here.

I am curious as well. I got bullied because I was nerdy and sensitive so they would get the emotional reaction they were looking for.

[IliketoPuck]

As an aside, I remember having a big party a year or so after graduating HS, and a lot of people from my school turned up, as well as some friends from other parts of my life. Wouldn't you know it, my ex-bully nemesis showed up, and tried to pull his clown act at my kegger. Well he got thrown out on his ear by myself and a few of my friends. God that was satisfying...and who says sticking up for yourself is a bad thing.

[Yeah_Baby]

Originally Posted by Boblobla

I am curious as well. I got bullied because I was nerdy and sensitive so they would get the emotional reaction they were looking for.

This

[Antithesis]

Originally Posted by Traditional_Ale

As an adult we can easily see there is no excuse.

As a child, though, say the person being bullied was obviously a disfuctional loner who's only way to communicate was to lash out, even just verbally. Randomly insulting someone, their mom, etc etc etc, would seem pathetic and contemptable as adults, but to a child it is an instant in to make sure the kid gets his comeuppance, even though they may already be in so much psychological trouble they really don't deserve it.

Can't really ask a kid to make this connection, though.

Its a s***ty situation.

Yes, it is, but in my opinion, the person you are mentioning in terms of lashing out by insulting others is the bully, not the bullied.

[Buzzard]

Originally Posted by Sly

Comparing a bullying to raping is a good comparison.

Don't get so up tight, I'm just inputting from my junior/high school experience.

What's so wrong about the comparison?

Both are extremely damaging mentally, and sometimes physically, not to mention the potential to scar for life.

I think the comparison is quite reasonable.

[Sly]

Originally Posted by Antithesis

I mean this honestly, not snarky, because I'm curious: in your experience Sly, what would someone who had been bullied done to deserve it? Perhaps we're using different definitions here.

No one deserves to be bullied, but the person who I watched get bullied, I had no sympathy for nor I wanted to help him.

Originally Posted by Buzzard

What's so wrong about the comparison?

Both are extremely damaging mentally, and sometimes physically, not to mention the potential to scar for life.

I think the comparison is quite reasonable.

So you think being bullied as a child is on the same level to being molested as a child? OK....................

[Regulator75]

Probably already posted in this thread, but here it is again.



Source: The Onion