Highly doubtful. If they all get together without inviting you, then you can get paranoid. Priorities change as you get older ... it happens to most people and it's totally normal.
I realize there's a common belief that the wife becomes a ball and chain and doesn't let you do anything, but the far more likely scenario is that sometimes people just like hanging out with their wife. I don't want to sound like a Streisand or anything, but after a long day of work, 90% of the time I just want to go home and watch a movie with the wife and go to bed.
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I tend to avoid going out with the guys as much as I used to because of the financial consequences. I'm allowed to go play a round of golf or go to the bar, so long as my wife knows where I am. But the unwritten rule is the financial retribution that she can get on me. If I spend $100 golfing...she'll spend $150 on something she didn't need that will just take up more room in our place that I'll have to move some day. So now I see that round of golf with drinks costing me $250....and it's just not worth it. When your'e a poor person who's retirement is doomed like me. You shouldn't ever buy anything or enjoy anything in life. You should just work like a slave and try to save every last dollar you can.
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I'm the first out of my group of friends to get engaged and to live with said woman. I used to party it up big time in my first few years of Uni, but have toned down since then as a result of being in a LT relationship, and generally just not feeling like going out to the bar, getting loser drunk and hitting on girls who are not attracted in the slightest to a guy who gets so hammered he leans against a pole all night.
To be honest, it used to be fun when single to go out and play the field, but I just don't care anymore since I've got a great chick at home. I've taken alot of flak from my single friends who can't quite seem to grasp why I don't want to go out and play beer pong and flip cup every weekend.
The hypocrisy of it is excellent too. I have a buddy who actually straight up called me on hanging out with my girl too much, and said I needed to get some time to just chill with the guys. I was totally fine with that, and accepted what he was saying. Same friend got into a LT relationship, and now we are lucky to see him once every month.
Pot meet Kettle.
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Pylon on the Edmonton Oilers:
"I am actually more excited for the Oilers game tomorrow than the Flames game. I am praying for multiple jersey tosses. The Oilers are my new favourite team for all the wrong reasons. I hate them so much I love them."
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Exp:
Your priorities change with time. They have to. My family hangs out with a few other families with kids the same age. I like to have a BBQ, hang out in the backyard having a beer with the guys while the kids entertain us.
What's almost just as bad as the guy who won't come out because he's in a relationship, is the guy who shows up to every event with his girlfriend. Now I can understand the couple thing works in some situations, but when you're playing poker with the boys (and the girlfriend just sit there looking bored, and the the guy rushes things just cause he doesn't want his girlfriend to be bored) or golfing (and the girl comes along to drive the cart) I'd rather you not show up then bring your girlfriend along. I nearly lost it one time, when one of my buddies girlfriends answered her phone right in the middle of one of my putts.
Ya.....about that one. Baptist Pedogogue approved?
__________________
Pylon on the Edmonton Oilers:
"I am actually more excited for the Oilers game tomorrow than the Flames game. I am praying for multiple jersey tosses. The Oilers are my new favourite team for all the wrong reasons. I hate them so much I love them."
Location: In my office, at the Ministry of Awesome!
Exp:
Quote:
Originally Posted by malcolmk14
Maybe I'm just a jerk and people don't like hanging out with me?
Come on now, why are you being so hard on yourself?
Having trouble getting old friends to hang out with you can happen for any number of reasons, most of which have nothing to do with you being a jerk, which I'm sure you're not. Maybe you're just ugly or you smell bad.
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To be quite honest this situation sounds a little bit different. You actually had a vacation booked, but this guy was too much of a flake to book the time off.
People like this exist. Despite whatever inconvenience they cause to you, they always end up being a bigger burden to themselves in the end.
We've got a guy here that commits to pretty much everything, and just never shows. He'll even call partway through the night, telling us that he's on his way, and doesn't show. People like that I'll never understand.
I like to take the opposite approach. I'll tell you I'm probably not going to make it, and then depending on how my night's shaping up, I'll decide whether I want to go out or not.
I've often thought as I get older I should probably be looking at getting married sometime soon.. I want the first time I impregnate a girl to be met with tears of joy, not gut wrenching fear/sadness.
I wish the laws of relativity didn't apply to my life.
__________________ "In brightest day, in blackest night / No evil shall escape my sight / Let those who worship evil's might / Beware my power, Green Lantern's light!"
I've often thought as I get older I should probably be looking at getting married sometime soon.. I want the first time I impregnate a girl to be met with tears of joy, not gut wrenching fear/sadness.
Then you probably don't want to do this:
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Its part of the reason I'm moving back to Iceland, people don't all of a sudden shut down their social lives there when they have kids.
There's always get togethers, people travel way more there and its just a whole different vibe. Most of my friends get together a decent bit, but its definitely nothing like it can be, especially vacationing together more.
Its part of the reason I'm moving back to Iceland, people don't all of a sudden shut down their social lives there when they have kids.
There's always get togethers, people travel way more there and its just a whole different vibe. Most of my friends get together a decent bit, but its definitely nothing like it can be, especially vacationing together more.
Yeah, it's definitly brutal here in Calgary. Here, it seems when people get married and have kids, they're done. Like completely done going out or doing anything. And if they do by some miracle come out with the wife, then they just kind of sit there quietly, and get uncomfortable when guys joke about anything, then they go home the second they get "the nudge" or "the look".
I think one issue is that our culture doesn't seem to accept bringing kids everywhere with you. And some single people don't seem to deal with it well. But I just bring my kid everywhere anyways.
Our social groups seem to be very fractured by ages and stages of life and as people transfer from one to the other friends get broken up. I think it is part of the binge drinking / Drinking is bad message so going out drinking with a baby is somehow considered bad parenting.
I tend to avoid going out with the guys as much as I used to because of the financial consequences. I'm allowed to go play a round of golf or go to the bar, so long as my wife knows where I am. But the unwritten rule is the financial retribution that she can get on me. If I spend $100 golfing...she'll spend $150 on something she didn't need that will just take up more room in our place that I'll have to move some day. So now I see that round of golf with drinks costing me $250....and it's just not worth it. When your'e a poor person who's retirement is doomed like me. You shouldn't ever buy anything or enjoy anything in life. You should just work like a slave and try to save every last dollar you can.
I go out and jam by myself quite a bit, as most of my best friends are kind of boring that way. They like the same few pubs and video games and football and thats awesome, but I like to go to loads of places and if nobody wants to come it doesn't bother me that much. I usually end up running into enough people I know to have a great time, and if not then at least I get to play tunes (read: have an excuse to drink).
Since one member of the group had a family I haven't seen him once. Facebook, emails, phone, and randomly once by Chinook Mall, but he has a son and a daughter now and a good life for himself and I haven't checked it out once. Weird hey?
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