Ever almost won a Darwin award?

[IliketoPuck]

I have a contribution, but it involves someone else almost getting the award.

Each summer I go up to a lake in Northern Sasky and party pretty hard for august long. This story happened a few years ago.

The setup on the lake is pretty sweet, there is a bar about a 5 minute boat ride straight across the lake from my cabin, so drinking and driving a car is not necessary , you can just take the boat instead. The general format for a night of partying is to get loaded up all day and then take an easy pleasure cruise accross the lake to the bar, park on the beach and then shut down the bar. The night ends, and its a straight shot accross the lake to the cabin, even though it is pitch black, I always felt comfortable with it because I've grown up on the lake and know it really well.

So this night we were partying pretty good with some friends, and one of them had an exchange student from denmark staying with her for the summer. We get hammered and rip off to the bar and have a great time. The night ends and we all pile into the boat and head on back to our side of the lake. The water was glass, and the moon was bright so I could see clearly all the way to the other side. I was pretty done, but felt ok driving the boat becasue the lake was deserted at ~3 in the morning. So I revd it up and soon we were going about 40mph across the lake. I wasn't really paying alot of attention, just kind of pointed the boat in the right direction and was talking and laughing with the people in the back of the boat. We get about halfway home, middle of the lake, and one of the girls in the front starts screaming something at me. I can't hear her so I cut the engine.

Apparently the Dutch girl had jumped off the front of the boat about a minute earlier, and the only one to notice had been the girl in the front. The girl thought it would be a great idea to go for a little swim.......Needless to say everyone started panicking. Drunk, middle of the lake, middle of the night, and holy crap my life might be over because I just killed a girl by running her over with the boat and not knowing it. So we turn the boat around and start going back towards the bar, yelling and hoping to god the girl is alive. She could have gotten run over, she could have knocked herself out hitting the water that fast and drowned...she wasn't wearing a life jacket. It was not a good situation to say the least. Eventually we found her, laughing and treading water.

I had never been so mad at someone in my life. I lost it on her, just lost it. And to cap it all off, when we turned the boat off to get her back in, the alternator died, and we had to paddle the boat back to the bar for an hour.

Ended up getting home as the sun came up. I will never drink and drive a boat again.

[afc wimbledon]

I have to know, did you still try to shag her?

[IliketoPuck]

God no. Everyone in the boat was so pissed at her she was bawling all the paddle home. Just thinking about that story still gets me hot under the collar.

[jydk]

nm

[afc wimbledon]

Originally Posted by IliketoPuck

God no. Everyone in the boat was so pissed at her she was bawling all the paddle home. Just thinking about that story still gets me hot under the collar.

Drunk, crying and on holiday, thats almost as effective as a ruffi'! your a principled man ILTP.

[IliketoPuck]

Haha yes. In retrospect it was just as much my fault for taking a bunch of drunk people home from the bar, drunk myself, and going fast in a boat in the middle of the night. I'm thankful nothing bad happened to her, but at the time...I didn't give a fata what she thought about her trip to Canada.

[V]

God no. Everyone in the boat was so pissed at her she was bawling all the paddle home. Just thinking about that story still gets me hot under the collar.

So let me get this straight. You were drunk and doing something stupid. She was drunk and did something stupid. What's to get so angry about?

[Bring_Back_Shantz]

Originally Posted by afc wimbledon

Now this is a bad start to your commute.....


And does leave me wondering why the morons in the other car's first thought was to film the poor sod rather than getting in front of the semi and slowing it down.

Big Ups to FrankMetamucil for helping me to work out how to embed.

Honestly, if I saw that, the last thing going through my mind would be to get in front of the semi to slow it down, when that obviously that didn't work for the first car.

[IliketoPuck]

Originally Posted by V

So let me get this straight. You were drunk and doing something stupid. She was drunk and did something stupid. What's to get so angry about?

I think you answered your own question. Alcohol isn't the best way to make rational decisions.

[V]

But like you said, you're still angry about it when you think of it.

I just find it odd, that's all.

[IliketoPuck]

I'm angry about it still not because of her actions. In retrospect what did I think was going to happen with a boat load of drunk people?

I'm angry because if something had happened to her, then there goes the rest of my life. Angry at myself and the situation, not those that were involved.

[Hack&Lube]

I tried to impress a girl also in elementary school. I was in grade 3 or something and climbed onto the roof and jumped off. Only messed up my ankle.

[jayswin]

Originally Posted by IliketoPuck

I have a contribution, but it involves someone else almost getting the award.

Each summer I go up to a lake in Northern Sasky and party pretty hard for august long. This story happened a few years ago.

The setup on the lake is pretty sweet, there is a bar about a 5 minute boat ride straight across the lake from my cabin, so drinking and driving a car is not necessary , you can just take the boat instead. The general format for a night of partying is to get loaded up all day and then take an easy pleasure cruise accross the lake to the bar, park on the beach and then shut down the bar. The night ends, and its a straight shot accross the lake to the cabin, even though it is pitch black, I always felt comfortable with it because I've grown up on the lake and know it really well.

So this night we were partying pretty good with some friends, and one of them had an exchange student from denmark staying with her for the summer. We get hammered and rip off to the bar and have a great time. The night ends and we all pile into the boat and head on back to our side of the lake. The water was glass, and the moon was bright so I could see clearly all the way to the other side. I was pretty done, but felt ok driving the boat becasue the lake was deserted at ~3 in the morning. So I revd it up and soon we were going about 40mph across the lake. I wasn't really paying alot of attention, just kind of pointed the boat in the right direction and was talking and laughing with the people in the back of the boat. We get about halfway home, middle of the lake, and one of the girls in the front starts screaming something at me. I can't hear her so I cut the engine.

Apparently the Dutch girl had jumped off the front of the boat about a minute earlier, and the only one to notice had been the girl in the front. The girl thought it would be a great idea to go for a little swim.......Needless to say everyone started panicking. Drunk, middle of the lake, middle of the night, and holy crap my life might be over because I just killed a girl by running her over with the boat and not knowing it. So we turn the boat around and start going back towards the bar, yelling and hoping to god the girl is alive. She could have gotten run over, she could have knocked herself out hitting the water that fast and drowned...she wasn't wearing a life jacket. It was not a good situation to say the least. Eventually we found her, laughing and treading water.

I have never been so mad at someone in my life. I lost it on her, just lost it. And to cap it all off, when we turned the boat off to get her back in, the alternator died, and we had to paddle the boat back to the bar for an hour.

Ended up getting home as the sun came up. I will never drink and drive a boat again.

Originally Posted by V

So let me get this straight. You were drunk and doing something stupid. She was drunk and did something stupid. What's to get so angry about?

Originally Posted by IliketoPuck

I'm angry about it still not because of her actions. In retrospect what did I think was going to happen with a boat load of drunk people?

I'm angry because if something had happened to her, then there goes the rest of my life. Angry at myself and the situation, not those that were involved.

[CaptainCrunch]

I'm still not getting it


Your pissed, she's crying and you didn't try to get an apology/angry hammer job on with her.

Whats up with that?

[IliketoPuck]

Maybe she was from lichtenstein. I think it was Dutch, could have been Danish, she was European for sure

Guess I should edit that part to say "I had never been so mad.." a little past tense vs. present tense maybe.

[IliketoPuck]

Originally Posted by CaptainCrunch

I'm still not getting it


Your pissed, she's crying and you didn't try to get an apology/angry hammer job on with her.

Whats up with that?

She wasn't Elin Woods...to put it nicely.

[dissentowner]

Originally Posted by IliketoPuck

She wasn't Elin Woods...to put it nicely.

But she did have a mouth right?

[IliketoPuck]

[CaptainCrunch]

Originally Posted by IliketoPuck

She wasn't Elin Woods...to put it nicely.

but you were drunk so it doesn't matter.

Pride falls before the hangover.

[BloodFetish]

We used to have a POS Ford Tempo that developed a stalling problem. The car stalled in the left-turn lane at a red light with my wife driving and her friend in the passenger seat. I can't remember what their initial reason was, but they got out to push the car through the intersection and around the left turn.

What they didn't consider is that turning left at that intersection was downhill, and if you've ever been in New Westminster, BC you'll know it is severly downhill! Well the car starting taking off on them. Full credit to my wife for realizing their Darwin-moment in time and barely managing to get in the drivers door before the car became an unguided missile with my name on the registration papers!


Another car related story was the day after I got married. We were heading to the airport to return our rental car (a Chrysler 300) and at the same time get on a flight to London to meet up with our Cruise ship for our honeymoon. Up in the distance traffic is stopped at a light, but the curb lane is free of cars, so I figure I'll get in the curb lane, time the light, and get in front of all the stopped traffic. So I do.

The light turns green, and I hit the intersection at about 60 kmh. As I go through the crosswalk I see a flash of..something...in my periphal vision on my left. I look in the rearview mirror, and here's this old East Indian lady, still in the crosswalk and pinwheeling her arms for all she's worth. Then I see her regain her balance, pike at the waist and look around the car in the second lane to see if someone else has decided to pull my stunt and smoke her.