Dealing with traumatic events

[shane_c]

For the second time in less than a year I was almost in a serious car accident. This time was too close for comfort. To make a long story short we were behind another car with someone else oncoming. Another car pulled out from a side road and the oncoming car swerved and was t-boned by the guy in front of me at about 70. I came within a foot or so of rear ending him. We grabbed our phone, called 911, and checked on the first car. His legs were busted up and lots of smoke coming from the car. Ran up and checked on the lady who was t-boned and thought she was dead. She wasn't moving and blood was pouring out of her head. Thankfully the RCMP, EMS and Fire were on scene very quickly.
Turns out the guy had a broken leg and needed surgery. The woman is still in serious condition over a week later and they’re not sure what’s going to happen.
So it’s been over a week and it’s still all I can think about. I feel very nervous driving especially as we drive by the crash scene everyday and I can see my tire marks on the pavement where I had locked up my brakes. I don’t feel safe in my car since it’s the 2nd time in less than a year this has happened to us and I don’t have ABS or side impact airbags. I really didn’t sleep much the first night because unfortunately I had to see her face just before she got t-boned and couldn’t get the image of fear on her face out of my head. I’m sleeping now but it’s been very interrupted and full of dreams, not about the crash, but they last about ½ hr and then I wake up. I looked them up in a dream analyzer and it says what keep dreaming about represents a place where I feel comfortable.
For those who have experienced traumatic events how long is it normal to keep thinking about it? How can I stop thinking about it?

[Pinner]

Well talking about it helps, and remember, all wounds heal with time.

[CaptainCrunch]

Maybe go see your doctor and asked about a referral to a crisis or trauma counceller, its great to be able to talk about it, but sometimes you need more help coming from the other side.

[REDVAN]

Definately go get some psychological help... don't try to do it alone right now.

Talk with your family about it and be open with your feelings. Who was in the car with you? Make sure they are getting help as well, and if you are interested, go together. Be accomodating to them as well, although it can be tough.

And don't drive if it bothers you so much. Seriously. Have a friend or family member do it for you, either drive you where you need to go, or to pick stuff up if you are too worried about being in a car. Don't avoid it forever, but if it bothers you, then take a week off driving.

Time will help heal you, and take your time. Nothing worse than rushing back into anything.

[VladtheImpaler]

I find that for a lot of my clients the PTSD is often greatly alleviated by a settlement cheque... BTW, for general reference, you are entitled to sue in a situation as described above, despite not being directly involved in the accident yourself.
You can actually get the PTSD counselling for free - just go through your GP, as mentioned above.

[FlamingStuffedTiger]

Drugs.

I am by no means a pharmacist, but I believe there are a variety of medications that will temporarily suppress your immediate issue of disturbed sleep so you can get some rest if you need it. Don't worry. Your GP will likely call this option to you attention when you meet. Just know that most sleep meds (that I know of at least) are dangerous if misused or used incorrectly. This in combination with therapy should get you back on your feet.

[ken0042]

It takes a big man to admit he needs help. So be a man about it- seek help. CC and Redvan both have good suggestions.

Yes, life happens. But there's no shame in getting some help in dealing with life either.

[CaptainCrunch]

Trust me, I suffered through a couple of pretty traumatic events that almost destroyed me, I decided stupidly after each one that I was a man and god damned it I could handle this on my own. But honestly, the doubt never stops, the nightmares get worse over time they don't fade away.

I eventually went to get professional help, because unlike talking about, they can acutally help you draw out every detail of the event, link it to any guilt or fear or developed phobia that is sitting there and help you move past them.

[speede5]

Talk about it, don't bottle things up. Counsellers are a great way to air your concerns. Try not to overthink it, you didn't cause it, couldn't have stopped it, and life was fine before and should be after. Luckily you don't have physical injuries and the rest will pass with time.

When I have gone through these type of things it takes a few weeks to push it out of your head but slowly life takes over. If it has affected you this deeply there will most likely be triggers that bring back the day, but hopefully won't drag your mindset down. There is a burning smell that always brings me back to a plane crash I witnessed. I'm a Christian and I lean on my faith as well.

[Raekwon]

Originally Posted by VladtheImpaler

I find that for a lot of my clients the PTSD is often greatly alleviated by a settlement cheque... BTW, for general reference, you are entitled to sue in a situation as described above, despite not being directly involved in the accident yourself.
You can actually get the PTSD counselling for free - just go through your GP, as mentioned above.

Yeah isn't this a Vlad special? Consider a lawyer and they can help direct you to get the proper medical and mental treatments needed along with proper reinbursement. I know that doesn't help with the immediate issues but its solid advice.

[peter12]

Read good books. Seriously, after going through several major incidents in the past 3 years, I recommend a metaphysical prescription.

I can recommend Herzog by Saul Bellow.

[burning_acid1]

I definitely wouldn't drive for the next little bit, especially near the crash site

[Table 5]

Originally Posted by VladtheImpaler

I find that for a lot of my clients the PTSD is often greatly alleviated by a settlement cheque... BTW, for general reference, you are entitled to sue in a situation as described above, despite not being directly involved in the accident yourself.

Come on man, please don't turn Canada into the sue-happy, blame everyone for everything no matter what, country we have done here.

I was in a car accident involving a taxi cab a few years ago (cabbie ran a redlight and we t-boned the dude going about 60)....sometimes it's still hard to get into a cab, but it does get easier with time. Every time I turn my neck though, I'm reminded of that guy.

[VladtheImpaler]

Originally Posted by Table 5

Come on man, please don't turn Canada into the sue-happy, blame everyone for everything no matter what, country we have done here.

I was in a car accident involving a taxi cab a few years ago (cabbie ran a redlight and we t-boned the dude going about 60)....sometimes it's still hard to get into a cab, but it does get easier with time. Every time I turn my neck though, I'm reminded of that guy.

What are you talking about? The guy has some serious issues, which are someone else's fault. Just informing him of his rights. It's his choice to ignore the information. It's not like I posted "PM me - I can make you some cash".... He can PM Troutman.

[Hemi-Cuda]

am i the only one that read the first bit of the OP, then had to scroll down and read the end to make sure this wasn't another one of those Fresh Prince stories?

[Table 5]

Originally Posted by VladtheImpaler

What are you talking about? The guy has some serious issues, which are someone else's fault. Just informing him of his rights. It's his choice to ignore the information. It's not like I posted "PM me - I can make you some cash".... He can PM Troutman.

I dunno, you seem to be suggesting that the way to get over trauma is to sue somebody else. If a cash settlement is what makes somebody get over trauma, chances are, that person really wasnt that traumatized to begin with.

There's a time and a place for it of course, but it seems like a pretty slippery slope into sue-happy culture...but then again, maybe I'm sensitive as the only thing I see on subways and tv these days is slimy litigation advertising.

[VladtheImpaler]

Originally Posted by Table 5

I dunno, you seem to be suggesting that the way to get over trauma is to sue somebody else. If a cash settlement is what makes somebody get over trauma, chances are, that person really wasnt that traumatized to begin with.

There's a time and a place for it of course, but it seems like a pretty slippery slope into sue-happy culture...but then again, maybe I'm sensitive as the only thing I see on subways and tv these days is slimy litigation advertising.

Oh yes - love those American PI lawyer ads. We are not allowed to advertise here, so there is nothing to offend your eyes. No, I said the way to get over the trauma is to go see his GP and get counselling referral, but he is also entitled to compensation, if he is so inclined. The first part of my post was just a little joke as indicated by the "".

[jayswin]

Originally Posted by VladtheImpaler

I find that for a lot of my clients the PTSD is often greatly alleviated by a settlement cheque... BTW, for general reference, you are entitled to sue in a situation as described above, despite not being directly involved in the accident yourself.
You can actually get the PTSD counselling for free - just go through your GP, as mentioned above.

Ugghh, my stomach churned reading that sentence. C'mon.

[VladtheImpaler]

Originally Posted by flameswin

Ugghh, my stomach churned reading that sentence. C'mon.

Get a life and a sense of humour. What, you've never heard the stories of people magically removing their neck braces after their claim settles? Just playing on that. You people are weird - people are fine with jokes about somebody fataing your mother, but Jebus forbid somebody jokes about a personal injury claim...

[Table 5]

Originally Posted by VladtheImpaler

You people are weird - people are fine with jokes about somebody fataing your mother, but Jebus forbid somebody jokes about a personal injury claim...

Fyi, I'm also generally ok with pedophilia and 911 jokes.