Being shot down because of my skin colour

[browna]

Originally posted by Clarkey@Sep 7 2005, 05:16 PM
Stop being a drama queen. Everyone has their types. You are not hers.

Here here.

You've already wasted too much time on her by typing out your posts.

She wants no part of you. Who cares for what reason, you're not going to magicallly change her mind with one word, or with a book fulled with logic and reason. Her mind is made up. Welcome to the world of women and relationships.

You seem to be looking for a magical explaination from her or admission of guilt/wrongdoing...well, neither of which are coming.

Move along.

[Incinerator]

I think the problem with interracial relationships most often have nothing to do with the skin colour but the culture. For example a Caucasian guy might not be able to date an East Indian girl because he cannot stand curry, not because he's racist since he probably has no problem making friends with anyone, East Indians or otherwise.

[calf]

Originally posted by browna+Sep 7 2005, 05:46 PM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (browna @ Sep 7 2005, 05:46 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> <!--QuoteBegin-Clarkey@Sep 7 2005, 05:16 PM
Stop being a drama queen. Everyone has their types. You are not hers.

Here here.

You've already wasted too much time on her by typing out your posts.

She wants no part of you. Who cares for what reason, you're not going to magicallly change her mind with one word, or with a book fulled with logic and reason. Her mind is made up. Welcome to the world of women and relationships.

You seem to be looking for a magical explaination from her or admission of guilt/wrongdoing...well, neither of which are coming.

Move along. [/b][/quote]
I'm in this camp as well. Time to move on to greener pastures...it's not worth your time. It's not like you can file a human rights complaint against her or anything...or can you?

[InTheSlot]

It's her own choice to associate with only Arabs like herself if she wants, but that basically is being racist, even if she claims it to be her own personal preference.


Sorry for your luck, but if she's saying things like that, then she's not worth it. You'll find better.

[Winsor_Pilates]

I think this is racism. I agree that we all have our preferences but this girl doesn't even want to mingle with non arabs. I say that's racism. If you're gonna live in a diverse country such as Canada, you should be able to atleast mingle with people without screening them for their race.

And what I think is an important distinction in the whole preference game is whether:
a) You are not usually attracted to someone of a certain race(Can't help it)
or
b) You are attracted to them, yet still use race as an excuse to not date them.

In your story, I would say it was more of B, which I think is racist.

[Winsor_Pilates]

Originally posted by fotze+Sep 7 2005, 05:59 PM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (fotze @ Sep 7 2005, 05:59 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> <!--QuoteBegin-Winsor_Pilates@Sep 7 2005, 06:37 PM
I think this is racism. I agree that we all have our preferences but this girl doesn't even want to mingle with non arabs. I say that's racism. If you're gonna live in a diverse country such as Canada, you should be able to atleast mingle with people without screening them for their race.

And what I think is an important distinction in the whole preference game is whether:
a) You are not usually attracted to someone of a certain race(Can't help it)
or
b) You are attracted to them, yet still use race as an excuse to not date them.

In your story, I would say it was more of B, which I think is racist.

And if I remember correctly you are an indian feller? It seems more poignant coming from you if that is the case.

I actually feel there is a form of relatively harmless racism that exists, which will hopefullybe eliminated in a ouple generations when we are all the same colour.

Has anyone else thought like me that the eventual colour of people will be the same much like an integral as you approach infinity? [/b][/quote]
You are correct. Dots, not feathers.
And I agree, that there are different degrees of racism. Some far less harmful and some with good intentions.
While I don't think the girl in this example is very harmful, I still think it's stupid and leads to growing/maintaining racial segregation which can end up very harmful.

What colour will we all be?

[Thunderball]

Its unfortunate... but to be honest, I wouldn't date an Arabic girl for that same reason... its a pretty well known fact that most of their families (not all) are very xenophobic and don't want non-Arabic men dating their women... I also primarily find white girls attractive, and half combos. I mean, if Mrs. Right happened to be Arabic from a tolerant family, I'd go for it.

[Tower]

Dude I'd love to help but I only talk to Polish/hispanic/mongolian mixed people......

[Devils'Advocate]

I dunno. I'm white, but two of my last three GFs were black. Well, I guess they still are... I don't know the right tense to use there. Anyhow, you'd be surprised how many looks you get for that *STILL*. It's been 30 years since "The Jeffersons" - get with it folks. So this is still out there.

But I've had similar situations.... I was helping out with a video production about living Muslim in Canada. I was doing it for the fun of it... video production is a hobby of mine. One of the girls I met was chatting with me, we made some light conversation, things got almost flirtatious and then she asked if I was Muslim. I said, no, I'm athiest. *silence* "Oh, I should be getting home now. Nice to meet you." *gone*

But you have to wonder how much it is the children and how much it is the parents. I know many Muslim parents that will only allow their daughter to date other Muslims.

[Trujew]

There are 3 billion other women on the planet. Get over it.

[JiriHrdina]

Originally posted by Winsor_Pilates@Sep 7 2005, 06:37 PM
I think this is racism. I agree that we all have our preferences but this girl doesn't even want to mingle with non arabs. I say that's racism. If you're gonna live in a diverse country such as Canada, you should be able to atleast mingle with people without screening them for their race.

I make the assumption that "mingle" is still in the romantic sense. The entire context of the situation involved some sort of romantic relationship so i assume this is the case. Therefore in my opinion it is part of the attraction (or lack thereof) and therefore not racism.

I also think the stor analogy someone brought up is a poor one.

As a person you have a right to shop wherever you want and every store has to have their doors open to you. You also have the right to date whoever you want, but that does not mean that all girls MUST date you.

Ultimately its her choice.

[Shawnski]

Originally posted by Winsor_Pilates+Sep 7 2005, 07:22 PM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (Winsor_Pilates @ Sep 7 2005, 07:22 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> <!--QuoteBegin-fotze@Sep 7 2005, 05:59 PM

And if I remember correctly you are an indian feller?

You are correct. Dots, not feathers. [/b][/quote]
LMAO! THAT caught me completely off guard.

Short, sweet, and to the point!!

[jam26]

I thought you were here with your fiance?

[Winsor_Pilates]

How can some of you say you are only attracted to people from one race?? I honestly can't understand that. Maybe I'm just a complete horndog (most likely), but I see girls of all races that I find quite attractive (physically speaking). I think people give into stereotypes way too easily as well, automatically assuming someone of a certain ethnicity will behave in certain norms and values. I don't think its always the case, and I think in a country like Canada, people have adapted hybrids of different customs because of the integration of races over the years. As well, most minorities have grown up here, with the same cultural influences as every other person here.

[RougeUnderoos]

Originally posted by JiriHrdina+Sep 7 2005, 09:34 PM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (JiriHrdina @ Sep 7 2005, 09:34 PM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> <!--QuoteBegin-Winsor_Pilates@Sep 7 2005, 06:37 PM
I think this is racism. I agree that we all have our preferences but this girl doesn't even want to mingle with non arabs. I say that's racism. If you're gonna live in a diverse country such as Canada, you should be able to atleast mingle with people without screening them for their race.

I make the assumption that "mingle" is still in the romantic sense. The entire context of the situation involved some sort of romantic relationship so i assume this is the case. Therefore in my opinion it is part of the attraction (or lack thereof) and therefore not racism.

I also think the stor analogy someone brought up is a poor one.

As a person you have a right to shop wherever you want and every store has to have their doors open to you. You also have the right to date whoever you want, but that does not mean that all girls MUST date you.

Ultimately its her choice. [/b][/quote]
I really respect you, Jiri, as a CP poster, but you are way off with this comment.

If I want to date a woman, it is my choice, not hers. If she so-called "chooses" to not date me, to ignore my phone calls, to get a restraining order, have me beaten up by her older brother, to have her phone number de-listed, then she is in the wrong, not me.

And for all you whiny PC types out there, you can eff off right now. It's got nothing to do with race, because she is a he. Or at least was.

[HelloHockeyFans]

Her, not wanting to get into a relationship with you because of your race, is by definition, racism.

The question is, is it really that rare of an occurance?

I'm Chinese, my girlfriend is half-Danish (Father's side) and half-Chinese (Mother's side). Our relationship hasn't encountered any problems because of race, but previous relationships I've had with 100% white girls have.

I've sat at a dinner table with ex-girlfriends' families while their bigot father plays off racist comments as jokes - "Sorry Kevin, we don't have chopsticks here!"

On the other hand, I've also had dinner with other girlfriends' families and had long discussions with them about Chinese culture and tradition -- why we do some of the things we do.

Speaking from experience, I think white people face even greater obstacles when we speak of racism when they are dating a person of colour. My parents were always accepting of other races, but other Chinese parents are in general very racist when it comes down to their children dating non-Asians.

The reality is that racism will never cease to exist. Call me a pessimist, but hundreds of years from now, the problems with interracial dating will still be around.

Choosing to not date someone because of their race is most definitely racist. The decision your friend made was based on preference. But let's not forget that it was a decision made with a racist viewpoint.

[HelloHockeyFans]

Originally posted by Agamemnon@Sep 7 2005, 10:53 PM
I wouldn't be surprised if there were TONS of white guys (many of my friends included... maybe myself), who might not overtly say "I only date white chicks', but at the same time, they 'feel' that they are only attracted to caucasians. Is this racism? Is it racist when you harbour no ill-will towards any other races, but prefer to stick with your own 'kind' in romantic circles?

I think so.

When you make a decision based on a person's race, that is, by definition, racism.

At least, that's how I feel.

[DJRice]

Originally posted by Winsor_Pilates@Sep 7 2005, 05:37 PM
I think this is racism. I agree that we all have our preferences but this girl doesn't even want to mingle with non arabs. I say that's racism. If you're gonna live in a diverse country such as Canada, you should be able to atleast mingle with people without screening them for their race.

And what I think is an important distinction in the whole preference game is whether:
a) You are not usually attracted to someone of a certain race(Can't help it)
or
b) You are attracted to them, yet still use race as an excuse to not date them.

In your story, I would say it was more of B, which I think is racist.

exactly, agreed!

and same with the intheslots reply - its her choice that she chooses not to associate with non arab people in her life. Being just friends with someone, does not mean you will end up taking them home to meet mom and dad. And if so, then so what. :angry:

[DJRice]

Originally posted by Thunderball@Sep 7 2005, 06:51 PM
Its unfortunate... but to be honest, I wouldn't date an Arabic girl for that same reason... its a pretty well known fact that most of their families (not all) are very xenophobic and don't want non-Arabic men dating their women...

Ya, Ive come to notice this as well, dont know whats up with that.

[JiriHrdina]

Originally posted by DJRice+Sep 8 2005, 12:02 AM--></div><table border='0' align='center' width='95%' cellpadding='3' cellspacing='1'><tr><td>QUOTE (DJRice @ Sep 8 2005, 12:02 AM)</td></tr><tr><td id='QUOTE'> <!--QuoteBegin-Winsor_Pilates@Sep 7 2005, 05:37 PM
I think this is racism. I agree that we all have our preferences but this girl doesn't even want to mingle with non arabs. I say that's racism. If you're gonna live in a diverse country such as Canada, you should be able to atleast mingle with people without screening them for their race.

And what I think is an important distinction in the whole preference game is whether:
a) You are not usually attracted to someone of a certain race(Can't help it)
or
b) You are attracted to them, yet still use race as an excuse to not date them.

In your story, I would say it was more of B, which I think is racist.

exactly, agreed!

and same with the intheslots reply - its her choice that she chooses not to associate with non arab people in her life. Being just friends with someone, does not mean you will end up taking them home to meet mom and dad. And if so, then so what. :angry: [/b][/quote]
Fine. But are we talking about you being friends with this person. It seems to me that this possible relationshp was more romantic in nature. That changes things.