So, I'm the father of the bride

[Nage Waza]

My weding was about 55,000 and my parents gave 25,000 and her parents gave about 3,000. A few other people spent about 10,000 on other parts of the wedding. This was not cheap, but there are many ways to spend less. Our flower bill was over 5,000.

[HalifaxDrunk]

Originally Posted by Maritime Q-Scout

I haven't paid for a wedding, and am not going to be any time in the near future.

I've met MQS, he is telling the truth...

When I was married my parents paid for the photographer, videographer and table wine and my wife's parents paid for the meal. We paid for the rest.

[Bertuzzied]

Originally Posted by TheyCallMeBruce

If it was an asian wedding. 100% paid for by friends and family. Many of my friends actually made money from their weddings lol.

So awesome, i wish i could get married every year. We made over $5k from our wedding. Don't really like being the center of attention though.

[JohnnyB]

I'm expecting to basically foot the bill for my entire upcoming wedding myself. Annoying, but hopefully the cash gifts from guests will make up for it, as it's China and cash gifts will be expected. A record will be kept of who gave what.

[yads]

Depends on the approach you want to take. My parents and in-laws gave us money for the wedding. In-laws gave more and we budgeted and planned the wedding, with some input from them.

[You Need a Thneed]

My wedding was about $5000 all included. If the weather had co-operated, we could have saved nearly half of that, which was the cost of renting a large party tent.

This was for about 240 guests.

[troutman]

You should ask for a Bride Price.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bride_price

Bride price, also known as bride wealth, is an amount of money or property or wealth paid by the groom or his family to the parents of a woman upon the marriage of their daughter to the groom. (Compare dowry, which is paid to the groom, or used by the bride to help establish the new household, and dower, which is property settled on the bride herself by the groom at the time of marriage.) In the anthropological literature, bride price has often been explained in market terms, as payment made in exchange for the bride's family's loss of her labor and fertility within her kin group. The agreed bride price is generally intended to reflect the perceived value of the girl or young woman.

[Table 5]

Originally Posted by PYroMaNiaC

Friends of mine offered cash to their daughter for either a big, splashy wedding or a substantial down payment for a home with a small, informal wedding. Their daughter chose the splashy wedding out at the Banff Springs Hotel and although I don't know the exact figures, I could make a pretty good guess at about $50 000.

Now there's a bride who has her priorities straight!

[SeeGeeWhy]

Its seriously a function of venue and number of guests.

If you're out in the country on an acreage that is owned by one of the attendees and have the local church ladies catering your event and/or a guest potluck you can get away with a really inexpensive but great event.

If you're doing it at a high demand facility and really feel the need to invite your 5th cousins and their children you're going to pay out of your arse.

I think a lot of it comes down to how much you, as the parents, want this to be a showy event. Lets just say that I think there is a strong relationship between the amount of money a parent gifts to the wedding, and how much "input" said parents have.

You gotta ask yourself... how satisfied was your wife with her wedding??

[Peanut]

Originally Posted by DOK

Dress $300 - $1,500 depending where you go.

I just have to point out that $1,500 for a dress is definitely NOT the upper limit of the price range.

Originally Posted by SeeGeeWhy

I think a lot of it comes down to how much you, as the parents, want this to be a showy event. Lets just say that I think there is a strong relationship between the amount of money a parent gifts to the wedding, and how much "input" said parents have.

Haha... quoted this for truth.

[CGYTransplant]

It depends on a lot of variables- time of year (winter weddings are the least expensive, as long as you're not in the last half of November or any of December, because of Christmas parties....Summer weddings are the most expensive because EVERYONE gets married in the summer), location (the Palliser is going to be more expensive than a community hall), the flowers, the attire, the transportation, cash bar vs. toonie bar vs open bar...it goes on and on.

As for tradition in splitting up costs...originally, the groom's family pays for the rehersal dinner. The Bride's family pays for everything else.

Now, it's much more common for the couple and both sets of parents to get together and decide how things are going to be split- some groups end up splitting everything down the middle, some split it in thirds, etc. By far the easiest option is to decide how much you are willing to contribute, and just give a cheque to the bride and groom to spend on what they deem appropriate.

You can have nice weddings for 10K, but it depends on if you want "all the trimmings"....when I got married, I didn't want anyone in my family to be "working"- so none of my relatives decorated or took stuff down, we hired out the cake and all the food and all the flowers- and I also didn't want to end up looking back in a year or whatever and going "Oh, I wish we had THAT!".

So, with getting everything we wanted, and getting married in the summer, our wedding probably cost about $65,000 to $70,000. We will be paying for it FOREVER....but it was totally worth it.

[MacDaddy77]

Cost is relative!

Our wedding cost around $15,000. My Wife's parents paid for the wedding day and mine paid for the rehersal dinner and the events leading up to the wedding.

My biggest suggestion to give your daughter and future husband is to shop around for a photographer. (i know Neeper is the official cp photographer) just make sure that whoever they choose will give them a CD of all the photos of their wedding.

My wife and I were the first in our group to get married and we hired a professional photographer who holds the copyrights to our wedding photos. If we want more, or different photos of our wedding we have to pay him extra and it take a month to order them.

[Mr_Hockey]

Originally Posted by TheyCallMeBruce

If it was an asian wedding. 100% paid for by friends and family. Many of my friends actually made money from their weddings lol.

I know what you mean. Everybody I talk to say they made 5K-25K profit from their weddings.

My last east Indian friends who got married last year said their wedding cost around 45K-60K. YIKES

That's supposedly the norm as well.

[Table 5]

Originally Posted by MacDaddy77

My wife and I were the first in our group to get married and we hired a professional photographer who holds the copyrights to our wedding photos. If we want more, or different photos of our wedding we have to pay him extra and it take a month to order them.

The copyright portion is pretty standard among photographers, at least the more professional ones. It's something you can negotiate about ahead of time though, and for less money than if you tried to do it afterwards.

If someone on a budget is looking for more affordable photographers, I would suggest trying to contact the photo department at ACAD. There are some very talented people there....often much more than a lot of the cheesy wedding photographers you see around who charge way more than their talents dictate. They might not be as smooth and trouble-free as the pros (that tends to only come with experience), but I'm sure the will be a lot less cheaper.

[Rerun]

My wife and I paid for everything ourselves..... but then we have good jobs and could afford it.... plus we were older.

Frankly, I think there should be an age and time limit to when a parent no longer has the responsibility to pay for their child's wedding.... and why in the world should the parent have that responsibility anyway?

If the child has left the parental home a number of years ago and they have a good job.... I say they should foot the costs themselves. This isn't 1800's anymore where the daughter goes straight from the parental home into her husband-to-be's home and she doesn't earn a living either.

[CMPunk]

Originally Posted by Rerun

My wife and I paid for everything ourselves..... but then we have good jobs and could afford it.... plus we were older.

Frankly, I think there should be an age and time limit to when a parent no longer has the responsibility to pay for their child's wedding.... and why in the world should the parent have that responsibility anyway?

If the child has left the parental home a number of years ago and they have a good job.... I say they should foot the costs themselves. This isn't 1800's anymore where the daughter goes straight from the parental home into her husband-to-be's home and she doesn't earn a living either.

Ahh the good ole days....

[Sliver]

Congratulations to you and your daughter, MoneyGuy!

Personally, I won't be giving my daughter one single penny when she gets married. I think this whole "princess-for-a-day" business is malarky propogated by the wedding industry and now ingrained into our society. I see so many people spend way more than they can afford on weddings to the point where it becomes borderline ######ed.

For my girl, I will give her a gift as well as some cash to put toward her mortgage after her wedding, but I won't be participating financially in what I see as one of the biggest money-spending mistakes young adults make.

I eloped, loved it, paid for everything myself and wouldn't have done it any other way.

If you are a young person and you are free of student loans, mortgage free, car-debt free and have a nice nest egg already (i.e. you've been given a boat load of money at some point) then have a big wedding and enjoy. If, on the other hand, you have not ticked all of those boxes then the extravagance of a wedding that you can't afford is, IMO, stupid.

[MoneyGuy]

I haven't yet thanked all those who have provided great advice, but thanks to all for some valuable comments.

Originally Posted by SeeGeeWhy

You gotta ask yourself... how satisfied was your wife with her wedding??

Wedding = 9/10.
Wedding night = 12/10.

Originally Posted by Maritime Q-Scout

I haven't paid for a wedding, and am not going to be any time in the near future.

Best tip I can suggest is get a good emcee for the reception.

That said, I'm willing to do it for free. I just ask for airfare, hotel, meals and alcohol supplied along with two ticket to either the Flames or Stampeders depending on the time of year.

Seriously, free emcee! Right there, expense taken care of!

Actually, I'm about the best wedding MC around. My little girl says I can't do this one, however. I'm also a photographer but can't do that either. I think she is saving me for something more important.

Originally Posted by Peanut

My parents (bride's parents) gave us $10,000. His parents gave us $5,000. They both contributed what they felt comfortable with.

The parental money covered 50-60% of the costs. We paid for the rest ourselves.

And congrats, by the way!!

Thanks, and I don't know how some of you got away so inexpensively. Good job. What my DD and her beau have in mind will cost way more than that.

Originally Posted by dre

Our wedding cost $4500. Alcohol was paid by my parents $1500, and my wife's
parents gave us $1500. It was a great party.

Again, good job, and congrats on being frugal. This one will be more costly.

Originally Posted by CMPunk

Mine was great and cost under 7 grand. The folks contributed a $1000. They also paid for our hotel for the night before the wedding and the wedding night

Same comment applies.

The missus and I have only talked about this in general terms, but I figure our contribution will be in the range of $10-15K. The other side has more limited means. My plan (we'll see if the wife agrees) is that we say this x amount is available. Spend it as you please but the rest will have to come from the other side or from you. Whatever isn't spent can go to a honeymoon or those PhDs they expect to be working on. Once they decide what they want to do, I may comment but otherwise will stay out of it. I doubt my wife will be able to do that. What's the saying? The mother of the bride should wear beige and shut up. The bride's mom gets to have input.

The young folks have definite ideas as to what they want. I suggested a destination wedding but they will have nothing of it. They have tonnes of friends, but thankfully many of them are the same.

Can anyone offer an opinion as to my idea of a financial contribution is good enough for someone who can afford it (and more)?

Other ideas are appreciated. Thanks to all.

[Table 5]

Originally Posted by MoneyGuy

Actually, I'm about the best wedding MC around. My little girl says I can't do this one, however. I'm also a photographer but can't do that either. I think she is saving me for something more important.

edit: nm, bad joke on my part

[Sliver]

Originally Posted by Table 5

Her wedding night?