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Old 10-30-2009, 01:42 PM   #1
CrusaderPi
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Default CrusaderPi's enemy list. Entry #1 Tim Hortons

Nixon had an enemies list. Now so do I

Enemy #1 Tim Hortons

Everyone seems to love Tim Hortons, and I use to walk among you. But I've changed. Oh, have I changed. I think it has taken years for my journey with Hortons to get to this point; I fought a losing battle against respect for Canada's preeminent fast food retailer. There are four distinct reason Tim Hortons is the first entry on my enemy list.

-Punctuation. Am I to believe the chain was founded by two separate men named Tim Horton? Or are they simply honoring all the people name Tim Horton who came before the founder and those who will come after? I remember a time when they properly called themselves Tim Horton's. Why did they get rid of the apostrophe? It doesn't matter why (it's because of the Quebecois, for those who are wondering) it only matters that Tim Hortons is willfully killing the English language. PS: I am fully aware of the irony of my bad English criticizing someone else for their bad English.

-Always Frozen. Remember when Tim Horton's made their donuts in store? You know, back when they tasted good? I can taste the difference frozen makes. I notice the icing falling off in chunks. Everything tastes slightly stale now and I refuse to delude myself into enjoying a frozen, stale donut. It doesn't taste good. I've also noticed a significant drop off in the quality of their sandwiches. I don't know what they are doing different, but the chicken salad sandwich does not taste the same anymore. It use to taste 'good' now, it does not.

-Lines. I understand they are busy and breakfast and lunch, but there is no reason I should have to stand in line for twenty minutes behind 6 people to get a dozen reheated donuts. Then if you order something from their sandwich counter you have to move over 15 feet and wait there. Forget that. I'm not a sheep. It is not my obligation to suffer through your poorly conceived system. Oh, but at least they now have nice TVs running a 15 second loop of commercials. Watching the same bowl of soup being slowly poured 50 times sure makes the minutes fly by.

-Commercials. I hate them. They all suck. If Tim Hortons' (notice the apostrophe) goal was to flip the throat punching switch in my brain... mission accomplished. If they're trying to make me want suffer in line ups for their stale crappy food they'll have to try hard. Some ###### talking with a British accent for FRENCH onion soup? A dancing donut and coffee cup? Please. They're all equally offensive to me as a consumer.

In conclusion, screw you Tim Hortons. I don't need you, and by the way you've treated me I can tell you don't need my money.

Last edited by CrusaderPi; 10-30-2009 at 01:49 PM.
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Old 10-30-2009, 01:46 PM   #2
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My suggestion (for coffee, at least):



The best thing. ever. sorry i didn't have a witty response.
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Old 10-30-2009, 01:49 PM   #3
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Tim Hortons is spelled that way because of Quebec language laws. At least, that's what Wikipedia says. And everybody knows that everything on Wikipedia is correct.

And yeah, I hate the parcooked donuts. I haven't had a glazed donut from them in years as a result.
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Old 10-30-2009, 01:56 PM   #4
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I still drink their coffee, but rarely touch their food.

I really enjoyed their lemon filled powdered donuts, but they stopped making them.

They used to make a peanut butter chocolate chunk cookie that was amazing. Now their "gourmet" cookies are disgusting.
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Old 10-30-2009, 01:56 PM   #5
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I'm sick of Timmy's too, actually. The only good thing they serve is coffee, and every location around me is GOD AWFUL for speed. If they could all take a page from the Timmy's in Mt Royal they would be much better. Fastest tim's ever.
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Old 10-30-2009, 01:57 PM   #6
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I don't eat their doughnuts often, but I do wonder whether anyone could tell the difference if the change had never been publicized. I seem to recall that the change was made with no publicity initially and it wasn't until the media got a hold of it that anyone cared. I don't know...at the end of the day their doughnuts. No nutritional value and really no big deal to me I guess.

All in all though, Tims is awesome.
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Old 10-30-2009, 01:57 PM   #7
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The steeped tea is awesome. That's about all I ever get there.
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Old 10-30-2009, 02:01 PM   #8
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I am a sucker for their breakfast sandwiches. soooo sooo good, but i avoid the donuts like the plague.
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Old 10-30-2009, 02:01 PM   #9
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Can you make Bell #2 on your list? and #3 the Apple Store?

I despise both places.
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Old 10-30-2009, 02:03 PM   #10
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The bread in their sandwiches always tastes just slightly too doughy or underbaked.
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Old 10-30-2009, 02:03 PM   #11
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I hate that they got rid of their fountain iced tea. That was insanely awesome.

I also agree with the huge drop off in quality. It sucks, but there is not much competition in Airdrie with better coffee.

...and why the hell did they get rid of their specialty items??? Booooo
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Old 10-30-2009, 02:03 PM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jayems View Post
My suggestion (for coffee, at least):



The best thing. ever. sorry i didn't have a witty response.
A friend of mine bought one of those cup brewers and wow are they awesome. I don't drink coffee but he says it tastes just like you went to Starbucks. I tried the green tea and it blows my home made green tea out of the water. And the hot chocolate is to die for.

I want one bad.
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Old 10-30-2009, 02:05 PM   #13
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#2 should be kids that don't dress up and still go trick or treating.

After tomorrow night I am sure there will be at least one thread about the subject.
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Old 10-30-2009, 02:07 PM   #14
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Ohhh, can #2 be the Oilers?!

That'd be a rant I would look forward to!
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Old 10-30-2009, 02:11 PM   #15
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I actually like the precooked donuts - correction I like being able to get cherry cake donuts at almost every location.

Lineups are lineups.

My biggest pet peeve with them is their iced caps machines only work when its <15C out.
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Old 10-30-2009, 02:14 PM   #16
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Love me some Tim Hortons. Course, not having the option of going to one helps. The thing I hanker for most is the chilli for some reason.
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Old 10-30-2009, 02:15 PM   #17
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I almost always get overcharged at Tim Horton's (except when I make a fuss and point it out). Can Canada's largest Coffee chain put in a till system that automatically calculates combo prices already? Seriously, the cashier can't always remember to press the "Sandwich combo" button...

And while we're at it "Screw You Mayo"
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Old 10-30-2009, 02:19 PM   #18
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Their bread cuts the roof of my mouth. That is all.
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Old 10-30-2009, 02:19 PM   #19
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I dont mind Tims.....but not first thing in the morning. Why should I have to wake up 15 mins earlier so I can get a coffee......7-11 or home brew works just fine for my morning coffee fix.

I'm still convinced they put crack in their coffee.....why on earth would someone wait 15 mins for one is beyond me.
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Old 10-30-2009, 02:30 PM   #20
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It's not so much coffee as it is a cup of sugary cream with a bit of burnt sludge added in. At least if you order a double double it isn't.
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