Would you marry someone of a different religion? Race? Hockey Team Preference? - Page 4 - Calgarypuck Forums - The Unofficial Calgary Flames Fan Community

You Need a Thneed · 10-21-2009, 11:32 PM

For me:

Religion is quite important to me, so yes, we'd have to be the same religion.

Race is not an issue, though my wife comes from the same background as I do - makes everything so much easier to explain.

Hockey Team preference: My wife and her family are Oilers fans.

Calgaryborn · 10-21-2009, 11:47 PM

Same religion and sect. The rest doesn't matter.

Mad Mel · 10-21-2009, 11:51 PM

Religion is just one kind of value that we have to have some compatibility with. Although I'm religiously ambivalent, I can live with a moderate, non-imposing religious partner more easily than a preachy, tree-hugging, granola munching NDP'er.

I'd like to think that I'm a mature enough person that I won't judge a person's character based on what team they cheer for. Choice of hockey team is pretty low on the listing of important values.

My partner was born and raised in Canada, same as me, we're pretty typical products of Canadian culture. I can't understand what the difference would be if her ancestry were British instead of Chinese. Her skin tone would be slightly different? If you won't marry someone who checks all your boxes except that one, I'd say that you've got some issues. I totally understand being attracted or not attracted to 'types', that's one thing, but to have an fundamental objection based on race would be another.

flip · 10-21-2009, 11:51 PM

I think the real question is, would anyone marry me in the first place?

ResAlien · 10-22-2009, 12:04 AM

Religion and race I don't care about too much. But a Canucks or Oiler fan? GTFO.

T@T · 10-22-2009, 12:17 AM

A) NO!! if she truly believes in such rubbish she's stupid and other than sex we couldn't hold a conversation.

b) Yes

c) Yes, why not, we could have fun little "bets"

T@T · 10-22-2009, 12:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Calgaryborn

Same religion and sect. The rest doesn't matter.

Of course

Sorry man but I can't take you seriously, you chime in threads about religion and don't back a damn thing up when put to the test...your like the guys who show up at my house in suits.

Redliner · 10-22-2009, 12:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by T@T

Of course

Sorry man but I can't take you seriously, you chime in threads about religion and don't back a damn thing up when put to the test...your like the guys who show up at my house in suits.

That's cool. The thread is about sharing views and opinions, so great idea to blast someone for sharing them.

Seriously. First rate.

flip · 10-22-2009, 12:40 AM

Wait, did I miss something or is T@T offended or mad or something just because Redliner appears to be of the conviction that he wants to marry a fellow Mormon/Jew/Muslim/Catholic/whatever?

NBC · 10-22-2009, 02:50 AM

I had a friend that fell for this girl who was 25 years old, from Holland of Moroccan descent, a Muslim and a virgin. It was like he was dating an 11-year old. She had no clue regarding how to conduct herself in a relationship, had really strange ideas on things and in general was amazingly difficult to co-exist with. Needless to say the relationship didn't last for that long, but unfortunately the emotional/psychological scars associated with dating her still remain.

I think "nightmare" underplays the nature of their association.

JohnnyB · 10-22-2009, 03:01 AM

I'm a first-generation Canadian of Scottish descent, and am married to a Shanghainese girl who has never left China. Religion is not an issue between us, as we both seem to be agnostic. Race is also not a problem between us. Why would skin colour be an issue?

The thing that must be kept in mind is that race and culture are not tied together. For me, marrying a Canadian girl of an Asian race would be much easier in terms of making a fit between lives and families than marrying a Chinese girl of any race. There is a big difference in cultures. I've seen many, many relationships not even be able to get off the ground because of immediately running into cultural differences which make people incompatible.

The differences do create difficulties for us, though at the same time we are very compatible. I think the bigger difficulties arise from differences between families, friends and other associations, which put the two of us in the middle. I think a much more difficult question than 'Would you marry someone of another race?' for most Canadians is 'Would you marry someone of another culture?'

JohnnyB · 10-22-2009, 03:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NBC

She had no clue regarding how to conduct herself in a relationship, had really strange ideas on things and in general was amazingly difficult to co-exist with.

I've heard that from many Westerners about many Chinese girls. Expectations on relationships can be wildly different.

NBC · 10-22-2009, 03:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JohnnyB

I've heard that from many Westerners about many Chinese girls. Expectations on relationships can be wildly different.

I've heard that as well. Yet another friend married a first-generation Chinese-Canadian girl. She's really nice and sweet, but he did tell me there were definitely some growing pains. I think the biggest thing with the few guys I know isn't so much the fact that the girls are of a different race or religion, etc, but they have zero relationship experience. So when you get involved, things you may take for granted, you cannot.

NBC · 10-22-2009, 03:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Redliner

My dad is all Flames, but he tolerates her greasy mullet-loving tendencies up to a point. She brought an Oilers bath towel home once and the next day it was out in the garage being used as a shop rag while my dad did an oil change on his truck. Damn truck never did run properly again.

Now THAT'S funny!

T@T · 10-22-2009, 03:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Redliner

That's cool. The thread is about sharing views and opinions, so great idea to blast someone for sharing them.

Seriously. First rate.

Sometimes threads have a preview...but thanks for the driveby

Calgaryborn · 10-22-2009, 07:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by T@T

Of course

Sorry man but I can't take you seriously, you chime in threads about religion and don't back a damn thing up when put to the test...your like the guys who show up at my house in suits.

How am I suppose to back up a personal opinion?

Sorry but I don't know of any published scientific study with peer reviews on my personal priorities in a mate. Maybe you should think a little before you post.

Byrns · 10-22-2009, 08:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JohnnyB

I'm a first-generation Canadian of Scottish descent, and am married to a Shanghainese girl who has never left China. Religion is not an issue between us, as we both seem to be agnostic. Race is also not a problem between us. Why would skin colour be an issue?

The thing that must be kept in mind is that race and culture are not tied together. For me, marrying a Canadian girl of an Asian race would be much easier in terms of making a fit between lives and families than marrying a Chinese girl of any race. There is a big difference in cultures. I've seen many, many relationships not even be able to get off the ground because of immediately running into cultural differences which make people incompatible.

The differences do create difficulties for us, though at the same time we are very compatible. I think the bigger difficulties arise from differences between families, friends and other associations, which put the two of us in the middle. I think a much more difficult question than 'Would you marry someone of another race?' for most Canadians is 'Would you marry someone of another culture?'

I married a Chinese immigrant, and I agree there have been some challenges. However, the benefit of her parents not speaking English (and me not speaking Chinese) help balance things out, and keep in-law conflicts low.

GreenLantern · 10-22-2009, 08:17 AM

I don't think I would marry someone that was hard core religious.. when they start peddling their crap on me I feel like I am being pressured by a drug dealer.

I also couldn't marry a Canucks fan, maybe an Oilers fan, until they become good again and she can gloat back. Then I would have to divorce her.

Ford Prefect · 10-22-2009, 08:33 AM

Caveat: I'm happily married for over 20 years so my answers are purely hypothetical.

Religion ... must be non-religious. If she's overly pious, regardless of religion, that would be a deal breaker.

Race ... wouldn't matter, although I'm generally not physically attracted to other races. Physical attraction isn't the be all and end all, but it's usually what gets the ball rolling, so I guess the odds of getting into a relationship with someone of a different race are lower. The exception to this is East Indian women. They can be stunningly beautiful.

Hockey Team ... that would totally depend on whether she was an obnoxious fan of the Canucks or Coilers. If so, I wouldn't marry her because we'd never get past the first date.

Ozy_Flame · 10-22-2009, 08:40 AM

I was actually hoping I would marry (IF I marry) someone who has Buddhist leanings, or spiritual philosophy. Not sure why, but I've always been interested in other Buddhists (I dabbled in it myself), as they seem to have one of the least hostile and rigid views on the world, but still remain guided by spiritual principles, which I think is important.

I'm a Canadian-born Roman Catholic, but have since dropped any religious affiliations and couldn't care less about Christianity, Catholicism and anything to do with the "big three" religions.