Would you marry someone of a different religion? Race? Hockey Team Preference?

[Displaced Flames fan]

Originally Posted by jammies

"Pretty sure"? Not to pry, but do the two of you never discuss religion, then?



.

Not a lot really. I should clarify, I think she has a little more faith that there might be something bigger out there than I do. She doesn't want to join a church or anything and her brother has become an evangelical which she thinks is ridiculous. She knows how I feel about it all and we know each other's 'religious history'. Other than these things, we haven't spent much of our time together discussing it.

[jammies]

Originally Posted by enthused

However, I also realize that I probably wont ever have to worry about this because I am sure that anyone who is overly religious would never want to be with me in the first place!

Yah I rather think this as well, but I can also see being powerfully attracted to someone that is completely wrong for me. There's always that compulsion to do things that you know are not a good idea precisely because they aren't good ideas; that's why I was wondering if there were examples of people that had made religiously incompatible marriages work - outside of those who make them work by having one partner just give in.

Originally Posted by GirlySports

Why is yellow fever a tag? :P

To see who was paying attention. You are the winner!

[flip]

Originally Posted by GirlySports

Yeah I agree. Why marry someone who looks down on you because or race/religion or whatever.

Who said it has anything to do with looking down on them? The irony of Tyler's ignorance is clearly lost on him.


I have a Jewish friend who insists on marrying another Jew.

Apparently you guys think she is a terrible person.

[Peanut]

I would go maybe on the religion thing. I'm sort of "meh" about religion either way, so as long as the person wasn't too hardcore about whatever their religious choice, it probably wouldn't bug me.

Race, not an issue.

Hockey team preference, well... that one might be a deal-breaker.

Oh, I should clarify that it's hypothetical for me. I'm already married to an atheist, white, Flames fan.

[GirlySports]

Originally Posted by flip

Who said it has anything to do with looking down on them? The irony of Tyler's ignorance is clearly lost on him.


I have a Jewish friend who insists on marrying another Jew.

Apparently you guys think she is a terrible person.

She's not a terrible person but if the guy isn't Jewish, why would he want to marry her if she thinks that way? She wouldn't treat him fairly.

Originally Posted by jammies

Yah I rather think this as well, but I can also see being powerfully attracted to someone that is completely wrong for me. There's always that compulsion to do things that you know are not a good idea precisely because they aren't good ideas; that's why I was wondering if there were examples of people that had made religiously incompatible marriages work - outside of those who make them work by having one partner just give in.

Hmm I don't think you could be powerfully attracted to someone completely wrong for you. You would be conned. It's wrong to make another person just give in.

[Displaced Flames fan]

Originally Posted by GirlySports

I'd be disowned.

I could probably live with that though, although it would be sadder.

If I were 10 years younger, unmarried, lived in Calgary and had anything whatsoever to offer you this post would be my cue.

[flip]

Originally Posted by GirlySports

She's not a terrible person but if the guy isn't Jewish, why would he want to marry her if she thinks that way? She wouldn't treat him fairly.

Treat him fairly? What, like all Jews treat non-Jews as inferior?

I highly doubt that.

The point is that she likely wouldn't seriously date someone who isn't of her religion. The fact that you somehow linked a desire to marry someone with an identical religious belief with discriminating against people of other religions is beyond me.

To me it is no different than my desire to marry a fellow Italian, only my conviction is probably not as deep.

[enthused]

Originally Posted by GirlySports

Yeah I agree. Why marry someone who looks down on you because or race/religion or whatever.

But that's just the point. Most people who look down on each other's religion wouldn't marry eachother in the first place.

For people who take their religion very seriously, chances are they would never marry someone of a completely different religion because their beliefs are likely to be very different.

I say that I could never marry a very religious person, but that certainly doesn't mean that I look down on anyone who is religious. I simply mean that I don't think we'd be very compatible, because we'd obviously have very different beliefs and ideas.

[GirlySports]

Originally Posted by flip

Treat him fairly? What, like all Jews treat non-Jews as inferior?

I highly doubt that.

The point is that she likely wouldn't seriously date someone who isn't of her religion. The fact that you somehow linked a desire to marry someone with an identical religious belief with discriminating against people of other religions is beyond me.

To me it is no different than my desire to marry a fellow Italian, only my conviction is probably not as deep.

Your conviction may not be as deep is the key point here. You're a nice person.

But in some cases it is more serious. Jews could view non-jews as inferior or vice versa. My family, I'm sad to say, has some serious prejudices and judgements. My argument being beyond your feelings or understanding means you're a reasonable person

[jeremywilhelm]

I'm pretty sure if I found out a girl was a Canucks fan, that would be a huge red flag for me. I mean, what level of mental unstability must you have in your genetics to be a fan of the Canucks. I wouldn't want my kids to be subjected to that.

Everything else is fine....

And I mean EVERYTHING!

[jammies]

Originally Posted by GirlySports

Hmm I don't think you could be powerfully attracted to someone completely wrong for you.

I think the divorce statistics back me up on this one. For that matter, my best friend married (and later divorced) a total biatch despite the two of them having nothing in common; and to be fair she thought he was a completely different person than he really was just as he thought she was something vastly other than what she truly was.

"To deceive others, first we must deceive ourselves."

[Ashartus]

Religion - depends how different. I think it would be hard to marry someone who didn't have a generally similar world view and concept of morality.

Race - not an issue at all to me.

Hockey team - I'd constantly mock her team; if she'd still marry me then I suppose (luckily my wife cheers for the Flames).

[GirlySports]

Originally Posted by jammies

I think the divorce statistics back me up on this one. For that matter, my best friend married (and later divorced) a total biatch despite the two of them having nothing in common; and to be fair she thought he was a completely different person than he really was just as he thought she was something vastly other than what she truly was.

"To deceive others, first we must deceive ourselves."

I'm very realistic and analytical to a fault. I don't live in fantasyland where I fall blindly in love with a guy even though he's handsome and a jerk. I look for many things that have to be compatible. I come off very snobbish that way.

[flip]

Originally Posted by GirlySports

Your conviction may not be as deep is the key point here. You're a nice person.

But in some cases it is more serious. Jews could view non-jews as inferior or vice versa. My family, I'm sad to say, has some serious prejudices and judgements. My argument being beyond your feelings or understanding means you're a reasonable person

Sure. My initial response was to Tyler's idiotic post. Just because you wouldn't marry someone based on religion doesn't mean that you aren't right in the head.

Obviously SOME people wouldn't marry because they aren't right in the head but that doesn't mean all people are.

Personally I could care less what a person's religion is, however I would prefer if they were atheist like me because it would just be easier. I hate having fights about religion with a loved one (be it family or g/f).


I do empathize with your situation. My only real point here is that it doesn't have to be because of prejudice that someone won't marry a certain religion.

[EDBTZ12]

I'm from a Lebanese backround and I don't think i would marry a girl from a different religion...race maybe. You never know though sometimes love strikes and there is nothing you can do.

Most middle eastern people are brought up to marry your own kind. I would be thinking of my potential children first of all and how i would want them to be raised.

[Joborule]

I'm a fairly open person and could marry anyone despite their religion, race, and hockey team preference even if they were a Nucks or Oiler fan. The religion part though they can't be overly extreme and push the relgion on to me to make me convert or whatever. They have to respect that I'm not much into religion just like I would respect their belief in there relgion if my partner is part of one.

[GirlySports]

Yeah there's nothing worse than listening to two people fight over religion because they're entrenched in their beliefs. Tears families and friendships apart.

[Sly]

Dark skinned = nty. I have ton of buddies that are dark skinned but I would never marry a dark skinned woman.

[jammies]

Originally Posted by GirlySports

I'm very realistic and analytical to a fault. I don't live in fantasyland where I fall blindly in love with a guy even though he's handsome and a jerk. I look for many things that have to be compatible. I come off very snobbish that way.

Yes, but that's you. Few people are that in control of their emotions, and I'm certainly not.

I think the majority of people are more in line with "that compulsion to do things that you know are not a good idea precisely because they aren't good ideas". It's not so much being conned, as weighting the short-term as being far more important than the long-term; people aren't dumb so much as insufficiently far-sighted.

[Sainters7]

Yes on all counts, as long as on the religion front, they're not expecting me to convert and become actively involved in the religion.

As a raised Catholic, I've seen alot of the positives of religion(eg community building, and instilling for the most part positive values) so I'm fine with it. But while I'm ok with religion to an extent, I also don't believe in them in terms of why they came to be("divine powers", as opposed to just a bunch of dudes who wanted people to follow what they felt were decent and proper values to instill in your life, and thus made up a god(s)), so they better not expect me to fake that I believe and pray to a god I don't think exists. Since I'm tolerant of her beliefs, I expect her to be tolerant of mine, or lackereof.

On the rival team front, it seems more and more likely that I may be marrying an Oilers fan, so there's not much I can do about that. Although it has been pretty funny laughing at her about her team these past few seasons. There's a plus to everything!