09-21-2009, 09:37 AM
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#21
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#1 Goaltender
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Calgary...Alberta, Canada
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There's a mention by Dr. Oz in the most recent Men's Health magazine that encourages you to self-diagnose by checking out your poo. It's not something I'm a fan of, but as I get older, it's probably something I should be doing more often.
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We may curse our bad luck that it's sounds like its; who's sounds like whose; they're sounds like their (and there); and you're sounds like your. But if we are grown-ups who have been through full-time education, we have no excuse for muddling them up.
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09-21-2009, 09:37 AM
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#22
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Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Crowsnest Pass
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cowperson
You can never fail to be amazed at what comes out of there . . . . .
Cowperson
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. . . peanut and corn surprise . . .
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09-21-2009, 09:49 AM
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#23
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One of the Nine
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Space Sector 2814
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Yes I always do. I've had some weird stuff end up in there that I didn't recognize. I remember the one time I pooped purple for a week, I couldn't figure out WDF it was.. probably a slurpee or something.
The best is when you get an epic poop and you are so proud of it you just have to tell your friends or internet message board brothers. Like the football poops or the Supermans that form a S because they are so long.
Good times. I enjoy every minute I spend on the toilet.
Actually as I type this I am forming an epic poop. I ate a lot yesterday, blueberrie pancakes with fresh blueberries/strawberries on top, then for supper I had French Onion soup, with a stir fry, home made spinach wrap thingies and ribs. Then last night as I watched the Flames game I had chips and a big bowl of home made salsa. All rolling around in there I can feel it forming up. This will be one for the ages.
Actually to add even more, this poop is so epic that right now my stomach is actually pushed out because of the amount of food in there. I opted not to wear my belt today because I knew it would be uncomfortable sitting at my desk. I bet when I am done my pants will be falling down all day. I will keep you posted on my progress.
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"In brightest day, in blackest night / No evil shall escape my sight / Let those who worship evil's might / Beware my power, Green Lantern's light!"
Last edited by GreenLantern; 09-21-2009 at 09:52 AM.
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The Following User Says Thank You to GreenLantern For This Useful Post:
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09-21-2009, 10:32 AM
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#24
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Franchise Player
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Memento Mori
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This forum has gone down the crapper.
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09-21-2009, 10:35 AM
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#25
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Powerplay Quarterback
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We need a poo forum to house all these poo-related threads.
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09-21-2009, 10:42 AM
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#26
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Powerplay Quarterback
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: hammer of justice crushes you
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sometimes I examine them with my tongue
wait what
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09-21-2009, 11:51 AM
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#27
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#1 Goaltender
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Yes, but they always fail the essay portion.
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by Biff
If the NHL ever needs an enema, Edmonton is where they'll insert it.
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The Following User Says Thank You to SeeGeeWhy For This Useful Post:
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09-21-2009, 11:58 AM
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#28
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Powerplay Quarterback
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: St. Albert
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09-21-2009, 12:11 PM
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#29
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Powerplay Quarterback
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Well you should be getting a physical exam every year, complete with blood work and urine/stool analysis. I'll let the lab examine my poops, thank-you.
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09-21-2009, 12:54 PM
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#30
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Franchise Player
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Not sure
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Quote:
Originally Posted by fotze
We call that shelf "the observation deck".
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I dubbed it "the staging area"
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09-21-2009, 03:35 PM
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#31
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Crash and Bang Winger
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I went for a physical a few years back and I was telling my new doctor things that have been going on, I finished with "My poo tasted salty". She went right on as if nothing happened and wrote it down. I was like, "Whoa, I was just kidding there". She replied, "oh thank god, I wasn't sure. I've heard of some strange before, so I wasn't sure."
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The Following User Says Thank You to millhouse11 For This Useful Post:
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09-21-2009, 03:56 PM
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#32
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Franchise Player
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Not sure
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Quote:
Originally Posted by millhouse11
She went right on as if nothing happened and wrote it down. I was like, "Whoa, I was just kidding there". She replied, "oh thank god, I wasn't sure. I've heard of some strange before, so I wasn't sure."
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Good thing you cleared that up, she may have been writing down "Total Quack" on her file and getting you setup with the nut house.
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09-21-2009, 03:59 PM
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#33
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Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Crowsnest Pass
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Let's have a smell, all right? Oh, everyone likes their own brand, don't they? Oh, this is magic! Hmmm, wafting, wafting. Ok, analysis. Ooh, smells like carrots in throw-up! Oh that could gag a maggot! It smells like hot sick ass in a dead carcass! Even stink would say that stinks! You know when you go into an apartment building and you smell the other people's cooking on each floor and you go "What are they cookin'?" That, plus crap!
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09-21-2009, 04:04 PM
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#34
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Franchise Player
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: CGY
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I just let one go that was absolutely massive. I mean, it must have measured four+ feet long and had a good two inch+ diameter.
This was after eating McDonalds, Salmon Steak with Potatoes and Corn, Pop corn, Ice Cream, an Omelette, and then more McDonalds (chicken salad and more ice cream).
I feel very accomplished at work today.
__________________
So far, this is the oldest I've been.
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09-21-2009, 04:35 PM
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#35
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#1 Goaltender
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DFO
Here are some different poop types,
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Pop a vein in your forehead poop – This kind is the kind of poop that killed Elvis. It doesn’t come until you’re all sweaty, trembling and purple from straining so hard
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09-21-2009, 08:13 PM
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#36
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First Line Centre
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Fort McMurray, AB
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Besides observing, a fun game is to weigh yourself before and after. The first few days are pretty blah, but once you start putting poops off and eating certain things to try and challenge yourself things can get quite interesting pretty quickly.
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09-21-2009, 08:17 PM
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#37
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One of the Nine
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Quote:
Originally Posted by schteve_d
Besides observing, a fun game is to weigh yourself before and after. The first few days are pretty blah, but once you start putting poops off and eating certain things to try and challenge yourself things can get quite interesting pretty quickly.
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Haha. When I was about 12, my friend and I went to Lindsay Park to go swimming or something. So we got changed and on the way out of the boys room, there was a scale. We both weighed ourselves and continued on to the pool. Just before we jumped in, my buddy announced that he had to drop a spike, so he went back into the boys room and did his business.
A few minutes later, he comes running out of the washroom yelling that he weighed himself again and he "dropped a three pounder!!". I was laughing so hard because he was yelling it so loud that half the building could hear hime.
That was an ongoing joke for years after that. "Dude, I'll be back in a bit, I've got a three pounder brewing..."
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