Why can't you understand!?! - Calgarypuck Forums - The Unofficial Calgary Flames Fan Community

Frank the Tank · 07-12-2005, 12:50 PM

So let me set the stage by saying that I love my parents immensely. They are the two most amazing people I know. They have provided me with everything I needed in life, supported everything I have ever done, helped me through rough times, good times, everything in between, and generally, they are just a riot to be around.

But man. Sometimes the whole generation gap rears its ugly head. It usually surfaces when computers are involved. And usually with my father. He thinks he's all "hip" and "connected" because he has a computer and a digital camera. He still uses Windows 2000 as his OS.

So the follks are over at my place the other night to visit the grandson. We have a new PC at home. (Yes, I bought a Windows machine). I did some research and had one built as opposed to buying the "out-of-the-box" model from a big store. So I am showing my dad the benefits of Windows XP as it is fairly slick, and I am starting to get used to it. I'm showing him all the video of Ethan I have downloaded, how i can burn it to DVDs, all the digital pictures we have, the cool video card I bought that is hooked up to the TV...blah blah blah.

I show him some photos of Ethan that I'm kind of fooling around with in Photoshop as a joke. Cutting him out of pictures and putting him in front of St. Peters in Rome, at Flowerpot Island in Tobermory, stuff like that, when my dad says "Have you seen that picture from the tsunami in December?"

Immediately I know he is talking about this:

Fake-diddly-ake!

I tell my wise old father that said picture is a fake. (He has no idea about Snopes) and he says no way because a friend of ours sent that to him. That means it must be real!! Oh dad. You poor poor man.

We have the following conversation:

Me: "Dad. You realize that with Photoshop I can create any photo that I want, real or not right?"
Dad: "Huh?"
Me: "Its just time restraints dad. Given the proper amount of time, I can do anything to any picture I want once it is on my computer"
Dad: "No you can't"
Me: "Oh dad, you have a lot to learn about computers. Come with me."

We go upstairs to my work-from-home Mac and I fire up an old job. Its a brand we redesigned last year, really slick with nice bottle shots on the main panels and end panels. So I open the artwork for the 24 and ask my dad "what do you see?"

He says "a 24". Great. Progress. I ask him if anything unusual pops out and he says no. I then ask him if he wants to take the red pill or the green pill. He doesn't get it. Shock, he hasn't seen the Matrix.

I then proceed to tell him that the bottle pictured on the case doesn't exist. Its all digital. Created in 3D, prettied up in Photoshop and placed on a carton. All before one label or cap was even printed. I open up the main panel file in Photoshop and start going through the layers. I turn on and off the ice, sweat, cap, label, neck label, even the fill liquid inside the bottle and tell dad that we "invented" this digital photo studio for our client because photography for a redesign costs about $25,000 and our process costs about $5,000 and looks the same and can be done in a couple of days instead of a few weeks.

Dad just stood there, dumbfounded. I think I may have caused some sort of brain damage.

So my question is this: Have you guys ever had a conversation where you just couldn't believe the person was that clueless?

I have a few more of these, but I'll save them for later.

RougeUnderoos · 07-12-2005, 01:20 PM

Laugh that's funny. I'm no expert but I once photoshopped a photo of my niece into an ad for the Scoody-Doo movie and a couple oldsters were quite mystified. The worst part of that though is they will, almost inevitably, point to something on the screen and they will touch the screen and leave nice marks and fingerprints.

That's a problem with all not-used-to-computer types -- they touch the screen. And it drives me crazy.

That's not the worst thing though. What's worse is when someone finally gets a computer (it's 2005!) and learn a bit of the internet and then they start e-mailing you with every lame joke, hoax, "funny" picture and chain letter on earth, and if you don't respond they send it again. Or they send it about 10 times and the last one says "I'm not sure if you got this". And to make things easier sometimes they will sign you up for one of those "send this to a friend -- type in e-mail address here" and you are on a spam list.

Sorry Frank, doesn't quite fit the parameters, but I had to get it off my chest.

Frank the Tank · 07-12-2005, 01:22 PM

Anja. Pronounced "on-yah". I worked with her years ago at this place called Sterling Marking Products. Sterling-the pay sucked but I learned a lot. You can see my handy work under the Business cards and printing section. I haven't been there for about 4 years, so they update the pictures frequently.

Anyhow, over lunch I made the startling discovery that Anja had no idea what a landfill was. Seriously. She had no idea where garbage went. I spent the whole hour explaining how it all worked, why Totonto had to ship out their garbage.

Who the hell doesn't know what a landfill is!?!

Frank the Tank · 07-12-2005, 01:25 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by RougeUnderoos@Jul 12 2005, 01:36 PM
Laugh that's funny. I'm no expert but I once photoshopped a photo of my niece into an ad for the Scoody-Doo movie and a couple oldsters were quite mystified. The worst part of that though is they will, almost inevitably, point to something on the screen and they will touch the screen and leave nice marks and fingerprints.

That's a problem with all not-used-to-computer types -- they touch the screen. And it drives me crazy.

That's not the worst thing though. What's worse is when someone finally gets a computer (it's 2005!) and learn a bit of the internet and then they start e-mailing you with every lame joke, hoax, "funny" picture and chain letter on earth, and if you don't respond they send it again. Or they send it about 10 times and the last one says "I'm not sure if you got this". And to make things easier sometimes they will sign you up for one of those "send this to a friend -- type in e-mail address here" and you are on a spam list.

Sorry Frank, doesn't quite fit the parameters, but I had to get it off my chest.

Totally fits as far as I'm concerned. I just convinced my dad that those "IF YOU RECIEVE AN E-MAIL TITLED ASS-BANDIT-MIDGET-CIRCUS-TROUPE do not open it, it will erase your hard drive and give you a colonoscopy" e-mails are fake and really just chain letters.

That only took 5 years.

Cowperson · 07-12-2005, 01:26 PM

I think its time you told your father you got a girl pregnant and you need money . . . lots of money. He'll go for it.

Cowperson

Frank the Tank · 07-12-2005, 01:30 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Cowperson@Jul 12 2005, 01:42 PM
I think its time you told your father you got a girl pregnant and you need money . . . lots of money. He'll go for it.

Cowperson

Funny thing, he doesn't fall for that one! Sold us their old (well 2002) Focus wagon when my truck died and the air didn't work. Cheap bugger won't reimburse me the $400 it took to get it fixed!

JiriHrdina · 07-12-2005, 01:35 PM

My parents got a computer in their home a couple years back. Why I'm not sure but that's beside the point. The biggest difference I noticed was they are unable to understand the basics of how the software works. Specifically they are unable to apply what they know about Word in another program (say Excel).

And the Internet - well....let's just say that blows their mind. I showed my dad Ebay one day and it nearly put him in a coma.

Eagle Eye · 07-12-2005, 01:59 PM

My Father-in-law just got a new computer and used the interent and email for the first time. Well I have never seen someone get so much spam, pop-ups and other crap on their computer so fast. shinguard he only had it for a week and it was barely running. He just clicked on everything he saw, and istalled everything he saw. I showed him what a link was and what to do with them, but I think that he thought he was supposed to click on everything he saw.

Eagle Eye · 07-12-2005, 02:12 PM

The funny thing with my wife's parents is that I wasn't used to having to show my parents around a computer, my dad was involved with them since I can remember. It was a little hard to explain to her parents even the basics of typing, the mouse, and windows.

4X4 · 07-12-2005, 02:14 PM

Well, my two bits isn't as impressive as you guys.... No matter how many times I tell my dad, he just cannot get the one-click two-click thing straight.

He'll be on the internet double-clicking every link he goes to, then he'll go to look at pictures on the hard drive & click once & patiently wait for the thing to open.
Next thing you know, he goes to use the internet again (I put it on the quick launch for him) and he'll click it twice, then be totally impatient & click it 5 more times, then ask me why there are 7 windows open.

No biggie, really... Just amusing to me.

The other thing about his computer habits is the messines of his desktop. I'm sure some of you guys out there are messy desktop people, but nobody is as bad as my dad. Anything interesting, put a link on the desktop. The whole screen is full. He has to go through & clean the thing every few days so that more can fit on there. I guess the only reason thats surprising is because everything else must be "nice and neat".

Frank the Tank · 07-12-2005, 02:17 PM

The thing I notice with my parents generation is that they assume that since i work on a computer all day, I must know EVERYTHING about computers. I mean really, I know Illustrator, Photoshop, QuarkXPress, InDesign, Maya, Acrobat and some add-on packages for making flexo printing plates. Thats about it. My parents constantly ask me how to do stuff with powerpoint, excel, word. I've never even opened any of these programs!

RougeUnderoos · 07-12-2005, 02:22 PM

My mom can't work a cordless phone. I guess for 55 years she's just picked up the phone and heard the dialtone and you press the buttons and away you go but I got them a fancy Uniden with orange lights and the "press talk" thing is a bit tough and she often just sets it down to hang it up but that doesn't hang it up. That can lead to some long voicemail messages on the other end.

Frank the Tank · 07-12-2005, 02:39 PM

I worked with another woman who didn't realize that you hit "tab" to scroll through the windows on the print dialogue box and was hitting return. Box would disappear. She'd go file-print again, punch in her first set of numbers, hit return. Window would disappear.....

I caught her after about the fifth time. Not a big deal except she was sending the files to film. She had about 90 feet of film burned up off a 200 foot roll and the rolls of film were about $2,500 each.

She'd worked there for like 12 years.

Tron_fdc · 07-12-2005, 03:40 PM

These threads are alwayts funny to me. I really can't understand how I can learn something in 5 minutes, and 5 years later my dad still doesn't know his hard drive from the monitor.

We recently upgraded him from his pentium 80 (I'm not kidding) because it couldn't load all the new software we were running. His reasoning the last 10 years was that it was hard enough upgrading the 286 he was running, and had just gotten used to the "new" pentium machine.

He ended up with a laptop (apparently it's AMAZING being able to take a computer home and do work) but GOOD GOD is it hard to watch him try to operate it. I tried to convince him to get a docking station, but he wanted to try and learn how to use the machine before getting something that would make his life easier. It's kinda sad (and funny) watching a 57 yr old man hunched over his desk scrolling around on the mousepad with one finger, doubleclicking everything in site, and adding it to his favorites menu.

The kicker is that he still doesn't believe the "wireless thing" works on his computer (you have to turn it on by pressing a button on the laptop) and insists on plugging it into random network cables around the office. How else can he print out his non-work related cattle EPD's from a DOS based program written in the year 1825???

Tron_fdc · 07-12-2005, 03:44 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Frank the Tank@Jul 12 2005, 01:33 PM
The thing I notice with my parents generation is that they assume that since i work on a computer all day, I must know EVERYTHING about computers. I mean really, I know Illustrator, Photoshop, QuarkXPress, InDesign, Maya, Acrobat and some add-on packages for making flexo printing plates. Thats about it. My parents constantly ask me how to do stuff with powerpoint, excel, word. I've never even opened any of these programs!

I hear ya. Because I knew how to install and operate 56k modems back in the day, I had to go to my grandma's and put her system together. When I was done she turns to me and says:

"Now what's with all the pornography I hear about? How do I get to see that?"

Not something I want to discuss with my grandma, that's fer effin sure!!!

Tron_fdc · 07-12-2005, 03:55 PM

Anyone else ever walked in a co worker viewing "questionable" material? About 6 yrs ago I walked around one guys desk who had apparently never used Alt-Tab before, and was looking at "Hot blond urinating" or something to that effect. The look on his face was priceless, as he furiously started clicking buttons trying to get the photos off the screen. Just recently we let the guy go, and had a real fun time trying to clean all the crap off his computer. The disk drive opens and closes every 5 minutes or so for no apparent reason,and if anyone needs some credits for Lavalife let me know.

Cheese · 07-13-2005, 08:52 AM

well as one of the senior residents here on the board I take offence to you younguns hammering your poor parents! IF you would have taken the time MUCH earlier in life to help train them they wouldnt be so insecure about the World Wide Web and how they can get to the porn!

I have seen young Engineers and Technologists come out of University/College "supposedly" with good knowledge and understanding of computers and especially with AutoCadd. Its funny watching them try to do drawings in Excel or some other program not even remotely connected to Design.....how do you explain to these young whippersnappers that they should actually read the program name before opening it?

I can outcomputer the majority of the young people I know...except those that do it for a living.
Gentlemen...draw your gu...errrr mouse!
:unsure:

FireFly · 07-13-2005, 09:52 AM

I work for a cell phone company, which isn't quite the same as computers, but I certainly get calls from people who really should've passed an IQ test before being allowed to buy one.

The one that sticks out most in my mind is a lady who called in about 4 months after she purchased the phone just freaking right out! I asked her how I could help her, and she wanted to know how to turn the phone on. That's right. How to turn it on. Apparently the dealer, being the helpful chap that he was, turned it on for her and she'd never turned it off, except this once, and that was an accident, she didn't know how she did it. Then I asked her if she still had the manual and she impatiently told me she threw it out. So I told her how to turn it on, and suggested she log on to our website for the user manual if she ever needs to learn how to do something in the future. Seriously. It's a peice of electronic equipment lady. You need to reboot it once in a while....

Frank the Tank · 07-13-2005, 10:17 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Cheese@Jul 13 2005, 09:08 AM
well as one of the senior residents here on the board I take offence to you younguns hammering your poor parents! IF you would have taken the time MUCH earlier in life to help train them they wouldnt be so insecure about the World Wide Web and how they can get to the porn!
I have seen young Engineers and Technologists come out of University/College "supposedly" with good knowledge and understanding of computers and especially with AutoCadd. Its funny watching them try to do drawings in Excel or some other program not even remotely connected to Design.....how do you explain to these young whippersnappers that they should actually read the program name before opening it?

I can outcomputer the majority of the young people I know...except those that do it for a living.
Gentlemen...draw your gu...errrr mouse!
:unsure:

I actually don't really view it as an age thing. I just use my parents because my brother lives out of town so I am now officially "MOM & POPS TECHSUPPORT".

I show them how to do the SAME thing over and over and over and over....

They just don't understand the basic concept of the computer. I keep telling my dad "Its like an electronic filing cabinet..."

Sigh. My work will never be done.

Frank the Tank · 07-13-2005, 10:18 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Tron_fdc@Jul 12 2005, 04:11 PM
Anyone else ever walked in a co worker viewing "questionable" material? About 6 yrs ago I walked around one guys desk who had apparently never used Alt-Tab before, and was looking at "Hot blond urinating" or something to that effect. The look on his face was priceless, as he furiously started clicking buttons trying to get the photos off the screen. Just recently we let the guy go, and had a real fun time trying to clean all the crap off his computer. The disk drive opens and closes every 5 minutes or so for no apparent reason,and if anyone needs some credits for Lavalife let me know.

That frickin' made me laugh right out loud. Now my coworkers think I'm drunk. Wait a tick.....